How They Make The F-35 Lightning II Video

30 million a pop?

PaddyDugan

They funnel your group into a hanger, with temporary stadium seating or fold out chairs. They cover here and there with blue, black, or patriotic cloth. As they funnel you in, you pass ordinance (a sample of what the weapons platform or system can carry) blocked off by ropes, an ordinance safety offer (young) smiles and encourages questions- but gets sidetracked easily.

Somewhere are two large urns of coffee, some sodas, ice, water, maybe some snacks or a full spread. When all of you finally sit, you face podium with amp. A public information officer says hello, make some sort of joke and introduces some brass that then talks. Sometimes a guy in a suite talks, then another guy, and then they show this kind of video on a portable screen (sometimes it's inflatable and it giggles or blows around).

The video is almost always partly washed out. Then the middle guy talks again, and the public information officer talks, and somebody points to the system or platform. Everybody claps a second time, and mulls over to platform/system and talks to it's most eloquent operators- who look at you wondering if you exist for real, or if you are just a designated target of irritation.

I am left thinking, I was all for funding this before the video, but didn't anybody learn anything from TV. I want video that has the thing coming like Air Wolf and I want music that doesn’t say licenced from a video production company in a back ally of Burbank.

Air Wolf people, that’s how you sell your system. You can even go Street Hawk or Night Rider, but not this T.J. Hooker style video.

DeadWriter

Absolutely amazing. Incrediblydowant.

Isn't this sort of stuff slightly dangerous though? Tham dern terrorists.

All that video and I still love my F-16. ;)

But at least it's not fugly like the F-18... so maybe I can some day warm up to it. But it'll never replace the F-16 for me...

@bmoctta:

We have enough? Last time I counted we have 0 JSFs.

HarroChan

WORST MUSIC EVER

HarroChan

At 0:33 into the video, I thought they were building a Colonial Viper.

I want to land it at a fancy dress party, and have the lift fan blow off the hostess' clothing on approach. I'd say that would break the ice quite nicely.

Kaiser-Machead

How is this "Affordable"?
(See emblem at the end of the video)

@Tezlan: Jizz in it for me?

D.E.P.C. is on a Sexpedition

@switchblade saints: I think you mean: Working American's of 2025 wallets! (Or whatever odd year we are forced to raise taxes and reduce spending.)

D.E.P.C. is on a Sexpedition

I prefer the look of the F-22, but this is still a sexy aircraft.

Doing this plane would be like having sex with Samus Aran, except that her suit is actually empty cause she's in the other room blowing my best friend behind my back.

Samus is such a bitch sometimes.

@bmoctta: You may be thinking of the F-22, which is the one that has gotten all the press lately for being unnecessary yet still on order thanks to congress.

fryhole

@bmoctta: Actually we do need these. This was developed to replace the aging F-16 (Air Force), part of the F/A-18 fleet (Navy), and the Harrier Jet that the Marines currently operate. This is not an addition as you would think.

All I can say is that I'm glad the government had the sense to go with this sexy beast as opposed to the JSF proposed by Boeing. God that thing was fugly.

I mean, I like fighter jets as much as the next guy, but what's with the hollywood budget grade porno music?

litbruin

@bobdobbs: Yeah the unfortunate part being that the common man doesn't have enough money in his bank account to pay for the fuel this thing guzzles in a 15 minute runup and taxi...

beautiful aircraft

Pwnerjam3.0

This thing is just oh so nice! I will fly one of these one day.

Tezlan

Awesome piece of work. Except we don't need anymore. We have enough of them, and the DoD already wants to put the ridiculously bloated budget for this fleet, into a future one - I heard a piece on NPR with some senator crying about how we still needed these and it made me want to vomit.

bmoctta

I so want one of these. Just so's I can park it in my driveway while I sip beer on my porch and look at her.

@TheSonOfKrypton: You can probably still do that through the Electronic Mate and Alignment System ;)

It's really too bad this thing doesn't have a diploid chromosomal count compatible with humans......Otherwise, she and I would make sweet SWEET love and pop out little invisible to radar Kryptonians.

@laptopmemo: take that Working American's wallets!

BEST..FIGHTER..EVER!

Take that foreign forces!

i havent got used to this one and they are showing how they built it. can anyone think what kind of shit they are building and NOT showing?!?!?! i had a friend in the army once. he saw near area 51 (no, really) a really strong light on the surface that deployed a full out tornado. yeah no UFO. but still. i cant imagine what it is in R&D. someone said "if you have seen it in the movies we have it".

I seriously want one of those...in black with chrome details...with 18 inch rims...

@strider_mt2k:

Yeah, but there's a localized vibration on the driveshaft...

Hachiken

@Jeb_Hoge: Explain to me exactly how technology from a stealth-capable military strike fighter ends up in my vehicle again??

bmoctta

I didn't actually post this twice... WTF

bmoctta

@fryhole: I stand corrected. Your right fryhole. It is the F-22. In that case...

bmoctta

@FalconFour: Sure. And we should still be driving Pintos and Vegas, since they were good enough to get us to the 7/11 and back. Technology is too expensive!

Jeb_Hoge

What a tease. During the test flights, we can't even see a freakin' test rocket fire off, a test bomb drop, a test hover, OR a test mid-air-refuel.

I wanna see some freakin sharks with freakin lasers attached to their freakin heads!

Electro-nuclear carbeuration seems okay...

@ugadawg: "...the aging F-16 (Air Force)..."

Oh go to hell! It's not the F-16's fault that the military isn't buying any updated F-16s. Sure, they have old (think "one built in 1990 is a newer model") F-16s, but that's because they aren't buying any new ones. Weak.

Maybe the government should buy more cheap, new, updated F-16s instead of dumping money into entirely new models...

@The Red Comet: I had to heart both of you for that one. Bravo!

Magic Beans? Sure, I'll Buy Some!!

Looks toyish, but doing great after take-off. I hope it does what it was meant to do.