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Miss IFA Shows Us Her Jewels, and Her Philips and Swarovski Crystals Too
Posted by Jesus Diaz at 1:50 AM on August 29, 2008
Ah Miss IFA, Miss IFA... Miss IFA with your--fake--red hair, Miss IFA with your--real--long legs, Miss IFA with your really big Philips and Swarovski Active Crystals... how much do we love thee? Let me count the ways.
Ah Miss IFA, Miss IFA... Miss IFA with your--fake--red hair, Miss IFA with your--real--long legs, Miss IFA with your really big Philips and Swarovski Active Crystals... how much do we love thee? Let me count the ways.
One, because you put the "Miss" in IFA. Two, because of the way your sweet voice sounds when you tell us "zee Active Crystals Happy Laura USB memory bracelet iz not werking rait, sorry." It's like listening to a Valkyrie singing like an angel in a Wagner opera. But you don't make us want to invade Poland. And you know that's good, Miss IFA. Because invading Poland is wrong.
Anyway, don't worry about the 2GB Happy Laura or the Naughty Raymond. It's not your fault. Nothing is. You are the brightest and the fairest and the most beautiful of all the Miss IFAs out there. Yes, you are the only Miss IFA ever, but if there were four or five of them, I'm sure you will still be one of the most beautiful Miss IFAs. But I digress...
Where was I... Ah, three! Three, because we love how you wear that pretty pretty Breeze Bluetooth headset, with 5 hours of talking time. It would look nice on any girl, as a necklace or in her ear. And you are a girl, Miss IFA. That's why it just fits you perfectly. The white model looks great next to your red-dyed hair but, somehow, seeing the black one right there, hanging, makes our sugar underpants melt. Yes, Miss IFA, I'm wearing edible sugar underpants. Just to let you know, Jason gave me a pair for my birthday for when an occasion like this arose.
Four, because only your swan neck could wear that 2GB Crystal Chrome Moon USB memory key like you do, driving our eyes to prohibited places. OK, maybe not so prohibited, Miss IFA, but you know what I mean. Yes, you do.
So there you go. Not one, or two, or three, but four ways of loving you and your Philips Swarovski Active Crystals. And now we have to say farewell, Miss IFA. I'll let you go to your duties as the official face and soul of this fair that fills us all with joy. We shall meet again one day. No, really, I mean it. We should. And hopefully, you won't have copper hair then. And we would be wearing our business socks.
Jason too. [More IFA 2008 Coverage]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
GeekyNerdGuy
Posted 2:43 AM 29/8/08
@Kaiser-Machead on the Edge: Well, it depends the part of town in which you're driving the Hyundai.
And you also have to pronounce the U, Hi-UNE-day
GeekyNerdGuy
jayhawk11
Posted 2:42 AM 29/8/08
@Kaiser-Machead on the Edge: Don't worry. I read Carmen's comment and thought it said she wants a "huge bauble ring with a flesh drive".
I was horrified at first, then got a sort of warm tingling sensation. Strange.
And Jesus...Addy is going to have your balls for this piece. Just a heads up in case you thought you'd slide this one through.
jayhawk11
CarmenLovesHerNewCanonDSLR
Posted 2:34 AM 29/8/08
@Alex7575: She looks kind of flat chested?
For some reason she looks like the kind of woman who needs to have HUGE FAKE HARD TITS.
CarmenLovesHerNewCanonDSLR
Alex7575
Posted 2:30 AM 29/8/08
All it shows are the Swarovski Crystals!!! Where are Miss IFA's JEWEL'S!?!?
Alex7575
CarmenLovesHerNewCanonDSLR
Posted 2:22 AM 29/8/08
I want a huge bauble ring with a flash drive!
CarmenLovesHerNewCanonDSLR
Kaiser-Machead's Apostrophe's Power
Posted 2:17 AM 29/8/08
@GeekyNerdGuy: For a moment I read that as Hyundai Accent, and I lol'd. Now I see my folly.
Kaiser-Machead's Apostrophe's Power
GeekyNerdGuy
Posted 2:03 AM 29/8/08
The accent drives the IFA babes wild ...
GeekyNerdGuy
Joseph
Posted 2:01 AM 29/8/08
Jesus you already gotta girl! Stop being greedy man.
Joseph
strider_mt2k
Posted 1:56 AM 29/8/08
Look out everyone, he's waxing poetic.
(among other things) ;)
strider_mt2k
Kaiser-Machead's Apostrophe's Power
Posted 1:56 AM 29/8/08
Just be sure not to pitch woo at the IFA. I hear they "wack your peepee" if you do. Anyway, funky baubles. I wouldn't mind a big ass man-ring with a bluetooth adapter in it.
Kaiser-Machead's Apostrophe's Power
Cyborg28
Posted 1:53 AM 29/8/08
I can Haz?
Cyborg28
CarmenLovesHerNewCanonDSLR
Posted 2:58 AM 29/8/08
@jayhawk11: Flesh Drive? What would I stick in?
CarmenLovesHerNewCanonDSLR
yogibimbi
Posted 3:29 AM 29/8/08
@jayhawk11: 'Addy is going to have your balls for this piece' - rather his jewels, I'd say.BTW: what are a woman's jewels? As in anatomy? Never heard that expression, to be honest...
yogibimbi
jayhawk11
Posted 3:18 AM 29/8/08
@CarmenLovesHerNewCanonDSLR: Good question, but I think BLam and the rest of Giz would appreciate it if that conversation stayed off of the website. We have enough troubles with off topic-ness without getting into Flesh Drives and their applications
jayhawk11
Parapraxis
Posted 3:11 AM 29/8/08
it's the red hair.
Drives men wild.
Parapraxis
Ed Grabianowski
Posted 3:46 AM 29/8/08
Viva Polska!
Ed Grabianowski
acekrn
Posted 3:46 AM 29/8/08
miss ifa looks like the girl on my radeon x850xt video card.
i would rail her while she's suspended upside down on a ladder.
acekrn
SigmundTheSeaMonster
Posted 3:38 AM 29/8/08
"Oh, mein Liebling!"
[www1.messe-berlin.de]
SigmundTheSeaMonster
SigmundTheSeaMonster
Posted 3:36 AM 29/8/08
What a gem you've got there!
(needs more pics of Ms IFA)
SigmundTheSeaMonster
jerkyjones
Posted 4:16 AM 29/8/08
I think this is the post of the month.
Sugar underpants and business socks make it so.
jerkyjones
Curves
Posted 4:08 AM 29/8/08
Addy has nothing to worry about since I am pretty sure Jesus knows she is tip top and isnt foolish enough to risk her, especially with all the eager little Addy-fanboys secretly praying for just such a Jesus screw up.
Curves
Kaiser-Machead's Apostrophe's Power
Posted 4:42 AM 29/8/08
@jayhawk11: If only they actually rhymed, it'd be the perfect comical snarkism.
Kaiser-Machead's Apostrophe's Power
jayhawk11
Posted 4:36 AM 29/8/08
@CarmenLovesHerNewCanonDSLR: Touché. Or is it douché? I've been confused ever since that John Mayer laptop bag piece.
jayhawk11
CarmenLovesHerNewCanonDSLR
Posted 4:33 AM 29/8/08
@jayhawk11: Yeah b.c this post was made 100% in nonsexual context.
CarmenLovesHerNewCanonDSLR
TimurY
Posted 5:09 AM 29/8/08
Yay, autoplay is back!
TimurY
jayhawk11
Posted 5:01 AM 29/8/08
@Kaiser-Machead on the Edge: I like to think of it as poetic justice...but the damn French refuse to change their pronunciation of one word. If only they weren't so...French.
jayhawk11
phijef
Posted 5:58 AM 29/8/08
OCD much?
phijef
beekerstudios
Posted 6:17 AM 29/8/08
@acekrn: Or on a High Efficiency Washer:
beekerstudios
Curves
Posted 7:44 AM 29/8/08
Ronald McDonald Hair.
Curves
CarmenLovesHerNewCanonDSLR
Posted 8:54 AM 29/8/08
@Curves: Yeah now that I think about it. It's like the McDonalds Asia commercials.
CarmenLovesHerNewCanonDSLR
shorty6049
Posted 9:52 AM 29/8/08
@strider_mt2k: like his candle?
shorty6049
BiZarRroBALlmeR
Posted 11:19 AM 29/8/08
Is that headline some kind of pun as in is she going to show her testicles? I'm afraid to look. Let me know how it turns out.
BiZarRroBALlmeR
Hyman Decent
Posted 12:10 PM 29/8/08
Because invading Poland is wrong.
Tell that to Putin and Medvedev.
Hyman Decent
Kanyamagufa
Posted 7:52 PM 29/8/08
Always was a sucker for a redhead.
Kanyamagufa
OneObuyan
Posted 1:41 AM 30/8/08
I don't get it... that washing machine has no rocking motion, it is vibration free..!! that can't be good.. what is she smiling about..!!?
OneObuyan
OrtenseSwindle
Posted 5:37 PM 3/9/08
I've actually tried the Swarovski Moon crystal USB. IT DOESN"T EVEN FIT PROPERLY!!! It's too loose in a PC USB port and won't even insert into a Mac USB port. Small print on the instruction booklet says you may have to get a USB extension port if it doesn't fit properly. The stupid thing costs $240 and you still have to get an extension to make it fit?!?! WTF is wrong with that company?
OrtenseSwindle