Regulars
10 Gadgets That Help You Play Like an Olympian
Posted by Sean Fallon at 6:00 AM on August 23, 2008

It has been quite an Olympics hasn't it? From the spectacular opening ceremonies, to the amazing performances by Michael Phelps and Usain Bolt (not to mention all of the controversy stirred up by the Chinese government). In years past I can't say that I was all that excited about the Olympics--but I will be kind of sad to see this one go. The good news is that just because the games are over doesn't mean you can't carry the torch...literally. So, check out the following ten gadgets to learn how to play like an Olympian.
Torch Relay:
Usually, physically fit / important individuals are chosen to be a part of the Olympic torch relay--which is why you were passed over this time around. Screw the IOC! You can have your own torch relay around the neighbourhood with this official replica version. Only 200,000 were authorised--each featuring steel leftover from the "Birds Nest" stadium and a base of laser cut crystal illustrating the route of the controversial Beijing torch relay. Available for US$500. [Product Page]
Avoiding the Health Hazards of Pollution:
A big to-do was made out of the poor quality of the air in Beijing. In fact, it was such an issue that many athletes were issued smog masks before they arrived--and the US cycling team was forced to apologise for wearing them at the airport. If airborne pollutants concern you, and you don't mind looking like a Michael Jackson-esque hypochondriac, you can pick up a filtered pollution mask for around US$25 (sport version available on 8/25). [I Can Breathe]
Swimming:
Obviously the big story of this year's Olympics was Michael Phelps' amazing 8 gold medal effort. He is a machine, there is no doubt about it, but he did have some help. The LZR Racer swimsuit from Speedo had a hand in a race or two with its space age fabrics and snug Hydro Form compression system. Available for US$550 starting in October. [Speedo via Link]
Another secret to Phelps' success was his trusty iPod. We saw him sporting earbuds and getting pumped up with music before every race. But what the hell was he listening to exactly? The only song we know for sure was Lil Wayne's "I'm Me," but he has professed affinity for Young Jeezy, Twista, Eminem, Usher and Outkast in the past. So what does that mean for you? Rap wins gold medals folks. It's a fact. [ZDNet]
Volleyball:
Besides the mystery of Phelps' iPod, another question on everyone's mind was that black junk on the shoulder of Volleyball phenom and hottie extraordinaire Kerri Walsh. The answer was Kinesio athletic tape, and it helps support muscles without inhibiting the athlete's range of motion. Available for about $15 a roll. [AllegroMedical and Link]
Fencing:
Those bizarre blinking helmets you see on the heads of fencing athletes in the Olympics are actually based on the same technology the sport has been relying on for years. LEDs on the mask are set off when the open-closed circuit system detects a charge from the weapon, indicating a hit. Forget fencing, these would make great accessories to a Halloween costume. [Link]
Cycling:
Unless you have a million bucks to burn on a bike, you will not be getting your hands on this custom Koga bike designed for Dutch cyclist Theo Bos. Apparently, it has the lowest air resistance of any bike in the world, and its super stiff frame makes it an extremely difficult ride--unless you are a finely tuned athlete, that is. [Link]
Track and Field:
Staying cool is essential if you are training on a track outside in the heat. The Nike PreCool vest helps athletes lower their core temperature and keep muscles working optimally. The vest features two layers: the innermost layer is filled with frozen water and the outermost layer is made from aluminium to help trap the cold in. [Link]
If you saw Usain Bolt capture the 100 and the 200 meter golds, you probably know that he could have won the race in flip-flops. However, he was wearing custom gold-coloured Puma Theseus II Croc track spikes on both occasions, and you can pick them up at Foot Locker for US$100. [Foot Locker]
Okay, So You Are Not The Athletic Type:
No worries, you can still sit on your arse and smoke like an Olympian with this Bird's Nest ashtray and lighter combo. There is even an LED in the lighter to give it the same stylish vibe as the real thing. Available for US$23. [sourcingmap]

Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
pradster
Posted 6:34 AM 23/8/08
@eblingmis: I second that, every girl in a bikini is not worth hitting....
@bosskev: sorry to disturb the whole pattern :P
pradster
EBone
Posted 6:33 AM 23/8/08
Yeah, but her team mate Misty May is is the one with the pornstar name...
And what's with the two guys in the top photo? They look like they are running from the Cloverfield monster.
EBone
SigmundTheSeaMonster
Posted 6:31 AM 23/8/08
@eblingmis: I dunno. I mean I've seen some pro-volleyball women and with Kerri, I'd give her my tentacle.
SigmundTheSeaMonster
bosskev
Posted 6:29 AM 23/8/08
@eblingmis: In an amazing bit of symmetry, that is exactly what she said about you.
bosskev
snakepliskin
Posted 6:29 AM 23/8/08
@eblingmis: Not that hot but shes a blonde with a good body that wears a bikini for a living. So yeah id totally hit it, especially if she wore her gold medals.
snakepliskin
Human Bomb
Posted 6:28 AM 23/8/08
@eblingmis: I don't find her that attractive either, but she is pretty athletic.
Human Bomb
pradster
Posted 6:28 AM 23/8/08
@Rabid Penguin: so there will be about 20.2 million torches running around the streets?
or will every house in beijing be lit by one of these suckers?
pradster
eblingmis
Posted 6:23 AM 23/8/08
I hate to be the one who says it, but Kerri Walsh isn't really that hot.
eblingmis
DocLev
Posted 6:22 AM 23/8/08
Doesn't my tiny Speedo make me an Olympian????
I sure feel like one when I wear it!!!
DocLev
lldsandsll
Posted 6:20 AM 23/8/08
@Rabid Penguin: oh it thought for sure you were gonna say to have a roman orgy
lldsandsll
Human Bomb
Posted 6:19 AM 23/8/08
Look like Sub-Zero and save your lungs from horrible air? I'll take two!
Human Bomb
Kaiser-Machead's WALL-E fetish
Posted 6:18 AM 23/8/08
I love the expression on the guy's face on the right in the top picture.
"I am weeneeng! I am weeneeng!"
Kaiser-Machead's WALL-E fetish
Kareem King
Posted 6:17 AM 23/8/08
@Rabid Penguin: With all the shenanigans pulled by the Chinese during these Olympics I suspect that even the 200,000 torches are counterfeit (ie. not actually made from srcap pieces of the birds nest).
Kareem King
Rabid Penguin
Posted 6:13 AM 23/8/08
@pradster: "Only 200,000 were authorized" "Authorized" being the key word. This is the Chinese Olympics, and when in Rome, do as the Romans do... ie. Just get a pirated copy.
Rabid Penguin
pradster
Posted 6:10 AM 23/8/08
wait only 200,000 torches were made?
How am i supposed to ever get one now!
pradster
bosskev
Posted 6:58 AM 23/8/08
@Rabid Penguin: "And is that a 'VISA' tattoo on her arm, or just a rub-on? "
No, no, not a tattoo, her entire body IS a credit card--a little bigger but just as flat. Indeed, look just above her waistband and you can see the 3-digit security code.
bosskev
MagnoliaBoy
Posted 6:55 AM 23/8/08
All the assorted China Government crap just left too much of a bad taste in my mouth, I couldn't stand myself watching it. I dig the Birds Nest ashtray and lighter though. Also Phelps is a douche. A very, very fast, record breaking multi-gold medalist douche.
MagnoliaBoy
B1663R
Posted 6:51 AM 23/8/08
@Rabid Penguin: Uggg, Why did you post that?
B1663R
Kaiser-Machead's WALL-E fetish
Posted 6:45 AM 23/8/08
@Rabid Penguin: Maybe she was a former employee. They brand their slaves now.
Kaiser-Machead's WALL-E fetish
araddatz
Posted 6:44 AM 23/8/08
I think the guy on the left probably just picked up the Pentium III laptop he won on eBay for $700. It's how Nigeria trains their Olympic runners.
araddatz
Rabid Penguin
Posted 6:39 AM 23/8/08
I'm sorry, but that's not hot... And is that a 'VISA' tattoo on her arm, or just a rub-on?
Rabid Penguin
Kaiser-Machead's WALL-E fetish
Posted 6:37 AM 23/8/08
You guys forgot the coinpurse shaver that Phelps uses.
Kaiser-Machead's WALL-E fetish
greimel
Posted 7:41 AM 23/8/08
"The vest features two layers: the innermost layer is filled with frozen water and the outermost layer is made from aluminum to help trap the cold in."
Why would they use aluminum to trap cold in?? It's a terrible insulator. And I'm pretty sure that frozen water is usually called ice.
greimel
Rabid Penguin
Posted 7:39 AM 23/8/08
@lpranal: C'mon man, now you're just sounding desperate.
Rabid Penguin
CHO
Posted 7:37 AM 23/8/08
@pradster: I actually managed to get one of those torches as a gift...
CHO
lpranal
Posted 7:35 AM 23/8/08
@Rabid Penguin: Maybe it's just cause i'm into athletic girls but damn... she is cute.
Just a note to any girls reading these comments (all .075 of you) ... there are some of us guys out there who aren't JUST into girls look like jenna jameson. Just in case you were wondering.
lpranal
MagnoliaBoy
Posted 7:32 AM 23/8/08
@snakepliskin: Snake Pliskin would never be afraid of calling someone out.
MagnoliaBoy
snakepliskin
Posted 7:28 AM 23/8/08
@MagnoliaBoy: Im gonna try ignoring phelps out of the water cause hes freakin awesome at swimming but i dont want to have to call him out on being a douche. When i was at baylor jeremy wariner was there and that guy was a fucking douche bag.
snakepliskin
iomatic
Posted 7:28 AM 23/8/08
I think our team needs velcro for the baton.
iomatic
Parapraxis
Posted 7:53 AM 23/8/08
anyone notice the HUUUUGE protrusion on that man's head?
Looks like it's too little too late for the mask!
Parapraxis
sam_i_am
Posted 7:51 AM 23/8/08
Oh. As previously mentioned by greimel. *hat tip*
sam_i_am
sam_i_am
Posted 7:51 AM 23/8/08
"...the innermost layer is filled with frozen water..."
Kids these days are calling it 'Ice'.
sam_i_am
Enochrewt
Posted 8:17 AM 23/8/08
Steroids are a gadget, right?
Enochrewt
Blah8
Posted 10:02 AM 23/8/08
Michael Phelps did not use the Speedo LZR Racer. He was one of the only competitors who wasn't wearing one.
Blah8
bms
Posted 11:13 AM 23/8/08
Wait, in that picture, is that the US team dropping the baton?
bms
Pablos102030
Posted 5:10 PM 23/8/08
@Blah8: IT'S A CONSPIRACY! LZR SPEEDOS ARE LINED WITH MAGICAL CHINESE DRUGS!
Pablos102030
Purple Dave
Posted 7:31 PM 23/8/08
Yeah, in that top picture, YOU is totally disqualified for running in Nigeria's lane.
And Phelps wasn't wearing the LZR suit. I've yet to see a swimpants version pop up in photo form, so I'm guessing he, like many contestants, was just wearing the same thing that worked for him in Athens. The LZR suits, as it turns out, were prone to ripping, so some of the swimmers might have been concerned about how having that happen _during_ a race might affect their performance (luckily, the closest I think we got to seeing that happen is the Swedish swimmer whose suit ripped before she was supposed to get on the blocks, and Dara Torres asked the officials to hold the race so she could change into a different suit and not have an even shorter Olympics than the Korean who fell into the pool in Athens).
Purple Dave
binkyje
Posted 12:18 AM 24/8/08
I want one of those swimming outfits.... do they do them in the kind of sizes that imply man boobs and a beer gut?
binkyje
FiveLiters
Posted 2:39 AM 25/8/08
@binkyje: Dunno,but apparently they do have them in a size that Morris Day,er,the guy on the right,can show off his junk in!
FiveLiters
OMG! Ponies!
Posted 7:55 AM 25/8/08
This is the only tech I need:
[www.hulu.com]
OMG! Ponies!
DaSmith
Posted 8:27 PM 25/8/08
Here's what Phelps was listening to! --> [gizmodo.com]
LOL
DaSmith