Evil Foot Massage Machine Kills Three People

The rise of the machines is happening already: Three people were killed in Japan by an evil foot massage machine. Or maybe the machine wasn’t that evil and the people were just thick.

Actually, the foot massage machine wasn’t evil at all. Maybe a little bad tempered and with some personal interrelation issues, but it was just doing its job when these three individuals tried to use it to massage their neck and shoulders. The most recent death occurred when a woman strangled herself when her shirt collar was trapped in the machine’s rollers. The other two happened in a similar way, so the company issued a statement on TV saying what is obvious: “Don’t use the damn foot massage machine on your neck, please.” [Japan Probe]