Heinz Beanzawave USB Desktop Microwave In Action

Here comes the Funcooker!! Where's the ham button?

Steven Johnson

This is pretty much it now... Once we have the USB toaster and USB urine solidifier we'll never have to leave our desks again!

bobofgold

@ursa: DO TELL!

Klappstuhl

@nutbastard: Darn, I was thinking of getting shares in companies that make USB and power supply components. You know, ahead of the avalanche of burned out USB ports and supplies...

daqman

You know - there are OTHER things besides beans that would go very well in there...

- warm up a cuppa coffee
- heat up a cuppa soup
- warm up a muffin
- make pretty CD art right at your desk
- mice

That microwave is about the same size as my coffee cup. I think I'd pay good money for a battery powered coffee cup that keeps my coffee at a constant temp all day.

@MacBandit: Much like I produce S-rays.

It looks perfect for a Pizza Pocket! Just one...

Farrell McGovern

@ursa:

Sounds awesome! Where did you find the recipe? I want it.

Jack Schuleman

your office will never smell the same!

Yayyy!! Now while sitting on our asses at our computer, we can make our selves food and get cancer from Microwaves !!

@FrankenPC:

Pork N Beans
Spaghetti-O's
Stew
Mini-nachos (for the ultimate lazy people)
Single mini pizza
Jalapeno Popper

FrankenPC

@PantherShade: Actually, most office administrators outlaw popcorn because the smell is powerful. It takes over an entire floor.

FrankenPC

@Sticks Calhoun: Methane is a very potent greenhouse gas - the beanzwave may do more to raise the earths temp than all the hot air output from Gore.

I'm shedding a few tears, because around Christmas we wont be hearing "Hi, Billy Mays here for the Beansawave! Have you ever wished you could be more flatulent at work, but never thought you'd have the time? Well, now you can fart, fart, fart away with the new Beansawave USB microwave oven!"

Actually, if it were around $25 or less, I'd get one, and I can see a whole new market for itty-bitty microwavable snack cups: Mac-n-cheese, soup, Beef-a-Roni type stuff.

Pretty brilliant, really.

TinaBringMeTheAx

@OMG! Ponies!:

Why would you assume I'm an apple fan. It's MacBandit as in a Scottish name prefix with Bandit on the end.

/s

I so wanna hack this to cook ramen

reluttr

Now I can terrorize and microwave flys and bugs that I catch with my chopsticks at my desk i used to let go outside but now................

kdmc1

@Sticks Calhoun: that would actually be kind of genius - there are almost 24 hours a day when you're not using a microwave, so you might as well be charging it.

Kris Aubuchon

@Act Now and get a 4th Celebrity Death Free!: Lite:

+1000 for OP, read this and LOL'd since I've experienced the same shit from the call center chefs in our office.

ugotworms

Do we really have to have the blog littered with fake viral advertising videos?

OMG! Dreams do come true...

Monte Grubb

@MrSpyder: Nanowave.

misterwho — according to my twitter feed, I'm still alive.

Two words come to mind: Rocket Fuel, and I'm not talking about the stuff they use at the Cape either.

Enuf said!

Nighthawke

@Mrrix32:
Agreed. Also, the fake display (it was fake, right?) makes it look like a child's toy.... Lose that....

brodie7838

@Grendel: Yeah, they're probably too stupad to know you're insulting them. Ha ha.

misterwho — according to my twitter feed, I'm still alive.

@QB8Young: Oh no, it is very pointful. You use the big microwave for turkey and pig and such and you use the little Beanzawave for beans and so on and so forth.

misterwho — according to my twitter feed, I'm still alive.

@92BuickLeSabre: It produces low frequency vibrations.

misterwho — according to my twitter feed, I'm still alive.

@OMG! Ponies!: You're gonna LOVE my nuts, I mean beanz!

@MrSpyder: picowave

@Mactopia: For real.. I wonder what I'm going to do with all this sterno i've been keeping at my desk to heat my beans....

hfm

Give me a coffee cup built to fit in it for warming, and put it on an infomercial with the ShamWOW/SlapChop guy.. you've got yourself a sale!

hfm

@hfm: So eat your beans before they congeal!

psychiccheese

@CaptainHoratioMcCallister: you need the speciality Heinz Breadatoast for that.

psychiccheese

@Grendel: Morans? Like the steakhouse?

@tensai: Maybe it doubles as removable storage for videos of you microwaving your beans.

OR it has a web interface..

hfm

@Karkawry: the more you fart the better you feel

hfm

This would be great for beans, and those soup cups, and re heating coffees and such.

I want one. :)

@Peter Mrozik: You called?

@92BuickLeSabre: Also, is it me? or does this thing have the right size to microwave (beanzawave) a cd/dvd with your porn movies in a jiffy?

Just saying... emergency data destruction....

aec007

@KeyMaestro:
The Brits love their Heinz beans for some reason. The eat the damn things on toast for breakfast with eggs.
[harvey.nu]
[www.associatedcontent.com]

cc82

"Here comes the Fun Cooker!"

settsu

It's the Funcooker!

cc82

@tensai:

I syncs to the co branded Apple product iToot.

Beanzawave food capability wishlist (partial):

Chili
Nacho cheese
Mac-N-Cheese
POS (plain old soup)
Mini-burritos
Single chicken strip
Single White Castle Burger

FrankenPC

@Sticks Calhoun: An excellent question. This offer is for a limited time only. But, if you're one of the next 420 callers, we'll give you this nifty humorous apron too. It says "Cube Jockey". Your co-workers will get such a chuckle.

And you can cook so many things in it. Chili. Beans. Bologna. Oscar Mayer hot-dogs. Ketchup packets. Tunafish sandwiches. Cole slaw. Frosties from Wendy's. Mayonnaise. Three-day old fries. Ruffles Potato Chips.

Everything a growing boy needs.

@Grendel: well, i guess there is still a small segment of early adopters i can make switch over to the next gen stuff.

Nick

@OMG! Ponies!: now Ponies! all that is swell, but i am trying to eat healthy. can the Beanzawave help me stick to my diet?

Nick

@OMG! Ponies!: Is this offer good any time, or do I have to act now!?

@MrSpyder: Funcooker

Who Shot Who in the What Now?

@Act Now and get a 4th Celebrity Death Free!: Lite: I think you're right, it sounds like a USB slowly recharges a battery. When BEANZAWAVING, it draws power from the battery, not the USB.

Make it slightly wider, just enough for a bag of popcorn, and you have a million dollar seller!

@Nick: Not for a decade or so. Only effects Morans now ;)

How much do you have to like beans to justify that purchases??

@Hello Mister Walrus: We may eat so much of it we'll become extinct, but at least our corpses will be well-preserved!

Geeez, this has been posted for over 45 minutes and not a single reference to ponies or crysis. Probably left early for the weekend...

Peter Mrozik

@Act Now and get a 4th Celebrity Death Free!: Lite: You look like quite the gourmet. Can I get your opinion on something?

Which would you rather have: beans, chili, or nachos?

It's a tough decision. That's why I choose all of the above. The Beanzawave can heat up beans, chili, and nachos.

Can I let you in on a little secret? I love eating nacho cheese. I bet you do too. That's why I'm throwing in a booklet of my favorite recipes. For example, heat up some Heinz Refried Beans, some Hormel Beef Chili, and some Cheez-Whiz! Throw in some Doritos and...

BAM! Nachos on the road. And, you can use the lid of your laptop as a tray to spread the nacho love. Ever had Dorito-Nachos? Well, nothing beats Dorito-Nachos fresh out of the Beanzawave!

@Lite: My workplace BANNED popcorn because someone here is "allergic to the fumes." No burnt popcorn around here for nigh on a year now.

BullLifter

@Hello Mister Walrus: well said, though among human achievements I would rank it this way;

1) The Internet
2) Ice
3) Seedless Grapes
4) Space Exploration
5) Printing Press
6) Dentistry
7) Bathrooms where you don't have to touch anything but yourself
8) Beanzawave
9) Popeil Pocket Fisherman
10 Music Theory

@infmom: I`ll do it then...

The more you eat the more you fart!

Karkawry

@Hello Mister Walrus: By now, I bet you're wanting some freshly microwaved beans. But the Beanzawave is for more than just beans.

Know what else can be microwaved? Canned chili. Just take a can of chili, put it in the special Beanzawave container, and zap yourself some chili. It's a real conversation starter.

Obviously, the social implications of the Beanzawave are clear. So why not have yourself a Beanzawave party? If you act now, I'll not only throw in the car adapter; I'll include an extra Beanzawave! That's right! You get two Beanzawaves and a car adapter for one low price.

I know that WWDC just passed. But there's still more conventions, pressers, and meetups in the second half of 2009. Think of the good times you'll have.

We all know that Pogue and Mossy love Apple and Dvorak hates Apple. But they all love beans and chili. Mend fences with the Beanzawave.

And hey! maybe you'll see Steve Jobs at the conference too. Everyone wishes him well but with the Beanzawave, you can do something about it. Imagine the Twitter's reaction to the news story about you, a humble blogger, offering Steve Jobs some hot microwave beans and chili. You'll be the talk of Silicon Valley.

@QB8Young: maybe you should just eat smaller things.

@nutbastard: Maybe it only charges via USB?

@OMG! Ponies!: This would obsolete those iPhone fart apps! You could just bring beans with you everywhere for the real experience!

@ursa: Not around my ofice. People are still way too traditional. They usually use a gasoline soaked rag, and a zippo.

@Nick: speaking of which, am I the only one who thinks hotpockets taste way better from the oven?

@Hello Mister Walrus: more?

Nick

@MacBandit: First you eat the beans- then the beanzwaves come to you.

@OMG! Ponies!: But wait, there's more!

Hello Mister Walrus

@MacBandit: Sir, you look like a Mac fan. How would you like to get the royal treatment next time you stop by the Genius Bar? I know I would.

Impress the Geniuses and that cute girl who needs help with her iPhone. Just take out your MacBook Pro, plug in the Beanzawave, and PRESTO! Beans for everyone!

Trust Ponies on this one: Ladies can't resist microwave beans. It's like catnip to them.

This would never slide past the cube nazis at my office...

MacMasterShane

If they keep the USB side, I'll buy one. If it only runs on batteries, forget it.

@QB8Young: But now, the set-piece: Heinz is selling the proverbial razorblade, not the razor! Heinz will be rolling out a whole new group of mini burritos, frozen micro-snacks, and popcorn mini-packets specifically designed to fit in this thing... So you're gonna be covered, at least until all those products fail and the $.99 Store runs out of the dead stock.

pixelpushing

@nutbastard: i have always been a fan of slow cooking. more savory.

Nick

@OMG! Ponies!:

I sure as %&#! don't want to be on a plane with one of these. Oh, and it has nothing to do with being worried about navigational interference.

@OMG! Ponies!: damn it. what's the phone number to order?! i need this now!!

Nick

@Nick: I'm telling you. With the Beanzawave, you can liven up any presentation, meeting, or other location.

When was the last time you found yourself watching a 200-slide Powerpoint on the quarterly goals for the Southeast with nothing to eat but half a stale donut? Microwave some beans and you'll be the talk of the meeting!

Watching another product demo at CES? How about some hot beans?

Covering a White House press conference? Robert Gibbs will love you if you offer him some piping hot beans!

The Beanzawave is a must-have for road warriors, bloggers, and journos. Order yours now and I'll throw in this car adapter so you can make beans while cruising down the highway!

@tensai:

I'm guessing that it needs the higher power of the batteries to actually work and the USB just charges the batteries.

im pretty amazed - the top end for USB power is 500ma @5v - a scant 2.5 watts.

by comparison, the average microwave oven runs at around 1300 watts.

This might be the first microwave to feature a 6-digit timer display. And i dont mean H/M/S, oh no, it'll display the D/M/Y when your food will be ready.

Perfect, now i can enjoy baked beans anytime of day (as long as I have my laptop)

**two weeks later:

eagles3 hospitalized when his intestines burst explosively out of his butt, doctors site an excess of gas!

seven's just not enough eagles3

@Nick: he forgot to use capslock.

@tensai: When I heard about this before, I thought to myself there is no way that USB can actively power a microwave, even pint size (at 5V @ 500 mA). My guess is that USB trickle charges the battery all day, allowing you to have battery-powered bean warming once every few hours or so - enough to keep the office drones sated with hot beans, one hopes.

ludwigk

@92BuickLeSabre:

How does it produce Beanzawaves?

@webster32:

the star gives us superhuman powers of wankery.

Is it compatible with USB 1.1? I could use this on the old iMac in the basement and make that harsh looking chocolate cake in a mug recipe.

ursa

@Bigbadbikernerd: I've heard that microwave popcorn is a leading cause of office fires. People burn it then dump the still insanely hot bag in the trash bin.

ursa

@OMG! Ponies!: Billy Mays left some pretty big shoes to fill. Are you sure you're up to it?

Nick

@webster32: He just has a gift.

@92BuickLeSabre: haha where do you come up with this stuff?

@tensai: Maybe either USB or batteries alone will not be able to power the sheer awesomeness of this device.

Hello Mister Walrus

I think we're all thinking a little too provincially about this.

Yes, it can be used in the office. But it can be used elsewhere too. That is the power of USB!

Use it at Starbucks and ask other customers if they want some beans. Use it on your next plane trip and offer microwave beans to the flight crew.

And of course, you can take it Liveblogging to the next Apple event and feed microwave beans to Goatberg!

I like this product!

@Act Now and get a 4th Celebrity Death Free!: Lite: I don't think a bag of popcorn will fit in there.

Burning popcorn does smell like shit though...why can't people just follow directions?

@QB8Young: Wow! I guess Heinz should just scrap the whole idea because you won't use it.

if it needs batteries still, whats the point of using additional usb power.

tensai

BiteNuker!

This could possibly be the single greatest invention of mankind, surpassing the printing press, music theory, the internet and space exploration. This calls for celebration, or perhaps the immediate extinction of humans so that we will end at the highest possible point in our civilization.

Hello Mister Walrus

"And having a microwave on your desk? That's living, my friends."

Being the guy in the cubicle NEXT TO the guy microwaving and eating beans at his desk all day? Not so much.

ophmarketing

MUST HAVE THIS PRODUCT

Great, now the fuckers in my office can burn popcorn at their desks instead of in just the break room.

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart........

Heinz beans sell like crazy in the UK. This could be huge there!

LittleJon

Mmmm, Heinz baked beans on toast. All you need with that are some bangers and mash, and you're set for the winter.

CaptainHoratioMcCallister

excellent, now i can take this thing to Texsan Heart Hospital and drum up some more business for 'em. pacemakers still do that funny thing with microwaves, right?

Nick

Pointless as most things I want to microwave are larger then this will hold

Obviously you have completely misunderstood this product.

A beanzawave does not work just like a microwave, otherwise they would have simply called it the Heinz Mini-Microwave.

It clearly heats food through the power of beanzawaves.

And no, please do not ask how it produces the beanzawaves.

Just what we all need: microwave beans to eat throughout the workday.

I'm guessing that Gawker West must smell oh-so-delightful...

Great for the cubicle nomads at work.

Mactopia