"Set up, double crossed and left for dead. He knows the score, he gets the women and he kills the bad guys. But they soon realize, they just fu**ed with the wrong eagle !"

johneaster

it took an engineer to design something already created by nature?

hopefully they meant it took an engineer to engineer the beak

discounteggroll

@Jrsy:
... all things considered it wouldn't be inappropriate especially if the bald eagle was standing on a barbed-wire "laurel" wreath.

ANoel

This is why "freedom costs a buck-o-five."

Singlespeed

The surgery happened over a month ago Giz. Did you run out iPhone stories?

LiquidGravity

Me want.

stryder100

apparently this is the closest we will ever get to a version of real life silverhawks in my life time (yes i am aware that she is an eagle but still). FTW!

PHILZY21

That will look great the next time they redesign monetary notes. I want to whip out a $50.00 that depicts an eagle with an olive branch in one claw and a huge iron beak ready to rip your heart out...

Jrsy

A bionic Bald Eagle. Only in America.

Gizmo

@Gann: Nice

Ftp1423

@Ftp1423: She's probably pissed because her medical insurance refused to cover this 'cosmetic' procedure.

Gann

awwww.

Simpsons-Movie-ruled

And Beauty stood off in the corner as the other eagles jealously gossiped about her beak job

TOWken22

@sansovino: Well, it's a she. All the rugs they tried made her look like 1963 Ringo Starr anyway.

Sora57

If only some charity would agree to fix my beak ...

GeekyNerdGuy

Why don't they sprinkle some pig fetus powder on that, see if it grows a new one.

trendspotter

I for one welcome our new bionic beaked flying overlords.

rawtoast

All that prosthetics and they didn't give him a rug? The dude is BALD. Sure he can eat now, but what about his self esteem?

sansovino

Modern tech medicine is awesome!

bms

pew pew pew

Ryanraven

Pretty soon it'll be firing lasers!

Ryanraven

@Ftp1423: Are you saying that there will be a robot ANd a animal Revolution?!? gawd!!! we can't handle all these revolutions (throws up the fist with an iPod in it!)

Ryanraven

Somewhere, a group of celebrating rabbits and chipmunks suddenly drops silent. This bird is pissed and BACK IN ACTION!

Sora57

"Give us your poor, your tired, your broken beaks ..."

Monty

OMG ITS ROBOBIRD! The Sci-Fi movies are coming to life! Everyone run!

Log1c

Gawd, I can't wait to get one of these and attach it to my __________ (insert your choice here)!!!!

jhcovert

this is totally subliminal messaging for americans! ...or not but umm yeah. poor bird

jimmyJAKE!

@agentUrge: but what about the right arm bears?

Are you proposing that we cut off bears' left arms? What kind of sick freak are you? Isn't it bad enough this eagle's beak was shot off?!

smcallah

Nice. Can someone train that bird to hunt down that poacher and gouge his eyes out?

Don't get my wrong. I believe in the right to bear arms, but what about the right arm bears? I think if we can train a bear to do tricks for a camera, we can surely teach it to fire an AR-15. Can't we just even the odds a bit?

//endRant

agentUrge

They should've kept it silver so it's like the guys nose from the movie "Cat Ballou".

TheCyberBob

That bird looks pissed off. I like the idea of rehabilitating injured anmials. Don't like the idea of equipping animals with tougher, stronger weapons that could be used against us.

Ftp1423

Can we get a few spikes on the next one.

chumleyex

@Ryanraven:

Don't forget the zombies!

Hyruu

@agentUrge: What they don't tell you is that the way they teach those bears to ride bicycles is to nail their feet to the pedals and beat the shit of 'em. They're not riding; they're running!

Yes, I stole that from Robert Schimmel.

SkyLab

@ANoel:

Yeah, they can ditch those arrows in the other claw and replace them with a missle too....

Jrsy

so a bald eagle, one of the symbols of the USA, gets better medical coverage than most of us do?

tiredman9

@bms: Yes, now they can use that technology to give beaks to everyone. And I think it's a tax right off to get a beak implant.

Rabid Penguin

@discounteggroll: I think engineer and design are pretty much in the same medium here. What is design in this case? Coming up with a way to fashion a prosthetic that does not weigh anymore than the original, which was quite light, designing how it would attach to the face without being too weak, so that the animal can eat as it would naturally and so forth.

Kaiser-Machead is in your Macbook Pro!

Say what you will, it's nice to see someone helping that poor bird.

MerlynNY

Oh, and minus the 'stache of course, unless she's from Jersey.

Jrsy

Oh wait, it's a female bird so I guess that'll have to be...

Tiffany Steelbeak.

Jrsy

@SmDFrylock:

Sure, we'll add a pornstar name and 'stache.

Rod Steelbeak!

Jrsy

Can we name it Steelbeak?

SmDFrylock

@tiredman9: No... I'm sure if you were in need of a bionic beak to save your life you would get one. The bird does not have medical insurance, but you do not need medical insurance either to receive care.

Rabid Penguin

I hope they start mounting lazer beams on deer next; give them a little more of a fighting chance.

mfaerber

@birdgirl39:

sadely i dont think they are actually planning on trying to find the guy that did this. Besides, arnt they legal to hunt again?

As my name implies, i am a midget ghoul. Its the old story of a traveling circus midget who one night visited a voodoo princess, who, after giving her the claps, was cursed to roam the earth until he figured out how they get the cream filling into twinkies.

Anyway, i have always felt that cyborgs have been something of a 2nd cousin to ghouls and zombies alike. and this totally pissed off bald eagle with its awsome looking beak and hopefully eventually other artificial yet totally rocking extremeties is no exception. Long live cyber bird, may it rein down justice on all hunter and smite them with her furious anger.

jrghoull

This story made me cry. The poor bird was starving to death because some shitheel hick thought it would be "fun" or something.
As my name implies, I love birds. Any asshole who thinks it's "cool" to shoot at ANY animal, ANY time they feel the urge, should be set upon by every bird of prey imaginable. I hope they catch the f**ker and beat the living shit out of him.

birdgirl39

@Gizmo: A genetically cloned dog... ahh only in... South Korea.

berribrand

@tiredman9: I'm sure if you lost your mouth, some organization would feel sorry for you and pay for a new one. That is, if you didn't sound like such an asshole already.

berribrand

@NAlia:
Yes. With differently-abled Birds of a Feather.

ANoel

@gadgetplay:
Stunned driver caught in the laser lights of a deer. Crashes.

ANoel

@Ftp1423: Bald eagles always look pissed off. It's the way their head is shaped, it gives them a little crease above the eyes. Their beak is curved downward, so they always look like they are frowning. Combine the two... and you have an angry face. >:(

Ghede

Cool. But can Beauty participate in the Eagle Olympics?

NAlia

@mfaerber: Lasers won't help them if they can't learn to stay off the road.

gadgetplay

Given soaring birds' amazing distance vision and ability to loiter for hours unnoticed, how long before we deliberately remove their beaks, replace them with laser designators, and train them to target insurgents for laser-guided munitions?

Laugh now, but in six months you'll see a proposal for Project Steelbeak on some general's desk in the new-weapons development wing of the pentagon.

bagumpity

@jrghoull: They are no longer listed as endangered, but I think they are still protected by law - Migratory Bird Treaty and Bald/Golden Eagle Protection Act. But don't quote me on that. I have no problem with people hunting in general though... but I don't like the taste of wild bird... to gamy for my taste.

Rabid Penguin

@ANoel: It's just crazy enough to work!

@NAlia: The Eagle Rights Commission is holding hearings right now to see if the prosthetic beak gives Beauty an unfair advantage.

gadgetplay