‘Blunt Puncture’ Condom Tester Is Not A Sexy Machine

This crazy contraption is a “Coital Model,” something used by condom manufacturers to determine when condoms break. Yes, that’s a big old penis on there. Uh, sexy?

Over a period of 7 years, broken condoms returned to a supplier (SSL, Durex) via consumer complaints were examined to determine the cause of failure. Also, some consumers who reported breakage but did not return condoms were sent a questionnaire on the causes of breakage. Finally, theories proposed for the mechanism of breakage were investigated on a laboratory coital model. RESULTS: Nearly 1000 (n=972) returned condoms made from natural rubber and polyurethane were examined. Visible features on those that were broken, were classified. Evidence combined from examining returns, questionnaire responses and the coital model strongly suggests a single predominant mechanism of failure we named “blunt puncture,” where the tip of the thrusting male penis progressively stretches one part of the intact condom wall until it ultimately breaks.

Wait just a goddamned minute. People mail in their broken condoms?! What in the holy f–k? I’m as big a fan of providing feedback to manufacturers when products don’t work as advertised, but that’s downright disgusting. [NCBI ROFL via io9]