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LightMate Pillow Looks Like Glowing Hentai Splooge Monster That Molests You to Sleep
Posted by Matt Buchanan at 4:45 AM on September 6, 2008
Designed by artist Francesca Lanzavecchia, NightMates are "soft anthropomorphic pillows and warming lamps" that are supposed to keep you company (and comfy) at night. They come in different sizes, depending on how much anthropomorphic love you need, but you might wanna stick with the smaller ones that are more like Glo-Worms—the full sized ones are more than a little creepy, like something that slithered off the cover of one of my roommate's NSFW manga collection to do wrong things to you while you sleep. [LightMate via BB via popgadget]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
lilaliendog
Posted 5:04 AM 6/9/08
Is that the dolphin monster thing from Demon Beast Invasion ... cept in pink and yellow
lilaliendog
fusedinertia
Posted 5:02 AM 6/9/08
So that's what happens to all those left over Alien fetuses in jars from the Alien Movies!
fusedinertia
RG_Shrike
Posted 5:00 AM 6/9/08
looks like something my dog threw up.
RG_Shrike
Chromeo
Posted 5:00 AM 6/9/08
Blech...somebody cut the umbilical cord of that thing already and lay it to rest...Gross
Chromeo
oxcar17
Posted 4:53 AM 6/9/08
I would deff. plug this in a GFCI outlet. Who knows what could happen...
oxcar17
Dr.Danger and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Posted 4:52 AM 6/9/08
New product from 3M, Expanding foam "Great Sperm". Just mix fluid with baby juice and wait five minutes. Next thing you know, your woman is engulfed with impregnated bliss.
Dr.Danger and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
jiffy
Posted 4:51 AM 6/9/08
@Git Em SteveDave is starlost: wrong, wrong wrong wrong
jiffy
Novenus
Posted 4:51 AM 6/9/08
I've always wanted a life-size facehugger pillow!
Novenus
jiffy
Posted 4:51 AM 6/9/08
Not sure about the warming, at least not where my head rests.
Also imho: you would have to be single to buy one of these, and if you had one of these in your bed when company came over, you would die single.
jiffy
dukemang
Posted 4:50 AM 6/9/08
Wow. Wow that is disgusting looking.
dukemang
Git Em SteveDave is starlost
Posted 4:49 AM 6/9/08
I haven't been molested to sleep in awhile.
Git Em SteveDave is starlost
Kaiser-Machead on the Edge
Posted 4:48 AM 6/9/08
Looks like a woman and her bioluminescent tapeworm finally settled their differences.
Kaiser-Machead on the Edge
rudeadly
Posted 5:27 AM 6/9/08
HAIL NO.
rudeadly
mildretard
Posted 5:27 AM 6/9/08
There's nothing I can say about this that wasn't summed up in the title of this post. Way to make it hard on us commenters, Buchanan.
And yet Kaiser-Machead on the Edge managed to rise to the occasion.
mildretard
Curves
Posted 5:21 AM 6/9/08
The stuff of nightmares if you ask me.
Curves
ripfire
Posted 5:20 AM 6/9/08
"Tetsuuoooo!!!"
ripfire
darthuv
Posted 5:19 AM 6/9/08
My, my the things Ed Wood could have done with this thing.
"Foam Beasts from Jupiter" coming to YouTube in 90 days!!!
darthuv
ichi1
Posted 5:19 AM 6/9/08
wheres the hole????
ichi1
Rabid Penguin
Posted 5:18 AM 6/9/08
It's a dream catcher.
Rabid Penguin
Jasontrainer
Posted 5:17 AM 6/9/08
You say wrong. I say RIGHT.
Jasontrainer
Git Em SteveDave is starlost
Posted 5:16 AM 6/9/08
@jiffy: I meant as an adult. If that makes it any less wrong.
Git Em SteveDave is starlost
bosskev
Posted 5:09 AM 6/9/08
I like the sales pitch from the source website (emphasis added):
Ummm...provides company? A huge companion you can lay on? What is this supposed to be, some kind of sci-fi blowup doll? And did I somehow miss seeing a vital anatomical feature in the above photo?
No, apparently I did not miss anything. (actual photo from their website)
bosskev
shamoononon has a hebetudinous dog
Posted 5:09 AM 6/9/08
Hey, where'd you get the picture of my boyfriend (again)?
shamoononon has a hebetudinous dog
Phenostar
Posted 5:51 AM 6/9/08
@nutbastard: Isn't that what dirty socks are for?
Phenostar
nutbastard
Posted 5:47 AM 6/9/08
as if the gizmodians didnt already sleep with sperm all over their stomachs...
nutbastard
bobojuice
Posted 5:46 AM 6/9/08
looks like that chick had a date with the green giant and they forgot to clean up.
bobojuice
Phenostar
Posted 5:44 AM 6/9/08
@matt buchanan: "my NSFW manga collection"
There, I fixed that for ya.
No need to be ashamed, you're among friends.
Phenostar
Kaiser-Machead on the Edge
Posted 5:34 AM 6/9/08
@MyPetFly: Now that you mention it, it DOES have that prehistoric viscera appeal to it.
Kaiser-Machead on the Edge
MyPetFly
Posted 5:33 AM 6/9/08
Large bowel from a T. Rex?
MyPetFly
PBRMEASAP
Posted 6:10 AM 6/9/08
L A M E
PBRMEASAP
xmlguy
Posted 6:09 AM 6/9/08
Reminds me of that bit in Empire Strikes Back where Luke sleeps in a bunch of Tauntaun entrails.
xmlguy
MyPetFly
Posted 6:09 AM 6/9/08
@Phenostar:
"aerogel cakes"
Can those be eaten? (Before other uses, of course.)
MyPetFly
Phenostar
Posted 6:03 AM 6/9/08
@MyPetFly: The dirty socks thing was just a joke, I only use fresh aerogel cakes these days.
Phenostar
mildretard
Posted 6:01 AM 6/9/08
@nutbastard: There goes that black bean burrito I had for lunch.
mildretard
kwicherbichin
Posted 6:00 AM 6/9/08
@nutbastard: Nope. That's what my wife is for.
kwicherbichin
Kaiser-Machead on the Edge
Posted 5:59 AM 6/9/08
@Phenostar: @MyPetFly:
You people and your socks. When development is ready, it'd be the perfect blunder reel to show for my Stargate-Fleshlight infomercial.
Kaiser-Machead on the Edge
Needadrink
Posted 5:59 AM 6/9/08
That is just oh so wrong on so many levels. Kinda like "shamoononon has a hebetudinous dog's" avatar.
Needadrink
j05hu4
Posted 5:58 AM 6/9/08
The pillow that the thing hugs is kinda cute though.
j05hu4
MyPetFly
Posted 5:57 AM 6/9/08
@Phenostar:
"Isn't that what dirty socks are for?"
DIRTY socks? You sir, have no class.
Only fresh white cotton for me... or silk when I can afford it.
MyPetFly
ALT
Posted 5:53 AM 6/9/08
@nutbastard: Ah dude, what the fuck!?!
ALT
Phenostar
Posted 7:06 AM 6/9/08
@badhatharry: aaaand checking out.... Now.
/leaves
Phenostar
badhatharry
Posted 6:50 AM 6/9/08
@MyPetFly: Yes. Salty, clumpy tofu.
badhatharry
Fierock
Posted 6:23 AM 6/9/08
looks like a bigger version of the organic game module from ExistenZ
[image.guardian.co.uk]
[extremedia.es]
Fierock
MyPetFly
Posted 6:23 AM 6/9/08
@badhatharry:
"After use they're an excellent source of protein."
Like tofu?
MyPetFly
nutbastard
Posted 6:21 AM 6/9/08
@kwicherbichin:
you sleep with sperm on her stomach???
nutbastard
sir_pantsalot
Posted 6:21 AM 6/9/08
What is the price? I would molest her to sleep for 1/2 of the cost of that blanket.
sir_pantsalot
RE-L
Posted 6:19 AM 6/9/08
Don't know if this happened to anyone else, but when I read the name of the item I read NightMares, instead of NightMates. And yes it has a sexual undertone to the whole description. Except when you look at the photos, which are just sci-fi creepiness.
RE-L
badhatharry
Posted 6:17 AM 6/9/08
@MyPetFly: After use they're an excellent source of protein.
badhatharry
sisedi
Posted 7:36 AM 6/9/08
@ripfire: Ok that was brilliant and since no one else got it, here's something for you *throws props in your direction*
sisedi
WildWon
Posted 7:35 AM 6/9/08
@Kaiser-Machead on the Edge:
Stargate-Fleshlight commercial? That is the geekiest/sexiest things anyone has ever said on this site, ever.
Wait... No, that's what i meant.
WildWon
unspellable
Posted 8:06 AM 6/9/08
@Kaiser-Machead on the Edge: It's more like: 'Looks like a woman and her bioluminescent colon finally settled their differences.'
unspellable
AdmNaismith
Posted 8:38 AM 6/9/08
Something cozy from the 'David Cronenberg HOME Collection'.
(Or the worm from Poltergeist II.)
Seriously, yecch.
AdmNaismith
madog
Posted 10:30 AM 6/9/08
Greatest headline eva! Thank you!
madog
BiZarRroBALlmeR
Posted 10:05 AM 6/9/08
Bukake
BiZarRroBALlmeR
shamoononon has a hebetudinous dog
Posted 9:57 AM 6/9/08
Kings Kongs Hemroid?
shamoononon has a hebetudinous dog
Amiash Day Five
Posted 10:49 AM 6/9/08
interesting..really i wonder how it lights.
Amiash Day Five
MastaFalse
Posted 1:44 PM 6/9/08
Awesome headline.
MastaFalse
biofreak
Posted 2:18 PM 6/9/08
It's an evolved gaming console from eXistenZ.
biofreak
twoohfour
Posted 2:36 PM 6/9/08
Easily one of the best headlines ever written on gizmodo, or anywhere, easily.
twoohfour
skulldriveshaft
Posted 2:32 PM 6/9/08
It was like that when we got here...
Symbiotic relationships of the future...
skulldriveshaft
xashinx
Posted 2:56 PM 6/9/08
It looks like a giant tampon...that exploded but retained its shape. Hence the lumpiness.
xashinx
ChelseaCosta
Posted 7:49 PM 6/9/08
zOMG I totally have that in the all new "Vibe Edition"!
ChelseaCosta
undeadmachine
Posted 4:39 AM 7/9/08
this was clearly invented by minions of the old ones to preemptively lull us into a state of acceptance and comfort regarding our future slavery and total domination...
undeadmachine