Simple Solution: Hire someone to activate your 3G phone(s), and steal a working iPhone from a strange so you have something to use today. Problem solved.

You can thank me later.

Monty

@carvelo: So it's safe to assume that you're not a long-time XBox user, eh? :P

Kaiser-Machead's Chips Ahoy!

+ Watch video

Mr.DuckSauce

that's a nice looking brick, though. Where's the pricing?

waterwizard

This from the same guy who yesterday declared the Blackberry dead at the hands of the iPhone 3G. Would you like to amend your statement?

Yznel

I have no sympathy for the legions of disappointed iPhone lovers. You -=knew=- it would be a clusterfrak to buy 3G or upgrade to 2.0 firmware today, yet the compulsion to either 1) ride the bleeding edge or 2) show off and brag made you vulnerable. Don't get me wrong, the coverage of this non-event is great. I'm really enjoying all the whining and hand-wringing. Long after the withered, dessicated bodies of the disappointed crumble and blow away from the doorposts of the AT&T store, I'll walk right into the temple of the fruit and leave 15 minutes later with a functioning device. I will quietly smile and congratulate myself and the pleasure will be all mine. Aaah.

ninjagin

hahaha thats great

nEmmY

Does this come with free shipping? I think that the free shipping might cut into the huge profit margin that Apple is accustom. And yes, even Apple is fallible and thus why we all need a sense of humor (hint hint to some above!!)

:)

andrelix

Microsoft schadenfreude alert!

ljj

@cameleon50:

I work for at&t and am an apple fan...but you are barking up the wrong tree. Apple uses at&t's systems to activate along with all other at&t wireless phones. Guess what? All other at&t phones are activating just fine...itunes/Apple is just bombing before they can get the activation request over to at&t.

So:

1) Go to Consumerist
2) Find AAPPLE Executive phone numbers and emails
3) Send angry email to Apple Executives
4) Exhale

sigep440

In a later press release concerning the iPhone 3G's activation issues, it was heard that Mr. Jobs proclaimed that it was "All for the lulz".

jackfrost132

I think I saw a forward facing camera on the iBrick...can someone confirm?

Mayor McRib

Apple is promising free tin cans with strings to use while your phone is down.

ljj

@cameleon50:

1) Go to Consumerist
2) Find ATT Executive phone numbers and emails
3) Send angry email to ATT Executives and one S. Jobs.
4) Exhale

You will feel much better.

Captain Slow and his Flying Washing Machine

They should have rolled 2.0 out earlier so we didn't have all the 1st gen users trying to download and sync at the same time all the new 3G users are trying to sync and activate. Very dumb move on both parties. Right now my sexy white 16 gig is sitting on my desk with it's tail tucked between it's legs waiting for Apple to get the servers online. Very lame.

dirtybird1977

Even the little Guided tour dude has an iBrick...

love the details

Stabio

@drigo02: It comes w/ the territory of being a first adopter. People who already have a 1st gen and can't get a 3G for whatever reason can still have 2.0 - so I think I still made out pretty doggone well.

If I could only get my shit to re-sync now. (2.0 installed, activated, still can't get backup of 1.1.4 stuff to re-sync)

shorty63136

i'm kinda glad that things arent going apple's way. the iphone is sorta cool as a device, but not as a phone, which is what it essentially is.

perhaps the stock will drop a few points out of this.

xevious11

iPissed my pants when I read that post. So funny!

DW

Well that sucks. They didn't even give us a chance to choose a color. Personally I'd rather have a Mesquite iBrick over a Terracotta one. PFFTTT...

bobojuice

yeah so i just spent the last 2 hours on the phone trying to get some tech support with apple. after about 200 calls, reinstalling itunes, manually forcing my iphone to connect to my computer, screaming, offering my soul to satan, getting saved by jesus, and swearing my next phone is going to be a windows based device, i finally got on the phone with an apple rep who simple said, the servers are currently down, leave your phone connected and it will complete the update when the servers are back up. thanks apple, next time post something on your website...

tehdorkz

Left the Austin Domain store VERY disappointed. What a freckin' wast of time! Stacks of iPhones and they cannot activate a one. And...You are not allowed to walk out of the store with them. AArrrggghhh!!

Excuses they gave me -

- Servers were crashing in the back
- iTunes was crashing
- You cannot have a corporate discount on your AT&T plan
- You are not eligible for an iPhone upgrade even though you have had an AT&T phone for a year now. (What the...?)

I left -

cameleon50

@friedgold: It's not just a phone!! It's the JesusPhone. How well would a few Jehova's Witnesses do without their Jesus material? Or a Born Again? Ask the Dub what he does without his daily dose of church... I'll tell ya what happens -- He'd be back on the sauce while skiing so fast, Amadinejhad's head would spin!

So what are people who bought into the "Mac, it just works" philosophy doing with themselves? They don't know how to DO anything because it's all done for them. Now WHAT!?!?!?!

qbrad

Haha, it's a sad day for the Apple fanboy...such a public display of failure here...and I own an iPhone. The iPod, iPhone is one of the least reliable gadgets I've ever owned and I accept its flaws because it's got a neat design and has a lot of useful features. I just wish Apple would stop picking nits on Windows reliability issues when their products cause me more headaches than Microsoft's ever have.

carvelo

This is not shocking at all. Apple could not have expected there to be this many people to be buying the iPhone. I overheard one executive say that he only expected a few hundred to be sold the first day.

ljj

I'm so glad I decided not to get the iphone 3G on the release date. Word to the not so wise; Never buy the 1st version of any new tech...even if it is the latest and greatest upgrade, to last years' latest and greatest....OoHH you know what I'm saying...

drigo02

Jesus,Diaz... :)

yoshi

@soulfinger: Geez, buzzkill much?

I think it's great that Apple is building on its success, don't you?

ps61318

iOops....

thomasora

So glad they went through all this activation trouble to stop people from unlocking.

Serves them right.

warrenpeace

LOL, I love it. So Apple isn't perfect, who knew?

RobotVampire

iPwned

MikeSWelch

Patience takes to damn long.

Curves

Another reason to jailbreak!

Chelseafc65

LOL.... too funny!

Ken_Darrow

One can only imagine the new potty talk words being invented and bellowed at Apple minions by Steve.

Gizmo

@chrstphr: Is it really that hard for you to take a good humor post?

I swear some people on this site are HILARIOUS, then theres always those few jerk offs who just HAVE to spoil the good fun.

iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!

"HA-HA!" Nelson quietly points at losers lining up for bricks...

MariaOzawa

Is it really that hard to wait until they sort it all out? Grab a coffee, read a book..

chrstphr

Come on people, what do you expect, with thousands of people world wide trying to do the same thing (thousands of times each), Apple's network isn't God. Just wait a bit, good frickin God!

duuktoprock

Just be thankful that your only problem is your stinkin phone, and not that someone's trying to cut your arms and legs off or blow up your family with a roadside bomb.

soulfinger

HAHAAAA - Apple now has their own 'Vista.' I love it.

Munch the BanNail

AHA
early adopters.
poor aapl...

zackthebuddha

RE: remps

Yeah, I agree this is just stupid. So they have had some issues today cause 10 katrillion people are trying to buy these at the same time. Big deal. They'll have it sorted out soon enough.

Way to overreact guys!

soulfinger

apple really dropped the ball on this one...
...but they'll have their servers up by tomorrow, and everything will be right with the world. people need to calm down, you can go a few hours without a phone.

friedgold

Without a set of googly eyes to paste to it, how is this going to sell?

Also, they may want to upgrade their stores with the same safety glass seen in Aliens, cuz bricks are gonna fly.

Kaiser-Machead's Chips Ahoy!

This is just wrong for all the people that are struggling :).

Joseph

I haven't slept in 28 hours and I ponied up $240...for this? This is almost grounds for a homicide. At least the anti-glare screen protector I bought is nice. :|

i BaldEagle

You guys are really bored... meh.

remps

The "breaking Windows was actually a GREAT JOKE.

And Yeah Carmen I could imagine those rough edges would leave quite a scar.

Googlemyname

It's not completely useless. I'm sure one of it's features is the ability to tie a note around it then throw it through someones window.

ttech10

Sweet Jesus.

I'm an Apple (and iPhone) fanboy and all, but you'd think someone stole all the nerds' Mountain Dew.

shocker

I hear its harder to jailbreak when bricks are involved.

nicroma

Do you know how hard it's going to hurt when I turn the iBrick into the iVibe!?

iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!

It's a Bill Gates fault. I'm bet on that...

:P

John Prado

"this product will destroy windows" I found the double meaning. Can I have my cookie now?

Quicksilver4648

@carvelo: THANK YOU APPLE! You made my day! My phone is now alive again, I was getting worried. Still, GG Apple, very smooth launch :)!

tharbauer

ha, ha

fastm3driver

@iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!:
Waiting for the video review....

Y2KGTP

@i BaldEagle: Cool, thanks for you input. My friends were having some problems with it so I wanted to know. The server seems to be back up online.

Joseph

@ninjagin:

for a ninja, you sure do talk a lot.

Parapraxis

IT'S ALLIIIIIVVEE!!! My old iPhone was finally able to connect to the iTunes store and it's back. Was I just lucky or are other seeing the same thing?

carvelo

Auntie Em, Uncle Henry, Toto! It's a tempest in a teapot! It's a tempest in a teapot!

The Terminator

I kept switching back between the store and my phone in iTunes and suddenly it just came alive. I can't give much more information than that. Maybe they fixed the problem? Whatever happened, I am registering as we speak and everything seems to be working fine. Hopefully everyone else can get this to happen too.

i BaldEagle

@i BaldEagle: What did you do?

Joseph

"it just works"

kevininstereo

@duuktoprock: HEY WE DIDNT CRAM , we walked in calmly and asked for a dry martini and their latest 3G models.

iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!

HOLY SHIT my phone works!!!

i BaldEagle

What really pisses me off about this situation is that they are providing no updates or news concerning the problem. I mean, if xbox live goes down, you have Major Nelson checking in at least every couple of hours letting you know what's going on/how long the wait will be. We hav had nothing of the sort, and the only official message has been from AT&T

Amsterdaam

Got mine home unactivated and it started working randomly, signal and all. I eventually got iTunes to work, and it's fully functional now. :-)

I have no idea how it was working before I activated it thru iTunes.

dcdttu

@Mr.DuckSauce: I actually put my hand to my mouth, I was in such shock, LMAO. That was HILARIOUS!

iCarmen 2.0-Yellow Free Edition!

I'm actually pretty happy about this whole ordeal. We have now gotten two non-iphone posts in a row! Good news.

capitalass

@Mayor McRib: LMAO =D

I love listening to all you people rant about your iPhone problems. I'm an Apple fan myself... but i'm not an idiot. Its not Apple's fault, its all you people who have to cram through the doors just to be first, then wander why your all stuck.

duuktoprock

I will once again channel Nelson here...

Hah hah~!

HeartBurnKid

@drigo02: If no one ever bought the first version of any new tech then no one would buy any new tech and then there would be no reason for a 2nd version. Jeez.

ethanlechcharles

For those of us that get this as an RSS feed, it wasn't really clear that this was a joke... called my gf and told her to go home. Can I sleep on your couch tonight?

mach1andy

@Curves: Patients are for doctors.

Xavoc

@tharbauer: "Very smooth launch" What, exactly, was smooth about it? The waiting in line this morning or the inability of it to function for the first few hours that you had it?

carvelo

@Parapraxis: I also write fantastically long run-on sentences. Who says ninjas don't talk a lot, anyway?

ninjagin

It's not so much that the phone is bricked and can't get any calls on my 16Gb iPhone "classic", it's that I can't use ANYTHING on it. I use the iPod and so many of the other features constantly. Being forced to listen to the local radio stations here is pure torture!

Boo Apple. Boo.

ddaq89

Response v2: I want one and not one of those construction site knockoffs.

ExNinja

@Googlemyname: Scars are hot

Nemesisesq

Oh shoot. Now I'm going to have to get another belt clip.... and another belt.

ExNinja

@Munch the BanNail: Actually, people WANT to buy the iPhone, are SPENDING money on the purchase, have a few hours of HURDLES to overcome at which point it will JUST WORK.

Compare that to being FORCED to take Vista, MADE to spend money to get XP, an HOUR or so of install attempts at which point you'll have to reinstall again to get the same MEDIOCRE experience

chonnes

Mines working. Jags at the stores told me I couldn't upgrade because my AT&T account has a 10% IBM employee discount. I quickly called AT&T and removed it. Then it worked fine. Ironic...my IBM discount wasn't letting buy a Apple. :D

CEOself

after firmware update it took approximately 2 hours to activate.

rurena

Workaround found for 1st gen upgrade to 2.0.

I tried everything. Eject, remount, repeat. Then I even restarted the computer (PC). Then I went to the "Help" menu and checked the "Run Diagnostics". I even inserted a CD so it could run that test. All of the tests passed, green circles everywhere. Then I clicked on my "iPhone" under Devices and it synced.

So try the "Run Diagnostics" in the help menu. Worked for me!!!

Ziggy13

Well, Mr. Diaz, at least find comfort in knowing that if the whole Gizmodo gig doesn't work out you'll have a solid spot at the Onion.

mattxcorePOP

That's not funny. Had to say it.

EditorinChief

frustration and dissatisfaction in the iphone ranks? tell me its not so..

still need a new KB

corhou99

frustration and dissatisfaction in the iphone ranks? tell me its no so..

corhou99

Hilarious, had to say it.

toolverine

@friedgold: I love it. This "hiccup" is exactly the kinda crap applefreaks give non-shiny-stuff shit for, and yet, when it happens with their jesusbrick, they just accept it. Can you say brainwashed?

solOptimus

The 3G iPhone and 2.0 launch give me the exact same feeling as the Zune, Win95 and Win98 launch.. except for the complete lack of complaining from the users due to the "curse of the fanboy" making them spunk wildly in any direction when they see an "i" or apple logo..

DanLar75

Still have no problem with my Sony Ericsson, I wonder when they are set to release 2.0....

iPhone - It will make your day longer!

DanLar75

I aborted my mission after 2 1/2 in line since early this morning. I was somewhere around #200 in line, but because of the activation problems, it didn't look like I was going to be getting a phone until sometime in the afternoon. Especially since I calculated that it was taking between 10-20 minutes per customer with only 15-20 customers being helped at any given time.

eddiesdguy

I'm impressed some people weren't prepared for that.
And you call yourselves early adopters?

HA-HA (Nelson style)

Bokusatsu_Tenshi

@solOptimus:
Christmas came early this year, I love it. Apple is perfect …not!!!

wetworker

Don't worry people this is how it's going to feel when jobs is no longer at apple, ...Consider this training. :)

wetworker

Funny?!?!?! I bought my Sprint Instinct opening day. And it worked, still works and continues to work flawlessly the day I bought it....Hmmm.....Must be a At&T/Apple thing... I wouldn't know...

This is gonna look bad...oops...this does look bad for AT&T/Apple

CountryDevil

I'm a first Gen iPhone and my new 3G is still not activated... Old iPhone still works but my buddy who switched to AT&T already has his new iPhone activated!

Bought them at the same time ah!

Digital Freak

Apple cultist: No, no. This is the way Apple designed it, so this must be good. Just like it was good that the first one was locked form outside development, and then it became good to open it to 3rd party developers. Now it is a good thing that new iPhones cant be activated. When the time comes that activation is good, then Apple will activate iPhones.

- End scene -

Bloodboiler

Ah, this makes more sense.

Nighthawkz

I went through this last year, and I'm kind of relieved that I'm in Iraq and don't have to put up with it this year.

(Last year it took SEVEN DAYS for my iPhone to finally come to life)

Ginsu

Wtf is this about?

DJTripleRRR

Well, this shows that Steve Jobs is definitely a marketing genius. His formula:
Shutting off the servers + ppl talking about iPhones online + millions of dollars saved not making extra commercials = his kids' allowance this week.

kamsolusar

Very Funny! Thank God I was out the door by 8:30AM yesterday from my local ATT Store, as it took a while to get it registered via itunes. Was fully working out the door as a phone. Not as some found later in the day, only to find they had no phone service due to ATT killing off their old Sim Chip. I wonder what Mr Steve is going to do to make up for this very screed up launch. No, he won't give you 100.00 this time. I know, Free MobileMe for everyone!

KevinCamera