Add To Our List Of 8 Comically Enormous Retro Gadgets
We pointed out why gadgets were more expensive 30 years ago, but it is also important to note that many of these gadgets were hilariously huge. I’ve collected eight examples, I’ll leave it up to you to add the rest.
In the ’70s and early ’80s, it was trendy to offset tiny, crappy screens with enormous and ornate wooden consoles. My family had one of these when I was a kid—looking back on it, I understand why my father chose to put it on the lowest level of our house. It would have seriously compromised the structural integrity of any floor it was sitting on. [TV History]
This is what passed for a widescreen television in 1978. However, the GE Widescreen 1000 really wasn’t widescreen at all. In reality this absurdly huge cabinet housed a small CRT screen that used “a vertical deflection reversing switch to invert and laterally reverse the image, and a three element lens within a light-proof projection chamber to re-invert, magnify and project the image onto a forward projection type reflective screen.” In other words, the image was artificially enlarged through projection. Oh, and that beastly monstrosity sitting next to it is an early VHS recorder. Back in the day, video players like this one could weigh 13kg or more. [Flickr and RetroThing]
Surely you are familiar with the DynaTAC 8000X—the first commercially available mobile phone. Seriously, is Dr Martin Cooper making a call to his wife or calling in an air strike? [Puremobile]
The Walkman portable cassette player made its debut in 1979, but if you wanted a more feature rich portable player, you risked a dislocated shoulder picking up one of these ghetto blasters. ['80s Rewind]
Today we have camcorders built into our tiny mobile phones. In the ’70s and early ’80s you had to deal with beasts like the Sony SL-F1 Betamax camera. Before the advent of the Betamovie BMC-100P personal camcorder in 1983, the camera and the portable recorder were not integrated into a single unit. [Wikipedia]
The JVC HR-4100 was the first ever “portable” VHS recorder, but this woman appears to be in over her head. This is definitely a “team lift” situation. [Rewind Museum]
We bitch about gas guzzling SUV’s now, but get a load of this ‘73 Thunderbird. Seriously, there is enough metal between the cabin and the grill to take on a locomotive. [Corral.net]
Microwaves in the ’70s were big enough to crawl into. According to the owner, this particular model weighed around 36kg. [Forty Two]
Bonus: Glasses are not really a gadget, but honestly, what the hell was going on in the ’70s? I have to admit though, Wonder Woman still looks great with those telescopes attached to her face. Anyway, thank God for contacts and Lasik. [Blurbomat]
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Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)
"In other words, the image was artificially enlarged through projection."
So, same as a number of TVs made within the past few years then?
MauriceCallidice
@BoardShortin'_GitEmSteveDave: Don't we call them Netbooks now?
Jake712
@MisterSleep:
i for one don't care, she pulls them off.
deliciousburglar
@BloggyMcBlogBlog: And here I thought my relatives were the only ones. Thank God.
I don't find anything especially funny about Lynda Carter's bazooms.
Oh, I see now. Glasses. Ha. Hahaha. Oops.
@edison234footWaveDude:
I guess i can't get the full photo to display so here is the link:
http://oldcomputers.net/heathkit-h89.html
edison234footWaveDude
@Taurus_McGee: Actually let me just warn you. For everything your girlfriend does that you are convinced no man likes, some man does. For example, I find oversized sunglasses quite zexy.
It's your call, but one of these days you may just find yourself in a conversation with the sentence "We met when he complimented me on my oversized sunglasses and my empire-waisted sundress that you're always complaining about."
I had a 1977 TBird when I turned 16 (early 90) and it got around 10mpg and the tank was 28 gallons or something like that. Extremely safe car simply because if you hit something from the 90's it was toast.
One funny thing about the size (not only the back seat was suitable for ahh you know) is that is was actually LONGER than my friends 1986 Ford Wagon!
The 73 above was also the car TBird drove in The Crow.
enormous GADGETS .. then i saw the wonder woman and was Wondering(sic!) where the enormous went. little did i realize it was the glasses.. he..he.. he..
@MooseDesign: I guess the Heathkit H89 is solar powered.
edison234footWaveDude
@Die Fledermaus:
@MooseDesign: Looks like she is carrying a sewing machine into the afterlife.
edison234footWaveDude
@Die Fledermaus: lets see if I can add the image now? Yes that says 200 MB of storage.
Have a hotpoint microwave from the early 80's, that's STILL working! The bigger size allows for heating up things in casserole pans and such :D
compuguy1088
folks how our hard drive technology has changed does anyone remember disk packs?
@Snapper: I'm guessing this is exactly what I was talking about. Sorry I missed your comment!
@92BuickLeSabre: That sounds right... early 80s, if I recall correctly.
Until about 1998 (really!), my family had an enormous microwave siimilar to that one, the only difference being mine had *analog* controls. As in, there was a dial with physical gears on it to set the time...the only button on this thing was the big silver one that opened the door.
@92BuickLeSabre: That seems about right... I wrote a 7th grade (1984) paper on something quite similar to this (one disc drive and a bigger screen) that my Dad used at his office. The *new* beauty of the portable... he brought it home to let me write a paper!
Burgundy Corningstone
@MooseDesign: Looks like a sewing machine.
Bigger is better... unless it can be shrunk. I just confused myself.
@Taurus_McGee: Hear, hear!
Weiman
@Purple Monkey Dishwasher: Arguably even more awesome.
Although let's be fair, the '92 is no Mini Cooper either.
Feels like driving a boat - in a good way.
@Ron-Mexico: I had completely forgotten about that. Nice work.
@MooseDesign: I remember my brother bringing a similarly-styled Compaq home from college. Would've been something like '83-84?
"Spicoli Knockoff" ;-) @HAZman27:
World iS Mi iPhone!!
FTW! I hate those damn "Bug-Eye" glasses!! Not attactive at all, they hide most girls' entire faces!@Taurus_McGee:
World iS Mi iPhone!!
Absolutely!! and when the dual slots were available you could dub with ONE unit, That was the bees knees!!!@Bigbadbikernerd:
World iS Mi iPhone!!
Nothing like ripping out the old console speakers and using them in the back seat of your ride in High School!! (I'm old)
World iS Mi iPhone!!
I remember the Boom Box "era" I had a "Sampo" brand one that I hooked a guitar strap to and mounted to my handlbars on my Redline BMX. 80's ruled!
World iS Mi iPhone!!
@Barry99705:
you are not the only one, working for a company who prides itself on "new tech" we still have this BEAST of a microwave in the lunch room. honestly i wont use it. i think it might explode.
Dabogimp
If the 80's have taught us anything, it is that one should never use a Betamax video camera to spy on aliens:
atlasfugged
atlasfugged
@Purple Monkey Dishwasher: Matlock!!!!!
Yeah, bad example with Linda Carter there. She's smoking hot in anything. Especially a sexy librarian outfit.
I think that's a second-generation moblie phone. In Lethal Weapon 1, Mel Gibson pulls out one of the briefcase models, complete with wired receiver.
ShefaliCastor
Is the boombox being carried by a feminine man with a purse, or a horribly ugly woman?
HAZman27
@Bigbadbikernerd: omg! I used to do that too back in the day!
Stephanie Khuu
@MooseDesign: Better image of the actual product...
Ahhh... The advent of portable computing brought us the Osborne which would be more at home in a 24 hour Fitness now. I bought one of these at a thrift store and foolishly sold it to a programmer buddy. I think 64k stood for kilos in this case.
"Put away your buggy whips!"
@Purple Monkey Dishwasher: Ah yes, the Cataract Blast-Shields. Good for after eye surgery and nuclear apocalypse.
@92BuickLeSabre: I was coming to say that oversized glasses still make people look like Bozo the clown
asten77
@BloggyMcBlogBlog:A relative of mine put their new TV on top of their old broken console unit. It was like that the entire time I was growing up.
Snapper
Dude, I swear we have a very similar microwave in the office break room!!!
@BoardShortin'_GitEmSteveDave: no, but i'm pretty sure if they did, they're providing uv protection to their cheeks, jaws, and possibly necks also.
@Purple Monkey Dishwasher: G.O.G.G.'s - Glasses Over Glasses Glasses!
@Ron-Mexico: Yeah...we used to rent another VCR with our tapes so we could dub them off on a blank tape. Even before the Pirate Bay!
Random Access Remote Control? Is that like shuffling through my channels? Ooh that makes channel surfing for Golden Girls even more funnerer.
Magic Beans? Sure, I'll Buy Some!!
LOL my grandmother had one of the TV (# 2), until like 95.
cartagenero
@BoardShortin'_GitEmSteveDave: They have those old people glasses for that though
Purple Monkey Dishwasher
Re: Linda carter's glasses. Have you seen the stupidly huge sunglasses women wear in 2009?
oh yeah this is still around...
Have you not seen the current trend in hideously large sunglasses that make sorority girls look like they have shrunken doll heads?
SecretAZNMan
Is that a chick carrying the ghetto blaster? I thought it was a dude, but then I saw the purse. Then I noticed the lack of cleavage and now I'm just confused.
I know...it's Pat!
smegz
@92BuickLeSabre: How about the oversized 79BuickLeSabre
Purple Monkey Dishwasher
Oh, it's the sunglasses in 10 that are the enormous object. I need to clean up my mind.
PaddyDugan
@jfj: The remote only works randomly.
@Purple Monkey Dishwasher: Do they even provide protection from the sides from UVA/B?
@Ron-Mexico: I have no photos, but using a Army pistol belt, I used to carry my B&W G3 Yosemite back and forth to work the same way everyday.
The great thing about console TV's is that when the TV dies, you can use the old TV as a stand for your new TV.
BloggyMcBlogBlog
@Taurus_McGee: You should give up while you still have the girlfriend. Fashion isn't about guys it's just a huge competition between the girls.
Skeetz
@Taurus_McGee: i like 'em. but they can be misleading.
Big-ass alarm clock!
JackTheTripper
Lets not forget our "tiny" tape player, aka reel to reel.
Bertone Zero77
@jfj: That meant you could actually directly choose the channel you wanted, rather than rotate through them in numerical order.
Ozyman666
@jfj:
In the sixties my grandmother had an early remote control TV, 4 buttons, power toggle, volume, channel, and hue. If you wanted to change from channel 4 to 3 you had to go 5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-2-3, when remote controls came out where you could actually bang in the direct channel numbers (i.e. random access) it was a big deal
bytepusher
@Taurus_McGee: It's just one of those things that looks ridiculous like Ugz and Crocs that will die off as quickly as it emerged because it's 'newness' has worn off.
Purple Monkey Dishwasher
This reminds moe of my 40" Sony Trinitron
Thing weighs a ton.
I remember when you used to not only rent the VHS movies, but the actual PLAYER to play them (soft of like in pic 6.) Good times.
@Purple Monkey Dishwasher:My 20 yr old daughter bought some of those for my wife's b-day. She said they were called " stunnas" no r.
TerryinSt.Paul
Well then i've been away a bit haven't i nice post system. Still cant see pics but i cant work with out a Giz break eh eh amiright
Ha, that JVC is tiny at one point in the late seventies I was working in TV production and the company won the contract to do production of a Billy Graham crusade from somewhere, in addition to the remote truck and dolly cameras we also had a crew doing "christian in the street" interviews, kind of early ENG, the crew was 5 people, the OC talent, the cameraman, the sound man and one guy (me) carrying an Ampex 2" VTR machine on his back and a second guy to carry nothing but the battery packs for the camera an the VTR.
bytepusher
Is that Joaquin Phoenix in the Boombox picture?
COCOViper
@Purple Monkey Dishwasher: No kidding - I tease my girlfriend and every other woman I know that wears oversized sunglasses about how ridiculous they look. I tell her that NO MAN likes them - and she kind of acts like, "well, tough".
Sorry ladies, but on behalf of every straight guy, even the ones with no fashion sense, we all HATE your big sunglasses. If they cover up any portion of your forehead, they're too big.
Taurus_McGee
From Judah Friedlander to Victoria Beckham, over-sized glasses still rock.
LED Calculator, huge!
Bertone Zero77
WTF is 'random access remote control'?
jfj
I have always maintained that if someone used the ol' Zak Morris Brick Phone body, you could fit a 8MP camera, 64GB of memory, a 3 week battery, a flip out keyboard, and a screen like an iPhone. Plus, you couldn't use it, and it's just old enough to be trendy again. Especially if SBTB has a reunion show.
I still spot women stuck in the 70's and wearing those ridiculous glasses sometimes.
Actually, come to think of it, sunglasses women are wearing nowadays are no different.
Purple Monkey Dishwasher
coincidentally enough, linda carter was a spokesperson for contact lenses haha
thisisboom
It's unfortunately a common misunderstanding that Dr. Martin Cooper invented the mobile phone.
The first fully automatic mobile phone system, called MTA (Mobile Telephone system A), was developed by Ericsson and commercially released in Sweden in 1956.
Dr. Cooper did invent the first "practical" hand-held device using cell technology. That was in 1973.
mno.net
You need to find a picture of the Magnavox color TV entertainment combo, 7 feet long. Mediterranean cabinet was over 700 pounds.
We needed 4 men to get one loaded to take to the shop... and we DROPPED it, but my leg minimized the ground impact, only MY leg was hurt. Once we replaced the CRT future calls that couldn't be worked in home resulted in removing the TV chassis and taking that to the shop.
The model was a LEMON hybrid tube and transistor set with the tubes mounted on a circuit board which constantly broke solder connections due to heating and cooling.
I think its funny that those giant glasses are all the rage with the hipster crowd these days. I've even seen a girl walking around the local liquor store with the big frames and no lenses.
HeavyMellow
@Die Fledermaus: Wish you had a scalebar on this monstrosity.
@LambertKinza: That person with the Ghetto Blaster is a DUDE!!
Here we go:
8-inch floppy disk.
@92BuickLeSabre: You must like girls with ugly faces that need covered.
Actually like all fashion trends this started with hung over celeb women who loved these big sunglasses to help hide there overdosed faces from the cameras. So the function of these sunglasses is just to hide behind. But now the girls think their trendy.
What are you talking about with the glasses? If you just tint them and make them cheap plastic they will look like the current trend of sunglasses every woman is wearing today. Both are dumb.
@MisterSleep: Since the new comment thing has issues with us normal peoples posts etc racism i say that old tv that flipped the forklift over my grandma has one of those o rhad up until a few years ago then she got a 52 inch HD i know its ironicish
zsakul2
My grandmother's still using a TV like the 1st picture.. the color and sound suck, and she still won't buy an HDTV even though they're getting really cheap.
She was also seriously considering using her current huge TV as a stand for an HDTV >.
Wonder Woman could wear a blue garbage bag for all I care, and still would look yummy.
yogibimbi
I guess I should be embarrassed that I have a 50 inch 1974 mitsubishi front projection screen tv still running in my house. It won't die and now it has a second life running down graded HD video
My friend Risa had one of these RCA front projection monsters in her basement. I'm pretty sure the only movies we could get to play on it were Star Wars on Laserdisc (not that we were complaining).
jeffbr
OG Xbox?
@Dabogimp: Why does that comment say "Edited by 92BuickLeSabre"?
@92BuickLeSabre: You sir, are not a man....seriously, those glasses are hideous.
Darkest Daze
funny thing about Pic #8. The CAR looks like it is longer than the later model TRUCK its parked next too. That cant be right can it?
and thanks for dropping in a pic of Linda C. Any excuse to check out that timeless hotness is a good one
justsomereportingguy
Why is Mr. Hand holding a beige brick to his ear?
My mom's portable computer. Kaypro II. SWEET!!
jeffk
This the Akai reel-to-reel that my dad let us listen to the star wars soundtrack on.
Elvisisdead
LOL! When I read "Enormous Retro Gadgets" and saw the picture of Linda Carter (aka Wonder Woman) I thought... well, you know what I thought. Yeowza!!
nitejrny282
@bytepusher: I think... I think I saw a period in there... wait, no... that was just another comma splice. Wait, there's one! At the end of the comment! Hooray, the world is saved!
@Die Fledermaus: Is that what was used in those "disk washing machines" that I oh-so-often see in the datacenters of retro movies involving computers? You know, those rows of machines that look like they're doing laundry, but, not?
That T-Bird was soo cool. There was another model of this same chassis. I don't recall the name, it was in a TV show all red with white stripes.
the sound went out on my parents old console TV so my dad put a TV that had no image on top of that console one !!!
gdgtgk
Old pic of my living room...
Jordan Lund
looks like Google stole some chin design cues from Dr. Cooper there.
My father has three of those wood cabinet sets, one of which I forced him to replace (was bought used in the 70's and was still working) with my 32" Samsung tube tv when I stopped watching TV. I always wanted to take out the ube and put an LCD screen in the cabinet.
@qbrad: With one SWEEET mullet.
@MooseDesign: That was my first computer! 40 column screen. To see the other half of the 80 columns was some spastic key stroke. Wooping 64k disk drives!
geschmidtt
The funny thing is, that chick was still INCREDIBLY hot...even by today' standards.
LambertKinza
@Bertone Zero77: That's what she said...