@diesel828:

um...perhaps it's a British company?

yelraf

I hope they shock the guy with the pacemaker.

diesel828

@forcetrainer: lol did you notice they spelled defense wrong at the beginning of the video? Wow.

Bluesk1d

This would be so trivial to defeat/counter that its shameful it was ever proposed.

Step 1: Slip a piece of anything non-conductive over the contacts.

Step 2: There is no step 2.

Depending on the contact size, you could use anything from a strip of electrical tape to part of a latex glove. Or you could short out the bracelet with a piece of metal with insulation on one side.

Or you could just cut it off, smash it against something hard, or put the receiver into a small faraday cage, thus blocking the activation signal. There are more ways to defeat this than there are ways it could work as designed.

wlcrm

@DeadWriter: Oooh... and people can call in to vote people off the plane.

Susan has won immunity this round. She can either keep the immunity parachute or give it to someone else. It looks like she's going to keep it this round. I'm sorry Johnny it looks like we're going to have to push you overboard.

Rabid Penguin

My fave is the drink flying through the air. Talk about a shitty flight. The guy in front of the drunk gets shocked and covered in a Jack and Coke.

This will be great especially when someone figures out a hack much like when Giz took the TV remote to the conference and shut down the displays. Ya great idea. Even better, a short in the system that shocks random people every time turbulance comes about. Ya I could go on all day on how terrible this idea is.

MorganRW

And there is nothing stopping a person from disabling the device with a pice of insulation.

Now if this was a quorum sensing system, where the passengers votes determine shocking, then I'm all for it.

DeadWriter

In the past I've jokingly said the answer to all the problems and inconveniences of flying is to simply knock all the passengers out.

You know things are getting scary when it starts looking like we're on a path that'll lead directly to that...

NYCJason

The security implications of this are stunning. Stunningly bad.

With as common as these could be, how hard will it be for people to get controller units? They'd be able to single handily incapacitate the whole passenger section, leaving the flight crew with no help in the event of an emergency. Who was it that crashed flight 93? Who was it that has tackled every terrorist who has tried anything in the past eight years? Yeah, the passengers.

Imagine the liability the airlines would face, too. Joe the flight attendant is dealing with an unruly passenger, shocks them, but, OOPS, missed by one, and now grandma is on the floor in cardiac arrest.

Hijakk

That's hilarious... and yet disturbing at the same time.

Rabid Penguin

@forcetrainer: But it doesn't mention the most 1337 of terrorists - what do you do when one geek reprograms his bracelet to shock everyone else and subdue the entire plane without leaving his chair!!

behavin

the last panel made this worthwhile.

holy moly i just started reading diamond age so i'm freaked out to be seeing something originally created for animals being used on people

quick question...what stops the terrorist from say...putting something between the electrical device and his wrist (prevent himself from being shocked), then grabbing the controller and shocking everyone like they do in that last square?

honestly if they found a way around the wrist devices (which seems totally doable) it would be more helpful than hurtful to terrorists...

jrghoull

@92BuickLeSabre: MAB - mutual assured buzzing

itchytooth

You know, I flew on China recently on a shiny new plane. There was a malfunction with the interior lights, and my section of the cabin was left in complete and total darkness for 12 hours. Additionally, the flight attendants insisted that the window shades remain down for the duration... so we sat in almost total darkness for most of the flight.

If they can't figure out how to work the lights, I dread to imagine the airlines with the ability to inflict pain at will. "Sorry guys, there's some sort of malfunction, so you're going to be zapped continuously for the next 12 hours. No, sorry, it's against FCC regulations for you to remove the bracelets."

Lodril

are they out of their f-ing mind? tasers are not even that effective on people who know how to mentally overcome the pain-- especially terrorist types what are they gonna bolt a dinky 10,000 volt taser to peoples wrist?

jpitsch

Giz...seriously. How in the hell did you think that last panel was serious. I mean...come on.

BonoMan

wouldn't it be easier to put the guts into, say, a red jewel implanted in the palm of your hand at birth?

godwhacker

OMG the final scene is hillarious I busted out laughing here at work and everyone ran to my screen! lol :)

fusedinertia

Hahahahah they all died.

kevman90

@forcetrainer

poor grandma is the knife wielding terrorist!

Costermonger

And what about when a flight attendant decides to take over a plane? What then?

We must all have the controllers as well so that we can *buzz* Ow, stop that *buzz*...hey, fine you want to play it that way *BUZZ* Ha..not so funny now is *buzz* Damn it! Knock it *buzz* Mother of God!

92BuickLeSabre

@jayhawk11:
Agreed. McCain wouldn't stand for that shit.

yelraf

I like the cup of coffee in the last picture that has been thrown into the air. Fake, but funny as hell.

"Thank you for flying Lufthansa."

Sora57

@forcetrainer: Knock her off of that damned wheelchair...

So I can finally get the extra leg room.

bobx3

don't you even read your sources? the last image was clearly added on. the blurring around the people is completely different, and was just added for dramatic effect.

also, i love that their website is blocked at work because it's classed as 'weapons'.

digitalhen

platypus - agreed

Plus there's now someone else in the seat of the knife wielding terrorist.

i_prefer_sasquatch

The video at the manufacturer's site is priceless - view here

My favorite line:

"The electromuscular disruption signal overrides the attacker's central nervous system and will render even the most elite and aggressive terrorist completely immobile for several minutes."

What the hell is it going to do to poor grandma?!?

forcetrainer

OK, that last panel is clearly fake. The passengers are much sharper than their surroundings and the other 2 guys and how they looked in the other panels.

Interesting idea, though... Terrible, but interesting.

Platypus Man

"You WILL stay in your seat until the captain turns off the seatbelt sign, and you WILL NOT crowd around the lavatory."

EBone

i think the last one is a reaction to the airline playing Water World as the in flight movie.

nosebleed

lol!

man that's a great idea....wait for the malfunction in which everyone gets shocked at the same time for the entire flight!!!!

ceez

This is funny in a sick way, but aside from that I am creeped out by the idea that all of the passengers should be abused for the misbehavior of one jerk. But, aside from that imagine the class action law suit that would begin if this tactic was applied once. Maybe the airlines actually want to go out of business in a quick and dirty way.

sonophy

"WHY DIDN'T YOU HELP ME?"
*Everyone stares*
"Fine, idiots"
*Shocks everyone*

bobx3

And, with DHS's blessing, we take another step towards becoming a police state. This election can't come quick enough.

jayhawk11

Those are some insane and awesome poses, though.

MastaFalse

I love the last Picture!

B1663R

How about we just give everyone bark collars and stun them for talking?

-------
ForceTrainer
Check out how two geeks get into shape without killing themselves at [www.hardbodygeeks.com]

forcetrainer

That's not real. Come on. Joke!

MastaFalse

They gotta get it on my wrist first.

Geisrud

Darwin award bitches!

xacked

@nutbastard: But maybe it's tamper proof... removing it after take off, but before landing will kill you (and only you). Or perhaps the bracelet is made from adamantium.

Rabid Penguin

You know - this could work! One thing though: put Samuel L. Jackson up there as a flight attendant.

"Oh you think I'm just going to let you all just sit there, nodding politely and smiling and drinking your damned tea while I have to deal with this guy? You think I'm going to let that shit slide? I DON'T THINK SO, M**THERFU**ER!"

wolfshades

@jayhawk11: oh yeah, the newly elected president is going to turn this monster around. Yup, umm hmm. Right.

Think again. Really truly think again. Cuz if we don't ALL start realizing, then ACTING like personally and civically responsible adult human beings then this once great country is truly and irreparably effed.

On topic I actually like the underlying concept (being able to control the entire crowd aboard public transport in the event that individuals begin making a raucous) but clearly this will not be viable. People with pacemakers, people with weak cardiovascular systems, the elderly and the children wouldn't be good subjects for this experiment.

Hey, how about making it impossible for people to get into or out from the cockpit whilst inflight? My God, it's full of stars!!

banmojo

good thing the knife wielding terrorist would never be smart enough to first use the knife to cut off the bracelet.

These could be great for shocking the stewardesses while they try to serve drinks. Or possibly for reheating your food if its cold when it finally makes it to you.

citizensmith

Slip an insulator between the contacts and your skin and it's useless. or gee, i dunno, perhaps a man smart enough to sneak a knife onto a plane would also have the cognitive capacity to REMOVE THE SHOCKING BRACELET?

nutbastard

Ah yes, another way to harm the innocent and give a hijacker an easier way to disable everyone. Wireless, eh? I wonder how long it would be before the kid next store rigged something up so each time a plane takes off over his house, everyone on board would get zapped.

Therefore, I conclude, this is a joke. Nothing more.

thebear91

yeah, SLIGHT difference in the blurry edges of the previous panels and the sharp edges of the last one.

Oh gizmodo, you so silly!

atuck

Nobody's gonna use the "Don't taze me bro"?

Anywho, I would have a little fun figuring out how to tinker with it. Zapping people at random would be fun, especially done when they say a certain word. Or in the bathroom.

secretmanofagent

Excuse me, I have a silly question... How many in-flight-over-the-US-terrorist-attacks have there been since 9/11?

ANoel

@i_prefer_sasquatch: Oh you did notice, thank you, for a second I thought I better put my bong down for a while.

catfewd

has anyone noticed the fact that there are 4 passengers + 1 knife wielding terrorist in the first two frames and 5 shocked passengers + 1 shocked knife wielding terrorist in the third frame? I've never been all that good with math but the only thing I can come up with is that the 6th guy was in the bathroom for the duration of the knife attack, then came back to his seat and got punished along with the rest even if he didn't have the chance to save the male steward's life. Seems very undemocratic... Downright makes me lose all faith in the system.

I second the shenanigans :)

catfewd

even if it were real why would they help they know that the guy with the the knife will be shocked

a_coathanger

The Washington Times. Look at the source. Who owns the Washington Times? The Korean-based Unification Church, the Moonies!.

The WT is so far right it makes McCain/Bush look like a bunch of Commie Pinko Fascist Hippies.

Rick36

@ANoel:
That's an interesting question as there are "On any given day, more than 87,000 flights are in the skies in the United States."*

If each flight only averaged 100 people, that would be 8,700,000 potential terrorists above the US a day.

Is this device being marketed by Haliburton, or Unicor [www.unicor.gov]
or by whom?

As the author of the original Washington Post article says...
"It calls to mind on(e) of my favorite speeches given by an American Founding Forefather, Patrick Henry, who said,

"Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!""

* [www.natca.org]

ANoel

I read the patent 6933851. Agree with others... Easy to defeat the design and the patent itself. The design is naive and is too complex, and that makes it vulnerable to a hack. Simple for a competitor to design around the patent and put them out of business. Way too much liability.

craighyatt

or heck, slide a piece of plastic under the contacts to your skin, bracelet useless again.

jam3972

these comments are too long for me to check if someone has mentioned this already but..

the demo video shows some terrorist with a knife getting shocked into submission. tell my WHY would he still have that stupid bracelet on?

even if it locks somehow I'm sure he could cut it off with the knife...

it's like DRM all over again, a hassle to all the people following the rules and a mere inconvenience to those set out to break them.

jam3972

Sorry, that last panel looks like a Photoshop. You fooled us, guy with rudimentary knowledge of the human anatomy!

Jason, my name is Chris Walters. I wrote the Consumerist post and doctored up that last panel myself. I work for Gawker just like you! And I used Gimp, not Photoshop.

Chris Walters

If you're really Chris Walters, then where did that sixth passenger come from?

Elliuotatar

omg this is the greatest idea ever....totally make it happen plz!!! i smell lawsuits and money, a lot of money.

chamychan

It's not real, no references, they got suckered on this. Even though Homeland Security and FEMA is run by the adults from South Park, not even this would ever pass.

Hello_Newman

I hope that they get all of the glitches worked out

Pi-face

@forcetrainer: The Fairness Doctrine!!!

@sonophy: "Maybe the airlines actually want to go out of business in a quick and dirty way."

Another Product of the Government Schools.

@forcetrainer: "What the hell is it going to do to poor grandma?!?"

What's your point?

@yelraf: "Agreed. McCain wouldn't stand for that shit."

Unfortunately not.

@yelraf: "um...perhaps it's a British company?"

That sort of common sense will not be allowed here!

@banmojo: "if we don't ALL start realizing, then ACTING like personally and civically responsible adult human beings then this once great country is truly and irreparably effed."

Whoa, are you just WAY out of line!!!!

@ANoel: "How many in-flight-over-the-US-terrorist-attacks have there been since 9/11?"

Many fewer (zero) attacks than attempts (some), thanks to the preventative measures put in place by the horrible Bush administration and its reprehensible allies.

@Rick36: "Who owns the Washington Times? The Korean-based Unification Church, the Moonies!."

And they are RIGHT how? As opposed to Pinch and Little Pinch not being LEFT? You just keep getting YOUR NEWS, and more importantly YOUR OPINIONS (God knows, you're incapable of forming your own) from NPR and MOTHER JONES... you'll be fine.

GadgetPlay

@jpitsch: Actually, tasers aren't about pain, the muscles convulse from the shock. Doesn't matter how well you're trained, your muscles tense - the pain's just a side effect. That's why so many people who accidentally grab a "hot" wire die - their hand clenches around it and they simply CANNOT let go.

Done that myself twice, fortunately with low power systems. It's why they always tell you that in the event of such an occurrence, knock the wire away with something non-conductive. Because if you grab them, YOUR muscles will clench, and you won't be able to let go.

Ed.

Ed_Becerra

If the tests on airplanes go well, the next phase will involve mandatory wearing by all people above age 5 at all times.

puzz

The amazing thing is that some people actually accepted this was real.

Maroons.

dbett

@bobx3: LOL

This reminds me of Wedlock [www.imdb.com] ... who's getting paid to come up with this ideas?

G2GdoB2B

@puzz: I'd suggest getting the below-5 crowd first. "No, you can't have a candy bar!"

Hijakk

And cattle class becomes even more so...

Worf

Right after 911 my first thought was "They should hand out a Glock 17 with 1 round in the mag to every passenger onboard that way if someone decides to go loco there's a few hundred bullets waiting for his ass"

vertigo

This would be really scary to wear this.

It's like having a remote-controlled Taser aimed at you and all of the thousands of other people from when you enter the airport to when you leave.

MePerson

They should make you wear this all the time if you want to fly. That way, the next time an a**hole gives me crap at work about the seat he was assigned.....ZAPP!!!!

lefonceobscure