The Real Reason The Large Hadron Collider Keeps Getting Delayed

As a part-time physics nerd, I get excited enough just reading Brian Greene books, so I can’t even imagine what the mood’s like over at the CERN dorms, where this polite advisory was allegedly posted.

This theory, though extremely difficult to prove conclusively, doesn’t jibe with CERN’s latest explanation for their LHC’s failure to perform:

The latest delays to the restart of the Large Hadron Collider are likely to have been caused by a faulty hose.

To the contrary, my Franco-Swiss friends. [Reddit]