Beer-Filled USB Drive Raises Disturbing Questions

Gadgets like this Beer-Filled USB Flash Drive really make me question the basics. More than my first-year university philosophy class did, anyway. Existential angst, the downfall of western civilization, and “customisable floaties” after the jump.

Is capitalism really that great, if it leads to beer-filled USB flash drives with “optional customisable floating objects” inside? Should we Americans really be that pleased with our free speech, if it means I get emails from people who make flash drives with BEER in them? And am I really secure with myself as a gadget dork, getting all excited over the latest and greatest shiny toys, if that same email brags about the floating objects being in 3D? How could they be anything but 3D, when they’re actual, physical objects? I can’t pretend like the world is the same after this. The sun doesn’t shine as bright. The air doesn’t taste as sweet. Congratulations, Beer-Filled USB Drive Manufacturer. You’ve broken me. [CNK]