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Happy Landing Zipline Rescues You (And Child) From Exploding Buildings
Posted by Mark Wilson at 4:00 AM on September 26, 2008
The picture is funny, but the invention is actually legitimately neat. The Alongo Happy Landing Escaper is a wire system that mounts to an emergency exit or beefy window frame, deploys mechanically (without a need for electricity) and allows riders up to 180 kg to slowly descend from a high rise building safely while wearing just a modest safety harness.
We're assuming that without someone on the ground, the wire drops straight down without an anchor, but the bundled Alongo Hook tempers speeds automatically so you don't just plummet to your death. The only humorous point (beyond these splendid action pictures) is that the system is set for users to carry the child, without any additional harness for little ones. In other words, hold on tight during your 20-floor descent. Because playing Batman is probably harder than it looks. [Alongo]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Curves Wants a Classic View Default
Posted 4:38 AM 26/9/08
@bosskev: Leave it to you to catch that. I sort of meant strap on the harness to the zip line, but, hey, I am all about whatever consenting adults agree to. ;)
Curves Wants a Classic View Default
badhatharry
Posted 4:38 AM 26/9/08
@WD40: Is the Firefox logo attacking the first building?
badhatharry
maztec
Posted 4:37 AM 26/9/08
Why are we being re-sued for landing from exploding buildings? Have we not already been harmed enough?
maztec
venomous_duck41
Posted 4:35 AM 26/9/08
What if you have more than one kid? Are there extra harnesses?
"Sorry Timmy but since you didnt take out the trash like you were asked, were taking Sara. No hard feelings, right?"
venomous_duck41
Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->
Posted 4:35 AM 26/9/08
@Xavoc: Well, it would they would be re-suing you. I'd rather plummet then to be sued again.
Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->
Redwraithvienna
Posted 4:32 AM 26/9/08
@OMG! Ponies!:
Didnt Bush say "Dont let the terrorists win, spend money" ? He was just doing the thing his CIC orderer himn to do... and got a discount
Redwraithvienna
WD40
Posted 4:28 AM 26/9/08
I totally LOVE the photo-chop flames!!!
WD40
OMG! Ponies!
Posted 4:28 AM 26/9/08
@Xavoc: For the vulturism.
OMG! Ponies!
ryanprice
Posted 4:27 AM 26/9/08
definitely has some kind of harness, though with a little effort i'm sure the child (or parent) could easily slip out.
ryanprice
The Folding Chair Security Intern
Posted 4:25 AM 26/9/08
@klaybc: Triangle-man hates Alongo-man...
What, wrong song?
The Folding Chair Security Intern
siville
Posted 4:22 AM 26/9/08
..."pounds to slowly descend from"...
If I need to get out of a building through the window, I'll be darned if I want to go slowly! I want that thing to go fast enough to meke me roll on impact. Get me out of the danger zone real quick please.
~*~* Look out below *~*
siville
venomous_duck41
Posted 4:22 AM 26/9/08
What if you have more than one child??? Are there extra harnesses?
"Well Timmy since you didn't take the trash out last week like we asked you to, were going to take Sara and leave you behind, no hard feelings."
venomous_duck41
Xavoc
Posted 4:22 AM 26/9/08
@s017jrs: It's just a descending apparatus w/ a mechanism for slowing itself. Otherwise that zip line would end with you smacking into the ground/anchor device anyway.
Xavoc
bosskev
Posted 4:22 AM 26/9/08
@Curves Wants a Classic View Default: Funny. I never considered you to be a strap on kind of gal...
bosskev
melikespi
Posted 4:19 AM 26/9/08
@ILoveToast:
Agreed
melikespi
Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->
Posted 4:19 AM 26/9/08
@Curves Wants a Classic View Default: @OMG! Ponies!: I maintained that after the first WTC attack (the one that wasn't done by the gov'ment j/k), if I ever worked in a tall building, I would either own a surplus parachute or a 500' length of rope. I also said a life vest in case I landed in water. Everyone laughed at me. They even called me crazy.
Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->
Xavoc
Posted 4:18 AM 26/9/08
@Rustabout: Dammit!
Xavoc
hagrun
Posted 4:18 AM 26/9/08
Why o WHY couldn't they have called that "Happy Ending"?!?!
hagrun
Xavoc
Posted 4:18 AM 26/9/08
@7raczyk: Maybe it is meant to give you a second chance at suing the builder, airline, terrorist, John McClain?
Xavoc
Xavoc
Posted 4:17 AM 26/9/08
@OMG! Ponies!: For not being open before 9/11? I took a vacation the week after 9/11, flew on a plane. Disney World was fucking deserted! No lines for rides, no lines for shows, it was the most amazing vacation I've ever had. Hell, they gave us 75% off the hotel room price while we were there, at the Swan.
Xavoc
s017jrs
Posted 4:15 AM 26/9/08
@Xavoc:
Something about the idea of taking an unanchored zipline from the top of a building just doesn't do it for me.
Rap all the way.
s017jrs
ILoveToast
Posted 4:12 AM 26/9/08
Call me crazy but if you look closely at the pics the kids are definitely in some sort of strap.
ILoveToast
7raczyk
Posted 4:12 AM 26/9/08
You misspelled "rescues" in the title. You need to use spell check on Firefox before posting.
7raczyk
Rustabout
Posted 4:11 AM 26/9/08
@Xavoc:
Sadly they can't as their Bank Loan was refused...
Rustabout
weatherman
Posted 4:09 AM 26/9/08
Happy Landing = Jump-n-Tug
weatherman
Xavoc
Posted 4:09 AM 26/9/08
But the real question is can they use this line to deliver delicious snacks?
Xavoc
OMG! Ponies!
Posted 4:07 AM 26/9/08
They used to have stuff like this in a store that opened shop about a month after September 11. The store was in lower Manhattan less than 1/4 mile from Ground Zero.
The place went out of business a long time ago, which is a shame because I always wanted to throw a cinder block through the window.
I still wish I had.
OMG! Ponies!
Curves Wants a Classic View Default
Posted 4:06 AM 26/9/08
Silly as it looks, if I lived (or worked) in a high rise I might consider it. I am not much for heights, but if its a choice between certain death and a zipline, I would strap on and jump.
Curves Wants a Classic View Default
MagnoliaBoy
Posted 4:06 AM 26/9/08
That's like, the funnest way of escaping death I've ever seen!
MagnoliaBoy
Xavoc
Posted 4:06 AM 26/9/08
@Geisrud: On-belay!
Xavoc
Xavoc
Posted 4:04 AM 26/9/08
Well, the guy technically wouldn't need to hold on to the wire like he is, he could just hold on to the child with both arms. As for putting a child in a harness, have you ever seen how long it takes to put a child into a car seat, let alone strap them into a webbed safety harness??
Xavoc
Geisrud
Posted 4:04 AM 26/9/08
I prefer rappelling...Or abseiling as they say across the pond.
Geisrud
Seinosuke
Posted 4:04 AM 26/9/08
My mommy is Spider-man!
Seinosuke
klaybc
Posted 4:03 AM 26/9/08
Alongo-man, Alongo-man
Does whatever an Alongo-man can
klaybc
Jrod22too
Posted 4:58 AM 26/9/08
@Xavoc: Best show ever!
Jrod22too
DaneB
Posted 4:56 AM 26/9/08
Isn't that a harness on the children in BOTH pictures? I mean, yes, you would still have to hold them, but there IS a harness pictured.
DaneB
ArrogantAce
Posted 4:42 AM 26/9/08
a zip line that sues me after already suing me! thats some innovative lawyer tech right there. call it the save-and-sue
ArrogantAce
Xavoc
Posted 5:18 AM 26/9/08
@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->: Well, the individuals in the photo are asian, and as far as I know they could be Chinese attempting to escape persecution from illegally being reincarnated without prior state approval. So, once they safely hit the ground, the government will safely resue them, as it is illegal to kill yourself. The government needs to do it, and then send the bill for the bullet to your family. Duh!
Xavoc
stryder100
Posted 5:00 AM 26/9/08
Me want. That looks like fun.
stryder100
BeerFox
Posted 5:32 AM 26/9/08
I think I saw the quick-descent version from Japan:
+ Watch video
I hope they've improved the design!
BeerFox
ripfire
Posted 5:29 AM 26/9/08
@MagnoliaBoy: "OMG! We're going to die! Weeeeeeeee!"
ripfire
Toshie
Posted 5:28 AM 26/9/08
@OMG! Ponies!: I think you could probably make more money selling cinderblocks next to his window. :-) As you know, for several years there you couldn't walk a single block in Manhattan without having some streethawkerasshat trying to sell you a WTC commemorative this or that. It took a lot of self control to stay out of prison...
Toshie
ExNinja
Posted 5:27 AM 26/9/08
What's the length of the cable?
"...yes I'm currently dangling from the 37th floor".
ExNinja
fastm3driver
Posted 5:26 AM 26/9/08
Except the part of the house it is connected too could also be on fire.
fastm3driver
Toshie
Posted 5:24 AM 26/9/08
@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->: Surplus parachute? There's one on eBay, "ESTATE SALE: used once, red stain, AS-IS!!"...
Toshie
aec007
Posted 5:55 AM 26/9/08
@BeerFox:
Actually that Japanese version looks quite dangerous. The fall was too fast.
I went to Alongo's site and although the system seems a bit complicated to setup, the "sling hook" is a winner!...It can easily zip or ropel down anyone at a safe controlled speed without any user input.
Check the video (slow loading) [www.alongroup.com.tw] to see the "sling hook" in action.
Excellent hook design. I can see the system having good merit for the effort.
If I lived in a hi-rise, I would order one right away. Period.
aec007
The Amazing Ant
Posted 5:53 AM 26/9/08
@Rustabout: Well then, they'll just have to solve a case or something, won't they? That'll clear things up.
@Jrod22too: Agreed.
The Amazing Ant
EricAlder
Posted 6:51 AM 26/9/08
Mom:
Honey, wake up! Quick!
Dad:
Huh? What?
Mom:
Our apartment building's on fire! We've gotta take Junior down on the Alongo!
Dad:
Okay! Wait, who's taking him? You or me? It won't hold all three of us, y'know!
Mom:
I know, I thought of that when we bought the Alongo... but don't worry, I've got you covered!
(Digs through closet) Here! (Hands husband parachute)
Dad:
What?!? But I've never para-
Mom:
Well, NOW would be a good time to learn, don't you think?!? See you on the ground honey! Love you!
(Mom leaps out the window with Junior and zips down to safety on the Alongo)
EricAlder
AlphaUltima
Posted 6:41 AM 26/9/08
Now how does it prevent hoodlums like me from getting on it just for the mere fun of it?
AlphaUltima
SgtToastie
Posted 6:59 AM 26/9/08
Digging the photoshop. And to those of you who reply "would you rather the pictures be of people rappelling from real burning buildings" my answer is yes.
SgtToastie
misterwho
Posted 7:52 AM 26/9/08
-Tom: OK, here we go, glad I'm prepared for a situation like this.
-Grabs the zip line and jumps out the window.
-Screams obscenities as other similarly prepared Alongo owners smash windows above him.
-Tom dies in the shower of falling glass.
-His final thought: "Can't we all just get Alongo?"
misterwho
s017jrs
Posted 7:36 AM 26/9/08
gah. take all the fun out of it whydoncha!
s017jrs
burningsensation
Posted 7:35 AM 26/9/08
can this become a replacement for elevators? i mean, it uses less energy, we can pitch it as being green (and badass)
burningsensation
Whoopsi
Posted 8:11 AM 26/9/08
Soon after 9/11 I remember seeing a news clip of a sales person promoting personal parachutes to keep in the office. Claiming people could easily put on the chute and jump out of a window to safety. But the hilarious part was he had a colleague demonstrate how easy it was to put on the chute. But his partner couldn't get it on he kept insisting to the anchor that it was so easy. Anyway... this reminded me of that, and now I can't find the video. Has anyone else seen it and have a link?
Whoopsi
Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->
Posted 9:57 AM 26/9/08
@Toshie: Found on man at base of cliff with ring on finger. Possible suicide.
Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->
Kajo
Posted 1:56 AM 27/9/08
For commercial applications, with a 400 lb. limit I could strap on a svelte secretary. Add a harness and I could strap on two petite secretaries for a three-way zip [Survival of the Fittest].
Kajo
TheCapt
Posted 3:31 AM 27/9/08
Someone with time google this, but I believe this system was designed initially by a kid in junior high or something. His design was that each floor would have them and speed you down a distance, then slow the descent for the last few feet/floors.
The problem with this I see has been eluded to before and that is the people above you. Now if they staggered it a bit from floor to floor, that may work, plus have multiples of these units so that when worker A goes down, worker B disconnects the unit and connects their own.
I'd prefer the flip out batwings myself.
TheCapt