One Billion People Tuned in to See the LHC Break

The CERN scientists said the LHC’s big malfunction this weekend was the result of a “faulty electrical connection between two magnets that stopped superconducting, melted and led to a mechanical failure and let the helium out,” but we snarky Internet folk know better. It was performance anxiety! With more than a billion people tuning in to watch the first proton beams make their way around the 22.5km ring, the LHC just got a little potty shy. “It is quite overwhelming,” said CERN spokesman James Gillies. “We weren’t just on the news, we were top of the news.” And now you’re buried under a mountain of repairs. Get to work so the world can end already! [New Scientist]