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Opinion: In-Flight Wi-Fi Is a Bad, Bad Thing
Posted by Mark Wilson at 7:30 AM on November 25, 2008
Hey dufus, put your hands down. Why are you celebrating all of this aeroplane Wi-Fi internet access? Oh, right. Now I remember. You're my boss. And now I must do your bidding from anywhere in the world at any time. Thanks a lot, airlines! I'll never be able to dodge work again.
I love the internet as much as the next guy. Be it news, emails, or just videos of some dog lipsyncing to Thriller, I can't get enough. And there's nobody—and I mean nobody—who reaches for his smartphone faster when the plane lands to thwart his cold sweats and shaky hands than me. But while we may have felt oppressed without access to internet from 30,000 feet, we're far worse off with it.
I want you to look back for a moment all the way to high school. Remember that one time you left, say, your math book in your locker the night before the test? It was too late to return; the school was locked. So all you could do was sit back that evening, watch some reruns on television and await your inevitable sub par performance without guilt. And isn't that what life is really all about?
Without mobile Wi-Fi, flights are one of the few socially acceptable circumstances of procrastination. It's not your fault that the spreadsheet isn't done or that you didn't get back to that client, friend or family member. You were in the air! You were helpless! All you could do was...hang out...and maybe read some sort of Oprah-approved, paper-bound manuscript.
And in case anyone here forgot, we can still get work done without the internet. There is, after all, a use for laptops that aren't connected to the world's information. But the beauty of this work is two-fold: One, without access to extended materials, most of what can be accomplished is limited to, dare I say, reasonable levels. Two, without access to communications like email impeding actual work, most of what can be accomplished will be far more productive.
So sure, with internet access coming to planes, the business world may benefit from an extended level of communication. Some merger may go through, or it may not. Some presentation may have more polish, or the presenter might just be more tired because of it. But since when did I sign up to fly in a cramped office with a bunch of people taking life too seriously? It may be called "business class," but we all know what it's really meant for: Drinking.
Besides, I'm more than happy to give up the prospect of in-flight porn if it means you do too.
P.S. Brian, I'm not sorry for calling you a dufus. But I am sorry that those devil horns look more like cat ears—not that it's necessarily a bad look for you.

Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Fogbert
Posted 9:08 AM 25/11/08
In-flight Wifi won't be a work issue for me, as I doubt my company would be willing to routinely pay for the connect charges. On a long flight, if the price were right, I'd spring for it myself just for the distraction.
In any event, since I'm mostly flying for work, mostly during work hours, my company thinks I should be getting work done. And I (mostly) do.
Fogbert
Kev50027
Posted 9:08 AM 25/11/08
This picture scares me. Seriously, not to be mean, but either shave or change your hair.. something is just.. wrong. Your face scares me. I'm sorry, it just does!
Kev50027
broho
Posted 9:06 AM 25/11/08
Can Giz explain why I have to turn off my ipod during take-off and landing but they can have XM radio and wifi signals pumping through the cabin without a care in the world?
broho
SJRNWT
Posted 9:01 AM 25/11/08
Meh, I'd still love to have wi-fi on a plane. 5.1 surround sound headphones = I can't hear you talking on Skype = me happy and productive.
It also means I can pick and choose what movies I want to see, instead of seeing garbage airline movies.
SJRNWT
quayzar
Posted 9:00 AM 25/11/08
I would give the old "air sickness" excuse. No one wants to have someone get sick on the plane and who would know if you got sick or not... Well they might know if you accidentally played the same game as your boss. As someone that takes a bus with wifi I can tell you I still would rather read on it than be on the internet the whole time... but that's a bus too.
I mixed on the issue.
quayzar
bohn002
Posted 8:54 AM 25/11/08
@lostarchitect: and get off my lawn
bohn002
EBone
Posted 8:52 AM 25/11/08
I hate to fly, and I draw the line at trying to work on an airplane. If my company expects me to fly somewhere for work, then the flight itself is work enough. I'm going to do my damnedest to try and relax and get from point A to B, and that's it.
EBone
iPhoneGroupie
Posted 8:51 AM 25/11/08
Its not the people working on the plane that will bother me. its the people using skype or some other mobile phone app that will kill me on flights.
iPhoneGroupie
Chromeo
Posted 8:46 AM 25/11/08
Brian was born a Mii...Mark, born an NXE Avatar.
They were destined to become sworn enemies eons ago.
Chromeo
.Trenchant.
Posted 8:45 AM 25/11/08
Meow
.Trenchant.
please delete me
Posted 8:45 AM 25/11/08
please delete my account
please delete me
MrBlahBlah
Posted 8:45 AM 25/11/08
"P.S. Brian, I'm not sorry for calling you a dufus"
ahhh yes, the old CYA :)
MrBlahBlah
GTgeek
Posted 8:45 AM 25/11/08
I don't see the problem really. You can always just go to sleep. You can't be forced to work when you are taking a morning flight on a business trip...or at least that's how I feel. I'm sure some people will feel the need to work on the plane though, which is sad.
GTgeek
lostarchitect
Posted 8:43 AM 25/11/08
i'm tired of it in general. when my contract is up on my iphone this summer i'm not renewing. i'm getting vonage at home, and piss off if you want to text me about work. if work wants me to have a cell, they can buy me one.
lostarchitect
Jrsy is back to being the dude, playing the dude disguised as an
Posted 8:43 AM 25/11/08
I'm glad I don't have to fly much for work...
Jrsy is back to being the dude, playing the dude disguised as another dude
Morberis
Posted 8:42 AM 25/11/08
Business is all about the drinking, how do you think people who work all the time get through their days? Drinking of course!
Morberis
jayhawk11
Posted 8:38 AM 25/11/08
@Mark 2000: If you read Brian's article, Virgin America has power plugs even in coach. One of the few that does that.
jayhawk11
basicvisual
Posted 8:36 AM 25/11/08
"Folks we are experiencing some WiFi enduced turbulence. Please remain seated and enjoy the ride."
basicvisual
Mark 2000
Posted 8:35 AM 25/11/08
Isn't there a bottle neck on your battery? I've never been on a flight where you can plug in. I mean, I know you can, but not in the class I fly.
Mark 2000
remps
Posted 8:35 AM 25/11/08
Agreed... in flight wi-fi is a horrible thing. I'm a former crackberry addict, a current iphone addict, I think I "need" internet to get anything done, and flights are my only time to catch up on reading/personal stuff/sleep.
Is it my fault I can't disconnect on the ground? Yes. But at least I had a sure-fire way before to read a book. Now, its gone.
remps
Metkis
Posted 8:34 AM 25/11/08
No one said that the Wifi couldn't be 'inexplicably be down' on your ride.
Metkis
jayhawk11
Posted 8:32 AM 25/11/08
He still looks like a Mii in this picture.
jayhawk11
darex
Posted 9:27 AM 25/11/08
I think in-flight Rosetta Stone is a bad thing. No es bueno!
darex
Hardcore1
Posted 9:26 AM 25/11/08
He looks like he just got caught George Michael style.
Hardcore1
lostarchitect
Posted 9:23 AM 25/11/08
@bohn002: EXACTLY. and i'm keeping this damn ball.
lostarchitect
AJ_Syrinx
Posted 9:19 AM 25/11/08
@Mr-Mr: LMFAO!! Never thought of it that way but yes, I can see some Steve Perry there.
AJ_Syrinx
ypctx
Posted 9:19 AM 25/11/08
"Enough is enough! I have had it with these mother*ucking wifis on this mother*ucking plane!" After everybody gets prepared, Flynn shoots out two windows with a pistol, causing the plane to depressurize. The wifis are thus removed from the cockpit and the lower floor of the plane.
ypctx
Lokiprimary
Posted 9:19 AM 25/11/08
@broho: because those signals have been tested and approved by the FAA. They have not tested all phones and mobile devices to see if they will interfere with the airplanes avionics. That being said will your phone or ipod interfere with the aircraft, Most likely not, but they are following the better safe than sorry Moto since they can not possibly test all gadgets.
Lokiprimary
Mr-Mr
Posted 9:18 AM 25/11/08
I initially thought this was Steve Perry. lol ...
Mr-Mr
avi.weiss
Posted 9:15 AM 25/11/08
I guess its a very sorry day when professional "technology enthusiasts" make arguments to have LESS access to modern day technologies than more.
But whats worse is the argument is one based on some combination of "addiction control" and fatalistic-based "justification of non-performance" rather than something meaningful like "low bandwidth" or "significantly reduced quality-of-life".
Mark, feel free to not use the airborne WiFi and mumble lies to yourself and Brian that "the router was down over ohio" or some nonesuch to justify your disuse, but please don't piss in everyone else's corn-flakes about finally bringing internet access to one of the few remaining areas that can really use it.
-avi
avi.weiss
liku
Posted 9:13 AM 25/11/08
Don't deprive me of convenience just because you don't have enough self control to turn off your blackberry for a couple hours.
liku
os_2
Posted 9:11 AM 25/11/08
I flight a lot and welcome this new service on the plane, especially for those coast to coast flights. I rather have ppl typing away on their keyboard instead of yapping about something meaningless in their life I don't want to hear about.
os_2
I work as a meth lab technician
Posted 9:46 AM 25/11/08
Dogs lip-syncing to Thriller? You need to change your metaphors.
I work as a meth lab technician
Benjammn
Posted 9:45 AM 25/11/08
Do employers honestly expect their workers to be working all the time like that? That is just wrong I think...
Anyway, I would definitely by this for any flight above 3-4 hours. It is mainly because I can't really sleep in moving vehicles, and I get bored. :D
Benjammn
RE-L
Posted 9:39 AM 25/11/08
@lostarchitect: Wow, props to you for doing that. Seriously.
RE-L
RE-L
Posted 9:37 AM 25/11/08
@Metkis: True, but how many times can you use that excuse? lol
RE-L
darex
Posted 9:29 AM 25/11/08
@jayhawk11:
Certain Airbus models do on US Airway's fleet (even in coach), believe it or not.
I have an MSi WIND, so I pretty much have all the juice I need without plugging in (even more so for my iPhone, or Sony Reader). Still, it's nice to have the option.
darex
m4ximusprim3
Posted 9:58 AM 25/11/08
When asked for further comment, Mr. Wilson was quoted as saying "Dang reporter-fella! Get off my lawn!"
m4ximusprim3
simplegreen
Posted 9:52 AM 25/11/08
@jayhawk11: seriously dude.. please shave that mustache. It's just not helping your cause.
simplegreen
McLucky
Posted 10:36 AM 25/11/08
I am against this, big time. Yes we can all chose not to work while flying but it leaves the door open for bosses to expect us to be able to open the latest email full of crap to move into a new excel sheet that says the same crap.
McLucky
Monty
Posted 11:16 AM 25/11/08
I am just counting the seconds until someone files a lawsuit saying the WiFi microwaves are even more likely to give you cancer at 30,000 feet because the air is thinner.
Monty
Mike918
Posted 11:41 AM 25/11/08
@please delete me: Easy...just say first on every post and the job is done
Mike918
tobedetermined
Posted 12:05 PM 25/11/08
I don't see Mark's argument being completely valid. I always have the power to choose, thus reset people's expectation. For example, I don't want work e-mails on my smartphone. That's what I remind people. Now, they don't expect me to respond instantaneously like those Blackberry users.
In today's corporate America, many people just rush to react. Many of them don't even have clear idea the purpose.
tobedetermined
mullingitover
Posted 11:58 AM 25/11/08
Geez you luddites. Get a grip, business travelers are usually on the clock while they're traveling, so they *should* be doing something productive. Meanwhile it's going to be about as reasonably priced as those janky in-flight phones, so nobody's going to use it anyway. Most businesses aren't going to pay for it for their employees, unless they're dumb, and in that case they'll go bankrupt anyway.
mullingitover
Imadoctornotapoolman
Posted 9:51 AM 25/11/08
I have grown to hate that picture very much.
Imadoctornotapoolman
Darkest Daze
Posted 1:22 PM 25/11/08
@jayhawk11: My last trip on Continental also had plugs for my trip out. Even had touch screens on the back of the seat in front of you that allowed you to pick movies and tv shows to watch, or some simple games to play.
Darkest Daze
bobdobbs
Posted 1:34 PM 25/11/08
@simplegreen: You really should let Blam's drool-worthy girlfriend decide on the 'stache:
bobdobbs
net_addict
Posted 3:45 PM 25/11/08
@please delete me:
is that a picture of certain beads meant to go into a certain body entrance?
net_addict
simplegreen
Posted 4:19 PM 25/11/08
@bobdobbs: eh
simplegreen
aratuk
Posted 4:59 PM 25/11/08
A plane to me is one of the places I most want to disengage and forget about my surroundings, and an internet connection provides the greatest variety of means to do that. How can anyone locked in a pressurized aluminum tube not wish for a magic connection to the outside world?
I don't care if I have to work. I like working. And no force on any airline will keep me from the tiny, expensive wine bottles. So I hope my employers like work done in a slightly tipsy, restless fashion.
aratuk
thetunecatt
Posted 5:58 PM 25/11/08
That is a horrible idea; to prevent wi-fi so we dont have to work. There is such a great need for in-flight wi-fi its crazy. So many people would kill for something, anything to do on a flight!
The problem with having to do work on the plane isnt wi-fi, its your boss that forces that from you. Try looking for a new job rather than making the other 90% of the people suffer!
thetunecatt
MrBlahBlah
Posted 2:07 AM 26/11/08
@MrBlahBlah: oh wait, that makes no sense. i didn't see the word "not". i fail myself on that one.
MrBlahBlah
closhedbb
Posted 2:31 AM 26/11/08
@broho: Since during take-off, the plane is within range of likely several cell phone towers, it is being bombarded by the signals coming from and going to all of those towers, not to mention all radio traffic and everything else produced near an airport. But if you turn on your iPod, the plane will likely explode instantly.
closhedbb
closhedbb
Posted 2:16 AM 26/11/08
@Jrsy is back to being the dude, playing the dude disguised ...: My plane I fly for work has computers and communication built in! But no web-surfing, and the screens are mostly monochrome green... :(
closhedbb
closhedbb
Posted 2:14 AM 26/11/08
@jayhawk11: Virgin America isn't exactly the cheapest airline around. If you're cost-conscious when buying your tickets, the likelihood of ending up on a Virgin America flight is less than good.
closhedbb
closhedbb
Posted 2:34 AM 26/11/08
@Kev50027: I'm sorry Brian, but I have to agree. You look like the kid in high school who was the first to get facial hair, who grew out his 'stache and goat as much as he could at the time just because he could, not because it looked good.
For references on how a good mustache is grown, please watch "Tombstone", referencing Kurt Russell and Sam Elliott.
closhedbb