The sad thing is, someone, somewhere is wearing one of these right now. Or at least a sock with a rubber band.

Hectorvex

@Itsuru: What, iPhones and penis enhancement?

Seems like a natural progression.

strider_mt2k

I am glad to know its not just women that are screwed up.

Curves

I'm liking Gizmodo's new direction...

Itsuru

I love that its on ebay and only in german. i also enjoyed this line: "Because we all know that the key for a man's happiness is a penis as big as a bottle of wine with veins like lizards' tails." thank you jesus, i believe you may have made my day.

danger the pirate

Jebus, just tie it around your neck and do us all a favor if you're that hung up on your penis.

Man, it must REALLY suck to be whoever would consider this.

strider_mt2k

Good grief... Is this what we have devolved into. Ugh!

gaiking

I honestly have no clue what I'm looking at...

ttech10

On a side note, I think I will start measuring little SteveDave in metric. Thank you Pep!

Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy

Apparently, my "content blocker" has failed.

Sora57

Wasn't this in the movie 100 Girls?

Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy

@Gillonde: Women don't want a larger penis ON them, they want a larger penis IN them. So in that context, it makes sense.

Hectorvex

I am getting 2 of these contraptions one for the shaft and one for the swingers.
I mean come on guys u do want them to match.

GDUB

It's about damn time they make something idiotic for men. usually us women get stupid things to "help us out". like making our boobs grow with a cream or suction cup that looks kinda like a plunger.

whatevernever

That's not mine, baby, yeah!

I don't even know what that is.

ideaman2020

Those pictures make me cringe. I will definately not be buying a competing product.

Plecky

from the English translation:

" Many women and men wish for a larger penis and a more active sex life."

Am I the only one who thinks there is something wrong with that sententence? :P

Gillonde

So, in Germany, mannequins have anatomically correct junk?

frndlybnny

I just wouldn't want to have to wear underwear that look like that, heh.

maven2k

You know, just yesterday, I was talking to this German fellow and he kept making these odd noises and twisting his face around like his...well, like he was using one of these devices.

friendslikeJimRome

@whatevernever: we are idiots, we dont need any products to help us along in that department

Grahmo

How about that side boob? Does that turn you on? Well, it shouldn't... because that's my side boob.

pj737

Actually is says on ebay that it's 69 Euros. For that money, you could make 10 and sell them at sex shows or something. You'd make a killing.

Kareem King

@frndlybnny: I don't know about the guy mannequins, but I noticed all the girl mannequins have really nice nipples.

GeekyNerdGuy

OMG!!!!! Dude! THIS IS A PENIS MIGHTIER!!!!!

Flem

My God, a cock-trebuchet mounted inside granny panties. Sign me up for 2.

Meatlocker - still a man, despite his white iPhone fetish.

@Gillonde: Honestly, right now I'de settle for the active sex life, and little SteveDave can stay the same size.

Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy

@GeekyNerdGuy: I'm packing over 19 myself.

Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy

Europenii just sound bigger because they're measured in centimeters instead of inches.

Just remember ladies, it's a 2.54-to-1 ratio.

GeekyNerdGuy

Gunther Approved:

N@tedog

In soviet russia, your penis enhances YOU!

dhekke

@N@tedog iiinnnnn spaaaaaaace!: Perfect, I base all of my purchases based on Gunther approval.

sisedi

Redonkulus!
But, I have a surefire way to add 3" to my penis.
My girlfriend.

ANoel

I dont know if you guys checked out the attempt at foiling the hopefully imaginary competition. Look top right

You see with other slingshot devices, the penis suffers, and by suffers it really means suffocates in a noose. Worry not young Germans! Your penis will be happy with this particular slingshot because... uhh.... hmm... Just give the damn thing a smiley face.

That diagram just made me spit coffee on myself.

atuck

i refuse to take anything seriously when it includes tighty whities.

tallboy

Well won't it at least prevent the "tenting effect" at an inopportune moment (ie during a presentation at a meeting)?

ripfire

@ANoel: Comment of the day

Josh_Geyer

I'm surprised there hasn't been one reference to The Penis Mightier from Celebrity Jeopardy. Gussy it up however you want Trebeck, but will it truly Mighty my Penis?

Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy

@Obee Juan: I tried that one, and ended up walking half goose-step like I was trying out for the Third Reich. I tried using it as a scarf, but when a cute gal walked past me I almost strangled myself.

I really just don't know what to do. I'm afraid that if I used this slingshot to tie it down, it might snap off and kill a nun or something.

Xavoc

I see Trebeck finally got off of his gold mine and did something with it!

Xavoc

The smile on the illustrated dick is pricelesss.

Hap-penis.

Sora57

That device looks really awkward. I'll just continue keeping my penis tucked down my pants' leg, tyvm.

Obee Juan

@wolfshades: In Texas it's not sports car as much as it is HUGE jacked-up pickup trucks.

GeekyNerdGuy

@maztec: Next time pull up the opening act from Springtime For Hitler instead...

Xavoc

People! Don't buy this thing. Don't do it.

Enlarge yourself the natural way, the way nature intended: buy a sports car. A big one. Red, if you can get it. With a rag top.

wolfshades

@Sora57: Same . . . I was giving a lecture, which involved demonstrating Google Reader, pulled up Google Reader, and this was at the top of it. I did not look immediately, so spoke for about a minute as the room snickered. Finally, I looked at the monitor and realized what was on it.

Thank you very much for not letting the NSFW filter catch this one guys. Do not know what you did, but it sucks. What was worse? There irony was that, I am in Germany - good thing nobody noticed Xavoc's Third Reich comments, I would have been in big trouble. Meh.

maztec

@itchytooth: Tell me how that goes... maybe you could make a diy guide or something.

Edi_bOMB

Thanks for putting this CRAP in my newsreader feed, complete with pictures. I'll miss Gizmodo.

Gadgetdon

@Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy: I'm surprised you didn't notice the 2 references to "The penis Mightier" before your comment of "I'm surprised there hasn't been one reference to The Penis Mightier from Celebrity Jeopardy." Good eye, way to read all those comments first.

faabshaam

$69? Puhleese. I make my own out of dental floss and duct tape.

itchytooth

Money is the great penis equalizer. Everybody knows that.

hardenstuhl

Great! Just what everyman needs - a giant CROOKED penis.

Noobs-R-Us

The ideal penis for pleasing your woman should be the diameter of an infant's head.

women love childbirth, right?

EQC

I don't... get it though, what does it do? rather how does it do?

kmkl

@faabshaam: OK, I blame this on the nested comments add-on for FF. I makes some comments disappear. I apologize.

Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy

@Noobs-R-Us: Well, the instructions actually say to pull it one way on one day, and the other way the next ... er, I mean, I'm guessing that's what they said if someone had them.

GeekyNerdGuy

@itchytooth: Well, my penis has turned green, so I think it worked.

itchytooth

I agree with Curves.

Sure that thing will make your penis longer, but it may not WORK anymore after all that stretching. Also, what happens to a rubber tub when you stretch it? Sure it gets longer, but it looses girth and any lady'll tell you, that's where the size matters. No woman wants a long toothpick, unless they're trying to clean their teeth.

KLanD

@Curves: Size has some to do, but it depends upon the woman and what she requires in order for satisfaction to be achieved. Some women really are size queens. Most men could do well to simply grow a spine and learn some empathy.

Xavoc

I hate to burst long held beliefs (and you guys wont believe me anyway), but really, size has little to do with satisfying a woman, its all about attitude. Quality over quantity any day. "Huge" is overrated (and too damn much work). Its like climbing Mt Everest; maybe its ok to do once in your life, but do you really want to climb it every day? I dont, not even with a whole pack of sherpas to boost my a$$ up there. Save your pennies, develope a personality and you will do better with the ladies.
Humor, Intelligence and Passion, thats where its at.

Curves

So, this is how the site evolves into Fleshbot.

liveallnight

this complicates using a urinal. unless you stand 90* to it.

honozooloo

@Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy: All men love the metric system, because it's so easy to be a perfect 10.

infmom

1) i thought germans in general don't need to worry about the size of their manhood

2) this device is probably for the kind of german man that shows a big smile with this thing on under his black stretch vinyl leggings

3) what about scrotum enlargement? clamps pulling the balls in all direction?

chamychan

Benny, your penis scares me. Please. You are huge! You are a Jewish mutant. I think I would die and not be able to walk for weeks if ever. How many girls have told you that you are *just too big*? Normally I am a multiple round kinda girl but now really, how did Tracie make it? Painkillers? This adds a whole new dimension to Benny in the bathtub. Wow.

@infmom:

Not a size queen...

LindsayJoy's MBP is into S+M

I'd use one of those, but I'm afraid another loop around the waist might become noticeable... ;)

Bokusatsu_Tenshi

I wonder if they have a thong or crotchless version? :-)

Siouxperman

As a wow fan, I can think of similarities with this:
[www.wowhead.com]

nexgenmax

My little ponies! This looks more like a device to hide your man-bits. All strangled and folded up like that... what a discomforting thought.

And what is the "happy penis" lying in? Is that like a penis sled?

CmdrHunt

@chamychan: German men's two biggest fears: black men got the longest, and jewish men can do it the longest.

hanswurst0815