@DeusExMach: This does:

lankysob

'See how sturdy we are on these skates? That's how sturdy Android is. Even though he has his hand on my shoulder, doesn't mean anything. We still stand strong. (you may just have to call customer support every day)

link12245

They are my techno-heroes...

Omar Mojica

Introducing Google Skate!

thegadgeteer

Larry and Sergey stopped to consider whether riding into a product launch on rollerblades would make them look like bigger douchebags than Steve Jobs riding a iPod branded Segway scooter, but decided that being richer than Croesus means you never have to say "I care."

mobiusmuse

it would have been better if they dressed up as R2D2 & 3CPO.

aphxtwn

"Larry, do I look fatter than Steve Jobs does?"

Morpheous

We have so much money now, we have to do stuff like this to STOP supermodels from having sex with us.

EBone

"Rufus dude, something is wrong ... we were set to go to 1988 ..."

aelver

"The plasma powered engines in these roller blades are powered by our own sense of self-worth. Plus Google Maps + GPS are built in!"

(We may mock, but strangely enough I saw a gang of young punks, junior hs to high school age, rollerblading up LaFayette's bike lane this past weekend. Seriously, I was like WTF this is cool again? Well this time they had skinny jeans on - falling off their asses of course - instead of giant JNCO jeans. 90's nostalgia is creeping back, ya'll.)

jibbly

"Now everybody can find their G spot"

LordieLordie

dude on the laptop: "man, they're such duchebags"
Asian dude in the background: "man, they're such duchebags, and hot too!! triple threat!"

striggity

"Kenan Thompson was just showing us his 'Knuckle Puck' outside. We just came in for some Sunny D."

ChibiKyKiske

"and if you type in 'Too rich for sense' and hit the I'm feeling lucky button...."

simplegreen

"You know what is hard about being rich? Spending money on stupid things and not looking stupid"

Log1c

We are two wild and crazy guys!

Lupison

@lindsey8675: My friend loved it when I told him that joke.

Log1c

This is what happens when super geniuses miss out on a childhood.

Lupison

"Hey ladies, check out what me and 'The Serge' just picked up at Express! Aren't they fabulous!"

Easyrider

"My new app tells me when I throw the device in the air, how long it takes till you I it using the integrated accelerometer. It also tells me how fast I hit the deck when some kid threw a stick in front of me while I was on my way to this press conference."

trek1394

"The blond leading the blind.."

LordieLordie

And you'll all find in your swag bags, hot pink short shorts!

WesTheYeti

"...but can you guess where we stuck our old shoes?"

92BuickLeSabre

"See? We can do this because we can afford Health Care."
"That's right... HEALTH CARE."

UrIt

Sorry. They were all sold out of black mock turtlenecks.

OMG! Ponies!

"...and I said, 'Well, if you only date men over 5'2"...'"

92BuickLeSabre

"And now to the question I'm sure you'll asking yourselves....Why are we standing in a pink-lit castle?"

92BuickLeSabre

the new google "androids"

dislexiq

@Kaspir: G3: Buttplug edition, just as useless as version 1 and too.

robot-shmobot

Sergey and Larry - Making Woz Look Cool By Comparison

OMG! Ponies!

"Guess what, Larry?"
"What, Surgey?"
"I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance..."

FatalFlaw

They see me rollin'...

P3nnst8r

"I'm Rick James Bitch! - Now Buy Android!"

oper451

I LOVE THESE ROLLERBLADES!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOO

blakebell

Larry and Sergey were tricked into buying those new Ronco Anti-Dorkness shoes. Didn't work.

phenderson

"Lets roll over some fruit tuh-day"

snowy_coke

"What's the deal with airplane food..."

dirigoDIGITAL

"We found that we laughed so hard on our way to the bank we'd often trip and fall while walking. Not anymore."

DustyButt

'What's the deal with airplane food..."

dirigoDIGITAL

"Whats even harder than rollerblading to a press conference?
Telling them you're gay"

lindsey8675

how do you like my V-6 twin-turbo active-suspension rollers?

Raidah

"G2: Rollerblade Edition, no hands required"

Kaspir

Whoa dude, this phone is fast!

noone1569

they pay us extra to work in rollerblades all day. like at sonic.

agoolsbee

You mean they didn't just get back from playing roller hockey in the parking lot?

Odd_Thomas

...what shows up as the first entry for "Ridonkulous" in Google Image Search.

DeusExMach

"Hey Larry, do people like us now?"
"I don't know Sergey. We're cool now aren't we?"

Tweak

"Da ha ha herrrrrrrrrrrr daaahaha"

"Weeeeeeee!"

Kaiser-Machead on the Edge

"We own F!@#$%^ Google.....we do what we want !!"

ryanbish

Oh, sorry, caption...

"Yes that is a G1 in my pocket...but I'm still happy to see you"

mdoublej

Anyone else pissed the G1 doesn't have UMA (Hotspot@Home)?
Seems retarded from the company that wants to push the technology.

ManoloDF

"We're much too rich to touch the ground you poor people walk on, BUY OUR PHONE!!! MUWHAHAHAHAHA."

Mr_Nowitt

"Yes the G1 IS just as cool as these roller blades, I swear on these roller blades it is."

danatoth

Don't knock Dippin Dots...it's the ice cream of the future...for the last 20 years.

mdoublej

To differentiate ourselves from a drunk - George Clooney look alike and a horny "I just woke up, look at my hair" teenager, we are rollerblading. But it doesn't matter. We are filthy rich. See!

mvivas

If Steve Balmer can make an idiot of himself, so can we!

dondgc

"The first of many "Android" enhancements, to come."

Mr_Nowitt

"That's how we roll!"

Mr_Nowitt

you mean superheros DON'T wear rollerblades? to the googlepoles!

godwhacker

Whats the hardest part of roller blading???

Telling your parents that you're gay...

nameSpencer

"they see us rollin'...

...they hatin'."

raoul_duke

"Atomic Dog"

JohnDeere

"Now, my partner will shove his microphone up my ass. We'll see if that has any effect on my rollerblading ability."

smegz

You see the lump in my pocket? Yeah? Guess what...

It's an iPhone!
Now buy the GPhone...
Fools.
Mwahahahahaha!
WEEEEEEEEEEE!

sobadaya

"Oh, and one more thing. Next week, we'll be on the new season of 'Beauty and the Geek'. Check your local listings for times and stations. Good afternoon and thanks for coming!"

taylors_dad

"In addition to Android, we're pleased to announce another new Google service : Pimp my Blades"

"We think Pimp my Ride is too closed source, so we're going to be taking open-source rollerblade designs and open-source pimping them!"

Nickolai_the_Russian_guy

Nike + iPod? = SUX
G1 + Rollerblades = HIP

jonahtaxt

"So I thought, 'no. This is a solid bet. There is no way Bill Gates can say the alphabet after eating seven crackers.'

badhatharry

"I'm so awkward!!!"

MrBlahBlah

"We have all this money and we can't even get Segways? LAME..."

Polybius

Gotta make a move to a Town that's right for me. doodoo doot doot too doot doo doo doot
Town to keep me movin' Keep me groovin' with some energy
doodoo doot doot too doot doo doo doot

Well, I talk about it Talk about it Talk about it..

ripfire

@OMG! Ponies!: Finally! Someone was bound to say it.

CYST!

We heard that ACL reconstruction is really expensive, so we had to get some. After some brief research we decided on rollerblading as the most likely avenue toward blown knee ligaments!

bpapa9013

ripfire FTW!

Dilznoofus

We are two wild and crazy billionaire guys!

Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->

@Odd_Thomas: They were playing on the roof of Google till someone knocked the only ball off and into a sewer. Now they want to know where all the gatorade went.

Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->

"We put our roller blades on one at a time, just like every one else. It's just that when our blades our on we control the flow of information to all people of the Earth."

Kajo

"After the Seinfeld fiasco Microsoft decided it needed two younger billionaires to connect with real people in their new ad campaign."

yourfaceisjon

@badhatharry:

lol

godwhacker

"first you get the web company, then you get the rollerblades, then you get the khakis, then you get the women."

hothstudios

"You Rock - We Roll"

or...

"Welcome to Sonic - how can I help you?"

ksat

@ChibiKyKiske: nice.

CYST!

@akacrash: rollerblading, though? c'mon!.......C'MON!

CYST!

Oh, and for the caption contest:

"What is this 'segway' you keep asking about?"

akacrash

Hey! I still rollerblade! In face I'm going out skating tonight with my club.

www.landskaters.org

Just cuz you rotund, pasty-white geeks think Halo = exercise doesn't mean the rest of the world can't go outside to play.

:p

akacrash

"At least we're not screaming 'Developers' repeatedly while attempting to start an inappropriate slow clap in a sweat laden haze on stage."

Xavoc

2SWM. Billionaires. We never got invited to Malibu Grand Prix. Still loves Twisted Metal 2 on PS1 and streethockey. Hit us on our Androids. Love to meet you soon.......LAY-DEEEEEZ.

CYST!

"The guy who sold us these insisted that they were segways"

Whisssper

We'd like to take this opportunity to also unveil our "Do you feel lucky?" personal grooming and wardrobe button, exclusively available from the Google Android Store.

*Rollerblades NOT Included.

im2fools

That one Billionaire appears to have lipstick on his teeth.

-or maybe he's eating an orange or something.

Either way I can get that look for pennies.

strider_mt2k

"They see us rollin'...
...they hatin'."

raoul_duke

"We would like to announce that we are funding and staring a 2.0 updated of Starlight Express."

zero1

"The whole Microsoft rivalry is way overstated. Bill Gates sent us these cool skates! Sure, I almost fell and broke my neck several times, but it's the thought that counts..."

Toshie

Those are actually the new GoogleBlades. Google has partnered with industry leaders to change the face of rollerblading.

Digo

"I wear roller blades and I'm a PC and we are not gay!"
>
"Come on Ballmer and Seinfeld, next ad we are going to be in roller blades damn it."
>
"Damn It! Its not roller blades that Billionaires ride, its Segways dude. We look so gay right now!"

TheLoneGod

What is better and more respectable than a Segway?

The G1!

J. Shirley

"These are the new Segway prototype, all the billionaires are wearin' 'em. They're throwbacks to the way commoners used to travel."

saruxiii

Looks like a new age bar mitzvah

aeroworks

"great news folks, we are just rolling out the supa-dupa Android, or is it the other way around?"

laio

Introducing Googleblades- they're free!*

*by wearing Googleblades, you give Google a perpetual, irrevocable, worldwide, royalty-free, and non-exclusive license to all life lived while wearing Googleblades. Google, inc. may adapt, modify, or terminate all life lived during stated wearing period.

Segador

Skates > Segway! Nuff Said!

Krrong

"ROLLIN ON 22's (in centimeters)"

Bdlevin

Forget UPS and FedEx! We're going to personally deliver each and every phone to our customers.

ttrimble

"...but our favorite feature of the G1 is the ability to transport yourself back in time to the year 1994! No, sorry, it ONLY goes to 1994."

BruzeWayne

"They see us rollin...they hatin..."

Skinnebrew

"We're sorry for the roller blades - Amazon repossessed our Segways!"

The Nemrel

Billon Dollar Fruit Booters!

Faslane66

Our Segway's are in the shop.

SirDrinksalot

In an effort to correct society on the pronunciation of their company's name, executives of Google (pronounced go-ogle) made their latest product announcements on rollerblades, so that people would properly judge and leer at them, in the sprit of their company's namesake.

subryu

"We can take over the entire internet, on rollerblades."

Tmacfan4321

Larry: "We even have new suits! That's hip, Right?"
Sergey: "Mens Warehouse. Your going to like the way you look. I guarantee it."
Larry:"Ads by us. By the way, Ads will go on the phone as well!"

Hackintosh

"Our Google Analytics polled the journalists in this office and found that you would be more receptive to our message if we wore the rollerblades."
-Larry

"Yeah, it was either that or Manga Cosplay outfits - our PR department made that choice for us. Ha-ha-ha. No but seriously folks, check out android"
-Sergey

merebito

snowplow, snowplow.......

BiZarRroBALlmeR

Rollin in my six four.

BiZarRroBALlmeR

"It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A! It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!"

DaSmith

"Who is shaving on the plane?"

theweakonomist

"Let incompetent, close-minded Gizmodo bloggers write crap on us - we dont give an eff"

hellomms

The original two Google Androids play chase followed by a rousing tickle fight to find the new phone.

Oakland510

Larry: "Sergey, they all look like ants from up here."
Sergey: "They are ants Larry, THEY ARE ANTS!"

Trowble (XBL/PSN)

"Now as we roll down the aisle please remain very still, we will be collecting DNA samples from everyone whether you like it or not."
(Sergey)"Come on people, I showed you mine now you show me yours."

chinapat

"Money can't buy me love"

Jraktal

"they are stealing this post as we speak"

enchantedgoose

Have fun picking your feet up and putting them back down, plebs!

bmocbarker

Yeaaah! That's right ladies. Uh-huh. We're billionaires too!

bmocbarker