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We Must Have Space Sex For Moon and Mars Astronauts, Says Scientist
Posted by Kit Eaton at 5:45 AM on July 16, 2008
In a move that's been obvious since the film Barbarella hit the planet, a scientist's research is pointing to the need for sex in space. But it's for a scientific and sensible reason: avoiding frustration on long-term space missions, when crew-members are crammed into a spacecraft, and living in ridiculously close proximity with no possibility of escaping outside for a spot of fresh air.
Dr Jason Kring, from Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University in Florida, is pressing Nasa to investigate sex in space, and possibly even zero-g pregnancy. Apparently there are potential issues like excessive sweating and low blood-pressure effects that might affect zero-g sex, as well as potential difficulties with the pill (like some other medications) which may not work as well in space.
He's also arguing for private spaces to be planned into crew quarters on the next Moon missions. Like drinking and eating, he points out that sex is a basic human function and "It doesn't make sense to assume that these men and women are going to have no thoughts of it for three years." That's an approximate timescale for a round-trip mission to Mars.
His suggestion, in an upcoming Nasa publication is that, like polar explorers, crew members should take a colleague as a temporary lover. Can you predict Nasa's fun-killing response? "We don't study sexuality in space." [The Telegraph]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Fierock
Posted 7:28 AM 16/7/08
our mission: to boldly go where no man has gone before (in space)
upon succeeding: one giant space orgasm for man, one giant leap for mankind.
seriously, Giz should have a caption contest for this story.
Fierock
iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!
Posted 7:25 AM 16/7/08
@graphx: I sure DID! :d
it is NIIIIIIIICE and all
but i had to get a white one but they are nice enough to let me exchange it tomorrow for a new black one tomrorow :D
iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!
graphx
Posted 7:19 AM 16/7/08
@iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!: *waves!!! i am assuming you got your iPhone?
i can see it now...
"PSSHHH Uh Houston there is an unidentified object flying to our right... Over"
"PSSHHH Never mind Houston just another ejected condom... Over"
graphx
evan_phi
Posted 7:14 AM 16/7/08
Cuz there's nothing manlier than two guys fucking... in space...
evan_phi
MEHRDAD
Posted 7:14 AM 16/7/08
How do I sign up to become an astronaut? I am not getting enough on earth!
MEHRDAD
oliveboy
Posted 7:13 AM 16/7/08
We know jealous astronauts will drive across the country without stopping for a bathroom break to kidnap someone with a 22 and duck tape...
Open the airlock.
No, not till you know what you did wrong.
I'm sorry?
You don't really mean it!
This is asking for trouble.
oliveboy
iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!
Posted 7:11 AM 16/7/08
@catfewd: Spooge..mmmmm
iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!
catfewd
Posted 7:09 AM 16/7/08
Space Spooge.
catfewd
CrashingOut
Posted 7:03 AM 16/7/08
"We already spent $680 million on zero-g tampon development, you people want more get the damn porn industry to sponsor it." -NASA spokesperson
CrashingOut
iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!
Posted 7:01 AM 16/7/08
@GadgetPlay: SHE DID WHAT TO THE TURKEY LEG!?
::puts her hand over her eyes:: oh my god
iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!
frigg
Posted 7:01 AM 16/7/08
Uhh... NASA has studied sex in space. Shhhhhh........
frigg
Lestat
Posted 7:00 AM 16/7/08
Something tells me that astronauts are not all single... I think the married ones are going to be in a lot of trouble over this one.
Lestat
Dook_In_The_Urinal
Posted 6:59 AM 16/7/08
@GadgetPlay: ": My cousin's wife got drunk at our family Thanksgiving dinner..."
Considering this is a thread about sex, I was a bit hesitant to read the rest of the story....
Dook_In_The_Urinal
GadgetPlay
Posted 6:51 AM 16/7/08
@Eric Tolle: "Given thisadministration's obsession with preventing sexuality"
WTF are you talking about?
@whiteknight: "Now are they going to make a special bed with special straps?"
Kinky!
@nutbastard: My cousin's wife got drunk at our family Thanksgiving dinner and proceeded to sing that at the top of her voice. "Thank"fully, one grandma was dead and the other was as hearing impaired as a post, so, no harm no foul.
GadgetPlay
jcouvret
Posted 6:46 AM 16/7/08
One word ... Masturbatorium.
jcouvret
rexplex
Posted 6:44 AM 16/7/08
@mcjake:
I grok that
rexplex
MystikONE
Posted 6:44 AM 16/7/08
NASA's New Slogan:
...You don't have to be a Rocket Scientist to be an astronaut.....we take Porn Stars too...
MystikONE
Gann
Posted 6:44 AM 16/7/08
@EQC: Lack of sex in space would explain why they're so anal-probe happy.
Gann
EQC
Posted 6:42 AM 16/7/08
PS: regarding zero-g pregnancy:
I bet if a baby is gestated in 0-gravity, he'll be born with grayish skin, a big head, big eyes, and spindly limbs.
Those "aliens" people are always seeing aren't aliens at all...they're just humans from our technologically advanced, space-dwelling, time-traveling future.
EQC
JRo
Posted 6:41 AM 16/7/08
That zero-G money shot's gonna be a doozy.
JRo
Ir0n
Posted 6:40 AM 16/7/08
This brings a whole new aspect when it comes to selecting astronauts. It now has to focus a lot more compatibility. That is why I'm predicting a deal between eHarmony and NASA within the next year.
Ir0n
EQC
Posted 6:39 AM 16/7/08
@Gann: On a similar note:
Due to the lack of female astronauts, the industry of "space prostitutes" will soon be huge. For low-budget missions, pay-per-use rentals of "space sex dolls" will also be an option.
Of course, there are weight concerns for space missions, so only one prostitute or doll per flight. All the astronauts must share.
EQC
hanspecans
Posted 6:39 AM 16/7/08
ctrl+f "wanking" not found.
hanspecans
Zlevee
Posted 6:38 AM 16/7/08
@iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!:Hey there's just low gravity in space, not loss of all physics. While we can't imagine all the fun possible adventures, we can know the answers to your questions: Friction/stickiness cover the first question. Trajectory is what's gonna determine the outcome of the second (i forsee a lot inteded facial just shooting off in a random direction). Condom again would stay on due to friction.
Zlevee
Gann
Posted 6:38 AM 16/7/08
@iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!: And to answer your other questions:
Not hover, squirt.
You're forgetting the stickiness coefficient.
This is NASA, all tubes would be tied, and all tests passed.
Just wait until space flight is privatized.
I'll tell you when I find out.
Gann
MystikONE
Posted 6:36 AM 16/7/08
....Sex in the Name of Science.....line always worked for me
MystikONE
justhesh
Posted 6:35 AM 16/7/08
In Zero G, how are you supposed to do it while standing up so the lady doesn't get pregnant?
justhesh
Gann
Posted 6:33 AM 16/7/08
@iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!: One of the many, many, reasons.
Gann
peerpul
Posted 6:32 AM 16/7/08
Having sex or boosting cars... Um, oo! Uh. How about having sex WHILE going 27700 km/h?
peerpul
iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!
Posted 6:29 AM 16/7/08
@Chromeo is typing this on his iPhone 3G: This is why swallowing is the way to go
iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!
twreckx
Posted 6:27 AM 16/7/08
@artistpavel: My thoughts exactly. "I'm going for a walk", "get the hell out my house!", and "i'm leaving" kind of all don't work when you're on a 3 year round-trip to another planet.
And what about the others?
Confined space+fighting couple=HUGE do not want.
twreckx
orbitcorbett
Posted 6:27 AM 16/7/08
"If the spaceship's rockin'..."
"Is that a rocket in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"
"Poon-Tang...the official space drink of the 2015 Mars Mission Astronauts!"
"Captain's log...it's been 2 hours since my last piece of ass and it's getting hard to concentrate..."
"I'm sorry, Dave...I'm afraid I can't do that."
"In space, no one can hear you cream."
"The Earth? I'm going to blow it up...it obstructs my view of Uranus."
orbitcorbett
Kaiser-Machead's Chips Ahoy!
Posted 6:27 AM 16/7/08
@Maxxofor: I read that guide, step 25 is disturbing. Really disturbing.
Kaiser-Machead's Chips Ahoy!
drewls
Posted 6:26 AM 16/7/08
Wow, I just had this horrible nightmare that someone was posting Fleshbot nonsense on Gizmodo again. Thankfully, I awoke, realizing it was only a distant bad dream...
drewls
Bloodboiler
Posted 6:25 AM 16/7/08
Nasa must have a lot of dorks/nerds on the payroll. The kind of io9 reading role playing "losers" than can design space shuttles, but are unpopular with women. I wonder if any of them has ever gotten frustrated in a mars mission planning meeting when this subject comes up and yelled: "Just tell astronauts not to f**k during the mission! It's not that hard to be without for four years."
Bloodboiler
Chromeo is typing this on his iPhone 3G
Posted 6:25 AM 16/7/08
@iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!: Another thought...if they DO use condoms up there...where do they throw out the used ones? Do they just eject them into space?
Chromeo is typing this on his iPhone 3G
Maxxofor
Posted 6:24 AM 16/7/08
THE OFFICAL NASA STEP BY STEP GUIDE TO SEX IN SPACE:
-----------------------------------------------------
SEC 1: Undress
1.1: Open the cloth fastening strip on the front of your Jumpsuit. (See Fig. 1.1.a)
1.2: Remove the jumpsuit and place it into an approved storage unit.
1.3: Remove you undergarments and place them into and approved undergarment storage unit. (see fig 1.3.a)
Sec 2: Initiate Conversation
2.1: Strike up appropriate conversation with your crew mate to determine if the there current conditions allow for coitus: (e.g. Are you menstrating?)
2.1.1: If your psychologically suitiable and assigned coupling partner is indeed in the optimum condition for coitus you should now attempt to get them 'in the mood'. See addendum 8, sub section 9 for examples of ways to facilitate getting your partner in the mood.
.......
Sigh.. i could go on.. and on.. and on.. but unfortunatley I have a job to attend to.
Maxxofor
All_Thumbs
Posted 6:24 AM 16/7/08
Anybody want to get a fund together for vomit comet sex taxi testing runs?
All_Thumbs
artistpavel
Posted 6:17 AM 16/7/08
The office is not the safest place to date.
artistpavel
rurena
Posted 6:13 AM 16/7/08
Can you imagine the porn that could come from this? i feel a fetish group growing already. We need to capitalize and make zero g-porn a reality. Spaceship one, we need to setup some cameras and send two maybe 3 horny people up.
rurena
Log1c
Posted 6:13 AM 16/7/08
They could turn the urination thing into a fleshlight/vibrator.
Log1c
mcjake
Posted 6:12 AM 16/7/08
Any bets that the first baby born outside of Earth will be named Michael Valentine Smith?
mcjake
iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!
Posted 6:12 AM 16/7/08
Now I have a few things and questions to add
if he came in her...and she kept her legs open would the cum hover on out?
He couldn't cum on her face b.c it will eventually lead back into his face...which means he just gave himself a facial.
Would the condom stay on?
Why aren't there good looking woman in space?
and above ALL else
where can I sign up?
iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!
Gann
Posted 6:11 AM 16/7/08
@nutbastard: That would be the Windmill. Add some elastic straps, you have the washing machine.
Gann
Gann
Posted 6:07 AM 16/7/08
@anti-hello-kitty: They don't need one woman for every guy, just one really slutty female astronaut. She doesn't even have to be an astronaut. Or human. "She" could be a robotic space-hooker.
Gann
peerpul
Posted 6:06 AM 16/7/08
@Monty:
It's really only around 210 miles above earth.
And to be the "only member" of the mile high club wouldn't that mean that they don't require a partner?
*after a rather intense encounter*
"My God, this station is full of stars!"
peerpul
nutbastard
Posted 6:04 AM 16/7/08
I wonder if you really COULD spin her around on it in space... provided she can do the splits... according to my calculations... yes, it is possible!!
nutbastard
atuck
Posted 6:03 AM 16/7/08
@nutbastard: and so much more work!
atuck
nutbastard
Posted 5:59 AM 16/7/08
Wait, is this doggy style? or piledriver?
90% of the Kama Sutra is redundant in Zero-G
nutbastard
Kaiser-Machead's Chips Ahoy!
Posted 5:58 AM 16/7/08
@Nikkoli:
*************SENT VIA SUBSPACE TRANSMISSION************
Dearest wife,
It's Day 123 of our mission, and my assigned sex partner has been getting clingy. She demands that I call her over the intercom, and is now attached to my hip during space walks. But she's a tiger in the padded capsule. Grraaaawr.
Very truly yours,
...
Kaiser-Machead's Chips Ahoy!
CarbonatedWater
Posted 5:56 AM 16/7/08
Someone's gonna have to figure this one out eventually. Maybe we should see if Russia will try it out. Then we'll have a sex in space race to see who can make the best space condoms and space vibrating dildos. Then when the space condoms leak and the space dildos run out of batteries or something, we can see who can come up with the best space abortions/space birth procedures. Then the next crew can test the space birth control pills and other space birth control items. It's gonna be a crazy sex in space race.
CarbonatedWater
bobojuice
Posted 5:56 AM 16/7/08
@anti-hello-kitty: It's $10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, $15 for a ZJ...
bobojuice
nutbastard
Posted 5:55 AM 16/7/08
"Sit on my face (in space) and tell me that you love me!
I'll sit on your face (in space) and tell you I love you, too!
I love to hear you oralize!
When I'm between your thighs!
You blow me AWAAAAY!
Sit on my face (in space) and let my lips embrace you!
I'll sit on your face (in space) and then I'll love you tru-ly!
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine and we
sit on our faces (in space) in all sorts of places and PLAY
til we're blown AWAAAY!
nutbastard
whiteknight
Posted 5:55 AM 16/7/08
"when crew-members are crammed into a spacecraft, and living in ridiculously close proximity with no possibility of escaping outside for a spot of fresh air"
WELL DUHH! Why haven't they dealt with this before!? Now are they going to make a special bed with special straps? Bungee cords anyone?
whiteknight
SigmundTheSeaMonster
Posted 5:54 AM 16/7/08
"Why is there tapioca floating in the cabin?"
"Um, that's um, not tapioca."
"GROSS!"
SigmundTheSeaMonster
GeekyNerdGuy
Posted 5:54 AM 16/7/08
Are they already forgetting that whole crazy astronaut love triangle diaper shit that went down recently?
GeekyNerdGuy
Monty
Posted 5:53 AM 16/7/08
Do they know for certain that this has not already happened? Who could pass up the opportunity of being the only member of the 22,000 mile club?
Monty
Sora57
Posted 5:53 AM 16/7/08
Just practicing docking and re-entry.
Sora57
venomous_duck41
Posted 5:53 AM 16/7/08
"oh god... whose gonna have to sleep with fat frank?"
"1.2.3. NOT IT"
"1.2.3. NOT IT"
"1.2.3. NOT, DAMN IT"
venomous_duck41
graphx
Posted 5:53 AM 16/7/08
"crew members should take a colleague as a temporary lover."
ahaha <3
scientific proof that friends w/ benefits is A OK!
graphx
Kaiser-Machead's Chips Ahoy!
Posted 5:53 AM 16/7/08
Dave, I thought you should know that Dr. Poole has been sleeping with Elena.
Kaiser-Machead's Chips Ahoy!
axiomatic
Posted 5:53 AM 16/7/08
Show me your weightless "grrrr" face!
axiomatic
anti-hello-kitty
Posted 5:52 AM 16/7/08
Given that there are not a lot of female astronauts, I forsee a lot of 'on the down low' man to man action in space...
anti-hello-kitty
Eric Tolle
Posted 5:51 AM 16/7/08
Given thisadministration's obsession with preventing sexuality, the end result of this will probably involve NASA castrating all crew members.
Eric Tolle
lpranal
Posted 5:51 AM 16/7/08
Too...many...possibilites...
Did somebody say, ejaculatory recoil? Sign me up!
lpranal
Nikkoli
Posted 5:49 AM 16/7/08
"His suggestion, in an upcoming Nasa publication is that, like polar explorers, crew members should take a colleague as a temporary lover."
Yeah, tell that to their wives...
Nikkoli
Chromeo is typing this on his iPhone 3G
Posted 5:48 AM 16/7/08
Yea, I tell my coworkers that all the time...
...doesn't work with them either.
Chromeo is typing this on his iPhone 3G
Sora57
Posted 5:47 AM 16/7/08
Crew members will now be "screw members."
Sora57
bobojuice
Posted 5:47 AM 16/7/08
Where do i sign up?
bobojuice
jayhawk11
Posted 7:48 AM 16/7/08
@iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!: Carmen, you're not allowed to sign up. They do have to actually explore the Moon/Mars at some point.
"Thats one small step for man, one.....hold on. Carmen says she wants to go again."
jayhawk11
MastaFalse
Posted 7:47 AM 16/7/08
WIN!
MastaFalse
Ryanraven
Posted 7:42 AM 16/7/08
reminds me of the half million count condom shipment to Antarctica. Scientists and astronauts like to get down like anyone else!!
Ryanraven
graphx
Posted 7:29 AM 16/7/08
@iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!: nice nice. i got white too... but then again i wanted white :)
graphx
iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!
Posted 8:08 AM 16/7/08
@jayhawk11: ::leans back with her hands behind her head:: Yeah that sounds like me :)
iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!
frigg
Posted 8:44 AM 16/7/08
@graphx: Darth ordered white ones as gifts for all the Stormtroopers for having a better than expected quarter kicking Rebel ass. The only black one I've seen anywhere on the new Death Star is his. :(
frigg
bobx3
Posted 8:27 AM 16/7/08
I nominate myself and Monica Bellucci for this dangerously sexy mission to Mars.
bobx3
heroineworshipper
Posted 9:08 AM 16/7/08
Lisa Novak for president.
heroineworshipper
2xMEAT
Posted 7:48 AM 16/7/08
@Monty
"Who could pass up the opportunity of being the only member of the 22,000 mile club?"
You're doing it wrong.
2xMEAT
whiteknight
Posted 9:38 AM 16/7/08
@Kaiser-Machead's Chips Ahoy!: That's good stuff!
whiteknight
vaca232
Posted 6:01 AM 16/7/08
Wow, this hilarious for a different reason. I'm at ERAU right now and have met this professor several times.. I did a double take when I read it. I'm glad my tuition is going toward valuable sex research.
vaca232
artistpavel
Posted 10:47 AM 16/7/08
Does this means the female astronauts should be paid more for being colleagues with benefits? and shouldn't they be mentally prepared to support the crew of fine gentlemen on board?
Nice idea for a movie though, that and the polar explorers thing.
artistpavel
Mandatory_Field
Posted 11:16 AM 16/7/08
@orbitcorbett: Hmmmm, you've been waiting for _years_ to use those, haven't you?
@2xMEAT: Hahahahaha! I didn't even notice that, good eye!
Mandatory_Field
Mr_LaZy
Posted 12:36 PM 16/7/08
Anyone else think it would be a problem if semen starts floating around?
Mr_LaZy
oo0cyst0oo
Posted 12:28 PM 16/7/08
suprised no one's said it,and i'm too late. PEOPLE WILL GET JEALOUS. c'mon? a private room?
"hey, guys, um.... i'm gonna eat a jello. you busy in there? aw, man. why am i driving the ship?"
oo0cyst0oo
Crowbot
Posted 11:09 PM 16/7/08
I could do three years standing on my head with my swanger in a vice.
Crowbot
Human Bomb
Posted 1:49 AM 17/7/08
I'd hit that, (in space).
Human Bomb
aec007
Posted 3:27 AM 17/7/08
Forgo all this nonsense.
Each Shuttle launch costs $500+M.
Save the money from 2 launches = over $1 Billion with a "B".
Sink that money into massive ENGINE R&D.
Go nuclear, fision, fusion what ever works... to get to:
• The moon in 6 ~ 8 hrs... not 2 days coasting with engines off.
• To Mars in 1 ~ 2 weeks... not 8 months.
SEE? all the problems you solve going fast?... save on supplies (food, water, air), crew wear and tear (mental and sexual health)... and we can start colonizing other places once and for all.
You can still have sex all you want, mind you. There's no reason why not to...
But I rather do it at 1000 miles per second speed. Getting there is half the fun. Screwing on the Marsian plains, now that's worth it!
aec007
zingbot
Posted 4:33 AM 17/7/08
The private sector will EASILY accommodate for this. Are you listening Branson? NASA can go fuck itself - just as it is asking of it's astronauts.
zingbot