Party-Pooping FDA Says Palm Pistol Definitely Not a ‘Medical Device’

Yesterday the inventor of the Palm Pistol, intended primarily to allow arthritic old people to settle beefs, claimed it had been approved as a medical gadget by the FDA. On the matter, the FDA had this to say: “NO.”

The FDA issued a statement to say that they have determined that the Palm Pistol “is not a medical device.” Although the inventor thought the successful registration of his company as a medical device facility constituted an FDA approval of his gun for the olds, the fine print says otherwise:

Registering … does not, in any way, constitute FDA approval of your facility or your devices

The maker of the geriatric zip gun, Matthew Carmel of Constitution Arms, has a theory, saying he “would assume it’s due to political pressure.” It would have all been for naught anyway, according to a spokesperson for Medicare:

Medicare will not cover it because there is no approved category for weapons, so it would not be viewed as reasonable and necessary.”

Now, this news doesn’t mean that the Palm Pistol will be barred from sale at all, just that it won’t be available through a prescription or Medicare. Sorry, Gran. [AP—Thanks, Jimmy]