The 'puzzle' is mere deception... clearly the homeowner's true motivation is to ensure that no one squeezes his Charmin...

Stem_Sell

Great, so only MacGyver will be the only one to use this thing...

Screen Name

I may or may not bring the banhammer down on the next commenter who uses the blink tag. Fair warning!

Adam Frucci

i just wanted to say i think this fucking TP gag is the worse than blinking while playing tag and becoming 'it'

nutbastard

My friends would seriously smash through that thing after 3 seconds of unsuccessful effort, then bring me the broken pieces with a look of "What the F were you thinking?" on their face.

newgalactic

@Bokusatsu_Tenshi: Your senses are wrong.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

@rabiddachshund: so just do it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

Could be worse, it could be marquee.

Gervy

Oh, I mean: Demolition Man was a great movie BTW. "All restaurants are Taco Bell". Cinematic gold!

atomx

Help!

misterwho

Demolition Man was a great movie BTW. "All restaurants are Taco Bell". Cinematic gold!

atomx

TEST

Gervy

@HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!: If I could wipe my ass with a towel, I would die a happy man.

rabiddachshund

Unless they replace that puzzle for a metal one, the puzzle itself won't last much long.

Also: My banhammer senses are tingling with all the off-topicness... :P

Bokusatsu_Tenshi

@Hectorvex: Funny that i am looking at just the non-blinking parts expecting it to be some sort of secret message... oh well.

ezman

@Myrddin-Wyllt: Damn. That was a good laugh. Woo.

Why don't they just print a particularly hard crossword puzzle on the front of it and prevent my grandpa from every leaving the bathroom altogether?

michaelportent

@Colonel Panic: Actually, I blame you! Don't think I didn't notice that blinking E! from your earlier post. It was just a matter of time before that unholy virus spread spread!

atomx

I love you guys.

This made me lol hard.

.endejas.

@Colonel Panic: What? That movie was genius. But that's for another argument for another day. Have you ever tried typing a post while watching it in "preview" with the blink tag already engaged? Wow.

@Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy: Yes. but I have no freaking clue

If I was really feeling smart today, the unblinking words would be a code.

Hectorvex

@ezman: Really? I consider it to be the best thing that's ever happened for the Internet. Bring on the blinking!

Jagged Toaster

From wikipedia (citation needed):

The inventor of the blink tag, Lou Montulli, has said repeatedly in interviews that he considers the blink tag to be "The worst thing I've ever done for the Internet."

YAY! Blinking!

ezman

1989 called, and they want their crapper puzzle back.

Myrddin-Wyllt

I find it strange that there is a roll of toilet paper floating in the middle of a bathroom above a bathtub. Hmm.

Jagged Toaster

@atuck: to be honest, if anyone is dropping a dirty bomb at a party, they deserve to have to wipe with their hand and leave the party in shame. you have to unload before getting loaded, so take care of yo bidness prior to going.

Anomynoose

Isn't this the plot of Saw IV?

jw

I think this just makes it a fuckload harder to replace the toilet paper... Which doesn't seem to be that great a puzzler. Can I see a schematic that shows how it actually restricts toilet paper access yet still has a slot in the back? If it DOES work, an you imagine the shithead who would solve the puzzle and then set it back up to piss off everyone else at the party?

atuck

OK, can anyone explain HOW the three seashells worked?

Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy

@HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!: oh, i see. you're de-hairing him....naked? and i know that last statement can be taken as either nut or carmen being naked, so to remove any confusion, yes, i'm talking about nut(s?).

Anomynoose

camwhore ftw

Sh3rpa

@Anomynoose: ...you really wnt me naked...don't you? lol

I am doing IT...putting the Veet on nutbastards beard and hair...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

@Puck: blinking text? what is going on here? this internets is a strange place. i will go consult wikipedia in order to get educated.

Anomynoose

I have nothing of value to add other than the blinking text revival needs to happen NOW. I haven't seen much blink on the internets since the mid-90s.

Puck

@HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!: doing "it"? being deceptive? being a n00b? dancing naked? playing excite bike...naked? for the love of nudity, woman, tell me what you're on about!

ohhh, breathing....naked?

Anomynoose

@Anomynoose: i'm still doing it....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

uhh, sorry to be like a n00b and like so totally not pwnz0rs to the max0rs, but what are blink tags?

Anomynoose

@nutbastard: It's a possibility, that is, unless the webmaster has an epileptic seizure before he can disable it. I'd like to think that the servers at Gizmodo are kept in a quonset hut by the velociraptor pen.

And all others, blame Hectorvex. He brought this on. When you quote a movie of that caliber, not only do you get punished - you take everyone else down with you.

Colonel Panic

@HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!: i think you misunderstood his comment. he was saying that you weren't deceiving, so you're not like a toilet paper puzzle cover. he was implying that you are in fact just like regular toilet paper dispensers.

Anomynoose

@nutbastard: That's it...I'm going to POUR Veet Hair Removal Lotion on your beard and hair and let it fucking eat through the ONLY thing that makes you interesting!

I'm SEXY, okay@! nothing deceiving about that! (remember your chi carmen...breathe inn...WHOOOOOOO, breathe out ahhhhhhhh)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

@OMG! Ponies!: im jumping on the blink bandwagon to see if we can get the blink tag disabled by annoying the frak out of this post.

nutbastard

@Priest:

"It really doesn't look complicated."

neither do women - but we've all gathered that appearances are deceiving. (with a wink and a nod to carmen)

nutbastard

@Hectorvex: Because you went to that bad place, you get the {blink} tags. It is a horrible horrible movie and you deserve to be killed with a tray.

Let this be a warning. Those who go to the bad place get blinked and trayed.

Colonel Panic

That's just begging for an upper-decker

Munch the BanNail

I just took the toilet paper out of the guest bathroom and replaced it with three seashells.

Hectorvex

@HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!: you motherfactor. now i'll have to remove the "towels" portion of my comment with the invisible edit button.

Anomynoose

if i'm at a friend/family member/president's house and they try to leave the paper locked up in a puzzle, i'm wiping with a towel or a pet or their toothbrush. hopefully soft bristles.

Anomynoose

@Kaiser-Machead's Chips Ahoy!: ...or just use their towels. That is what you get, when you fuck with genius lol

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

If I find this in anyone's bathroom, I will take a big steaming dump in the bathtub.

Even if I don't have to go.

And even if someone is passed out in the tub.

Colonel Panic

looks like the paper is already hanging out of the "puzzle"
game over, poop away

godwhacker

Now friends don't let this puzzle daunt
A solution I have, and like to flaunt
If it is this TP that you want
USE THE FUCKING SCISSORS

Kaiser-Machead's Chips Ahoy!

@Anomynoose: whoa whoa whoa, italics only around the "more" please.

Anomynoose

hahaha, more frustrating? any stories you want to lay on us, mr. frucci?

Anomynoose

It really doesn't look complicated.

Priest

@Adam Frucci: Phah! Party Pooper! We have the tag and we will use it. But, please, kill it, kill it now.

maztec

Epileptogenic blink-tags on a 'poop' story? Sounds like 'The Andromeda Strain'...

Stem_Sell

of all the tags that DON'T work (strike through, font size etc) i can't believe blink slipped through the cracks.

although i guess this IS 2008, and taking the time to block such a rarely seen anachronism would be like buying up limes so one doesn't get scurvy.

nutbastard

@Adam Frucci:

the blink tag needs to be addressed somehow - we's just trying to make that painfully clear.

nutbastard

Shake?
Make it stop! Oh my epilepppppppppppppppppsy!

SigmundTheSeaMonster

@Kaiser-Machead's Chips Ahoy!:

yeah i've gone that route too.

nutbastard

about:config > browser.blink_allowed > false? Please??

Kaiser-Machead's Chips Ahoy!

I think I just went cross-eyed

DahCheet

I'd like to help you guys with this blink barrage. Maybe they'll get the message. It makes it unbearable to read. I'd rather be staring at the window.

Darkest Daze

@kaosfere:

Ok, maybe "camwhore" was a bit too strong of a word. To be fair, I have absolutely no evidence of that.

Substitute that "cam" with "attention", please.

kaosfere

@Adam Frucci:

Please please pretty please?

And can you also bring it down on the constant camwhore chatrom OT nonsense upthread here (and everywhere)?

kaosfere

@Darkest Daze: Are you bear food yet? Daze? Darkest? Are you....? Uh ohhhh.

Pixelologist

Drp, it's not even a puzzle. Any tween girl can figure out how to add/remove a lanyard.

Although the real solution is to grab the hand towels and wipe away.

BaseVilliN

@Purple Dave:

Well, you know, when you're sitting there enjoying your morning constitutional and the phone rings...

kaosfere

Interesting. The website adds that "The added necessity to gain access to the toilet roll quickly might make it all that bit more difficult to undo the puzzle." Now, I don't know about anyone else here, but by the time it becomes necessary to access the toilet paper, urgency has pretty much taken care of itself. If that thing were installed over the toilet seat, on the other hand, they'd probably find a nasty surprise in their bathroom trashcan someday (probably not by me, as I'm pretty good with those puzzles, and that one looks particularly non-challenging).

Purple Dave

@Darkest Daze: I think Stephen Colbert said something about blink tags once. I wonder, will they ever disable them? It doesn't help with the headache factor that people are hiding messages in between blink tags.

Ghede

ok, using my keen senses of sight and taste and reading good, i've deduced that words are blinking for you guys? are you talking about the body of the article? i don't see any blinkings and i'm thinking i'm going a little crazy.

Anomynoose

The child proof latch on my toilet is way more challenging than this toilet paper cover.

Set to evil

Seems like an easy puzzle to solve if confronted with this at your friends' house...use their wash cloth! Take that Mr. Funny Man!!!

yougottabekidding

It really DOESN'T seem strong... I could really get pissed off with one of those and just twist the goddamn thing off! :D

Bash_

@kaosfere:
Answering machine. About the only thing I could think of that would constitute an actual TP emergency that this would interfere with is if the building you're doing your business in bursts into flames. At that point, that flimsy wooden capsule gets no mercy.

Purple Dave

this reminds me of the woman who got her ass stuck in the seat of a toilet a while ago...and her boyfriend who insist that she solve the puzzle

chamychan

@Carmen Sucks: touche. Problem is I might not go back to TP. That could get expensive.

rabiddachshund