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Emperor Workstation Belongs in the Death Star, My Office
Posted by Gizmodo US Edition at 8:15 PM on June 12, 2008
Behold the Greatest Workstation of All Time: the Emperor. I mean, come on, anything that looks like it can control a turbolaser battery or fire a giant anti-matter death ray must be the greatest workstation of all time, period. But according to Patrick Laflamme Duval—business developer for manufacturer Novelquest—the name is not a Star Wars nod, but a reference to the emperor scorpion's tail:
At the press of a button, the Emperor's tail section (the large articulated arm that holds the monitors) rises to allow the user to be seated, then lowers back into position the three monitors at the perfect height and angle for perfect viewing comfort.
The Emperor has three large monitors for a panoramic view, THX Dolby surround sound, air filtering, light therapy (so you can get a tan without having to go out under the sun,) webcam, battery backup, and other niceties. It can be built to order with a desktop Mac or PC, as well as the biggest docking station ever for laptops. If you want one, you will have to go rob a bank—price is not listed yet, but we can imagine lots of zeros in it—and wait for the release date: July 2008. [Novelquest]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
tsengan
Posted June 13, 2008 9:03 AM
Holy crap. That's going to be in my dreams tonight.
Joseph
Posted 8:58 PM 12/6/08
ZOOOMG! I need one of these, but can it play Crysis on Full?
Joseph
Barion
Posted 9:09 PM 12/6/08
Do want. Can't afford.
Barion
Hvedhrungr
Posted 9:06 PM 12/6/08
One of the most important questions for the nerd: Does it flush?
Hvedhrungr
jw
Posted 9:05 PM 12/6/08
Still, better than flying.
jw
DavidFromCanada
Posted 9:02 PM 12/6/08
This is worthy of the brotherhood of nod and kane himself!
DavidFromCanada
PeterPotamus
Posted 9:58 PM 12/6/08
Air filtering - hah. How effective would it be with that much open space?
Also, is that a camera just above the middle monitor, or just a smudge?
PeterPotamus
strider_mt2k
Posted 9:54 PM 12/6/08
Reminds me of "Alien".
Remember the huge dead creature in the chair?
Not saying it's a bad thing, I'd just install some rear view mirrors or something.
strider_mt2k
Darascon
Posted 9:47 PM 12/6/08
Where's the cupholders?
Darascon
Rexter
Posted 9:44 PM 12/6/08
Holy fucking shit! This is like the best damn workspace ever! No seriously give this guy a medal!
It's worthy both Darth Vader and Kane himself.
Please god! Let me win the lottery, just enough so i can buy this, and a uniform like Kane's. I will be happy forever. Unless they make an enhanced model in a few years.
Rexter
CaptainSquishy
Posted 9:42 PM 12/6/08
Who's coming with me to rob a bank?!
CaptainSquishy
Kaiser-Machead's got LindsayJoy's cookies on the SuperDrive
Posted 9:31 PM 12/6/08
"ATTENTION, Number 7, report to my office sphere immediately"
Kaiser-Machead's got LindsayJoy's cookies on the SuperDrive
fresh1
Posted 9:26 PM 12/6/08
wasnt this in Grandma's Boy? You Didnt Knock Kane.
fresh1
thrhymes
Posted 10:20 PM 12/6/08
at [www.novelquest.com] you can see a flash-presentation.
but where do we put our keyboard and mouse?
thrhymes
thesum
Posted 10:09 PM 12/6/08
For ultimate pwnage in WoW...
thesum
soliong
Posted 10:44 PM 12/6/08
@thrhymes:
Voice control obviously ;p
soliong
Stang70Fastback
Posted 10:33 PM 12/6/08
All it needs now is a motion sensor, so that when someone walks in front of it, the "tail" comes up and it makes the pew pew sound that those destroyers make in the movie.. you know - to scare the crap out of those kids on bring your child to work day.
Stang70Fastback
Vindicoth
Posted 11:20 PM 12/6/08
Reminds me of the IT from South Park made by Mr. Garrison.
[images.tvrage.net]
Vindicoth
rebelj12a
Posted 11:12 PM 12/6/08
if that doesnt say evil genius i dont know what does...
rebelj12a
Y2KGTP
Posted 11:08 PM 12/6/08
I like the concept it looks like a huge scorpion in your office....
Y2KGTP
ビッグ ボス
Posted 11:04 PM 12/6/08
Want. Really, really bad.
ビッグ ボス
Y2KGTP
Posted 11:00 PM 12/6/08
Only 19" displays.....why not bigger?
Y2KGTP
El_Diablo0517
Posted 11:59 PM 12/6/08
Must. Have.
El_Diablo0517
Sh3rpa
Posted 11:56 PM 12/6/08
"kane, your in my seat"
Sh3rpa
valis
Posted 11:53 PM 12/6/08
I tell you, this is a Harkonnen rig!! I can imagine Baron Vladimir Harkonnen playing Dune 2000 from here while eating a Nocilla's sandwich.
Giger would be proud of this!!
valis
xXCapto-ExsequorXx
Posted 11:50 PM 12/6/08
@CaptainSquishy: I'm in... But will we have enough for 3 after we rob the bank? Cause I'm not sharin' mine.
xXCapto-ExsequorXx
king-ILL
Posted 11:43 PM 12/6/08
god damn! thats one sweet workstation
king-ILL
Denver_80203
Posted 11:41 PM 12/6/08
Needs Wheels and a motor so I can roll around the room like that guy in team america... fuck yeah!
Denver_80203
Denver_80203
Posted 11:40 PM 12/6/08
@PeterPotamus: "Air filtering - hah. How effective would it be with that much open space?"
it's got an intake fan under yer ass.
Denver_80203
frigg
Posted 11:38 PM 12/6/08
Does it come with the huge deserted loft, or is that extra?
frigg
thefonz101
Posted 11:34 PM 12/6/08
WANT
thefonz101
thefonz101
Posted 11:34 PM 12/6/08
@CaptainSquishy: I'll come!
thefonz101
ctthoqqua
Posted 12:20 AM 13/6/08
Whosoever buys this would be required to wear a cape and headgear while using it. It's in the contract. The purity of the awesome would be spoiled by track shorts and a Radiohead t-shirt.
ctthoqqua
ANoel
Posted 1:08 AM 13/6/08
@hanswurst0815:
"But can you masturbate comfortably in it?"
It does that for you the moment you slide into it... it's a (Badda Bum Tish) YANKO !
ANoel
hanswurst0815
Posted 12:35 AM 13/6/08
But can you masturbate comfortably in it?
hanswurst0815
FrankenPC
Posted 1:36 AM 13/6/08
Or this could be the Preditards rad-entertainment system where he (she?) waits for the call to go nuke some screwed up small town in America.
FrankenPC
Ambigous Blob
Posted 1:24 AM 13/6/08
LOL, best title ever!
Ambigous Blob
ChromiumSwitch
Posted 2:21 AM 13/6/08
Where's the juice-box holder?
ChromiumSwitch
DisposableInterloper
Posted 2:04 AM 13/6/08
This isn't the first ill-designed, over-engineered, un-ergonomic piece of crap by a long shot. Something tells me it won't be the last either for as long as Homo sapiens exists and builds workplaces.
If you've got the money to burn on this (and yes, it will be expensive, I can bet you that much), you'd be way better off spending it on a Herman Miller Aeron chair and a tricked-out Biomorph Maxo desk.
DisposableInterloper
uberfu
Posted 1:59 AM 13/6/08
and myself!
uberfu
uberfu
Posted 1:58 AM 13/6/08
don't give a damn about the scorpion reference - still could see vader chillin' in this thing!
uberfu
LoxXxuS
Posted 2:39 AM 13/6/08
WAIT! Add a battery of USB Missle Launchers and motorrize this baby.... Seek and Destroy throughout the office... Dam this is HOT! BUT make it completely mobile... imgagine people would crap their pants to see this thing rolling around...
LoxXxuS
Lazarus511
Posted 2:37 AM 13/6/08
Me want
Lazarus511
Amiash
Posted 2:34 AM 13/6/08
Im Blinded by its Awesomeness!!!
Amiash
adamator
Posted 2:29 AM 13/6/08
An array of these would make the most badass office cubicle replacements.
adamator
lecti
Posted 2:26 AM 13/6/08
I have to have one to do this:
+ Watch video
lecti
LoudWaters
Posted 11:50 PM 12/6/08
Add an intravenous coffee machine and a system that will allow you to get rid of those 12 cups without leaving the workstation and you have a buyer.
For Sale: King size mattress with headboard. No longer need as I am moving to my workstation.
LoudWaters
ElectronicVibe
Posted 3:13 AM 13/6/08
This angers me, just a few months ago, I was designing something similar to build in the future.
ElectronicVibe
Fierock
Posted 3:46 AM 13/6/08
@lecti: thanks for the clip - so simple yet so damn hilarious
Fierock
broho
Posted 3:45 AM 13/6/08
Can it run Leopard? Otherwise ... useless.
lol ... just kidding, this thing is useless regardless of the OS. Unless it can fly ...
broho
Toshie
Posted 4:38 AM 13/6/08
@adamator: And it would go a long way to preventing cubicle rage (viral hoax or otherwise).
Toshie
StarControl
Posted 4:18 AM 13/6/08
Someone call me when these things cost $250 a piece :)
Alright fine I'll buy one at $500 but not a penny more :P
StarControl
geel
Posted 7:30 AM 13/6/08
I think a hands on review is called for this ..and this [www.mypce.com]
geel
se.blackheart
Posted 7:27 AM 13/6/08
[www.youtube.com]
se.blackheart
jmprado
Posted 7:19 AM 13/6/08
A neat seat to play Supreme Commander....
:P
jmprado
geel
Posted 7:55 AM 13/6/08
Half of these things appear to be vaporware..
geel
geel
Posted 7:54 AM 13/6/08
oh and [www.poetictech.com]
geel
mattbrown
Posted 9:51 AM 13/6/08
I wonder how many traders will be interested in this.
mattbrown
shenanigans
Posted 10:52 AM 13/6/08
give me 3 24" screens and a liquid cooled 8 core setup, along with a fridge, then we'll talk.
shenanigans
bcrahn
Posted 8:00 AM 13/6/08
it needs wheels. and cupholders.
bcrahn
Chuang543
Posted 5:05 AM 13/6/08
reminds me of Grandma's Boy
"adios terd nuggets"
Chuang543
dehakal
Posted 2:11 AM 13/6/08
Its more mechanical and inclined to failure than my fav.
[www.poetictech.com]
Duane
dehakal
Entaum
Posted 11:56 PM 12/6/08
Imagine if the Emperor actually had a tan!! Lol
Entaum
moe1up
Posted 11:15 PM 12/6/08
Finally something to go on top of my gigantic swivel platform. Muhahaha~!
moe1up
da_bomb_is
Posted 9:28 PM 12/6/08
i was just about to say something about seeing this in grandma's boy.. how much would this cost in the matrix?
da_bomb_is
AndrewJayPollack
Posted 12:10 PM 13/6/08
What? No fridge, catheter, and fleshlight built in?
AndrewJayPollack
Brian Sexton
Posted 1:33 PM 13/6/08
That looks like a nice rig, but it seems like an especially stupid thing to patent.
Brian Sexton
skierpage
Posted 9:12 PM 13/6/08
@strider_mt2k:
Me too, though the Space Jockey's chair didn't curl over:
@DisposableInterloper: Don't be so negative. Over the years I've bought an Aeron and a Biomorph desk and even the amazing Herman Miller Levity desk, and this is an intriguing alternative. If done right it could be great. One year at Comdex the Sony booth had reclining surfaces facing monitors recessed into a wall, and they were supremely comfortable.
skierpage
nomax
Posted 10:53 PM 13/6/08
Finally, a workstation that's worth more than the building it's in.
nomax
GnomenKlayture
Posted 1:20 AM 14/6/08
Here's the prototype: [www.the-rum-diary.com]
GnomenKlayture
centerpeace
Posted 2:12 AM 14/6/08
This is a very similar design to Gravitonus Workstation made by a Russian company. It costs $7k FOB and I think is available for pre-order.
centerpeace
gstar
Posted 7:17 AM 14/6/08
With this I will become the new Emperor! And of course it won't have wheels or even legs. It will levitate as I take over the galaxy!!! Of course I'd have to upgrade the monitors first.
gstar