@DustyButt: Bravo!

Also, I wouldn't want to be the recyclables collector for any of you recyclers out there.

txpunk

Hey! With your current screen name, if I do this:

@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->bosskev

Does that mean we're an item? I mean, I do love you in your fancy Lindsay-esque frock.

bosskev

@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->: Press your luck posting that picture? Compared to the crap Giz so often posts itself? Nah, you should have been fine...although I do understand your maybe being a bit paranoid these days.

bosskev

Is the skinny dude in the background anorexic? Why's he eating them?

shamoononon has a hebetudinous dog

Hell, I'll eatem. After dieting for the last month or so, I'll eat anything...as long as it's crispy and covered in salt!

Chromeo

@bosskev: congrats

@vinchbr: There's a town in Texas called Balmorhea. Kinda fits.

Gann

@combat chuck: @lldsandsll: I was gonna put up the picture, but didn't want to press my luck.

Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->

now they gonna invent a new term for pooping after eating this chip, "word diarrhea" and "puking words"

vinchbr

Talk About ROUGHAGE! OWW! (gets soft wipeys)

lunasdude

Yeah, maybe. But not for me. Don't need 'em at all, doing quite well on my own. Got it down to a painless and very healthy (not to mention gadget-enhanced!) system. (-42, about two-thirds of the way there, for those following this tiny personal saga)

Besides, if I want to gorge on paper, I've got plenty of unpaid bills on which to feast.

bosskev

Email:

Regards

DustyButt

@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->: i love u for bringing this into discussion.

lldsandsll

@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->: I try to stay in the Type 3-5 range. Anything else is hell.

combat chuck

- So...You can't eat Post-it™ notes?... Too late.

- Millions of rats termites can't be wrong... eat paper.

Burump Bump!

I'm on a roll... I'll be here until 4:00 if you need me....

aec007

This is as stupid as someone marketing ZERO CALORIE, ZERO FAT, ZERO CARB WATER!!

Joseph

"Olestra-esque "anal leakage?"

Holy shit, (no pun intended), that sent chills through my spine.

I remember my first and "last" bowl of olestra chips...

aec007

And everyone, if you are going to refer to stool, please lets standardize by using the Bristol Stool Scale. It will make everything so much easier to comprehend.

Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->

I wonder if these taste like those yummy packing peanuts that dissolve. I really liked the taste of those. I believe they were mostly just cornstarch.

Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->

It's PEOPLE!! They're making our food out of people. Next thing they'll be breeding us like cattle for food......

dcarrington01

@Zaxxon Q Blaque: Fiber makes your poo mushy, not hard :O "Insoluble fiber possesses passive water-attracting properties that help to increase bulk, soften stool and shorten transit time through the intestinal tract." [en.wikipedia.org]

Cellulose is basically insoluble.

RobLikesbrunch

@Zaxxon Q Blaque: and itll papercut ur poohole! X-D

urbanturban666

Piece of advice for Giz readers:

Avoid foods that don't rot or mold after a week without refrigeration. Possible exceptions are some fruit and bread. Those shouldn't last more then two weeks.

newgalactic

this is just retarded, unless it is cellulose, then it is slightly less retarded.

lldsandsll

May cause LBS. Leaky Butt Syndrome.

haddiman1

This will make for some very very solid and painful poos. >_<

Zaxxon Q Blaque

I dunno.. I'll need to hear Captain Duvel Moneycat's opinion of these chips before I make any decisions.

Segador

Seeing as they said it's "Paper" I'm assuming that it's primary ingredient is simply cellulose, and although cellulose does indeed contain energy (being a carbohydrate), it's a structorial carbohydrate found in the cell wall of plants. Humans cannot digest it, and therefore, if we take it in, we just poo it out. It's just made out of fiber (the chips). These chips may not make you fat, but they sure as hell will make your shit messy. Expect to spend more time wiping.

RobLikesbrunch

I'd rather eat cardboard... oh, wait....

Blakamin

Shouldn't we recycle paper the other way? Where was it I read that if all US newspaper readers recycle, they will save .5mil trees ... I can't remember for what period... A week maybe...

Anyway, that'll be a good side to the burger in a can.

cablio

As long as they put salt on these, I'm down.

Spongehead56

If Seth Rogan eats them so will I.

mr30gZune

@3waygeek: Yes. It will wipe itself as you poo...in your pants because of the seepage.

MayorBee is getting what plants crave

Look on the bright side, everyone. If you eat enough paper, your ass will wipe itself as you poo.

3waygeek

@Joseph:

"This is as stupid as someone marketing ZERO CALORIE, ZERO FAT, ZERO CARB WATER!!"

Honest to god, I bought a bottle of "non-fat" water one time. I have a picture of the bottle somewhere.

So... paper poop. The world's only self-wiping crap!!!

MyPetFly

Can't be much worse than 1st gen baked tortilla chips I had a few years back.

Confuzius

@bosskev: No more paranoid than normal. And no, we're not an item. While I do love you, it's platonic. I swear.

Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->

I'll be eating these until my ass screams out

"PC load letter"

Mayor McRib

Ewww, the green ones are peppermint flavor! Peppermint flavored chips are an affront to all that is good and decent. It's like microwaving a sweet wittle kitty-cat.

RobotVampire

How's this different to eating... fruits and veggies?

They might not be 0 cal, but they are healthy though not as tasty (for some) as chips.

Also, if that pic is an ad of the product, it isn't working much... the guy in the back seems to be having a hard time, and the guy up front looks like...

You know when someone is faking eating something (like a cochroach) just to take the pic? Yeah, that.

Bokusatsu_Tenshi

@crapcakes: a sit-up? 500 is more of a standard amount! (if one is to fat to accomplish that amount ill be more than happy to take a whip out for motivation, whipping works wonders, taser on low works too).

citizen024

What's next, glass pop-rocks? Plastic snacky cakes?

RobotVampire

@crapcakes:

"Do a sit-up, you fat fucks."

Whew... barely.

MyPetFly

It is commonly known that models sometimes eat tissue paper when they are hungry. This could be just what our fat american asses need. Eat this all day with water, and crap more due to it. Of course the non-calorie additives they must have to put on it to give it some flavor will give us cancer, but at least the lack of nutrients will make us die quicker from that cancer. Less money spent on health care!

NNTPgrip

Do a sit-up, you fat fucks.

crapcakes

@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->:

"Bristol Stool Scale."

With pictures, no less.

I SOOO want to quote the whole thing here...

MyPetFly

That site is a wealth of the wacky and bizarre. Slim Chips are just the tip of the iceberg.

smegz

The seven types of stool are:

* Type 1: Separate hard lumps, like nuts (hard to pass)
* Type 2: Sausage-shaped, but lumpy
* Type 3: Like a sausage but with cracks on its surface
* Type 4: Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft
* Type 5: Soft blobs with clear cut edges (passed easily)
* Type 6: Fluffy pieces with ragged edges, a mushy stool
* Type 7: Watery, no solid pieces (entirely liquid)

smegz

Oh, btw, I saw something similar to that in some local shoppings.

It's a kinda of cookie/pizza/dunnohowtodescribe thingie made with... some sort of cereal....
Anyways, it's like a huge flat chip shapped like a disk that almost tasteless and has almost 0 calories... for those who can't stay long without chewing something.

I guess the idea is the same.

Bokusatsu_Tenshi

@Zaxxon Q Blaque: This explains why Zaxxon has never been regular....fiber makes your stool softer and easier to pass, both through the intestines and out the pooper. As Dr. Oz says, if your stool doesnt form a C (or S for those big ones), you should eat more fiber and drink more water.

aceball

@smegz: what about type 0: constipation

onewiththewurlitzer

This $#!T already exists. it's called ricecakes. they have almost no calories and are completely bland, unless spices are added (which makes it one of my favorite snacks).

txpunk

@onewiththewurlitzer: or type -1. Bricks.

Parapraxis

That's what I thought the packing peanuts were for.

DeadWriter

Is it in an edible corn-based plastic bag?

klew

SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!

(Sorry, I had to get that out there. That stuff so looks like Soylent.)

DisposableInterloper

Great I'll just eat these after I eat my Canned Bacon on my Canned Burger.

Human Bomb Committed Solaricide

Most Americans don't get nearly enough fiber anyway. THis could help. (Though the flavor selection leaves something to be desired.)

rraszews

D'oh, 'klew' beat me to that ^ one..

pir8matt

Hey maybe they can make the packaging out of corn!

pir8matt

@cablio:

Shouldn't we recycle paper the other way?

@RobLikesbrunch:

Expect to spend more time wiping.

@Joseph: As a kid (5yo), I sold 'dehydrated water' to other kids, even older ones who should've known better. They were just purification tablets, but I told them to just add 1qt of water and they'd have 32oz!

@3waygeek: Dang! Beat me to it! Good shot.

hnkelley