Bald Man’s Comb: Style For The Follically-Challenged

@OpenPotion: well thats what freud would say...

Heck, I've got so little hair and I don't care, just give me a polishing cloth. That shine is just a self defense mechanism so that when someone comments on my baldness I can blind them and kick them in the shins.

bustedchain

Also, home of the "hands-free cell mate"... Rly?!

@ding-dang: I am perpetually horrified of this - but on the cusp of biting the bullet.

@TheSonOfKrypton: Yeah, I so cannot pull of that look. As the little girl in Billy Madison said, "Mister, you've got a misshaped head."

benztech55amg

I also shave my head, due to the lack of hair atop it. Thanks to my ex for suggesting it..

@Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen: She is in a much better place for sure man. In addition to all other support I know you gave her, you are definitely a good man to have attempted to bolster her confidence by shaving your head....an act many (wussy) men would absolutely refuse.

Bald MAN? I know of a few verile women who are in dire need of this. I find your commentary sexist and amusing!

@TheSonOfKrypton: One can only hope that she is in a better place. At least she is not in pain and suffering in this life anymore.

Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

@Who Shot Who in the What Now?: Finally, a little bit of class in the comment section.

Sol-Corp

@OMG! Ponies!: Spiders should be able to help you with that issue as well.

@CurvesWantsOptionalExtendedViewBack...: So a man with a shaved head is actually a phallic circumcised scalp?

@Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen: Sorry to hear that man. Hope your wife is now doing *much* better.

@Ubik2501: Charge them for rubbing it dude. Seriously. Take note of what Curves *originally* said: They practically get off on it with their perverted selves....Might as well make a quick buck...

If hair is so lacking that this comb quickly covers the sides... it is time for the bic razor. They need a combover comb... something that moves over a dome path side to side...

@OMG! Ponies!: Alrighty-then...

This comb can be useful if you like to groom the hair above the ears more than the rest of your hair.

@OMG! Ponies!: Sir, I am aware that this statement is applicable to you, but I must inquire as to what precisely is my current state of being?

Say what you want but not all of us have nice looking domes. I shaved my head one and my head looked like Lord Vader's when they pulled his helmet off.

ding-dang

@stlbud: Bill B? I, too, am Bill B.

@Who Shot Who in the What Now?:

While we are on the subject of personal grooming, I find it necessary to address the subject of your sister's hindquarters.

While I understand that most women are not fond of having their buttocks described, and certainly not given the appellation "hindquarters" (being a term more often used in conjunction with livestock), it is generally known in the community that your sister's hindquarters a covered with a thick layer of extraordinarily coarse hair, not unlike that found on the genitals of a mature adult silverback gorilla.

This condition is so pronounced that there is presently a press release published in the latest issue of Men's Health Magazine, which prominently features her hindquarters as proof positive of the successful results that can be by using Bosley-branded hair-replacement treatment. The accompanying text states that this hair is humanlike and virtually indistinguishable from that found on a man's scalp.

I bring this to your attention in the hopes that you will alert her of this fact and I hope that she is being adequately compensated. I know that your family lives quite shabbily to the point that it is conjectured that you cannot even afford holes in the bottom of your chosen footwear.

I thank you for your time and remain

Faithfully yours,

OMG! Ponies!

P.S.: Please extend my most heartfelt felicitations to your mother and congratulate her on my behalf in her victory in the most recent World's Greatest Beard competition. Again she proves that even the most virile Teutonic and Nordic men cannot hope to end her now decade-long reign as champion in that contest.

@Kayno: Its your rampant maleness seeping all over the place. Seriously, go get a towel.

@all: archaic hand gesture with flourish

Nick

@Who Shot Who in the What Now?: To Whom it May Concern:
It has recently come to our attention that one or more of your female siblings regularly engages in activities that most would consider indecorous. Moreover, these activities reflect poorly on both the fitness of your parents to adequately govern their progeny, and your own attendance to your responsibilities to defend her/their honour.

Additionally, we feel the need to inform you that your personal choices of habiliment and accoutrement step beyond what those in contemporary society would refer to as "in good taste", and can only conclude that this is a further deficiency on the part of one or both of your parents to provide for a family in this day and age.

We hope that this letter finds you well, and remain steadfastly yours,

The offices of Herrod, Smythe and Krumpett, et. al.

Some of us have outgrown the need for hair.

Bill B.

stlbud

@CurvesWantsOptionalExtendedViewBack...:

oooh oooh I have a shaved head! Get alot of chicks! tell me why!! tell me why!!

Kayno

@CurvesWantsOptionalExtendedViewBack...: I started shaving my head at age 22 since I started going bald right around then, and I've stuck with it ever since. Easiest haircut in the world, looks better than any other haircut I've had, and I can confirm that the ladies do indeed love it. But you definitely have to have a properly shaped head for it.

However, there's a caveat: Once you start shaving your head, people rubbing it will instantaneously become your new kryptonite.

@Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen: My condolences.

@sexyrobot: 10-4

@Who Shot Who in the What Now?: Whatever you do, just don't shoot them in the dick, we are not a country of dick shooters!!

@Who Shot Who in the What Now?:

@Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen: My condolences on your wife. I think you shaving your head with her speaks volumes about you. I am truly touched.

@Who Shot Who in the What Now?:

Your sister is endowed with a most putrescent odor which emanates without end from her hindquarters, an affliction which can be easily rectified by employing proper hygienic techniques, however, she omits to endeavor in such practices entirely, being wholly unaware of her own state of filth, due to a severe lack of mental and cognitive capacity.

@CurvesWantsOptionalExtendedViewBack...: I shaved my head just before my late wife started having Chemo. I never looked back. I was a Hair Club For Men customer for over ten years. Saved a ton of money since dropping them, and love the look.

Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

@Who Shot Who in the What Now?:

Your maternal grandmother suffers from excessive perspiration to such a degree that when, during the summer months, when the ambient temperature in the sunshine exceeds the regional average, the Governor of the State in which she domiciles puts into place the necessary measures to enlist the aid of the National Guard and the Unites States Army Corps of Engineers to erect a levee system around her perimeter.

@mikeness: Couple decades? I'm pretty sure the 'fro pick left in the hair is back in style.

@CurvesWantsOptionalExtendedViewBack...: you have given me hope. bless you, for that.

Nick

@OMG! Ponies!: that, sir, is why i keep a small monkey with me.

Nick

@Who Shot Who in the What Now?: lmao. You write like an English major. Not like that's a bad thing.

@mikeness: decades ago? i have a black friend, now, with half the cosmetics department in his hair.

Nick

@Curves: Hahahahaha. I think it depends tho Curves. I'm 25 and shave my head, but everytime I get complimented on it, I also always get the added comment: "You have the head for it". I've been told I have an 'athletes head' so I guess that's a look that has to go with it. I dont think shaved heads would look good on guys with oddly shaped craniums. That, and I try and physically stay in shape, so I think that helps. But yea, Ive heard that same sentiment you expressed from enough females for me to seriously wonder WHY the hell some guys live with peach fuzz on their heads instead of shaving it all off. Way too self consicous...

@Hello Mister Walrus: LOL

Jesus_Jones

@CurvesWantsOptionalExtendedViewBack...: As a man who is genetically predisposed to never going bald, I find this somewhat disconcerting. When will us perma-haired guys get a break???

Kaiser-Machead

@Curves: What a coincidence. Guys like women with shaved... um never mind.

Hello Mister Walrus

Since we have addressed your alopecia with good-natured jibes, let us now move on to the subject of your portliness. You, sir are possessed of such corpulence that when you take respite about your abode, you do, in fact, take respite about your abode.

Who Shot Who in the What Now?

@CurvesWantsOptionalExtendedViewBack...: btw, don't think that wanting an extended back view isn't perverted as well.

NurseDave

@CurvesWantsOptionalExtendedViewBack...: oh why must you lie. WHEN I go bald I shall do the only decent thing and remove my head completely

Jesus_Jones

So, I'm pretty sure this would work with really long ear hair as well.

NurseDave

@CurvesWantsOptionalExtendedViewBack...:

Homer: Explain.

klaybc

@CurvesWantsOptionalExtendedViewBack...: You go girl!

NurseDave

Guys with shaved heads are very sexy. Dont ask me to explain why, its perverted, and we ladies dont like to let you think we are freaks.

*over*

sexyrobot

that looks like it's for combing it back. everyone knows it's supposed to be

sexyrobot

...but why not use a regular comb? Oh, i see, it's a joke... i see what you did there...

paragraph

Can it be used to help me get rid of my crab lice?

@mikeness: Sounds like a pretty safe bet.

this should help with my manscaping.

Nick

that would be an awesome curtain-beard comb.

It's missing one dead in the center top. But seriously if I ever got to that situation I would shave it all off. better looking like a cueball than a bald eagle.

If I'm partially bald, black and from a couple decades ago do I leave this in my hair?