@Elcheecho: Did you know that common goldfish, like the one pictured, have no stomachs and have a very pass-on-by digestive system which generally contributes to a very ammonia-rich aquarium if not properly cared for? Fish suppliers only use a stress-relieving agent to keep the fish alive for a certain amount of time when they ship them out to pet shops, and their only source of oxygen is the trace amount in the water and the atmosphere in the "empty" part of the bag. The one and only reason the fish don't die of shock is because of that stress agent, and even then it doesn't work.

This is just a fish in a sealed bag, much like a puppy in an airtight jar. I hate this shit and I hope whoever buys one gets trapped in a bulletproof airtight bubble.

Kaiser-Machead's got LindsayJoy's cookies on the SuperDrive

(P.E.T.A) = People,Eating,Tasty,Animals. = )

DJJS

@carmen gets to see nutbastard in 7 days!: I gotta defend nutty here. He said for "gimmicky amusement" Eatin da aminals iz difrnt.

N@tedog

@N@tedog:

I have, however i did not know it to be wrong at the time, being a child without the cognizance to understand the sacred nature of the principles that demand, in my adult state, that I respect and treat as precious, all life.

I mean if one has stolen due to moral ignorance, and has since gained ethical insight, who would argue that they are hypocritical for advocating honesty?

nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition

I do actually think Witnessx was right, I think the intention is to bring it home and put it in a bowl or tank, just like the fish you get at the pet store. That material doesn't look like it's durable enough to be intended as a long-term item.

markarian

@nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition: @nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition: @DestroyerMTL: well from the young man trying to sell me one. Sounds like the 6 months I remember is wrong based on what you're telling me. I still think a pair of scissors would heal your bleeding hearts.

Elcheecho

@nutbastard: Surely you don't believe this simple act of capitalism requires some forms of...regulation?!?

92BuickLeSabre

@Elcheecho: Six months my ass...make that for humans and i'll drink it

@nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition: Nat...no animal should what? LOL you eat bacon and meat all the time, exactly how do you think they are killed? nice pills that make em go sleepy? NO

carmen gets to see nutbastard in 7 days!

@N@tedog: I never did, but not for lack of trying.

Rabid Penguin

@nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition: Dont tell me you've never burned ants with a magnifying glass.

N@tedog

@nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition: Amen - except maybe David Motari. I would love watching him suffer a little (or a lot)

Munch

I was at a redneck wedding once, and the centerpieces were goldfish in little bowls. The drunk cowboys ate them.

GeekyNerdGuy

@zombo: But not as surprising as you might think. As Pierre de Frédy, Baron de Coubertin once famously said:

"The goal of the Olympics is to encourage and support the promotion of ethics in sport and to dedicate its efforts to ensuring that, in sport, the spirit of fair play prevails and violence is banned, except against goldfish, because what the hell is the deal with those stupid fish? I swear, my kid keeps asking for one, and I just don't get it. They really have no reason to exist. And on that, if nothing else, I hope and pray, the entire world can agree."

92BuickLeSabre

@nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition: true dat

HawkSkater0

@Curves: ala Fly Guy in "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka"
Truly a classic movie.

Numerous

@tombest610:

all life is precious, no animal deserves to be put into a situation of potential suffering for the gimmicky amusement of people who do not respect life.

nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition

looks like a portable snack to me. the copy probably says "eat before fish go sideways"

SharkByte

@DigitalReaper: Oh wow... so it IS an Olympics character. That's even more fucked up.

zombo

I hear they got the goldfish from Tibet...

SigmundTheSeaMonster

@DMF: What? Name one!

92BuickLeSabre

Take it easy, guys. It's a goldfish.

tombest610

@DMF: as much as that is true... i can't imagine anyone letting a living thing die that way.

HawkSkater0

We should pull funding from the space program to fight this goldfish-in-a-keychain atrocity.

GeekyNerdGuy

@DigitalReaper: I knew i recognized the printed character.

[en.beijing2008.cn]

DigitalReaper

I would not put it past the Chinese. Anything, and I mean ANYTHING to make money.

MastaFalse

@witnessx: And ruin my goldfish keychain? What is you, nuts?!?

Chromeo

I could go either way, but I sure hope these are just temporary novelty homes until you can cut the bag and put Mr. Fish into his proper sized tank.

N@tedog

Wow.. there are much worse things going on in this world than a freking gold fish in sealed plastic.

DMF

@TheCyberBob: Although for perspective, PETA's list of grievances against the paper clip on my desk is pretty extensive as well.

92BuickLeSabre

@BloggyMcBlogBlog: Ya. Cuz China would TOTALLY let PETA set up an office in their country. Give me a break. lol

Seriously just Google the list of grievances PETA has fired at China. It's quite and impressive list overall.

Note: I could be wrong about them not having a China office. But even if there is one it's not exactly effective.

TheCyberBob

@netcretin: Don't sleep on flash-frozen! [query.nytimes.com]

Just pop one of these little bad-boys in some dry ice and you can eat it whenever you want and never now the difference. (And use it as a fun piece of party-ice in your favorite beer until you're ready!)

92BuickLeSabre

For all those times when I really wished I had a fish in my pocket ...

GeekyNerdGuy

is that water made in china too?

HawkSkater0

I hope they sell them as Olympic branded souvenirs.

DigitalReaper

Me and my buddy are raising Betas. We feed them slightly larger fish every day, to train them. In three weeks we'll fight 'em and see who's the best Beta trainer. Gotta Kill Them ALLLL, Pokemon!

(just a joke, no we didn't, though it was discussed at length)

MagnoliaBoy

what the hell is that flame head thing on the front... its freaking me out!

ws6kid

I don't know about you guys, but I would kill for extra fresh sushi.

netcretin

@MerlynNY: It's totally true, because goldfish are the same as people.

That's why I keep three children in a glass bowl in my apartment.

(With mixed success mind you. They can't get enough of the little scuba-diver guy, but I think the littlest one is kind of scared - it refuses to come out from behind the treasure chest in the little cave except for when I toss in the little food pellets.)

92BuickLeSabre

@witnessx: Actually the fish is being waterboarded. It's punishment for trying to have more than one kid and being a women.

Rabid Penguin

@witnessx:

what asian bashing?

nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition

@GeekyNerdGuy: So true, if it moves, it's fair game.

@Elcheecho: Are you retarded? How could you possibly think there is enough O2 in there for the fish? That bag would be full of shit in two days, assuming the fish didn't suffocate before then.

DestroyerMTL

PEOPLE! STOP THE ASIAN BASHING, AND LOOK AT THE PHOTO!
See those creases around the edges? Those appear when you use a soft, pliable plastic. If it were hard, sealed plastic, it would be smooth. Think about those heart-shaped mylar balloons.

So, the jump-to-conclusion is: OMG, DEAD FISHY IN 3 HOURS!
The reality is more like: Its a neat novelty thing to flash, then you go home, and use a scissor to cut it open and free the damn fish... into your hot wok, with sugar snap peas, and carrots (heh).

Sheesh. All we know about this is a photo, a short passage, and a conclusion of cruelty, and horror. If you thought that, you must also be one of those people that forwards chain letters, and waiting for Bill Gates to conclude their email tracking program so you can get paid.

PEACE!

witnessx

@zombo: Thanks!

highfloydelity

@rebelj12a: fish in a firework thats whats next.

HawkSkater0

At least it's a step up from their Chinese New Year firecracker fish.

Rabid Penguin

Wow, I think the genius over in China that came up with that great idea should have a plastic bag put over his head for a few HOURS and see how he/she likes it.

MerlynNY

all alone in a deep dark pocket....

what next... fish in a baseball bat? no, bad idea...

running hamster in a pc mod? hah that wouldnt be so bad...

rebelj12a

I have to pass, simply because that plastic fish chamber of death does not look all that strong and the last thing I need is my keychain exploding in my pocket and making me look like I just wet myself.

TOWken22

@highfloydelity: It says "I'm Mr. Heat Miser"

zombo

@Nintenboy01:

RTA, they aren't associated with the olympics, its just the same disregard for copyright we've come to expect from china.

nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition

Any idea what the bag says on the front?

highfloydelity

ISN"T THAT THE OLYMPIC MASCOT ON THERE? WHAT A HORRIFIC PROMOTIONAL TOOL!!!

Nintenboy01

That's horrible

DanyBrancho

@Elcheecho:

""The fish would survive just a few hours, and would be lucky to make it from the manufacturers to the point of sale. We are shocked and appalled. It is a gimmick and shows no respect for the animals at all."

where are you getting your FUD from?

nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition

"Time for another earthquake" /Sharon Stone

halfshafter

@GeekyNerdGuy: Thanks,

This is an outrage, i cant believe people would be so heartless.

I wonder if this has a 90 day warranty?

HawkSkater0

@Elcheecho:

if it's sealed, theres no way it's going to get the amount of oxygen it needs for more than a few hours, a day at most. 6 months worth of nutrients? if that were true, then why do normal people still have to feed their goldfish daily - wheres this miracle liquid nutrient solution coming from?

nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition

@nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition: That's like asking if it'd blend. The answer to both questions: Abso-damn-lutely.

alexmetal

@alexmetal: Kitten comment and the inherit hilarity from hakubak's comment aside*

alexmetal

@hakubak: Your broken engrish instructions are amusing.

Jimbuck

i wonder if Bear Grylls would eat it...

nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition

That's disgusting...what's next? Severed kitten-head cell phone charms?

Chromeo

@hakubak: lolz@ jump stomp for added fun times.

Kitten comment and the inherit hilarity from hakubak's comment, this is pretty messed up. The least they could do is put a ziploc top to it.

alexmetal

lol wow....seriously? Has everyone gone retarded? The bag's made of plastic, not diamond.

You're supposed to snip the bag after 6 months at the most, preferably earlier, and put them in a proper tank.

The water they're put in have nutrients enough for 6 months.

I will say, however, that fish poop might make the water cloudy at some point.

Elcheecho

@HawkSkater0: Oxygen

GeekyNerdGuy

mest up

Imagine the bizzaro world engrish instructions they'd pack with these:

"Enjoy swimming fishness happily all day. Do no for eating. When swimming is finish, dispose properly or jump stomp for added fun times!"

hakubak

its like the pepperidge farm goldfish of our society. you play with them for a little while, and then just stick em in your mouth and enjoy

discounteggroll

Can you exchange the key chain if the fishy dies?

iatacs19

You people are forgetting that over there, once the fish croaks, they just eat it.

GeekyNerdGuy

Thats just wrong, don't they realize that fish are living things too.

And just a thought, would the fish die of hunger or lack of oxygen in the water?

HawkSkater0

@Duffin: Ahhh, bonzai kitty. Now that was an awesome hoax.

GeekyNerdGuy

A few hours, eh? That's a few hours longer than my kitten keychain lasted.

alexmetal

Next month McDonalds will be giving them away with Filet-o-Fish Happy Meals.

zombo

Are we sure this is real? I'm sure everyone remembers the classic "Kitty in a Bottle" hoax. Granted, people don't care as much for goldfish as they do for kitties, but still...this is just cruel.

Duffin

Way back in platform shoe days, there were some highly coveted shoes that had a detachacble clear acrylic block heel where you could put water and a goldfish. The fashionistas wore them (and everyone else envied them). At least those shoes let you take goldie OUT at night, while these key-chain-bers of death apparently do not.

Curves

What the fuck? Thats jacked up.

colonel_angus

PETA starting a China office in 3..2..1

BloggyMcBlogBlog

Wonder if they'll have these with Olympic branding too?

kspray--dad

Oh but for those few hours, getting in and out of your house will be awesome!

92BuickLeSabre

WTF? Someone is going to hell.

zombo

What kind of person does something like that?

Munch

@92BuickLeSabre: Sure there is. Shoot a kitten for no reason what so ever just wastes a bullet... and kills a kitten for no reason whatsoever.

But if you light a deer on fire for food, not only will it produce cooked food, killing off any disease it may have, but it will also keep you warm while it's cooking. And last time I checked a box matches and some rope were cheaper than bullets and a gun.

Rabid Penguin

grr i knew i should have trained them in escaping plastic bags...

HawkSkater0

@nutbastard: The better question is whether there is a difference between shooting a kitten and setting a deer on fire for food.

92BuickLeSabre

@Rabid Penguin: what happened to them... i dont know last time i saw them they were about to storm china.... oh.... oh my.....

@92BuickLeSabre: nice one

HawkSkater0

@carmen gets to see nutbastard in 7 days!:

"Just because they are killed for something that is NOT a necessity (I was a vegetarian for almost 8 years) doesn't make it any worse than killing it for a "necessity""

So what you are saying is, there's no difference between setting kittens on fire for amusement, and shooting a deer for food?

nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition

@Zeasar: Salt N' Pepa agree.

@HawkSkater0: Say more. No need to be koi.

92BuickLeSabre

@HawkSkater0: What happened to them?

Rabid Penguin

@92BuickLeSabre: i once trained an army of immortal gold fish.

HawkSkater0

@GeekyNerdGuy: Six might be optimistic.

92BuickLeSabre

Looking at the way the fish is in the photo, and the volume of the keychain, this is so obviously a shoop.

Zeasar

@92BuickLeSabre: This being the first time I have ever agreed with PETA on anything, I am not sure what to do, but I seriously fucking hate your paper clip.

zenpoet

@Rabid Penguin: Not true! In every batch, one of them is immortal.

The trick is finding and training it!

It's like Highlander, and you get to be Sean Connery!

92BuickLeSabre

Ugh. This made me nauseous.

Sean Robertson

@nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition: Don't you believe clubbing an animal to death is considered abuse? I mean c'mon you think all animals who are killed for the meat you eat are killed properly? Just because they are killed for something that is NOT a necessity (I was a vegetarian for almost 8 years) doesn't make it any worse than killing it for a "necessity" :D My point is valid...Have we not been through this many a nights when I tell you I am always right?

carmen gets to see nutbastard in 7 days!

@JEmlay: I once won one of those goldfish at a fair. When I got home with it, the damn thing ended up being nearly a foot long after a year and a half later.

A very high percentage of them die because people think that they can take the same conditions that Bettas tolerate. They shit until the ammonia levels poisons them to death.

Kaiser-Machead's got LindsayJoy's cookies on the SuperDrive

@N@tedog:

Then perhaps one could say, the testing of moral boundaries being necessary, that the suffering of those ants was for a constructive purpose, as slaughtering cows for food is. However if one were to say that, they would have to qualify it by making the distinction between someone who is in a valid position to be testing those moral boundaries vs. someone who does it for economic gain or personal pleasure.

nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition

@JEmlay: Actually 100% of them die.

Rabid Penguin

I agree this is some sick shit. But Americans are no different. We give out tens of thousands of goldfish to "anyone" at fairs (and so forth). People that don't know a single thing about fish and a VERY HIGH percentage of all these fish die.

JEmlay

@nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition: Sorry man, I fail to believe you didn't think it was wrong even at a young age to burn the little critters. Even as a child we know it to not be right. It's a curious tendency in youth to explore the boundaries of morality. That's how we define our own boundaries.. by testing them whether externaly (social situations) or internally (why are you in the bathroom so long). Either way, I agree FREE GOLDIE!

N@tedog

@carmen gets to see nutbastard in 7 days!:

but honey, they are slaughtered of necessity - and very few things on this planet die painless deaths, so i dont think that's a valid yardstick. if they crushed them to death, it would be another story. it's about the rejection of unnecessary suffering. respect for life doesn't mean not ending it, it means not abusing it.

nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition

@nutbastard: Isn't that only true if you have no food choices? You've drawn a very subjective line, right?

Foie gras and veal are food, but very, very cruel.
I eat burgers not because I need them to survive but because I enjoy them.
Hunting is a valuable means of fun, even if you don't eat it.
People need relaxation; people need fun.
And what about leather? One uses it, but you don't have to use it. You do it because you enjoy leather.

In all of these situations we make the choices based on what we want not what we need.

Sure, hunting is not animal torture and maybe you don't eat veal. But...Pigs are tortured much worse than this goldfish in pork farming...can you really say that you need that pork instead of some other food in a way that makes it significantly different than the want for a goofy novelty fish in a bag over not having it.

92BuickLeSabre

@TOWken22:Not to mention they dead/maybe flopping fish that will be released into your pocket.

Is that a goldfish in you pocket or are you just excited to see me?

ab3

@Rabid Penguin: +10

@nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition:I believe wether it's intentions or not, a sin to cause suffering in anything. Just because it's intended for food doesn't mean the animal deserved to have it's legs broken while it was still alive and wait for it to die or something. There are plenty of ways to painlessly kill an animal...people are just sick period.

carmen gets to see nutbastard in 7 days!

@nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition: What if you think it's fun killing for food... chew on that for awhile.

Rabid Penguin

@carmen gets to see nutbastard in 7 days!:

but it's not intended to be abusive - a persons motivations are as important as their actions. for example if you stick someone up for their wallet, and kill them, and it turns out that person was a sicko child kidnapper, you've still committed a terrible sin because of WHY you killed him - for his wallet. It matters not that the world is a better place without him, sin is personal.

it's USE to kill for food, it's ABuse to kill for fun.

nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition

@zenpoet: I must have one!

Kaiser-Machead's got LindsayJoy's cookies on the SuperDrive

@carmen gets to see nutbastard in 7 days!: Clubbing is always bad, and we should stop it. [www.tshirthell.com]

And just because it is also funny: [store.theworstpageintheuniverse.com]

zenpoet

@Rabid Penguin: Would you grind them up like beef and sell them at quality food stores, so that you could squeeze them out of the balloons, labeled with Happy Birthday/Happy Anniversary/etc to make special sausage for special occasions?

Cause that might be a nice way to kill two birds with one stone...

...

...so to speak.

92BuickLeSabre

@birdgirl39: Or maybe we could grind up different birds and fill up heart shaped balloons with them. In America they can all be bald eagles with missing beaks.

I'M JOKING!

Rabid Penguin

i thought fish need air.

alycispi

@nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition:Basically, because it's both abuse the way they kill animals for food. DUR.

carmen gets to see nutbastard in 7 days!

This could be an interesting way to dispose of human fetuses. In China they would all be female.

Before any of you start to yell at me about this.....

I'M JOKING!

birdgirl39

...and how exactly is this supposed to be surprising, considering this is another flash of brilliance innovated by Mainland Chinese 'entrepreneurs'. You expect them, somehow, to actually respect goldfish, when they hardly respect each other? To the genius commenting how the buyer is 'supposed' to take it home and free it in a goldfish bowl -- and the average Mainland Chinese buyer of these is supposed to a) figure that out, and b) actually care enough? Judge a nation by how it treats its pets -- and there you have it!

LynnRubonius

@Gann:

right - look at how we kill animals and how animals kill animals - that we make a concerted effort to reduce their suffering is noble if not perfect. perfection is impossible to achieve, however the relentless pursuit of it is what makes one honorable.

nutbastard

@92BuickLeSabre:

replace 'fundamental' with 'significant'

nutbastard

@Carmen is scared of Nutbastards Banhammer Mania!:

meat is a necessity, as much of the world would starve if we would only eat plants - the logistics do not exist to properly distribute enough plant mass to feed everyone. furthermore there are compounds in meats that are simply unavailable in any other non synthetic form. plants lack the proper proteins required for healthy muscle growth.

theres a reason vegans look all sunk in and sickly after a few years - they truly are malnourished. that they can survive on it isn't a measure of anything other than the resilience of the human body. however what some of you seem to be getting at is that anything that is beyond what is strictly required to keep you alive is unnecessary, and therefor sinful, and you've got to admit not one of us has zero excess.

nutbastard

@Carmen is scared of Nutbastards Banhammer Mania!: "I believe wether it's intentions or not, a sin to cause suffering in anything."

Careful on that slippery slope. Do you drive a car? Do you know how many animals cars kill every year in a very painful/messy way? Have you ever walked through a grassy field? Eaten fruit grown with pesticides? It is impossible to live without causing suffering, and dying yourself will only cause suffering also (mainly nutbastard's). While your intentions are good, they are an impossible standard to keep.

Also, say what you will about how farms treat livestock while they are alive, but their death is usually very merciful and painless for a very self-serving reason. Pain and suffering release chemicals into the blood that do bad things to the meat. The cause of death is usually unanticipated, and over in a millisecond. Nature is rarely so kind.

Gann

I want to get like 4,000 of those and set them free.

Poor fishies. :(

Atsumi

@JEmlay: Actually I wasn't arguing that at all. My very first comment that you quoted was simply stating that all fish die... it doesn't matter who wins it at the fair.

My second statement which you just quoted has nothing to do with the quality of life you are giving the fish, but rather should the fish be in captivity at all.

Rabid Penguin

@JEmlay: If your fish are still alive and you don't have 20 of them in a tiny ass fish bowl, and you're not putting them in your mouth or up your ass, you're okay :) Sometines Rabid Penguin drinks too much and says funny things...like all the time, so wait Rabid..does this mean you are drunk all the time?!

Carmen is scared of Nutbastards Banhammer Mania!

@nutbastard: I don't disagree with anything you said except "fundamental" - as in "fundamental ethical difference." I think there is "probably some ethical difference."

The lines are just too subjective for me to judge what "is" sinful in this context. What is a "constructive purpose" and what is not (if the social order of a society depends on a coming of age ritual that involved burning kittens is that a less constructive purpose than the fact that I like bacon - and I dooo also love bacon)...as you said who is even to say what exactly suffers and what does not?

Given the uncertainty, I'm just not willing to be as certain about any of it as you are.

92BuickLeSabre

I just realized something that is very sad, the fish in the picture for this article, is probably dead, and probably died very painfully.

HawkSkater0

@nutbastard: MEAT IS NOT A NECESSITY HOW MANY TIMES CAN I SAY THIS? SO therefor it is a sin! You said it so yourself :)

Carmen is scared of Nutbastards Banhammer Mania!

@gizmodohomepage: Sometimes you have a lot of keys, and a keychain is a good way to keep them all together.

Rabid Penguin

@Rabid Penguin: Well, now you're arguing whether I'm providing decent life styles for my fish. Sorry, I thought a normal and rational conversation was going on.

JEmlay

wouldn't the constant bouncing around kill them?

HawkSkater0

I just don't see the point.

.

gizmodohomepage

I can imagine the guy who sells this saying, "ha-wo Keeds won-t sum of dees gowd fee-sh in a bawg, steep ento ma ric-a-show and i show u"
Translation: hello kids want some of these gold fish in a bag, steep into my rickshaw and i show you.

(sorry if i offend anyone)

HawkSkater0

@carmen gets to see nutbastard in 7 days!:
"[it is] a sin to cause suffering in anything"
suffering is inevitable - it is only unnecessary suffering that is sinful.

@92BuickLeSabre:

"Isn't that only true if you have no food choices?"

Perhaps, but how do you quantify suffering? Can you really say definitively that animals can suffer, and plants can not?

"can you really say that you need that pork instead of some other food"

it's important to my mental health. no bacon and no beef make nutbastard something something...

A lot of the problem stems from the fact that very few of us have ever killed an animal for food, that we are so completely distanced from the conditions of the animals we eat that we hardly consider it.

My final stance is that there is a fundamental ethical difference between suffering for a constructive purpose and suffering for a destructive purpose. It's irrelevant that meat is not NEEDED to survive, because the meat does serve a valid constructive purpose. No one NEEDS a car but that doesn't make the act of driving one immoral, despite the often fatal, UNintentional consequences of doing so. Run someone down on purpose, and all of a sudden driving that car at that moment was immoral.

nutbastard

@JEmlay: And your fish is never going to die? And what about owning one at all? Does it matter how you treat it? Don't fish deserve FREEEEEDDDOOOOM!!!!

Rabid Penguin

@Elcheecho: "Hey kid, wanna goldfish in a bag?"

92BuickLeSabre

@nutbastard: Didn't I tell you I am always right...and i ALWAYS win?

Carmen is scared of Nutbastards Banhammer Mania!

@Rabid Penguin: That's not true. I've won two of them. One a while back and one last year. I still have them both.

@Kaiser-Machead's got LindsayJoy's cookies on the SuperDrive: The reason why they die doesn't matter. That would be like saying American fish HAD the potential to remain alive whereas these Chinese fish have ZERO potential to remain alive. To that I ask:

Which is MORE important. The "intention" or the "end result"?

JEmlay

@Mondoz: how did this get from goldfish-in-a-bag to eating child molesters.

Elcheecho

@92BuickLeSabre: Well... Pork isn't very good for you, so you probably could stay away from pork. But I'm addicted to bacon and Shake'N Bake pork chops, so... never mind.

You don't need meat I suppose... but it is good for you, with the exception of bacon. mmmm bacon.

Rabid Penguin

@Mondoz: Only if he was organic, grass-fed, and free-range....well, maybe not the free-range so much.

92BuickLeSabre

@nutbastard 2.0 : banhammer edition:

So... if you intend to eat the child molester, it's okay?

Mondoz

@92BuickLeSabre: 10+ for you too
These points should be redeemed haha... MEAT IS NOT A NECESSITY BUT A WANT! :)

Carmen is scared of Nutbastards Banhammer Mania!

What kind of warranty do they give you with a purchase such as this?

Mondoz

In checking around, apparently, though not licensed merchandise, the little guy on it is one of the 5 characters for the Olympics. So it is branded merchandise. YIKES! I think we should do the same to the genius who came up with this. See how long he lasts in a sealed container...water optional.

lvixen

@nutbastard: Plants are completely different than animals Nut, don't do that, please! Something tells me scients have probably tried to figure that shit out and came to the conclusion they are wasting money and time, and decided to use common sense.
@JEmlay: I understand this, of course. I am saying though he considers it only abuse and wrong if you are in hand of something that is suffering, like an animal being beaten to death for the sake of food. It's just FACTS. I am going by facts because after all in order to have a sound theory you must have FACTS, that is science. He says it's not abuse b.c the animal is a necessity b.c it's used for food. But meat is not a necessity, it is a WANT. Something tells me if you don't eat a hot dog for 5 years you won't die...hell you'll probably be fitter for not eating the damn thing! ;)

Carmen is scared of Nutbastards Banhammer Mania!

@Carmen is scared of Nutbastards Banhammer Mania!:
While your comment is true in general, it's not very realistic. You are not accounting for many areas of our planet where animals out weigh fruits and vegetables.

Unless you think humans can live off the same plant and grass food that the animals do? Now you just killed off all the animals by eating their food supply!

JEmlay

@Carmen is scared of Nutbastards Banhammer Mania!:

"but the animal is still being hurt. The animal is still being abused."

suffering is NOT necessarily abuse.

furthermore, how can you be sure plants don't have the ability to suffer? the common argument is they do not possess a brain or nervous system, but one cannot definitively say that they are incapable of experiencing suffering.

nutbastard

@nutbastard: Or...

...perfection is impossible to achieve, however the acceptance of our own and others imperfections and our attempts to be good, simply, instead, is what one makes one honorable.

@JEmlay: Actually, if you read the comment thread, you will see that I was denying that exact point earlier and comparing fish to The Highlander. Which is just to say that semi-serial pointless arguing is the fatty meat on Gizmodo's short ribs.

92BuickLeSabre

@nutbastard: Not true most people who give up meat don't do it properly and end up looking that way. My thing is, you say it's not a sin or ethically wrong to kill an animal because it's a necessity, but the animal is still being hurt. The animal is still being abused. The animal still feels pain and still is alive while being slaughtered. Meat is only a necessity because there supposedly isn't enough fruits and vegetables and other non meat products to feed the entire world, but who is to say that can't be resolved by stopping the slaughtering of many animals and planting more non meat products? It is ONLY a necessity because it's there, technically meat is NOT SOMETHING YOU NEED in order to survive , food is. Food can be non-meat last time i checked.

Carmen is scared of Nutbastards Banhammer Mania!

@Rabid Penguin:
"My very first comment that you quoted was simply stating that all fish die"
See, that's just it:

- The story is about killing fish within hours.
- Then I state in America a high percentage of fish die the same way.
- You come along and say no, 100%......

Come on! Get over it. You knew what you were replying to and how you replied to it.

Saying 100% was pointless. I think everyone here already knows that all life forms on this planet die eventually.

"My second statement which you just quoted has nothing to do with the quality of life you are giving the fish, but rather should the fish be in captivity at all."
Oh brother! Quality of life has PLENTY to do with captivity.

Have fun with your pointless arguing.

JEmlay

Holy shit. I was in Beijing and I passed a man selling these. He had a few dozen of them. I think they cost about 5 yuan. (A little less than a dollar) The Olympic mascot on the bag is not official. Just like the 5 yuan Olympic hats an old lady tried to sell me on the street.

Dunno how they got such a good picture. I would be pretty scared to ask to take a picture.

I also saw a lady selling puppies out of a duffle bag in a tunnel. Got a shot of that. If you want to see it, ask and I'll post a link.

Mammoth

@Elcheecho: If you sincerely believe a fish would survive in that environment for six months, you're hardly in a position to ask if others here have "gone retarded".

MadameX

And notice the Olympics mascot right there.
Somehow, seems very fitting.
Oh, the irony.

Bokusatsu_Tenshi

@Gann: Oh please, it's not suffering to put a child into time out b.c he ate crap off the floor or said something bad. You don't KILL your child for it. Suffering is completely different than punishment.
There is a fine line between what you are saying, most cows are NOT attacking us so we are basically killing a defenseless animal. Please, can we not talk about rape. Thank you.

Carmen is scared of Nutbastards Banhammer Mania!

@JEmlay:
"See, that's just it:
- The story is about killing fish within hours.
- Then I state in America a high percentage of fish die the same way.
- You come along and say no, 100%......
Come on! Get over it. You knew what you were replying to and how you replied to it.
Saying 100% was pointless. I think everyone here already knows that all life forms on this planet die eventually."

The thing is, although what I said was true, I was saying it as a joke... "Come on! Get over it." I'm cool, you should probably chill a little too :c)

@92BuickLeSabre: C'mon... you were playing along... you knew what I was doing :c)

"Oh brother! Quality of life has PLENTY to do with captivity.
Have fun with your pointless arguing."

So you wouldn't mind me having you as a slave and holding you against your will if I were nice to you?

Rabid Penguin

@Carmen is scared of Nutbastards Banhammer Mania!:
Honestly, I'm not about to read the entire comments section. I just replied to that one piece of text :)

I live by simple rules that are built upon respect.

1. If you point a weapon at it, you better plan on killing it.

2. If you kill it you better plan on eating it or your life better be in danger.

Is a key change a weapon? In this case, I believe it is!

JEmlay

@Carmen is scared of Nutbastards Banhammer Mania!: Not to beat a dead horse (heh) but there are also times when causing suffering can be considered truly good. Training a child is a good example. Whether it is physical or emotional, some form of punishment will eventually be required to keep the child from hurting him/herself. The same could be said for self-defense/defense of others. Would you let yourself be raped if the only alternative was to inflict suffering? No, you'd mace/taze the hell out of the perp, same as if you were the last line of defense between them and the child.

@92BuickLeSabre: You've hit the nail on the head. Arguing whether or not something should be done is subjective by nature and will always elude answers phrased as absolutes.

Gann

Wow, I can't wait till they make a dog keychain.

Koonbosorg

How about those recycled condom hair bands

Trevorblanco

@nutbastard: You respect all life? So you wouldn't take antibiotics for bacterial infections? Wash your hands with anti-bacterial soap? Clean with bleach and Lysol? What if you were somehow infested with lice?

smcallah

Goldfish in a sealed keychain!?!?!? What a load of carp!!

applesaucy

I for one thought the second page of comments that are now missing at 9:27 PM were fun and enlightening.

So I'm going to take a moment to reflect on them in order to acknowledge their impact on my life.

Okay, reflection over.

92BuickLeSabre

This reminds me of the time I got an Anole Lizard at the pet store when I was little and the clerk put it in a plastic bag filled with air. My mom made me leave it in the car when we went to the grocery store. It was deader than a door nail when we got back to the car. I cried and cried while we took it back to the pet store where the clerk apologized while he looked at it and tossed it into the garbage right in front of me. (Seriously, who was that guy?) It was traumatizing. Lizard number 2 (Larry) lived for about 3 years after that, I took the best care of him I could. DAMN THESE FISH MURDERERS!!!

jiveabillion

Leave it to the chinamen to piss of the animal activists...so whats next outta the far east? baby fetus earrings? pigs in a blanket? no really...pigs in a blanket...meh...hate to throw a set of keys with this on the ring into my pocket only to have it pop and find a dead fish in with my phone...or a live one...i guess...ahhh gnite

doobiebros22

@Duffin:

exactly what i was thinking

shorty6049

Probably just a bad-taste joke.

He/she has probably just re-used some plastic bag coming from the officially branded merchandise. I´m in the merchandise chinese production myself as a designer, and they seriously don´t do that kind of stuff so this is someones private joke I´m sure.

You can relatively easily make a similar "keychain" yourself simply by cutting out the plastic into a heart shape like that if you will, you can also heat up a cookie-form and press it down on the plastic - voila - instant shaped plastic bag right there, heat-sealed and all.

JoOngle

I'd like to see the frat boys swallow a couple of these...

Used to work at a fish store and every once in a while a couple guys from my school would come in and buy a hundred or so feeder goldfish. I feel bad for any fish that has to slide down a beer bong into an acidic stomachy hell.

On another note, betta fish are actually shipped very similar to this. As long as their gills are wet they can breathe atmospheric oxygen (from the air), yet they often still die in the bags. Goldfish don't even have this same luxury.

lunulatus

@Carmen is scared of Nutbastards Banhammer Mania!: So why after 8 years does one suddenly stop being a vegetarian and fall back into the habit of meat? Then parade it as an accomplishment? [perhaps your not but it cements my point...here] Because the last I heard, humans eat meat. In fact we need the nutrients to live healthy lives. Besides God said to eat 'em and umm he's pretty reliable for facts, all things considered, ey....oh well, my heartless appetite is off to eat a puppy i guess...

doobiebros22

@GeekyNerdGuy: Ahhh, you said it first pal.. I didn't even see you quote those kitties first.

hm.

Pyao lyang shen

this isnt one of those bonsai kitty scams now is it?

Pyao lyang shen

what the fuck.

I prefer plastic purplies inside.

Pyao lyang shen

who cares its a fucking goldfish?

I love how people get so fired up about this stupid shit.

there are alot worse things happening to people in the world every day report on that

Rizzuh

Well, um... Fish are just decoration, but they actually require SOME ...you know, food, oxygenized water, and such...

But I'm not as horrified as you guys think I should be.

IrisMR

what happened to all the comments? I only see 1-100

Gann

you guys really think this is true? C'mon!! In china they don't throw female babies in the garbage to die , neither they eat dogs, cats and alike.They don't spit in the streets and don't bootleg everything ! Do you really think they are capable of doing such horrific thing?

Ariel_Wollinger

@DJJS:
PETA sucks ass!!!

Ariel_Wollinger

cant you just upon purchase cut it open and put the fish in a proper tank?

alin0steglinski

All this discussion, and no one, not ONE PERSON, mentions Disco Stu.

rubicon_65

@Gann: I'm pretty sure some comments were deleted. I know I've responded to JEmlay, but it's no longer there... and I didn't even use profanity or anything.

Rabid Penguin

Buy, Die, Cry, Snip, FLUSH! "Mommy can I get another fishy?"
Great Marketing!

Dr.Remulak

I think the bigger question is, who in China can afford something like this? I live in America and if I was wasting my money on goldfish key chains I'd never have enough money to eat.

Channing