Sweet Confession: I Ate An Apple Tablet
With Taste Test in full swing, I couldn’t resist taking a dream concept and challenging a chocolatier. The end result, my friends, is the best tasting Apple product ever. (Trust me on that claim, I ate the whole thing.)
Many, many thanks to Michelle Palisi of Chocolates by Michelle in Port Richey, Florida for making this project possible and for being my personal Willy Wonka.
In the Beginning, There Was Jesus
There’s no hiding the fact that our own Jesus Diaz is a bit of a daydreamer. A little while ago he went as far as to share one of his favourite dreams with us in all its high-definition glory: The Apple Tablet (also known as the iTablet), shown here meticulously rendered next to Jesus’ iMac and iPhone.
I’ll be honest: I drooled when I saw the concept. Not because I’m an Apple fangirl (the only Apple products I own are iPhones and iPods), not because I spotted a Dorothy Parker book in the background, but because I had chocolate on my mind. To me, the iTablet looked like it was one great big chocolate bar straight out of a wacky Willy Wonka fantasy.
And despite all the perks of working for Gizmodo (such as [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]), I didn’t have a Golden Ticket that would let me find out if good ol’ Willy really did make something like this iTablet. But I had something better.
Then There Was Michelle
I had Michelle Palisi, chocolatier extraordinaire, the bane of my waistline, and the person who turned my daydream into reality.
Michelle didn’t even bat an eyelash when I came to her with my request. Instead she looked at the pictures I gave her, studied my iPhone, and handed me a brownie pan. Not one of those odd all-edges brownie pans, but just a simple, basic, plain ol’ brownie pan. For a moment I thought that she had been inhaling too many sprinkles, but then she explained that making a precise mold would cut it too close time-wise, so she would improvise a bit.
Touchscreen? How About Lickscreen?
In my mind, the biggest challenge with the chocolate Apple Tablet was the screen. I’ve seen some cool things done with fondant and frosting, but the screen I wanted had far too much detail for that.
Michelle on the other hand, already had a solution in mind before I even mentioned my concerns: The screen would be printed (with edible ink) on edible paper.
Is This Really Going to Work?
Through some crazy combination of improvised brownie pans, my iPhone and Jesus’ concept as models, edible paper, piping gel, edible paint, frosting and who knows what else—is that a melon baller Michelle is holding?—the dream chocolate iTablet looked like it was moving closer to reality.
Time to Wake Up
When Michelle called me to come see the final products, I was on edge. What if my dream melted into a nightmare? Would the silver bezel drip right off? Would there be dead pixels on the screen?
My fears were for naught. Michelle, who had never even heard of the rumoured iTablet before I approached her, did a rather good job creating a chocolate model. The bezel did turn out to be the main issue as the paint smeared with even the lightest touch, leaving my hands looking as if I’d been groping the Silver Surfer.
Lickable But Not Clickable
For a moment I’d let myself imagine that maybe I would be able to switch that damned song with a flick of my finger, but sadly my chocolate gadget is stuck on an infinite replay.
Mmmm….Yes, It’s Definitely Edible
So, how edible is this tablet? The entire thing can be eaten. From the painted bezel to the screen. (Though I must admit that while it melted in my mouth, I wasn’t a fan of the screen taste.)
And Yes, I Ate the Whole Thing
Yummy screen or not, for the sake of proper taste testing I gradually nibbled my way through the entire tablet. Yes, that’s a lot of chocolate and thank goodness that rumour about an XL version didn’t come out yet, because I don’t think I would’ve made it through a tablet that size.
Verdict? Choco-Tablet Beats iPhone Across the Board in Taste Test
It would be a travesty to not truly live up to our theme and conduct a proper comparison test. So I made sure to try out the edibility of another Apple product, my iPhone. Let’s just assume that it doesn’t taste all that great because I gave up on taking a bite after nearly chipping a tooth.
The Morning After
Messy hands, slight tummy ache and a broken chocolate addiction later, I’m satisfied with how this journey from dream to chocolate reality ended. But I definitely hope that the next dream concept isn’t a 30 incher. There is such a thing as too much chocolate.
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Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)
@Rosa Golijan: Nice! I totally missed that one.
I would have filled mine with coffee flavored ice cream. Speaking of which I may have to go out and get some now.. Thanks!
@these.
@Software_Goddess: Yeah, yeah. It hurts but in a good way, right?
@Rosa Golijan: Well that was a lot of chocolate to consume, in one sitting. The iphone-sized slab on the other hand would have been just right.
And I take it that you won't have a chocolate craving anytime soon..
@Rosa Golijan: Torture of love.
D.E.P.C.: I want your body.
@Rosa Golijan: Ah, I forgot that you were with Lifehacker before Gizmodo. And I would by no means call it torture.
@Identity: Omg! Nessie!: I've been torturing Gizmodo readers since the end of July and Lifehacker readers since mid May.
@Tristan Alécksandt: Ask the Dust - John Fante
A Movable Feast - Ernest Hemmingway
Fragile Things - Neil Gaiman
The Portable Dorothy Parker
Upgrade Your Life - Gina Trapani
It's meant to mimic the original concept picture, but if you want to really get into it: Gina's book is there because Lifehacker is my home away from Gizmodo, Ask the Dust is one of my favorite books, I adore Gaiman and Parker, and Hemmingway is just a Fitzgerald-hating blowhard, but I like him anyway.
Anyone else notice the name of those books in photo 1 is rather congruous to this whole shtick? "Upgrade Your Life," "The Portable," and um, "Fragile things." I can't read the other one.
Tristan Alécksandt
@D.E.P.C. is on a Sexpedition: But these ones are intelligent. And I definitely second the cuteness. Although, I'm not sure how new Rosa is. I've been enjoying her articles a while.
@Fulgrymm: Not quite like plain rice cakes, but that's a reasonably close description.
@maven2k: Thank you. Mainly for making that sound a lot less creepy than @GitEmSteveDave.
@Rosa Golijan: So just like plain rice cakes, then? Tasty.
Fulgrymm
@D.E.P.C. is on a Sexpedition: Hey, it beats all of the sudden, all of the sudden.
Fulgrymm
@BK Beezy: Yes.
I don't like chocolate. Does that make a me a bad person?
@D.E.P.C. is on a Sexpedition: All of a sudden, all of a sudden.
D.E.P.C.: I want your body.
Does Gizmodo have a Fox News hiring policy all of a sudden? There are a ton of cute female editors all of a sudden.
D.E.P.C.: I want your body.
@OMG! Ponies!: Which is why I prefer my humanoids in Azure and Vermillion.
WyldeChef
This is why Gizmodo > everything else.
@Rosa Golijan: Foiled again. Damnit.
@PaintTheSkyGrey: Damn. I already sent Brian chocolates as a 'thank you'.
@Rosa Golijan: Oh. Then it was all me.
@PaintTheSkyGrey: Trouble? It was the best compliment I've gotten all day.
@Rosa Golijan: I do try my best :p
And I think BLam should get in trouble, too, cause he kinda promoted the comment. Meaning he approves. Yell at Brian. Not me. IT WAS ALL HIS IDEA.
@Rosa Golijan: LOL, I'm in Bradenton/Sarasota area. Nice to see that there are more Giz readers/writers in FL besides me!
DigitalPasture
@OMG! Ponies!: I'm not so sure that I want to be part of @GitEmSteveDave's cross dressing adventures like that....or at all.
@PaintTheSkyGrey: Comparing me to Jesus and calling me odd? You sure know how to flatter a girl.
@TheAlmeida: It’s not painful.
I’m very flexible.
Software_Goddess
@Jrsy Devil's Food Cake®: Oh, please…I soooo want to sink my teeth into your devil’s food.
I won’t break the skin.
Software_Goddess
@KTK1990: Like heaven. Except the screen. That tasted like styrofoam.
@OCEntertainment: I can only imagine. I do wish I'd seen the look on the man's face when this got eaten.
@SuperNumberOne: I couldn't resist...they were too sweet.
@Jrsy Devil's Food Cake®: I loved it until I got about halfway through. Then it became difficult to take any more bites.
@eipxen: It's an SZ Series Sony Vaio. My favorite despite many changes and upgrades.
@muu: The screen is printed on edible paper which I'm told is basically rice paper. Tastes a bit like styrofoam though.
@John Dillingham: Ha! I remember you. One of the very few people in Pasco using a Hackintosh.
Wow, crazy, I actually met the writer of this article at the mall where the chocolate store is located. Had no idea she was a writer for Giz. She made a comment on my Dell Mini9 and asked what OS I was running. I should have known she was cool... Small world! Great article Rosa!
John Dillingham
@Software_Goddess: No teeth, no teeth!
Is there really any candy (or food for that matter) better than chocolate? You have really nice teeth, btw.
maven2k
Is this like a print of some sort? One of my friends works at a cookie shop, and he brought a couple with glazing that looked like a photo. Apparently there's a machine of sorts that let you bake that crap on cookies, though the big difference here is that it's not supposed to taste very good (I ate the other normal cookies he brought over instead).
could I ask what laptop is in the first photo? it looks rather nice and I was thinking about getting something more portable
eipxen
For some reason, I thought Jesus posted this, since he's the one that always comes up with the... odder posts. Then I saw a girl. And I was like "Trap?" And then I realised it was Rosa.
Yep.
@jeroenstuyts: Donate your unnecessary apostrophes to a charity that raises money to feed bloggers.
Most disturbing thing I've seen all day. And I visited Encyclopedia Dramatica twice.
First a cellphone, now a tablet ... Do you guy's make enough money to eat?
Great, now Giz has gone into the Food Porn business alongside the Food channel. Bah!
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you most likely enjoyed that a whole lot better than Adam did when he consumed that over-sized, powdered cheese covered hamster pellet..
@Software_Goddess: So... WHY is your foot in such a painful (yet elegant) angle?!?!
TheAlmeida
Make a cake shaped like a Snow Leopard box with this week's Photoshop winner's image.
Why does this turn me on?
Screen Name
@CaseyG: There is nothing wrong with your Internet. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. She is controlling the transmission…
@OMG! Ponies!: So he's trying to come into her.
@CaseyG: haha nice, heart for you
There's something wrong with your image viewer. For some reason, I'm having a really hard time navigating away from image number 9.
CaseyG
@OMG! Ponies!: haha I held back on mine so not to get the restraining order but you went full out, nice job sir
@bornonbord: What you say is true: Don't worry. He's not trying to come onto her. He just wants to make a dress from her skin.
@GitEmSteveDave_♥'sRenegadeIrishman: I think it would have been creepier if you had mentioned that you wanted them to put on your wall or something... just mentioning them doesn't seem to rate very high on the creep-o-meeter
Is having Dorothy Parker on your desk a requirement when displaying a fake Apple Tablet?
Segador
@MichaelBrazell: He did (kind of)
@GitEmSteveDave_♥'sRenegadeIrishman: I don't think I've ever read you as creepy....
LOL that was great.
My head is swimming with all the other things I’d love to have them make out of chocolate, so I can sink my teeth into it!
Software_Goddess
Amazing job Rosa. You took the simple work of rendering a concept in Photoshop, and made it a reality in the Candy Shoppe! Bravo.And by the way, you have a nice set of teeth.
Wait, did that sound creepy?
PS, if you wanted something that tasted better, you should have loaded up iCal, and eaten one of the Sunday's to cleanse the palette.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away?
MaribelHammer
So close to comic greatness!
You should have gone to a local baker and had him/her make you a tasty Apple piePhone...
Dorothy Parker? Lawl.
Jake Michael-John Le Master
There goes all the R&D budget... way to go! :)
"There is such a thing as too much chocolate."
Dr Hibbert: "Do you suffer from diabetes?"
Carl: "No..."
Dr Hibbert: "Well you do now!
SuperTuna
You have consumed my very hopes and dreams....
a moveable feast, more like a mobile feast
Until now, I'd been sick of hearing Tablet news. This, however, is most welcome.
Please tell me Jesus lost his mind when you walked in with this thing, then excitement turned to horror as you ingested it, piece by piece.
Wow, Giz finds a way to shoehorn iTablet hype into everything. It would be impressive it it wasn't so downright crass.
Nice, Neil Gaiman. If only he had followed up American Gods...
MichaelBrazell
How did it taste? I herd there were chips inside of it. BBQ flavored chips?
KTK1990
uh, that looks ridiculous(ly tasty)