What Is Going to Happen at the Apple Let’s Rock Event?

Hoo-kai. We are almost there. The usual suspects are voicing their last minute, most obvious predictions for what is looking like the most boring event in Apple’s history ever. At least, since Gil Amelio decided to give an exclusive interview to The Minnesota Carpets Quarterly Journal on the new flooring at One Infinite Loop. New colours, roomier iPod nano this, updated iPod touch that, flashy iTunes visualiser that other thing… Hereto we present you with the things that we think are going to happen today for sure, straight from our Rumour-a-thing machine. Pick yours and vote in our Special Giz Event “Let’s Poll!” Poll:

The Apple Store is still up. Maybe there are going to be no new products today. I can already hear Steve:

Welcome to our Let’s Rock event… SUCKAS! Hahahaha. You wanted to rock? Well, big news today! Phil, John and myself are going to form a band with John Mayer! And we are going to call ourselves: THE BEATLES! SUE MY ARSE PAUL MCCARTNEY! Hit me on three, Phil!

Too bad that won’t happen, because that would have been the best event in Apple history. Ever.