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Zune Owner Uses Craigslist for Love Connection
Posted by Mark Wilson at 7:40 AM on May 8, 2008
One lonely Zune owner in West Hollywood is searching Craigslist high and low for one of his own—a simple lady to "rocket sweet tracks up each other's Zune slots." Isn't looking for a Zune-using soulmate the technological equivalent of being the last unicorn, fervently searching Earth for a companion, but ultimately settling on a one night stand with a horse* on its way to the glue factory? We mean, what was meant to be a one night stand. Before her kids moved in. Of course, if this is a viral ad, it's far less funny. And it probably is.
*Admittedly, we have to place in our Zune-unicorn metaphor for the role of the horse. So you can just assume the Zune owner resorts to herpes-covered prostitute who uses a Rio or something. [Valleywag]

Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
ChrisH027
Posted 8:17 AM 8/5/08
@BayTraveler: I'm sick of everyone hacking on the Zune! I'm not an Ipod hater/Zune lover, but indifferent to them, they are both pretty cool. Just because you own a Ipod like everyone else in the world, that makes Zunes "stupid" for lack of a better word?
I own a Porsche, so should you not be allowed to reproduce? (if you drive a lesser vehicle)
From now on, on the street, if someone talks down on a Zune, I'm round-housing them in the face.
::rant over::
ChrisH027
xaflatoonx
Posted 8:16 AM 8/5/08
i wouldnt be surprised if one of the Giz people actually posted that to make another post on how zune sucks and apple rocks.
xaflatoonx
frigg
Posted 8:11 AM 8/5/08
Funny that even the Zunetard is too embarrassed to write "squirt."
frigg
blitzcat
Posted 8:10 AM 8/5/08
I suspect this is a viral plant to promote the new software release. Boo.
blitzcat
MrBlahBlah
Posted 8:07 AM 8/5/08
...at least the zune has video support. hello porn.
MrBlahBlah
EBone
Posted 8:05 AM 8/5/08
@nutbastard: It was free condom day at the clinic...
Thanks, I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
EBone
Gann
Posted 8:04 AM 8/5/08
@nutbastard: They were in line waiting to buy Rios
Gann
ludwigk
Posted 8:02 AM 8/5/08
"Rocket tracks" to each other? Surely he means squirt, right? He'd like to "squirt" some "tracks" all over her ... meh, it's too easy.
ludwigk
LagunaSol
Posted 8:02 AM 8/5/08
"Zune is the loneliest number that you'll ever do..."
LagunaSol
nutbastard
Posted 7:55 AM 8/5/08
@EBone:
"I don't know which made me feel dirtier - the Craigslist posting or the herpes-covered prostitute line."
There was a whole line of 'em? What were they waiting for? I don't have time to read the article.
nutbastard
OtioseScandal
Posted 7:55 AM 8/5/08
Interestingly there's no mention of what kind of music should be on the Zune...
Doesn't he know that beauty is truly... music-machine skin deep.
OtioseScandal
BayTraveler
Posted 7:53 AM 8/5/08
I don't think zune owners should be allowed to reproduce. The gene pool is shallow enough.
BayTraveler
GeekyNerdGuy
Posted 7:52 AM 8/5/08
@EBone: By "dirtier," I'm assuming you mean "natural?"
GeekyNerdGuy
klaybc
Posted 7:52 AM 8/5/08
The mixed metaphors in this post really put me in between a rock and a place in the sun.
klaybc
EBone
Posted 7:48 AM 8/5/08
I don't know which made me feel dirtier - the Craigslist posting or the herpes-covered prostitute line.
EBone
fastm3driver
Posted 7:47 AM 8/5/08
Ha, cudo's for wanting to be different. Wait, isn't that what a apple product make you?
fastm3driver
ChrisH027
Posted 7:46 AM 8/5/08
...Eh?
ChrisH027
ChrisH027
Posted 8:32 AM 8/5/08
@nutbastard: To tell you the truth, I haven't heard of Rockbox...what is this sorcery you speak of?
ChrisH027
Sleeper_Service
Posted 8:32 AM 8/5/08
The Sansa e200 series is bloody good. I'm buying an e280.
Sleeper_Service
LagunaSol
Posted 8:31 AM 8/5/08
@ heretik:
Hmm, I own several iPods yet I've never had the iPod confusion issue of which you speak.
Then again, I don't tend to toss my iPod into a pile of friends' iPods, which apparently is something you would do.
LagunaSol
nutbastard
Posted 8:29 AM 8/5/08
@ChrisH027:
an e200? if it is, tell me you're running rockbox on it. best. firmware. ever.
nutbastard
nutbastard
Posted 8:28 AM 8/5/08
@xaflatoonx:
...except that if you'll consider history, as in, previous Giz posts, you'll find that the Giz staff actually likes the Zune, and it's only the commenters that rag on it... The only jest i rememebr Giz staff giving the Zune was for calling song swapping "squirting" - and come ON, that's a completely valid thing to cap on.
Furthermore, they had Zunes available for loan at the Gizmodo Snowboard Meetup.
nutbastard
heretik
Posted 8:27 AM 8/5/08
It's not so bad being a zune user. It's easy to become one with shit-brown zune 30 easily found at $99. We can get accessories for 25% of MSRP when neat sales come around. We dont get our mp3 players mixed up with other peoples. (i.e. - "Shit dude, I forgot which iPod was mine, there must be like 30 in this huge pile because everyone and their mother fucking has one.)
heretik
ChrisH027
Posted 8:27 AM 8/5/08
@nutbastard: I have a Sansa as well, I do enjoy it!
ChrisH027
fastm3driver
Posted 8:27 AM 8/5/08
@ChrisH027: The backlash starts now.
I'm in your camp, I'm sick of people not taking things for what they are instead of pushing around some fud generated agenda.
It was like the hd-dvd/blu-ray crap. People comment on how one is better with out even using both.
fastm3driver
nutbastard
Posted 8:24 AM 8/5/08
@ChrisH027:
"Just because you own a Ipod like everyone else in the world, that makes Zunes "stupid" for lack of a better word?"
As someone who owns a Sansa, who has used a Zune, I too think the Zune is pretty lame, given the price. It's not just iPod owners. Although for the record, the iPod is overpriced as well.
nutbastard
ChrisH027
Posted 8:47 AM 8/5/08
@nutbastard: Yeah I did some research on it, very nice! Thank you.
ChrisH027
nutbastard
Posted 8:43 AM 8/5/08
@ChrisH027:
[www.rockbox.org]
Wholly customizable, alternate UI for portable devices. Search Lifehacker for it, i think they have some posts relating to it.
@Sleeper_Service:
if you can, get an e280 with a broken display or something and a refurb e250 and swap the memory over -it's easy as pie. the anythingbutipod forums have instructions for doing it, plus you can use the broken one as a battery charger... and you end up saving money and you get an extra battery out of it.
nutbastard
selcouth14
Posted 10:57 AM 8/5/08
I have the strong urge to ask 'What's a Zune?' hoping the sarcasm is apparent.
If this isn't a joke or viral, then it's rather sad. If he was really looking for a woman with a Zune he should just wander around with his wifi on in the hopes he has a chance to squirt someone...at least he'd probably have better luck when it comes to quality choices.
selcouth14
brofax
Posted 11:12 AM 8/5/08
This was written by professional nice guy Jordan Morris, to his pal and fellow Zune owner Jesse Thorn, America's Radio Sweetheart: [twitter.com]
brofax
yardameus
Posted 3:24 PM 8/5/08
I'm still trying to get over the blatant Rio bashing. Come on, the grandfather of all mp3 players? Haters...
yardameus
berribrand
Posted 4:15 PM 8/5/08
Uhm, this person might have more luck seeking a member of the SAME sex. This is West Hollywood after all. Or as we like to call it, WeHo.
Incidently, I'll be partying there this Saturday for my birthday at the Abbey... private room and all :)
berribrand
Sleeper_Service
Posted 8:28 PM 8/5/08
@nutbastard:
Could do but since SanDisk released the View the e200 series' prices have been dropping faster than Paris Hilton's underwear so it's only about £70 for the e280 now.
Sleeper_Service
bms
Posted 9:51 PM 8/5/08
Yeah, all 5 Zune owners.
bms
anticonnor
Posted 8:42 AM 8/5/08
I'm a proud Zune user myself, and I get a kick out of walking around with my Wi-Fi on and seeing the occasional fellow Zune user look around with curious fear... you see, I named my Zune "My Black Cock"... It's always magical when our eyes lock and I ask if they'd like a squirt from My Black Cock.
anticonnor
secretmanofagent
Posted 1:33 AM 9/5/08
Can we call it a Zuneicorn?
secretmanofagent
nutbastard
Posted 4:03 AM 9/5/08
@Sleeper_Service:
"the e200 series' prices have been dropping faster than Paris Hilton's underwear so it's only about £70 for the e280 now"
damn they really rape you guys. about $80 here. yeesh.
nutbastard
J.T.
Posted 6:54 AM 9/5/08
Hey, don't dis the Rio, man. That was seriously the best MP3 player I've ever owned. You could create and save playlists on the fly, for Chrissakes, or it could auto-generate playlists for you based on any number of criteria! What on EARTH is preventing Microsoft and Apple from implementing simple features like those?
J.T.
Sleeper_Service
Posted 7:58 PM 9/5/08
@nutbastard:
Indeed. We're used to the amusing European mark up that countries outside the EU like to apply to us.
We like to think it's some kind of economic revenge for centuries of colonial oppression.
Sleeper_Service