Large Hadron Collider “Light” Will Half-End World In November

While we doubt the loud sex is the real reason for CERN’s LHC-related woes, we are certain of one thing this morning: The “world-ending” LHC (citation: ill-informed ignoramuses) LHC will restart at half-strength in November.

The reasons floated for the collider’s foibles are many as of late, from faulty hoses to un-magnetic magnets to the aforementioned libidinous couple who’ve been assaulting coworkers’ ear drums with wanton abandon.

Nevertheless, pressure from scientists have forced CERN to start the LHC up in November, where it will then smash atoms at half power until next year—when it will have to be shut down again.

Meanwhile, this may all be moot, at least for now, as many scientists (publicly and privately) have turned their eager eyes to other colliders around the world, like Fermilab’s Tevatron, for use with similar experiments. [MSNBC]