How Android Will Help Google Profile You

The first Android phone is dropping next week, and the people who pick it up will be toting around mobile Google software in their pocket wherever they go. They’ll be using mobile Google apps, probably in concert with using Gmail, Gcal and Google Maps on their normal computer. We know that Google is tossing out all user data after 9 months, but you’ve got to wonder what kind of a picture Google is getting of its heavy users like that when it’s only getting info from how its apps are used. After the jump, an imagined day in the life of a Google user, as recorded and perceived by the Googleplex itself.

07:36:04: Application — Gmail
User reads 1 new emails
Keywords: dinner, match.com, reply, date

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male/Female

07:43:38: Application — Search
Search Term: italian restaurant upper east side manhattan
Search Term: italian restaurant upper east side manhattan cheap
Search Term: creampies

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker

08:31:17: Application — Gmail
User sends 1 new email
Keywords: dinner, meet, Ford Fiesta

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income

08:40:03: Application — Search
Search Term: vern troyer sex tape

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist

11:01:12: Application — Google Reader
Feed read: Gizmodo
Feed read: Kotaku
Feed read: Cute Overload
Feed read: Gothamist
Feed read: Gizmodo
Feed read: Kottke
Feed read: Boing Boing
Feed read: Fleshbot

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller

12:14:30: Application — Google Maps Mobile
Search Term: SuperCuts
Near: Current Location

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate

12:59:08: Application — Mobile Search
Search Term: slimming pants

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure

13:01:56: Application — Google Maps Mobile
Search Term: H&M
Near: Current Location

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy

13:42:12: Application — Google Maps Mobile
Search Term: Florist
Near: Current Location

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative

14:19:31: Application — Search
Search Term: dating tips
Search Term: first dates
Search Term: halitosis cure
Search Term: bang bus

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin

14:55:00: Application — GCal
Reminder: Sales Meeting in Five Minutes Sent via: Text

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Boring Job Holder

17:13:49: Application — Google Reader
Feed read: Gizmodo
Feed read: Fleshbot

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Boring Job Holder, Porn Addict

18:51:10: Application — Google Maps Mobile
Start Location: Current Location
End Location: Olive Garden

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Boring Job Holder, Porn Addict, Fat, Not Italian

19:15:03: Application — Mobile Gmail
User sends 1 new email
Keywords: date, forgot, still here

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Boring Job Holder, Porn Addict, Fat, Not Italian, Pathetic

19:20:41: Application — Mobile Gmail
User reads 0 new emails

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Porn Addict, Fat, Not Italian, So Pathetic

19:26:11: Application — Mobile Gmail
User reads 0 new emails

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Porn Addict, Fat, Not Italian, So Pathetic, Desperate

19:31:55: Application — Mobile Gmail
User reads 0 new emails

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Porn Addict, Fat, Not Italian, So Pathetic, So Desperate

19:40:21: Application — Google Maps Mobile
Search Term: Strip Club
Near: Current Location

Current Demographic Profile: Benny Goldman