Robots

DARPA Stops Trying Not To Be Terrifying, Funds Chainsaw-Wielding, Flesh-Eating Robot

By John Herrman on July 11, 2009 at 2:00 AM

You don’t have to be tinfoil underwear type to get uneasy about some of the bizarre projects that DARPA throws its weight behind. But the organic matter-consuming EATR robot? Oh. God.

The defence research agency has announced they’ll be funding the EATR project—which stands for Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot—which aims to build a lumbering mechanical creature that lives off of flesh, both plant and animal:

EATR is an autonomous robotic platform able to perform long-range, long-endurance military missions without the need for manual or conventional re-fueling. The patent pending robotic system can find, ingest and extract energy from biomass in the environment, as well as use conventional and alternative fuels (such as gasoline, diesel, propane and solar) when suitable.

It’s actually a steam-powered machine, which employs a biomass furnace that can be fed by all manner of organic materials, to be harvested with its “gripper” claw and chainsaw.

The EATR’s ideal source of fuel would probably be foliage, not humans, but there are just too many red flags here. Claws? Chainsaws? “Organic matter” and “biomass” euphemisms? Not to mention this is the second death-powered machine we’ve seen in as many weeks. The project is set to be completed in about 90 days, so enjoy the next three months, folks. [Register via Switched]

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Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)

  • 3DaysTillTheState_GitEmSteveDave
    July 12, 2009 at 12:59 AM
    @Kaiser-Machead: Nothing about me using the term underbritches? Wow, tough crowd.
  • OMG! CoHPhasors
    July 11, 2009 at 9:49 AM
    @spincast:
    I've seen that before too, and only "The Doctor" can stop it.

    A Dalek

  • godwhacker, your incandescent le
    July 11, 2009 at 4:37 AM
    @Pope John Peeps II: don't forget the famous dave's apricot bourbon bbq sauce!!! it makes everything tastier!
  • psiokinetic
    July 11, 2009 at 3:59 AM
    I'd think this would be against the Geneva Convention because it's an anti-personnel weapon, right? Or am I thinking of something completely different?

    psiokinetic

  • Purple Umpteenth
    July 11, 2009 at 3:49 AM
    the sick LADAR sounds pretty amazing. I'm assuming it sat at the cool table in radar school.
  • deliciousburglar
    July 11, 2009 at 3:25 AM
    @spincast: thought that was the Saturn probe.

    deliciousburglar

  • FriarNurgle
    July 11, 2009 at 3:20 AM
    It's basically Wall-e's evil twin with a hint of Screamers. That's super DARPA, thanks a bunch. I'll be in my bunker with my tin foil hat if anyone needs me.
  • Kaiser-Machead
    July 11, 2009 at 3:12 AM
    @Geisrud: She can't be a Snorg Tee model. She doesn't have a perpetual vacant expression of surprise.

    Kaiser-Machead

  • Pope John Peeps II
    July 11, 2009 at 3:11 AM
    Pfft. If I survive when lost in foreign countries by killing and eating the natives, is it too much to expect my robot companion to do so to? The future of war is delicious.
  • Geisrud
    July 11, 2009 at 2:58 AM
    @Kaiser-Machead: she could be one of the snorgtees.com models
  • spincast
    July 11, 2009 at 2:56 AM
    We have seen this before. It's called Death Probe...and only Steve Austin can stop it.

    spincast

  • alexvanduyn
    July 11, 2009 at 2:56 AM
    I have a flesh eating robot at my house, but enough about my daughter!
  • jrghoull
    July 11, 2009 at 2:46 AM
    this tech was mentioned in wired war. fun fact: they seemed entirely open to the idea of these types of machines consuming the dead soliders for power. I don't know about anyone/everyone else, but when something can live directly off plants and meat, i consider it closer to being alive than dead.
  • AmphetamineCrown
    July 11, 2009 at 2:44 AM
    @Log1c:

    Really, a company named SICK? My German is non-existent, so I'll presume this is a translational oddity?

    I'd love to meet their PR person.

    But now I've moved on. I'm presently wondering if the input for "combustibles" should be relabeled "comestibles."

    AmphetamineCrown

  • tenazrael
    July 11, 2009 at 2:42 AM
    @Skeetz: All of a sudden, I'm in the mood for a haircut!

    tenazrael

  • DJ Bushido
    July 11, 2009 at 2:37 AM
    EATeR?! Well at least they have a sinister sense of humor...
  • denryoku
    July 11, 2009 at 2:37 AM
    @denryoku: *in fact geez, I had to mess SOMETHING up I guess.

    denryoku

  • --Core--
    July 11, 2009 at 2:37 AM
    You know I read a very strange Japanese Manga about machines that used flesh as a fuel source.

    I can't recall the name because.. well I read so much stuff, anyways that manga did not have a happy ending at all.

    --Core--

  • denryoku
    July 11, 2009 at 2:36 AM
    This confirms that my recurring nightmare of running from apocalyptic harvester drones is, in fact, prophecy.

    denryoku

  • Log1c
    July 11, 2009 at 2:31 AM
    @AmphetamineCrown: SICK is a german company that builds it. They used a shit ton of em during the DARPA Grand Challenge. LADAR is the military version of LIDAR, which is just Laser Detection and Ranging.
  • SkippyTheMarine
    July 11, 2009 at 2:31 AM
    I have a better idea, Darpa. Why don't you create a reverse scuba suit for a Great White Shark, and attach chainsaws to that. It would probably be a lot cheaper.

    SkippyTheMarine

  • CommentingpointlesslyisMeh
    July 11, 2009 at 2:26 AM
    This will give a new meaning to the concept of "Blue Screen of Death" when this Cyberdy...I mean DARPA machine has an O/S crash. Not a glitch I want to be around for.
  • AmphetamineCrown
    July 11, 2009 at 2:25 AM

    I want to know about the use of "SICK" LADAR. I mean if you are going to bother to put LADAR on the EATR, why not use HEALTHY LADAR?

    Or is this some metal wrangler they hired from Pimp my Ride sayin' "look at that LADAR, man, it's totally SICK."

    AmphetamineCrown

  • Lite: is on a boat.
    July 11, 2009 at 2:23 AM
    @OMG! Ponies!: Unfortunately the name "Dead Reckoning" was already taken by that damn zombie movie that had the Pest in it.
  • ninjajazza
    July 11, 2009 at 2:22 AM
    on the plus side, this would be an excellent anti-zombie robot.

    ninjajazza

  • Skeetz
    July 11, 2009 at 2:22 AM
    There.. now it's the perfect killing machine.

    Skeetz

  • Lite: is on a boat.
    July 11, 2009 at 2:21 AM
    @Kaiser-Machead: I've just cemented steel hedgehogs around the perimeter of my compound to keep the machines at bay. But I worry about its packbot capability.
  • citizen024
    July 11, 2009 at 2:21 AM
    Any mention if this thing will be sentient or poses any kind of processing power that could lead to it. In that case it would be unfavorable indeed.
  • WyldeChef
    July 11, 2009 at 2:21 AM
    where was this little piece of heaven when that guy down there was getting his laptop stolen.. ah sweet revenge
  • Geisrud
    July 11, 2009 at 2:20 AM
    @Kaiser-Machead: Moaybe Motorola had some input on the name?
  • tok3ninja; is the best non-star
    July 11, 2009 at 2:19 AM
    Fight the zombies from your safe room?

    tok3ninja likes this
  • Lite: is on a boat.
    July 11, 2009 at 2:15 AM
    @Sushi, hold the rice.: You know, there are a lot of people on the planet that I think we'd be better off without, but I don't usually refer to them as human poop.
  • Lite: is on a boat.
    July 11, 2009 at 2:11 AM
    I for one welcome our robotic soylent green processing overloards.

    In all seriousness this is just leftover from Bush's War on Zombies campaign.

    I wonder what would happen if they tried to process infectious zombies into Soylent Green.
  • OMG! Ponies!
    July 11, 2009 at 2:10 AM
    @KeepingTheForeName_GitEmSteveDave: Your kid sister is HAWT!
  • Lite: is on a boat.
    July 11, 2009 at 2:09 AM
    @Kaiser-Machead: As do I.
  • Kaiser-Machead
    July 11, 2009 at 2:09 AM
    @KeepingTheForeName_GitEmSteveDave: I approve of the constant use of this picture

    Kaiser-Machead

  • Kaiser-Machead
    July 11, 2009 at 2:08 AM
    EATR? Seems like DARPA's been grabbing ideas off of PIXAR's production chopping block. I for one am not really worried about any of this, and my homemade EMP generator is purely coincidental.

    Kaiser-Machead

  • 3DaysTillTheState_GitEmSteveDave
    July 11, 2009 at 2:08 AM
    While I have a picture of my lovely assistant wearing a Velo-stat hat, sadly I don't have any in velo-stat underwear, which, sorry John, is vastly better than your tinfoil underbritches.
  • Hello Mister Walrus
    July 11, 2009 at 2:07 AM
    Doesn't DARPA know that Steam Punk is out of fashion by now?

    Hello Mister Walrus

  • Open Mailbox
    July 11, 2009 at 2:06 AM
    Run on biomass? Can you say pooper-scooper with autopilot?

    Open Mailbox

  • OMG! Ponies!
    July 11, 2009 at 2:06 AM
    Dear DARPA: We don't steal your ideas so stop stealing our naming convention. Love, MOTOROLA
  • Pew Pew BOOM
    July 11, 2009 at 2:05 AM
    Is this the ultimate zombie killing machine or what.

    Pew Pew BOOM

  • icelight
    July 11, 2009 at 2:02 AM
    I don't see how this could possibly go wrong. Nope, no way at all.

    icelight

  • Jonhy
    July 13, 2009 at 2:08 PM

    All of my nightmares are comming true. I will never accept our new CHAINSAW WIELDING flesh eating robot overloards!!!!!

  • minibeardeath
    July 11, 2009 at 5:17 AM

    does this mean we're one step closer to alcohol feuled robets that belch fire????? *please please please please please*

    minibeardeath

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