WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT....

People think this guy is worse than Jobs? I'm all about a Prez with as much enthusiasm as Ballmer.

Ballmer may be a raving lunatic, but Jobs is the spawn of pure Satan Himself.

Plus, if I didn't say I liked him, he'd probably eat me.

@i_prefer_sasquatch: I whole heartedly agree with you. I wrote a schpeal like that on one of the posts about the new I'm a PC ads. Apple disgusted me with their commercials, but Microsoft only cuts themselves down when they acknowledge what Apple is doing. As a company, you should maintain yourself a little better. Promote YOUR products, don't slander the competitions. I'll buy it if it's better, don't tell me it's better.

x3r0

All he forgot was to scream BOO-YA! at the end of that..

Jrsy is the dude, playing the dude, disguised as another dude

You ever notice how McDonald's and Coke never, ever mention any of their competition in their ads?

They do that because they believe that the strongest way to continue to build their brand is to say:

"Hey, we're #1. We own this soft-drink game. We're the best. We're not concerned with what our competition says about us because, we're the best.

The things that make us the best are the things that you like as well.

You're drinking, eating, wearing the best when you patronize us."

It's like being the Queen of England. Do you come out from the castle and raise a stink when the Sex Pistols mess with your photo?

Of course not. Why? Because you're the goddamn Queen. You're better than that, you're an institution.

Does that mean that the Sex Pistols won't get a lot of mileage out of messing with your image?

Well, that's what they're hoping for. That's why they're messing with an institution - it get's you noticed. Bully for them.

But if the institution fires back and is all bitchy and irritated, it ends up knocking itself down a notch.

Worse, it enforces it's adversary's argument & runs the risk of getting itself mired in a friggin' conversation with these two-bit nobodies who are attacking it.

Point being, Apple can easily co-opt this Microsoft campaign into it's own, existing campaign. Doing so would create a conversation where Apple would automatically have the higher ground.

Microsoft, with this campaign, is saying to me:

"We're really mad/irritated/annoyed with how Apple is making us look & that hurts our feelings and that's not how we are and, DAMNIT, we're really MAD and why don't they just stop with those ads? We're cool too!"

It's hack advertising & if anything is lending MORE credence and authority to the Apple campaign.

I predict this whole campaign will morph into a:

"Here's a cool person using Windows to get cool stuff done. She's using it because it's the best tool for her success"

Which is a fine message that any creative director worth her salt could run with.

In fact, here's a tag line for this campaign:

Windows. Get it done.

They should have gone with something like that from the get-go and skipped the whole "I'm a PC" thing and completely ignored any reference to Apple. It's only going to bite them on the ass.

My $.02

i_prefer_sasquatch

Wow ballmer hasn't changed much in 25 years. He was bald and overbearing back then too.

chrism123

He was actually pretty hilarious in the Windows 1.0 commercial. But now, yeah, scary. What happened to that zany by lovable guy from the old commercial? My guess, eaten by an alien who now inhabits Ballmer's body.

alowishus

I find this suspect. I'm guessing someone found a good voice double and used a few stills from an old video.

mciarlo

Why is it he always reminds me of a used car salesman?

(after this post, so much for ever working at MS)

maztec

Steve Ballmer rules!!!!

arod

I'm Steve Ballmer and I EAT KITTENS!

Drummer_Boy

@vinnyr: Yeah, they probably used chopped up audio, too: I AM (cooking bacon inside) a PC and I (would) LOVE (to eat) THIS COMPANY (with a side of mashed potatoes, followed by the sound of Steve Ballmer choking on his own tongue.)

GarciaConcern

I used to just fear clowns. Now . . . he'll haunt my nightmares.

Jeez, what an ass deusche.

aboriginal

@Overheal: You are so right. I've got a hanerkin' to go drive out to the local apple store and just trash it.

shenanigans

Ballmer reminds me of my uncle when he's drunk except he doesn't scare the crap out of me.

gamecrazychris

i think its 2 fps because it wasnt a video, just a bunch of stills taken one after the other. I watched it and looked at activity monitor on my mac pro and it wasnt using any resources so I guess its just a bunch of still pictures.

vinnyr

People, don't give your money to this man.

bobdobbs

@tundraboy:

I'm glad someone else gets that

Good post!

Sam43054

They should just produce a remake of that old Windows 1.0 commercials with Steve Ballmer.

+ Watch video

alcyone

@Phenostar: They never were taking a step forward.

hu_hu_cool

Funny how WHG III had to coem out of retirement to save his company. Good thing Ballmer wasn't in the ads. They may need a likeable CEO.

Sticky230

Shit. Just when it looks like MS is taking a step forward, this guy puts them five steps back.

Phenostar

In the back of his mind, Steve is thinking, "Man, I should have used Preperation H wipes!"

Blithering

In which way does a customer want Microsoft-products MORE by watching this clip? :|

Inception

When John Hodgman says "I'm a PC", he is actually playing a PC not a person who uses a PC. Microsoft too thick to see that distinction?

tundraboy

yep, that did it. I'm burning all my copies of windows and buying a Mac.

jkr's bold comment

I really do think that Ballmer does drugs.

ttech10

@Overheal: Same here.

takashimiike 7

So the company is run by a raving lunatic?

takashimiike 7

@Overheal: Yep, 2 FPS for me too.
And Ballmer always reminds me of a mad Uncle Fester...

Nintenboy01

Also I'd love microsoft too if it made me a m/billionaire(whatever he is).

nyaz

These ads blow chunks.

Dinotech

I admit it, I lol'ed

cardboredbox

@Overheal: Yea, same for me. Ballmer is scary.

superhalo

Damn he's scary. He runs Microsoft now huh?...

Ambiguous Blob 2.0

someone hold me please.

nyaz

That video running at 2fps for anyone else?

Ballmer is a scary man. But he makes me want to go smash up an Apple store.

Overheal

Damn, , he makes me hate Windows. I want Bill back.

Strider-No.9

@Scrubadub:

Problem is that it come off as fake enthusiasm, like if he yells enough no one will notice he's a phony.

if anything he "loves" this company because of what it has made him, not the products it makes and definitely not its customers

Chromium

what a pathetic asshole.
that is all.

HoseHead

@MichelleDatsun: Yes. Because Steve Jobs is much, much saner.

Rodime

@Inception: To show that using windows makes you a big, scary man ... and using a mac makes you gay and emo.

Rodime

I think this guy is funny...But he´s damn crazy...

stopitnow54

"I'm a PC, and I DEMAND OS X!" Fuck off Windows/Microshit.

spectator101

I surprised that it seems like nobody here likes Ballmer at all. Nobody likes the fact that he's the CEO of a huge corporation and yet still acts crazy? It's almost refreshing to see someone important as him act all wild.

Scrubadub

@alcyone: That was awesome/funny. I was starting to think he'd give himself an aneurysm there.

kylo4

What a fucking psycho. If there's a reason to not buy Windows, it's him.

MichelleDatsun

It's Rowdy Roddy Ballmer!

Mongoose

BALLMER FTW B**CHES

xacked

His poor kids. : (

BiZarRroBALlmeR

They REALLY need to keep that guy under wraps.

He's doing no one any favors.

strider_mt2k

He's a PC and he's been infected with a serious virus.

BiZarRroBALlmeR

At least he's thinner and there's less visible sweat than he had in the 'dance monkey boy' video.

paristotle

That dude's a character

NagChampa

Does he fart when he starts screaming at the top of his lungs? I mean he's gotta squeeze some muscles to get all that hot air out.

Ken_Darrow

You know, to be where he is, Ballmer MUST have something on the ball, but whatever it is, its really well hidden. He seems like the loud mouth jerk from sales that everyone hates who only got hired because he married the bosses daughter or something.
Very well hidden.

Curves

I AM A PC, AND I LOVE DEVELOPERS

MisterC

"I am a PC and I have no idea how to successfully market Windows"

hadees

@alcyone: Love It: Reversi (except in Nebraska)

unkpku is sick

Ballmer is an embarrassment to his company. He is a walking fool. If I were Bill Gates, I would cringe when I see things like this. So unprofessional.

lunchtimereader

Would you buy a japanese knife set from this guy (you know the ones that can cut though a tomato can)? No, neither would I... but he does run Microsoft.

sos10

I'm a PC...hater version:

+ Watch video

RoscoPeeholePain

This definitely takes the cake. I am just amazed this guy is now running Microsoft.

+ Watch video

kylo4

every time i see one of those commercials or anything like it i want a guy with a gun and a guy fawkes mask to start shooting everyone and say BITCH I'M LINUX AND I WILL ROCK YOUR WORLD then she takes off the mask and strips for the camera

the.schimmi

@alcyone: Has anybody called that number and asked for Steve yet?

I've heard that Ballmer has killed over a dozen employees and a couple of barristas, but it's all been hushed up with free copies of Vista.

Gary_7vn

I still don't get the point of these ads. Do I really need a multi-million dollar advertising campaign to tell me that Windows is FUCKING EVERYWHERE!! I don't think so...

ACDlite

That dude is so blazed.

jcraig

hello i'm a Mac, and im going back to PC.
no, really.

hazaelox

Balmer is awesome! Developers, developers, developers, developers!!!!!

NilzXX

with the amount of poison being spit out here, i would say that the new campaign is going rather well. balmer is one of (from the looks of it) hundreds of thumbnails on the site. unless someone pointed it out (as Guillaume did) you would probably never find it. and not have anything to cry about.

godwhacker

I love Steve Balmer. he is awesome. he has been at Microsoft for how long now, he became rich beyond his dreams for how many years now. most multi billionairs seem kind of bored with the fact that they have so much money. every single time Balmer speaks he is still in shock and aw of how rich Microsoft made him

t-man152

It might be a little over the top, but I still liked it. All that's missing is armpit stains on his shirt. That would have made it perfect.

golferal

@jae_mez

But Ballmer isn't exactly a geek is he?

Perhaps a used-car salesman from Paramus NJ or a louder and balder version of President Sarkozy?

VAR1016

He was just having fun leave him alone....I WANT geeks to run my OS

jae_mez

Mr Ballmer seems to have forgotten to put on his tie.

Apart from that sartorial detail, who would care to work for an arsehole like that?

I am of course not an American, but would like to make it clear that I am in no way anti-American. However I do recall going for an interview once with an American chap; Ballmer reminds me of what was really rather an unpleasant experience.

VAR1016

Every time this nutjob starts shouting in public head of Microsoft marketing commits suicide.

ara

shit a billion pc users and only so few BSD issues, MS must be doing something well,if only apple can do the same with their 3 million+ LG knock off.

I'm a designer with a PC. ...zune rocks!!! :)

wetworker

Steve Ballmer would bite Steve Jobs on the face, given the chance.

Fact: Jobs wears those turtlenecks because of a bite scar on his neck from Ballmer.

tex1ntux

They had to get a robotic camera operator because the human variety couldn't stop laughing.

Batbrody

TunrdaBoy:
You can spin it however you want.. these ads make it clear that not everyone that uses a PC/windows is a business geek and that they create some of the greatest, most important works with the OS. The apple ads point fun at MS based OSs with the business geek stereotype. Even more annoying is that the apple ads point out flaws in MS software as if they dont have any. Even if MSs only flaw was that a cat sound played everytime you click the start button the mac ads would be saying how horrible the OS is because of it, etc. Well, this is all silly. The new ads are good and Ballmer is crazy.. but we all knew that already, right?

Serpent2

So that's what Ballmer gets to do at work?!?! damn! i hope i can become CEO of Microsoft one day, i can already imagine the possibilities to be able to act crazy, get paid a shitload of money and become bald...

for some reason he strikes me as more of a football coach the the CEO of an operating system ha.

Itspeat!

What an overbearing asshole.

paja

*whoa* My account works - boy do *I* feel stupid now. :)

Ok.. Sam43054 and tundraboy

Guys - you (and quite a few other Mac fans) are rationalising like crazy here. Yes, Hodgman represents a PC and Long represents a Mac - but they also represent attributes of those machines in order to sell them to the average consumer.

If a person wanted to be "hip and cool", they wouldn't want to buy a computer that's represented by a guy in a suit and that can't even print in colour or do movies or make music... The stereotype of the computer reflects on the USER of that computer - THAT is the whole point of the Mac vs PC ads - I'm a Mac and the people who own me do cooler things that people who own PCs do.

The PC is dressed in a drab business suit because the image Apple wants you to take away is that PCs are for dull drab work - and thus anyone who uses one as their primary computer must also - by extention - be dull and drab. This is reinforced by the argument that PCs not only are really just for pie charts - but GREY ones at that. How could someone who uses PCs do anything as cool as they could on a Mac?

Well, that's what this round of ads are addressing - that the people who own PCs ARE doing interesting and important and fun things with their PCs and that it's ok to own one - you don't have to feel dorky or drab or ashamed.

I think it's a brilliant campaign in that aspect.

Oh.. and you'll notice that unlike Apple, Microsoft did it without having to stoop to Apple's level of name calling.

TheWerewolf

@devianaut:

What profession makes your opinion so definative?

Altdotweb

@tundraboy:

They are not letting Apple choose who get's to represent a PC.

That is the distinction.

Altdotweb

that was scary. He could beat the shit out of steve jobs. Him versus Jobs AND Woz would be a fun fight... I don't think Gates would do much either way.

kzooguy

in my professional opinion, i believe he's a good part of why any one theoretically would be scared off by microsoft - even more than virus attacks, virusware charges, updates updates updates, vista problems, etc.

devianaut

Ballmer, stay off coke please. ...

switch to Pepsi. =)

vgart

@Serpent2: Yeah just get in on the ground floor of a fledgling company and hang around for years, kissing the bosses ass. Eventually who knows, you might rise to the top just like Ball(d)mer.

Jrsy is the dude, playing the dude, disguised as another dude

@Serpent2: No, no, no. Tundraboy is right. The Get a Mac ads are asking you who you'd like to work with, not who you are. It's silly to have people say they are their computer. In fact, until this MS ad I never thought of myself as a computer, nor did I think Apple wanted me to. No one I know has ever said to me in an OS discussion "I'm a PC", "I'm a Mac'. MS is just being silly and reacting to a message that doesn't even exist. It's dumb.

You know what's even dumber? These ads are deadly serious and pretentious, something Apple is accused off all the time. Meanwhile, Apples ads are light and funny, at least 50-70% of the time.

Mark 2000

@Curves: Sadly, I don't think there's anything hidden there.

Jrsy is the dude, playing the dude, disguised as another dude

[shivers]

makes me wanna curl into a little ball and sit in the corner of the room rocking back and forth.

makeseven

@i_prefer_sasquatch: Flat wrong. Both companies you referenced have mentioned their competition and tried to prove they were superior in national television spots.

johnnyabnormal

ROFL, gotta love Ballmer.
But he should've said: I'M A PC, AND I LOOOOVE DEVELOPERS!

+ Watch video

Bokusatsu_Tenshi

Awww yeah! Ballmer's booming it out! I don't agree with some of his testosterone-laden aggression, but I admire how a CEO of such a big company can be himself - enthusiastic and unabashed. That's a sad rarity.

Torley

please Bill, come back. please.

EdBansil

@Mark 2000:

Actually,

They are personifying the 2 computer systems.

The ads work to distinguish between the characteristics of the users each type of system.

Use a PC, and be stodgy like John Hodgeman
Use a mac and be cool and hip like Justin Long.

They are telling you to pick between stodgy and hip.

The MS ads are not pretentious, they are just a clarification to counter misinformation put out in the "I'm a Mac" ads.

Altdotweb

pcs= computers for tasteless thugs and bullies

bishara

@Curves:

I think he is the flipside of that. Sure, you have the loudmouth salesman that's only there for a special reason that everyone hates, but then you have the Ballmer type who is a loudmouth salesman who takes advantage of his voice and says all the right things, while everyone hates him because he kicks their asses in sales :P

Arlips

Dude!

Kounji

I'm Guillaume, and i'm a Mac :P

ChunkAhoy

Be careful what you say, guys. When the whole world is dried up and there is no water left, this guy will still be sweaty...and dare I say it, we might have to lick his sweat glands to live.

Desipride

It scared my dog when I played the Ballmer clip. Lame.

blitzcat

He's really the most exciting CEO out there. Its kind of sad.

Kounji

haha, so funny. awesome stuff. love the guy.

Creasy

Dear god. Steve Balmer is insane. I'm glad my generation is replacing these baby boomers. Seeing him sweat like a pig, yell like a football coach, and push around Billy boy like a bully just makes your mouth drop in awe that Bill Gates put up with his shyt for so long.

I do agree he is more fun to watch then some of these other CEO's but damn how is he remotely professional or even remotely up to kin with the new generations?

Frankly I'm a bit scared to see what comes out of this man.

addiktion

Actually, after watching it so many times, I really want this as a ringtone on my iPhone. No joke.

StopTheLHC

Can't. Stop. Watching.

StopTheLHC

I am surprised to see no one has come out with a contrary opinion to this spot!

Okay I admit, I actually quite liked this lil "promo" its self deprecating Humor from ballmer...give him points for that!

pradster

thanks Bill for hiding him in the basement for the past 30 years, the world owe u one Bill.

for the "I'm a PC" ad, i think it will make opposite results. my young brother already asking "y they are saying I'm a PC", so what??

i then explained to him, its M$ answer to I'm a Mac ads. the M$ ad was a good way to let people wonder is there anything other than PC?? lets go and checkout

thank u M$, for making I'm a Mac ads more famous than ever.

medopal

This also reminds me, I need to do my stereotypical Ballmer comment:

"IIII AMMM AAAA PEEEEEECEEE, AND I LOOOOVE THIS COMPANYY....EXCEPT IN NEBRASKAAAA!!!!"

StopTheLHC

I went to the Life Without Walls site and scrolled through the PC people... No Ballmer. Did they already remove him or did I miss him somehow?

macpurc

Nope he's there.

I like Steve Ballmer. At least he's got the balls to jump around like a loon whilst running one of the world's biggest and most identifiable companies.

Drummer_Boy

@ttech10 said: I really do think that Ballmer does drugs.

You're correct, and it's called Ritalin. And as
we can see from this video, he obviously hasn't
refilled his prescription in a while.

mjt

Windows makes people go nuts!

jrockcol

@wetworker: no, no, no. zune is terrible.

Concrete_Particulars

Well, yeah... MS made him a billionaire ahah! I'd love any company for that :)

Digital Freak

"I sell fish"

rudeadly

The video of "Steve Ballmer" is a little creepy to begin with. Moreover I was not really very impressed by the Windows PC advertising campaign, even when they had Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates. Sure enough, it is hard to compete against Apple at the present moment and their ad campaigns, however that is something that has worked so well for Apple. Microsoft has to come up with something better than "I am a PC, and I love this company". Competition in the tech industry has gotten fierce across the board and advertising plays a major role in gaining competitive market share and to ask consumers to try the company's products not only in the short run but more so in the long run. Microsoft's Vista never really took off compared with Apple's Leopard OS. Moreover Apple has developed their own smart phone which has gained tremendous popularity over the past years and weeks with their iPhone 3G. It will be interesting to see how Microsoft develops Windows 7 and other products to gain a competitive advantage in this industry.

Nishi

Perhaps an idea for the next Gizmodo poll? Favourite Steve Ballmer video

+ Watch video

Neone

If I was that rich I would be that excited too.

Dradik27

This guy is the complete opposite of the calm cool persona associated with Steve Jobs. This just reinforces the class and style of Apple over this screaming crazy man's company.

Bauart

Of course he loves the company. Its made him rich beyond his wildest dreams...

Oranges w/ Cheese

I think he has had the same hairdo for like 30 years. Wow. Same used car salesman tactic, but the man is rich and powerful... so I guess that gives him some space to love his company.

zanella

@MisterC: That must've read:

"I'm Steve Ballmer, I'M A PC, I LOVE DEVELOPERS, they're tasty!"

mangochutney

Psychopath!

altus

@medopal: I think I hear your mother calling you, telling you it's time to get burped and go to bed. Grammar, let me show you.

The Magnificen7

@mciarlo: Really? Because MS produced that clip. Asshat.

The Magnificen7

Highlight of watching this clip--I'd just sat back down, and had forgotten I left a pre-suck Metallica playlist going. For a second there, I was pretty amused that they'd set this shot to a background of "Enter Sandman"... then the let-down sank in.

fluidexistence

I WANT BILL BACK. Microsoft will never be the same.

tekman94

Lunatic + Ballmer = Windows 7

Patleo

Ack...I just sharted.

spokejunky

@x3r0: You're absolutely right.
@Mongoose: That was absolutely funny.

unspellable

@Strider-No.9: They were PCs before PCs were "cool."

danatoth

@Bauart:
LOL @ veiled elitism.

involved6

NOTE TO SELF:

He doesn't love windows.
He doesn't love the customers.
He loves the company.

Screw him and the poor horse (who no doubt got crushed by ballmer's fat ass) he rode in on.

Ednonymous

@wetworker:
its 6.1M till end of june 2008.
source [en.wikipedia.org]

MySchizoBuddy

In a deathmatch, Gates would be first down, then Jobs, then Ellison, then Brin & Page, and that would leave Ballmer standing.

However, Shatner could take Ballmer.

fdg008

I'm a PC and having seen Ballmer in action in real life, I realize he is brilliant AND passionate AND geniune. Crazy, yes. But honest about it. He's your crazy uncle who buys you beer when you are 16. He's Bill Clinton. The intelligentsia bristle with disdain, but most folks love his antics.

I'm a Mac too and having seen Jobs in action in real life too, I realize he is also brilliant AND passionate BUT arrogant. Crazy too, but in more neurotic, self-obsessed sort of manner. He's your demanding but creepy 10th grade art teacher. He's William F. Buckley. The proliteriat don't grasp his disdain for their lack of taste, unless they can afford a taste of the image (see iPod successes).

In the end, most wish they could really be as cool as Jobs, but for the vast majority of folks, we (the vast We at that) are really the dweebs in the brown suit like Ballmer.

AAPL succeeded in doing one wrong thing with the Mac vs. PC ads. With the PC character, they unwittingly transformed the faceless megacorp Uncle Bill made into loveable clutz of a persona that people identify more with than the slacker cool of Mac. And they also made MSFT into the underdog. With these two messages, AAPL laid the foundation for a MSFT rebutal that actually sticks (despire horrid marketing on MSFT's part) in the "I'm a PC" campaign.

What MSFT did well in these ads is it never mentions AAPL or *nix or ANY competitor. It takes the high road and shows technology enabling people. In this respect, given MSFT's market position, this was a good move on Crispin Porter + Bogusky. (helluva lot better than the Seinfeld ads)

fdg008

@wetworker: plus for July to Sep 2008. Piper Jaffery estimates 5M sold in the fourth fiscal quarter. So thats about 11M iphones.
[www.appleinsider.com]

MySchizoBuddy

It scares me that he's reproduced...

SuperSkrull

@Concrete_Particulars: Oh no, Zune is pretty good.

videoCWK

You know what's even dumber? These ads are deadly serious and pretentious, something Apple is accused off all the time. Meanwhile, Apples ads are light and funny, at least 50-70% of the time.>>>

Finally someone with a little common sense. Microsoft's ripped off everything else from Apple - why not their ad campaign?

direi

balmer is one of (from the looks of it) hundreds of thumbnails on the site.>>>

Dude, don't be a sucker. They paid those people to be on that site, most of them are Microsoft employees. Don't be an idiot.

direi

Whoa. That alone ruins this entire campaign. I loved it, but thanks MS for reminding me who is really running the ship.

direi

Ballmer makes me wish for Bill! What a fruit cake!

trailingedge

@Neone: Please, God, smite whoever mixed this. Kill them now.

ViperBorg

@Ednonymous: lol @ poor horse.

ViperBorg

@videoCWK: Agreed. Zune rocks.

ViperBorg

@x3r0: I'd rather work for Ballmer than for Jobs - who is brilliant - but potentially pure and sinister evil...

bartek

I find the energy to be very positive. Steve Jobs is great - but he'll never be as big as Gate / Ballmer...

bartek