The translation is horrible, as usual, so you mono-linguistic Americans end up finding a regular news items to be hilarious - He didn't say "There's fat inside", what he said is "There's bacon inside"

Furthermore, it was not a 'hotel quality electric shoe shiner", but rather "an electric show shiner, similar to those found in hotels".

Alright, you got me with the dolls, wires and batteries -- unless it was the usual chinese made mechanical souvenir doll. As long as the doll was not life-sized, it wasn't, again, anything really obtuse -- particularly since his wife packed for him.

Speaking of which - so, the guy splits from his wife, who's mad, and then lets her pack his suitcase? Brilliant.

Overall, the news article has little to nothing sensational in it- it's mostly a "curious" type article, pointing out some idiosyncrasies of traveling (and, apparently, packing bacon is not that unusal - no different than folks packing lobster from maine, or sourdough from San Francisco).

@PocketLint: I have the same problem sometimes with gizmodo (and some other pages) when I use IE at work...not really sure what the problem is, but usually a refresh fixes it.

Billxor

"bacon has a similar "nuclear density" to certain types of bombs"

So that's why I get explosive farts after I eat a pound or two.

...and when I eat Canadian bacon my farts smell like maple syrup.

Maksimir

"Packin heat?"

"Nah, just meat."

"Neat!"

ripfire

@: followed by the sequel "steaks on a plane"

as for the other items in the suitcase, the electric doll with batteries... did she require inflation at all?

Naoki - Photoshop Ninja

Note: page now renders correctly, hmmm.

I think the formatting issues has to do with certain ads that show on the left side of the page.

For example: The 'stop replacing batteries' ad will not render right in IE and messes up the formatting for the rest of the page.

PocketLint

Good they stopped that lunatic, who knows what could've happened. A real nightmare scenario.
Coming Soon: "Pork on a Plane" -2009

I have to think it has to do with the bacon's nitrate concentration.

wanago

@Naoki - Photoshop Ninja: Oh, man! Props!

Also, bacon is high in nitrates wich is a component of some bombs.

PocketLint

... well, somebody gots da "Bacon Bisquit Blues" I guess...

ANoel

Am I the only one who can't view this page correctly?
The formatting is all wonky and left-justified.

Using IE.

PocketLint

I suppose this traveler was simply trying to "bring home the bacon"

Naoki - Photoshop Ninja

I get hungry on any flight longer than 30 minutes. Those damn peanuts and half cup sodas can't hold my hunger. I need raw meat.

aliskaba

@: The same guy who lets her work on his brakes before that long car trip down the mountain.

Git Em SteveDave displays attention-grabbing vanity

Who the hell would let their estranged wife pack their bags for them in the first place?

mmmm bacon bombs

Great, now everybody is going to have their carry-on breakfast searched by the Department of Homeland Insecurity...

IphtashuFitz

"The officials are in dealing with mentally ill specially trained."

Ahh.... So that explains it.

Wow, big plans tonight for that guy.

mhlaxp

Bananas set off radiation detectors, too.

@: I don't know about that... you remember what @: said in his comment about @:, right? @: and @: just don't know what they're talking about.

It's like Madlibs.

Rabid Penguin

It's simple really - he was trying to board an El Al flight. No way they're letting bacon on one of those flights - gonna treif (make unkosher) the whole plane.

ps61318

The owner of the bag is ominous in the "bomb room", one for possible explosions reinforced room, asked. [Redundancy anyone, asked?]

In opening the suitcase bomb in the room came a shoeshine electrically operated device days, similar to those in hotels.[Electrically operated device days...wtf?]

Around a woman to the Virgin Mary wanted to fly to Rome. [Good to see the Virgin Mary still gets around.]

Google translate FTW.

smegz

I guess (former) Pigs really can't fly.

diverguy

@: chocolate too

tonashideska

@ZinkDifferent: "Furthermore, it was not a 'hotel quality electric shoe shiner, but rather 'an electric show shiner, similar to those found in hotels'."

Oh okay, a show shiner. Thanks for clearing that up.

Killjoy

Because bacon IS the bomb

GeekyNerdGuy

@PocketLint: @wanago: That's probably it. Nitric acid plus toluene is TNT. I bet they did a swab test and put it into a mass spec which saw the nitrate ion and attributed it to a nitrate-containing organic compound.

Fun fact: you can nitrate most organic compounds to get different explosives. Toluene -> TNT and glycerine -> nitroglycerine.

The Lab

@: what's a "show" shiner?

Naoki - Photoshop Ninja

hmmhmmm, bacon... check. electronic sex doll... check. industrial grade shoe polisher... check. lets see, what else... oh shit i almost forgot to bring my marble bust of beethoven... that would have sucked, then this whole thing never would have worked! whew!

nutbastard

Beggin' Strips: Airports don't know it's not bacon!

IT'S BACON!

Con Seannery

I don't know, after eating THAT much bacon I'd probably lay a bomb too...

Xavoc

First cheese, now bacon! What's next? A side order of fries or a shake?

I can't believe this is the first time a German has traveled with carry-on bacon since security ramped up.

formicae

Time for the bacon strip search.

MyPetFly

So, ummmm....instead of C4 we plant, errrrr Bacon,!?!? right Sarge?!??!!

Triplet66

Suitcase Full of Bacon? Yeah, I saw them at Bonneroo! Great show, man!

ideaman2020

@nutbastard: Nut, I can't believe you forgot the "Spandau Ballet's Greatest Hits" on vinyl. Forgetting that, good sir, would have completely muffed up the whole weekend.

zenpoet

Jews win is now the best story tag ever.

strobefx

On the plus side, the bacon counsel gets a new tagline. "Bacon - it's a flavor explosion!"

bwildrick

Sorry for the double. I hadn't noticed the "Jews Win" tag. I am Jewish and I eat bacon. If God didn't want me to eat it, he shouldn't have invented the pig. He had proof that we Jews are backsliders and if his intent was to prevent Jews from eating bacon, not inventing pigs is step 1.

Step 2 is not telling Jews that everyone except them can eat bacon. Bacon is a test by God to see who is willing to think outside the box. If you're not willing to break a few rules, you wind up with a bacon-free existence.

OMG! Ponies! Deservs It

Bacon is the greatest substance known to man. Separating bacon from someone who wants bacon is justification for everything up to and including homicide. My condolences to the man who had his bacon taken from him.

This rasher is for you.

OMG! Ponies! Deservs It

*it has nothing to do...

jkr's bold comment

It as nothing to do w/ "nuclear density". These devices are modeled after the ole factory organ of german shepard. This devices did exactly what a german shepard would have done. It chased the guy, attacked the suitcase, and 5 hours after it ate the bacon, it deposited a nice little surprise. Btw, isn't it illegal to transport meat w/o some kind of license.

+ Watch video

jkr's bold comment

@jkr's bold comment: That is so far from true as to be worthy of a fish-slap

@Rabid Penguin: The old "Undercooked Pork Is Unsafe So It Was Forbidden" canard.

Let's get something straight:

You want me to believe that a culture that invented its own system of writing, was capable of smelting metals, dying fabrics a wide array of colors, cultivating crops, and carrying on deep philosophical debate (including on complex math-based analyses of the Torah) forbade the eating of pork because they didn't know how to cook it? I'm not buying it. They knew how to make pork chops.

If anything, I'd expect it to be closer to one theory on the sanctity of the cow in India - that it provides so much (food, leather, glues) that it must be a gift from god. From there, you go to holy.

The Torah specifically says that pork shall be "unclean to you" (meaning the Jews). If it was dangerous to eat, it would not have had "to you". Gentiles are permitted to eat pork; ergo, the reason is not food safety.

OMG! Ponies! Deservs It

@OMG! Ponies! Deservs It: that is both the funniest and most disturbing post I think I have read from you to date.

Well done, good sir, well done.

#include
#include

void main()
{
printf("clap\n");
Sleep(10); /* seconds */
printf("clap:-(\n");
}

zenpoet

@OMG! Ponies! Deservs It: If you accept Jesus as your savior you're allowed to eat bacon. He came to save us from more than just our sins.

There was a reason for the dietary laws found in Leviticus other than just tradition or "just because". The things you weren't suppose to eat were unclean... and not good for you. Pigs carried tapeworms and diseases and were not very safe for consumption. Although that's not really the case today, it's probably still safe to stay away from pork... except for bacon, or shake-n-bake.

@jkr's bold comment: At least you didn't say turkey bacon, which IS a sin to eat :c /

Rabid Penguin

@OMG! Ponies! Deservs It: I eat beef bacon, I personally think it is far superior in flavor than pork.

jkr's bold comment

So I read the origional article in German and in addition to the funny stuff about the bacon, the electronic doll was not opened like google said it was... it was exploded as if it was an explosive device needing disposal. It was only after it was done that they figured it was harmless :)

@OMG! Ponies! Deservs It: I'm sorry, you just said that I'm not of the opinion that beef bacon tastes better than pork. Now if I had said that Beef bacon does taste better than pork bacon, you would have grounds, because that would imply that everybody shares my tastes. The fact that I stated it as a personal opinion, is not arguable. Oh, and I saw some spelling, grammer, and sudo mistakes in your post. On top of that... yadda yadda... bow down... overlords...legos...blend...etc. :P Am I dienvoweled yet?

jkr's bold comment

@Rabid Penguin: By the way, why would I accept Jesus as my savior?

I already accepted His stupid phone and it gives me near-EDGE speeds on 3G. If Jesus' promise of eternal life is as sound as his promise of DSL speed on my cell-phone, I'll stick with being a bad Jew. At least we don't have Hell to deal with when we break the rules.

OMG! Ponies! Deservs It

Press buttan
Receive... bomb?

Bokusatsu_Tenshi

@ZinkDifferent:

Hey, whatever it takes for you to get a dig in eh?

I guess I'm no better commenting on your comment about how Americans are one syllable and done.......

For the record, it was a bit funny, and your translation "fix" ( I don't have a more derogatory word for what you did, so I have to use fix…..VERY lightly) neither added nor detracted from its humor.

By the by, what the fork is a show shiner?

Your splitting German hairs here buddy......

Out2gtcha

@jkr's bold comment: You disrespected bacon and that is something that I will not abide.

Because I am a merciful man, I will let you choose the fish for the fish-slap: a Coho salmon, a Japanese flounder, an Atlantic halibut, or a pair of herrings.

OMG! Ponies! Deservs It

When we were traveling a few weeks ago they took away my ham sandwich. They said that pork is not allowed on planes.

spyguy99

Remember back in WWII when people were to save their fats from cooking and what not, and then dump them at some government collection site? Fats contain glycerin. Glycerin makes explosives.

philibuster

Pork fat has a similar structure to C4. Except it won't explode.

Don't bother trying this at home, kids!

Collins1

@Rabid Penguin:

"it's prob safe to stay away" from pork got me thinking.

the 3 main meats:
chicken, beef, pork.
bird flu, mad cow and...?

nonetheless, stay away from meat altogether if you care at all. Karma I say, what u kill to eat comes back to kill u.

001

@001: I think you're on to something, from now I'll stick with: Green Onions, Spinach, and Tomatoes.
Can't go wrong with vegetables/sudo-fruits.

I carry suitcases full of copious amount of bacon through airport security all the time and no one ever bothers me.

nachrichten.at isn't a german website but an austrian one. Everything else is translated correctly.

hanswurst0815

@OMG! Ponies! Deservs It: I know I'm late to the party, and I know that you don't care about these sorts of things, but this comment makes everything else you have ever said sound brilliant.

"If G-d didn't want me to eat bacon he shouldn't have invented the pig"? Great. Ok, by the same logic, "If G-d didn't want me to kill he wouldn't have given me the ability to kill." It's G-d's fault that you can't follow the rules. Way to avoid responsibility, counselor.

Oh, it's because the rules apply to Jews and not to Christians? Ok, become a Christian and then you won't have to follow the rules. But you gain Hell in the process. Hmmm, worth the pork? I dunno.

The rules are the rules - your inability to follow them is not G-d's problem.

@OMG! Ponies! Deservs It: Here, now, you have written the truth: it's not AT ALL about food safety. Keeping Kosher is called a chok (that's with a gutteral at the beginning) - a rule for which there is no rational explanation - if G-d says "no pig," then it's "no pig" end of story. Oh, and I await those who claim to be "enlightened" to jump on the "no rational explanation" piece. Not playing that game today, not my point. If you start with different postulates, logic takes you in different directions. Whatever.

ps61318

Imagine the riot that could have occured inflight when the other passengers, starved and out of their minds on peanuts and half-cups of soda, hear someone shout "Hey! This guy's got bacon!"

The authorities acted properly in this case, in the interests of public safety. ;-)

Barcard

@ps61318: But God does want people to kill and exhorts the Jews to do kill and wage war on several occassions (to the point of genocide as with Amalek and his people with the commandment to blot out all rememberances of Amalek).

And, yeah, become a Christian and abandon the old rules is the philosophy of Christianity. It's the idea behind the "New" Testament - a new covenant with God.

The rules are the rules. I accept this. It's not that I'm not able to follow them; it's that I choose not to.

BTW: Not a good time to get me going about God. Tongue-in-cheek blasphemy is me being kind to him.

OMG! Ponies! Deservs It

@OMG! Ponies! Deservs It: I'll choose the herrings, but only if they are red.

jkr's bold comment