I hope no one scans in a peice of dirty toilet paper and says its an mp3 player invention in Rorschach form

Rambone

Wouldn't one risk getting a paper cut inserting their p---s into a napkin?

With regards to the rules of the contest, are we allowed to use different colored pens, pencils, or crayons? And can we just scan the napkin into a scanner or a FAX machine if we don't have a good camera?

GiltProto

Favorite commercial is the one where people are complaining how they should have patented their ideas when they had the chance, and this guy holds up a rollerblade that's totally of high-tech manufacturing quality as if he made it on the wooden workbench behind him in his garage.

Rambone

I'm so into this idea.
I have sketches like this coming out of my ears, but they're all on paper, so I'll have to export them to napkin

Evan394

I heard this is how Jonathan Ive comes up with the new Mac designs.

mykalt45

@se7a7n7: You win a cookie:se7a7n7@gizmodo.com/

ripfire

@mildretard: "So is it ok to say 'penis' in this post, then?"

Apparently.

@itchytooth: "*and by 'worms,' I mean 'penises'"

We thought as much.

GadgetPlay

How disappointing that everyone went for the obvious.

No Smell-o-scope or Deathclock jokes?

Dr. Jonas Venture, Jr.

@Log1c: We aim to please.

ps61318

@mildretard: "Penes?" Remind me not to join you for a nice Italian dinner, dude.

ps61318

@ps61318: Hah! I think I know where it went, and I have no idea how that would prevent people from stealing stuff. Congratulations for having a mind so far in the gutter I am impressed.

Log1c

@se7a7n7: You're new here, aren't you.

Gann

@mildretard: Basically, it depends on how long they are. Shorter ones compensate with fancier plural forms, like peniii, pensão, gaggle and drove.

itchytooth

@ps61318: yup me too.

groverdog

So, what do we win?

se7a7n7

@frigg: @LindsayJoy's MBP is into S+M: Oh, man, Frigg, this is almost the equivalent of "Does this (article of clothing) make me look fat?"

Run, my friend, run as fast as your little legs can carry you.

-(:-{D}

ps61318

I think having a stupid contest like this every week is cool... and there should always be a link at the top of the page to the current contest, where they can view the current contest thread and previous contests.

I suck at this sort of stuff, but I enjoy doing it... I'm off to go buy a case of napkins and a few boxes of sharpies now.

Rabid Penguin

@Log1c: Ya know, when I first read that, my mind went in a TOTALLY different direction.

ps61318

@mildretard: Ok, I am backing away from my keyboard. No banhammer necessary.

mildretard

@itchytooth: Is it penises or is it penii?

Never mind, you're right--it's definitely penises. Unless you're a urologist, in which case penes would be acceptable as the latin plural.

Penis penis penis!

Horny.

mildretard

@frigg:

So am I "uncool"?

LindsayJoy's MBP is into S+M

@itchytooth: Pardon me sir, do you have penis in a can?

tucker

@mildretard: Summary of commenting thread:

Making sexual jokes = cool. Becoming a sexual joke = uncool.

frigg

@twreckx:

This is simple. Giz, for the most part, readers are pretty humorous and twisted. So, they create great content that caters to like-minded gadget-obsessed closet freaks. Or perhaps out-in-the-open freaks. The readers love participating, the editors are also pretty out there (See "penis" caption on napkin for reference) and we all enjoy the work. It makes for one happy twisted bunch!

LindsayJoy's MBP is into S+M

@twreckx: They feed off our energy.

itchytooth

@Log1c: Yeah, that's a copyright. He needs a patent, unless he's afraid of them stealing the drawing and selling it as a painting.

Catalyst

I think it's OK if you pronounce it "PEN-NIS" like "TENNIS".

DustyButt

We just got reprimanded and castigated a few days ago about inappropriate gadget posts and now you go and post this!!

Joseph

@romado12187: Just draw the little (c) thingy on the napkin.

Log1c

*and by "worms", I mean "penises"

itchytooth

Y'all are featuring a lot of user-created content lately. Any particular reason?

/honest question ((girl) scout's honour)

twreckx

You're really opening this can of worms?

itchytooth

So is it ok to say 'penis' in this post, then?

mildretard

This sounds like a great way for your electronic sponsors to steal the ideas of your readers.

romado12187

@LUV2CattleCall: Width and Height attributes are your friend.

Rabid Penguin

Southwest airlines was one of those great ideas that started on the back of a napkin:

@kakashisan:

Apparently Giz didn't read it either...since the word Penis is right there above the fold...lighten up!

By the way, if you want an iPod/flashlight, you just set the brightness up all the way, and BAM there you go. I think someone already made an external flashlight that plugged into those old iPods with the remote port by the headphone jack anyways..

@GiltProto:

Depends..are your napkins made out of posterboard or cardstock?

@LindsayJoy's MBP is into S+M:

I read the entire thread about commenting "rules" and was trying to be mature and figured I wouldn't say anything to fuel the fires....but that comment you just made basically proves that all the "defending" you were doing of yourself was complete BS. By the way - nice try trying to equate a pic that had a guy in the background without a shirt on to a picture with boobs as the focal point.

LUV2CattleCall

@Kaiser-Machead's Chips Ahoy!:

Fire up iPhoto/Preview/Photoshop and do some color/saturation adjustments!

Oh I know you can....

LindsayJoy's MBP is into S+M

@Evan394: "I have sketches like this coming out of my ears..."

That's nice, but I believe one parameter of this contest is that the ideas be presented on napkins, not Q-Tips. Ick.

bosskev

Wow. Having read the comments, it's obvious no one read the Giz story about going off topic...

Back on topic, I believe my idea for an Ipod/fleshlight has been stolen...

kakashisan

Damn. The scanner's all busy n' stuff. My camera isn't taking the best shots of this thing.

Kaiser-Machead's Chips Ahoy!

I should get this out of the way before I post anything else...

Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. These Documents are provided on an "as is" basis, without warranty of any kind, either express or implied, including without limitation the warranties regarding the contents or accuracy, authenticity, timeliness, merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose and non-infringement of privately owned rights. The entire risk as to the quality of the Documents is borne by you. Should the Documents contain erroneous or misleading information, you and not DustyButt assumes the entire cost of any service, repair, or therapy sessions.

DustyButt

Calvin already stole my idea of the "Transmogrifier"...just sayin....that.

SigmundTheSeaMonster

Penis Cake.
And why didnt you creat this "contest" before?
Im always sketchin crap when im in the restroom, it's a shame that it all goes down the toilet.
[www.instantrimshot.com]
Get it? because like the u.s economy is going... ahh forget it.

Simpsons-Movie-ruled

Ideally you would need a patent on the product, but I believe even public display of it is some proof that the idea was out there before someone else. Unless X company has proof, besides their cronies.

What's the prize? $$$ $10,000 to make the idea real?

Kidd

@Rabid Penguin: Also you can check "Preview Comment" to see what it will look like.

Rabid Penguin

@LUV2CattleCall:
<IMG src="<image_source>" width="<image_width>" height="<image_height>" />

Example:
<IMG src="http://www.fi.edu/winners/2003/Napkin.jpg" width="100" height="100" />

If you use just width or just height the other will auto-resize to keep aspect ratio.

/thread-jacking-tutorial

Rabid Penguin

I already invented the EZ Pass 19 years ago while drunk on chocolate milk, not that my 5th grade ass got the credit.

Zlevee

@LUV2CattleCall:

after you close the quotes on the URL, put in

height=200

or some other such smallish number (of pixels)

nutbastard

@LUV2CattleCall: becoming the focal point of horny guys who then ruin a thread is not her fault. Stop scapegoating.

Zlevee

@OtioseScandal:

Wow..... only in America! I saw something that looked like a really obtuse plasticly flashlight at MCO when TSA was gutting someone's belongings...I think this may be what it was.

This gem from the Wiki entry is hilarious!:

"The Fleshlight was designed by former police officer Steve Shubin who was suffering a period of forced abstinence while his wife was in a high-risk pregnancy.[2] He was granted a patent in 1998 for his invention, as a "device for discreet sperm collection"."

LUV2CattleCall

@Rabid Penguin:

To be honest, I have barely have a clue on how to post images here (I just the tip from lifehacker) - and after I posted, I saw the the pic was huge. How do make it not hog up so much space?

LUV2CattleCall

@LindsayJoy's MBP is into S+M: You are as cool as the patch of ice and salt under the Phoenix Mars Lander, a mere shot of tequila away from perfection.

@ps61318: How'd I do?

@Simpsons-Movie-ruled: "Im always sketchin crap when im in the restroom,"

Your own, or leftovers from other visitors? [www.instantrimshot.com]

@kakashisan: "going off topic..."

You're right. Sorry. Still, even in the New Normal...

A little nonsense now and then
is cherished by the wisest men.

frigg

@LUV2CattleCall: FLESHlight, not Flashlight... google it. *ahem*

Also: My mouth smells like hamburger.

OtioseScandal

@Rabid Penguin: "Width and Height attributes are your friend."

For most people, perhaps, but don't overlook Girth and Length attributes as well. Certainly some of my best friends...

(There ya' go. Subtle burlesque humor and totally in keeping with Frucci's post.)

bosskev

@LUV2CattleCall: (regarding LindsayJoy's MBP is into S+M) "...that comment you just made basically proves that all the "defending" you were doing of yourself was complete BS."

Umm, LindsayJoy can do a fine job defending herself if she wants, but I gotta jump in here with a great big "HUH?". What comment she just made?

bosskev

@Kidd: "What's the prize?"

If it's a new car battery, you win 300 million dollars.
If it flies to the edge of space twice, you win 10 million dollars.
If it pwns an Iron Chef, you win the people's ovation and fame forever.

frigg

@LUV2CattleCall: Gentle reader, it seems that you are unfamiliar with the goings on at the giz. Wit, humor, liberal doses of sarcasm and the ability to call everyone douchebag at the drop of a hat, abound. Tread lightly, or you may see yourself summarily squashed.
Yours truly,
twreckx

PS LindsayJoy can more than take care of herself. Her macbook sees to that.

PPS How come I can only post on this thread?

twreckx

Jiminy Christmas that is the biggest frickin image of all time!
*shields eyes*

Anyway, I just came by cause I heard someone mention Penis Alla Arrabiata.

92BuickLeSabre

I think this is going to be the best contest of all time.

@Kidd: To the victor goes eternal fame and glory, of course.

Griffehpoo

Time to finally put my crap drawing skills to work on what space colonies are going to look like! OJ

Manator Is Sorry

@frigg: (whispering hoarsly) Dude, the Lime! You forgot the filking Lime!

Other than that, I give it a 9.5/10. Whoo hoo!

ps61318

Costermonger

Costermonger

[www.core77.com]

Costermonger