This Is Why You Need To Know When To Say When
Hey, I’m all for a night out drinking now and then, but not to the point where I’m crawling into industrial garbage bins to sleep one off. You might not wake up when it’s crunch time.
Case in point—math teacher and rugby coach Scott Williams was recently crushed to death when he fell asleep in an industrial garbage bin in Brighton, UK. His body was discovered more than 24 hours later by sanitation workers.
Seems like an open and shut case, but I still have to wonder whether or not the Boozy Shredder was involved somehow. Then again, could someone else be to blame? [The Argus via Fark]
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Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)
I guess this time
*Takes off sunglasses*
the trash took him out
YEAAAAAAAaaa!!!!!!
spider2544
Looks like he should have just stuck to crunching numbers...
@admoseremic: You sir, have won the game.
Lupison
R2, we are too late... They are dying. Oh, darn my circuits!
Bah, he'll be fine after quick rub down with a sponge and some water!
Atticka
The coroner explained that in order to perform the autopsy, the corpse had to undergo a cube-root.
bustedchain
Obviously capitalism is to blame. ;-)
Dane Bendixen
This happens more often than you would think. I work at a recycle paper mill. We had a body show up in a bale of old news paper from St. Louis a couple years ago.
The guy and his wife, were homeless, and crawled into the collection bin to get out of the cold. They didn't get out before the collection truck crushed them. They found the wife at the recycle facility in St. Louis but the husband made it all the way to the paper mill.
Before the police figured out who he was, everyone at work figured it was the Mafia. We also get old newspaper from Las Vegas...
Ryland Bingham
Not that I think that there should be a message-board wake, and not that I don't enjoy some irreverent joking most (read:all) of the time, but this got me thinking about how desensitized we've all become.
Dying in a garbage compactor must be a genuinely gruesome way to go. It would be an assault on all five senses, and a mental horror as well. That said, I squirted milk out of my nose when I saw Oscar.
@nutbastard: Sounds like a crap rugby coach if he can't handle a pub crawl and being crushed in a dumpster.
@admoseremic:
you've got a star in your future, buddy.
"rugby coach Scott Williams was recently crushed to death when he fell asleep in an industrial garbage bin in Brighton, UK."
meh. walk it off.
Ya, I'm thinking someone else is to blame. The guy probably passed out next to the dumpster and some jerks threw his passed-out ass in. Is that considered murder? Or just good ol' manslaughter? (man's laughter).
@thePrototype: No.. sadly I didn't. I did have a Sesame Street edutainment game for Mac OS 8, does that count?
ReynaldoRiv
@admoseremic: Im not sure what it does cuz I haven't been paying attention but I just clicked on your little star. I hope your pun was intended.
@admoseremic: enough with the garbage mouth.
@thePrototype: ........No.
I suddenly feel like I had a deprived childhood.
Bet he now understands "Pi" in a whole new level ;)
talk about a crushing headache
thedoc
In the compactor nobody can hear you scream?
Kids: "Oscar, you're a grouch"
Oscar: "Bitch, I live in a fucking trash can!"
What a waste of bad jokes. It's a pile of rubbish if you ask me, and I refuse to take part in this landfill of trashy jokes. It's like you're all recycling the same jokes over and over again without reducing the number of them, and some of these bags of jokes are getting quite hefty. The whole thing just reeks.
@Skeetz: Hey, no need to trash talk the guy.
So he got trashed huh...
Or how about this mathematical anomaly: A piss drunk teacher is at point A. He needs to get to point B, which is 4 nautical miles across river. 14 feet from the teacher is point C, an industrial sized tin sleeping can. D is the sum = to get to sleep fast an stay asleep..... forever. What would Will Hunting do?
OPHICERMANGO
@(Zombie) Goldwings: Talk about white trash.
@Darrone:
We Brits are international heavyweights when it comes to getting pissed though; 12 year olds drink more units than adults in other countries. And Brighton isn't going to somewhere where you had a few glasses of white. So in conclusion, he would have been so rat arsed that I'm surprised he got in the bin in the first place.
Violent Pacifist
@OMG! Ponies!: You majored in math didn't you?! i can tell you little devil, you
I'm sure his wife was . . . crushed. . . when she heard the news.
Well, probably a little bit better than the guy that got caught up in a shredder, dead sober.
@Bigbadbikernerd: I can't wait to hear Guy Smileys special report!
marc_with_a_c
I bet it was the Count! He was afraid the math teacher would steal his publicity. He enlisted Oscar to get rid of the body.
@(Zombie) Goldwings: Or he woke up extremely hungover, only to have the pain slowly increase by being crushed to death.
Then again, cured his hangover, didnt it?
Darrone
When questioned, his math students simply said: "He was the perfect teacher, now he's the perfect cube."
Skeetz
Here's my math:
One math teacher + 9 cans of lager + 4 fingers of whisky + poor judgment = dead math teacher
At least he as hammered and sleeping when it happened. I wouldn't want to be fully aware if my imminent moments of doom were going to be being in a small space while I feel my body being crushed :(
Did anyone else have the Oscar the Grouch add on in Mac OS 8, that would sing 'oh I love it, because it's trash' whenever you emptied the trash?
That was my first thought - foul play.
stryder100
@Darrone: The cure for the hangover has finally been found.
@Bigbadbikernerd: Is that the count and his twin?
Well that stinks.