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Olympic Gold Medalist Would Like to Thank the Wii
Posted by Mark Wilson at 11:15 PM on August 12, 2008
That Nintendo Wii, what will it think up next? It's made us smarter and fitter and stronger and just so much better. Oh, and have you heard? Now it's creating OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALISTS. Japanese swimmer Kosuke Kitajima just took the gold in the 100-meter breaststroke, and instead of thanking God or his trainers in typical fashion, he gave another performance enhancer a shout-out:
See, Mario does the breaststroke. And thus, it's perfect mental training for envisioning the actual Olympic hall.
Yes, that's the power of the Nintendo Wii when it's running Sega's Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games. Flailing the Wiimote around in jack-off motion really can make you the athlete you'd always dreamed of being.
To Kitajima's credit, he did say that quote above jokingly. Then again, he did say it. [Hochi Yomiuri via Kotaku]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
frigg
Posted 11:38 PM 12/8/08
@godwhacker: and the world comes to the end, not with a bang, but with a Wiimper. /fixed.
frigg
P3nnst8r has returned on the Graces of Brian Ashcraft
Posted 11:37 PM 12/8/08
What kinda Wii games involve stroking breasts?
P3nnst8r has returned on the Graces of Brian Ashcraft
lldsandsll
Posted 11:33 PM 12/8/08
I would have preferred "in a jack-off motion" to be "jack-offingly"
lldsandsll
Hectorvex
Posted 11:22 PM 12/8/08
"Flailing the Wiimote around in jack-off motion really can make you the athlete you'd always dreamed of being."
I've been doing that motion since I was 14 and I'm no Olympic Athlete. At most I can jog around the bases half sober at a company Softball game without getting too winded.
Hectorvex
godwhacker
Posted 11:19 PM 12/8/08
and the world comes to the end, not with a bang, but with a shout out to the wii
godwhacker
NNTPgrip
Posted 12:02 AM 13/8/08
I used the "jack-off motion" while watching the polish women's volleyball team and ended up shorting out my DVR from all the way across the room.
NNTPgrip
Jackson the Narcisisst
Posted 11:59 PM 12/8/08
Kosuke Kitajima's Bank Account - 110,083,414 Yen richer
Nintendo Corp's Bank Account - 110,083,414 Yen poorer
Jackson the Narcisisst
OMG! Ponies!
Posted 11:58 PM 12/8/08
Someone should do some research to find out how often his dog has humped him.
OMG! Ponies!
hu_hu_cool
Posted 11:57 PM 12/8/08
@donfun: wait till the american wins
hu_hu_cool
godwhacker
Posted 11:55 PM 12/8/08
@frigg:
nice, i see what you did there.......
godwhacker
GeekyNerdGuy
Posted 11:51 PM 12/8/08
I attempted to train like this, but there's not many ladies that will allow me to attempt the breaststroke with my wii.
GeekyNerdGuy
donfun
Posted 11:46 PM 12/8/08
At least he didn't thank his iPhone...
donfun
Bachblast
Posted 11:45 PM 12/8/08
does playing the Wii cause one to have to wear eye wear like that in the pic?
Bachblast
Rabid Penguin
Posted 12:11 AM 13/8/08
@Rabid Penguin: I almost forgot... all praise to Nintendo.
phew, that was close.
Rabid Penguin
Rabid Penguin
Posted 12:10 AM 13/8/08
@Jackson the Narcisisst: I think in Japan you have to pay homage to Nintendo for any success you have or they throw poison laced shuriken at you, and make you commit Seppuku.
Rabid Penguin
robo
Posted 12:10 AM 13/8/08
Haha seconding that someone got themselves an endorsement deal.
Let's all not forget that Nintendo is Japan's biggest company by market cap...
robo
ttech10
Posted 12:55 AM 13/8/08
Is that all he said about it or did he actually mention the Wii? Because that statement makes me think of Mario on the 64 more than the Wii.
ttech10
Rabid Penguin
Posted 1:24 AM 13/8/08
@bbfreak: I'll be your second.
Rabid Penguin
Luuey
Posted 1:13 AM 13/8/08
So, what does he do? Turn the game on, stand there, and envision actually being there? Congrats on his Gold, but giving the wii credit? please.
Luuey
bbfreak
Posted 1:11 AM 13/8/08
I suck. -_-
bbfreak
bbfreak
Posted 1:11 AM 13/8/08
I mean isn't that damned if you do@Rabid Penguin: I mean isn't that damned if you do and damned if you don't?
bbfreak
bbfreak
Posted 1:03 AM 13/8/08
@Rabid Penguin: What about Sony?
bbfreak
iomatic
Posted 2:55 AM 13/8/08
So wait, Phelps lost? Holy cow. See, we need the Wii fit.
iomatic
Aneurhythmia
Posted 3:27 AM 13/8/08
@lldsandsll: Is it "jack-offingly" or "jackingly-off"?
Aneurhythmia
ReynaldoRiv
Posted 4:12 AM 13/8/08
@Aneurhythmia: It would be jack-offingly since jacking-off is a single action.
You want to describe the entire action of jacking-off, not of Jacking.
ReynaldoRiv
ReynaldoRiv
Posted 4:10 AM 13/8/08
@bbfreak: That's what she said hehe
/moment knee jerk reaction
Actually if you look at the picture, she's still there. Just look at his ecstatic face ;)
ReynaldoRiv
Aneurhythmia
Posted 6:40 AM 13/8/08
@ReynaldoRiv: But you just formed the gerund as "jacking-off" rather than "jack-offing."
Aneurhythmia
TokyoDevil
Posted 7:29 PM 13/8/08
Actually, Kitajima-kun is a good guy. He was probably taking the piss with the Japanese media, who, as a group, are slightly more intelligent than pond scum and as persistent as jock itch.
TokyoDevil