You say Littoral Combat Ship, I say GI Joe Action Boat.

"Complete with heli-pad and a real net to catch pirates!"

sansovino

@raleel: i was gunna say this, but you beat me to it!

f0rge

Just arm merchant ships with .50 cal's, problem solved.

newgalactic

@UofITom: But where are they going to get a US military-grade net?! WHERE I ASK YOU?!

closhedbb

As a retired Coastie my initial thought is that this is going to catch a lot of clueless recreational boaters. I've lost count how many times I've seen boaters blindly ignore buoys and other markers, only to end up on the rocks that they were warning you about. I've also seen idiots run into rocks and then complain "well my GPS told me to turn left here". It's just a matter of time if they start using these nets.

IphtashuFitz

Actually its eco friendly unless a whale decides to follow the boat. This actually is wraped around a ship only when its out of port because this is the best defense other than the 50 cal.

vasha

So I guess, per the comments, that high powered array of machine guns > sissy boat net.

Kaiser-Machead

@.endejas.: The bowling DSLR bag post was talking about the Jeezus from Big Lebowski, this was something Mr. Diaz said.

matt buchanan

Methinks pirates should use this technology to strand ships they want to commandeer .

UofITom

Argh, you'll never catch me in my high powered row boat.

Tweak

So this should raise the availability of dolphin on the open market correct?

DirtyBits

@closhedbb: My thoughts exactly. Poorly thought out anti-terror plan FTW.

forrestmc4

Since the net is going to be identified by floating buoys, what's to stop pirates from seeing these buoys and in response, raising their propellers and rowing (or sailing) their way into the supposedly cordoned off perimeter? I don't see how this net is going to do anything to keep pirates from being, well, pirates...

djkibblesnbits

Two problems:
1) The buoys kind of mark where the line is, so a boat could shut off the prop for a couple seconds, coast over the line, and be about their business.

2) What about water-jet boats? Their props are not exposed on the outisde, they would glide right over.

closhedbb

hmmmm - jet boat?

svgjjc

And we want to let the pirates live....why? Curse those flea-bitten scallywags. I say take yer sword to their gullets n' send their limey carcasses to Davey Jones' locker.

Kaiser-Machead

How about jet boats? I don't doubt those would be fairly immune to this as well.

raleel

piracy is a non-problem:

load a luxurious yacht with Navy Seals and send it to trawl around Somalia.

helldiver

There are ninjas in this diagram, you just don't.....arrrrgh!!!!!!!......one....just......got...... me........

Chester_Copperpot

Can I ask a question, why do you keep referrencing Jesus?

(and I'm guessing Mr. Diaz and not son of the almighty.)

.endejas.

This is a joke and more garbage in our seas.

Sink their boats and throw them some life jackets.

William

@Kaiser-Machead: As opposed to figuratively?

Xavoc

@Jrsy is the dude, playing the dude, disguised as another du...: You mean the ninjas formerly known as Seal Team 6?

Xavoc

I've always believed in the philosophy, "Shoot first. And ask questions later."

SaturnV

@sansovino: Why not just avoid pirate infested waters to begin with?

Xavoc

@Kaiser-Machead: They will listen to Reason (TM)

Xavoc

@matt buchanan: I must reluctantly admit to being amused by the word Littoral.

Kaiser-Machead

@Chester_Copperpot: I was going to say, just because ninjas are not mentioned, or shown (obviously), it doesn't mean they're not there channeling chuck norris.

Xavoc

One little piece of plastic under the prop and aaarrrr, ye've got pirates all over the poop deck.

zdaddyo

@GHETTO.CHiLD: It's Coast Guard-developed (which I've added to the post now), but it'll be on the Navy's Littoral Combat Ship.

matt buchanan

If only such a technology was married with some benign animal repellent device. But of course, the US does not care about sea creatures and their wellbeing/existence when conducting naval operations.

Cobol_Mongol

Navy? That's the Cost Guard bud. Big difference. U.S. Navy will use missles on you, the Coast Guard will just call your mom.

GHETTO.CHiLD

And how exactly do we know this doesn't involve ninja's? For security purposes there could be an undocumented step 4 where ninja's slip aboard the stranded boat and assasinate everyone....

Jrsy is the dude, playing the dude, disguised as another dude

@raleel: If you've ever been to Reelfoot lake in western Tenn then you've seen boats that have a way around this measure. There, cyprus logs are constantly floating just below the water ready to tear the motor off of a normal boat. So they use flat bottomed boats with a guard for the prop and skate over these hazards all the time. I think the T's will figure this one out pretty quick.

dukemang

@raleel: my first thought too....

citizen024

@raleel: Those would certainly bypass it, but most boats still use props. It's not perfect but it's better than nothing.

Kharnellius

Why can't they just use torpedoes? I mean who's going to complain?

Mothers Against Blown Up Pirates? I doubt it.

Jrsy is the dude, playing the dude, disguised as another dude

This is not surprising. It's a widely known fact that ninja's smoke and mirror trickery has no effect on that all powerful pirate.

.king

If the pirates can see the buoy, then they could just raise their outboard when they get close to the net and glide over it.

SgtToastie

@Con Seannery: Haha... Navy brass. The only thing this barrier is good for is Navy BASS..

Jrsy is the dude, playing the dude, disguised as another dude

No to be one of those over the top environmentalist ppl..
but really.. how many types of fish is this going to kill before it catches a "pirate" ??
Just shot the bastards..

SeventhExile

What happens when the pirates get some pirate ninjas with scissors?

VideoVampire

@Cobol_Mongol: Right, well when it's your life or a whale, are you really going to worry about the whale?

Xavoc

@Jrsy is the dude, playing the dude, disguised as another du...: MABUP has a very strong lobby in Congress, actually, as well as contacts in the Navy brass...

Con Seannery

@Xavoc: I thought they were Seal Team 7??

Jrsy is the dude, playing the dude, disguised as another dude

@closhedbb: I think the net is meant to stop things before the Phalanx guns open up.

Xavoc

Yaarrgh... what props?! Ye might tangle me rudder is all. At which point, ye can untangle it whilst being keel hauled!!

avconsumer2

not going to work. can use an aircraft motor and propeller. like a swamp boat. also, raise the motor just before going over said cable.

aeroworks

Great! I'll just raise my motor and coast through. Do this all the time on the lake to get past logs and stuff.

dieman

What exactly is wrong with the tried and true method of using a .50 calibre Browning or GE 20mm cannon to shoot the crap out of people armed with AK-47s and RPGs who are rapidly approaching you in a speedboat?

Ednonymous

Yes as it is likley that any fast late model pirate ship is likley to be using a great kiwi invention called the Hamilton Jet due to the fact they are fast and can opperate in only a couple of centermeters of water it is liley that this method of entanglement will not work. However If you put a nice flat peice of plastic on the top that can be sucked up into the impellas then you can also stop one of these dead in the water as well.
That is provided the jet boat has its intake in the usual place on the bottom.

ShadowX

@closhedbb: Yep exactly. On a small boat you could even kill the engine and pull up the motor then keep going.

thetunecatt

@matt buchanan: Thanks for clearing that up. ;)

.endejas.

..."40-inch nylon loops that do the ensnaring don't exactly sound animal-friendly, especially if they get tangled and twisted."

Darwin says: "Let 'em die."

JadoJodo

Are the nets cut proof? If they are clearly marked, can they not cut an opening?

berribrand

Has hangin' their scurvy pirate carcasses from th' yardarm
somehow become ineffective?
Perhaps modern warships lack yardarms. I'm sure some other arrangement could be provided.

russdanger

wait. we're using nets?

i feel like i live in such a technologically advanced country.

the_amazing_doug

@Tweak: A Vespoli 8+ is a thing of beauty. And, olympic-class rowers get up to 12 knots (over 2000 meters).

morcheeba

What's wrong with Silkworm missiles?

PastorDoodah

@SeventhExile: probably very few. A fish would have to have a circumference of over 3 1/3 feet, and would still likely not get stuck. /guesses

frigg

That's why u use jet motors and go as fast as possible

Felix26591

The linked article certainly used an old photo, as SBC Park was renamed AT&T Park back in March 2006.

klew

I'd say deck guns for all ships... of the kind that submarines used to have on their forward decks.

I shot or two from one of those should keep pirates away.

dOk

Time to wrap this around Somalia...

FritzLaurel

@raleel:
Yeah, jet drive, or just pull the motor up while coasting over the line, not a very robust solution...

wpns

it 'don sound liek much of a problim

if the coast guard needs latest Navy boats to chase drug boats it doesn't sound like those guys will be caught in such a lame

Raidah

That's right... because Pirates don't carry KNIVES

Tedinasia

I invoke the right to parlez!

EricAlder

"...and easy targets for boarding."

Except for the whole "high-powered rifle and automatic weapons they're probably carrying" thing.

"...and easy targets for sinking."

Fixed.

Metron4

Trust me, it is a conspiracy.
This is a cover-up,
They use anti-pirate ninjas.

Xterm11

Whats stopping the small pirate boats from just CUTTING the rope before the propeller in the rear goes over it? Someone in the front of the boat leans over and snips both sides of the rope and pushes it away..

ElroyCleite

As a former naval officer, some points: 1. Small buoys, the kind used on fishing nets, are *really* hard to see out in the open ocean. They're hard to see from the bridge of a warship 44 feet above the water; I imagine they'd be even harder to spot from a pirate speedboat's vantage point closer to the surface of the water. Add in some 10-15 foot swells, or some chop, and they'll be hidden easily. 2. I doubt the boats being used by these pirates are jet-powered. At the most, I'm assuming they're using some sort of Boston Whaler-type rig, like those used by the Iranian Revolutionary Guard back in the day. 3. This seems like a smart, low-cost, effective solution to me.

ArnoldAluminoid

Deck mounted Miniguns FTW.
Seriously

Duc