I won't have the time to deal with photoshop and stuff.. but here's a suggestion:
1. Pick a Kill Bill poster
2. Insert MacBook Air
3. Shop words adding "Gates"
4. ???
5. PROFIT!!

Bokusatsu_Tenshi

The sharp edge is one of the reasons why I got rid of Macbook, I write a lot everyday and it was just horribly uncomfortable. I didn't cut myself, but I did get some painful bruises after 8hrs long writing marathon.
Now I have Thinkpad and it's a world of difference (not just the edge, but also much much better keyboard). I wonder...first the edge, then the "people don't read anymore".. maybe Jobs has some sort of vendetta against writers? :D

AdrianWerner

re: the headline

Sure woudn't be good if ppl went around *unofficially* "kill[ing] a man".

izzaboo

Congratulations, giz, you've uncovered the way to have thousands of Apple fanboys simultaneously kill themselves.

@knottydon: Try your wrists.

shiftyeyedgoat

it's not razor sharp. I tested it and it's not cutting my fingers. it's smooth!

knottydon

@dingus:

+ Watch video

Git Em SteveDave

@ps61318:

Jean Reno: "Zis........is for Mateelda" *shoves iPhone up Gary Oldman's nose*

Gary Oldman: "Oh shi....BOOOOOOOOM!

Kaiser-Machead

Common people, this isn't even bloody blogworthy... go dissect the source code of paint, or somethin'...

Cookiefox

@Kaiser-Machead: Exactly the point. My grandmother could bludgeon someone to death with an Aurora m17x. And she's been dead for 10 years, she should rest in peace.

I wanna see Javier Bardem or Jean Reno in some movie using a MBA or even an iPhone (the original slim one, not the new chunkier one) to dispatch someone. Yeah.

Now yer talkin' product placement.

ps61318

I'unno, I love my mac.

MastaFalse

Soon you won't be able to take them on aeroplanes for fear of terrorists using them to hijack the flight.

:-D

pobox90210

@ichi1: Giz is simply telling us about the REAL dangers of today's world.

eFrisk

@ripfire4: Love that legend! And so fresh with the new material with which one can contract the HI-vaids. (I hate it when it's referred to as HIV/AIDS, or worse the AIDS virus!)

qbrad

TSA bans macbook airs on all domestic and international flights

discounteggroll

Is Giz a little light on real news ???

ichi1

Hey guys

since German is my native language and went to the website to look into the stuff a little further. It definitely says on there that he DID NOT cut himself on the Air but on the regular MacBook. They TRIED to cut the bread with the Air but weren't very succesful. They said that the problem was to penetrate the surface of the bread, and afterwards the rest cutting wasn't a problem at all.

thegermandude517

But I do smell a photo contest here!

Okay, I've now taken a camera phone picture of me cutting my little toe off with a G3 iMac and I'm ready to send it to contests@gizmodo.com. But what do we put in the subject line? Was it "summer sun"?

itchytooth

Macbook Air or not, my multitool has more functionality: it can open bottles, cans, crimp wire, saw limbs/branches, and cut and if I'm careful, it won't cut me. Haven't figured out e-mail or media playback yet.

DigitalSciGuy

@diverguy: @isaacws: I've been using a mac for about 4 years now and love it. Windows just seems to fight against what I want to do. I've never used Linux so I can't speak to that but MacOS just seems more intuitive. Personal preference I guess. Sorry if this sounds like a commercial. I wouldn't consider myself anti-MS as I am deeply (and maybe a little weirdly) in love with my Xbox.

PollockRoc

@Kaiser-Machead: "

@diverguy:
@isaacws:

Quakers shouldn't be using computers. "

I concur. Stay with your shitty OS diverguy and issac. Assuming you're using Winblows of course. If you're using Unix, then keep it pimpin pimps.

TheSonOfKrypton

Actually I cut myself pretty badly on my aluminum iMac while I was moving it. I was holding it firmly on the left and right side and as I was lowering it down into the box, it slid and sliced the fingers on my right hand.

I later took a piece of paper and held it taught and ran it against the side of the iMac. Guess what? It sliced the paper.

Hackoff

Great. Just one more thing to keep away from Emo kids.

SoundArtist

@diverguy:
@isaacws:

Quakers shouldn't be using computers.

Kaiser-Machead

Whatevs... I've needed stitches from poorly designed PC cases before...

MagnoliaBoy

@diverguy: Yeah I am not sure why people love the OS so much. It about kills me to use it. I have a macbook for work but only run windows on it. So lame to use compared with ubuntu/*nix and windows.

isaacws

The perfect gift for that hipster-emo kid in your life.

PollockRoc

I've read one time that there was this person from Montreal who tried to steal a Macbook Air and ended up cutting himself from the edge. Later when he took it home and turned it on, there was a popup message saying "You have just been infected by HIV".

ripfire4

photo contest!
photo contest!

alter

You CAN'T cut bread with a macbook air. Here's a better translation to what it says in german: That the edges of some MacBooks an exaggerated tendency to sharpness have, is no secret. That you could cut yourself with it, was new to me until now. This happened to the Apfeltalk forum member Bajuware, who turned around and hit the edge exactly with his elbow. MacBook Air also has sharp edges, but it failed misserably at my bread-cutting test - totally the opposite to the dramatized presentation from Jensche (thanks for the photo), that can be found in the Apfeltalk form. Update: Since in other places and also in the fsckog comments some stuff is being misunderstood, I put here again the summary of what says up there: 1. The cut on the elbow happened with a MacBook and not with a MacBook Air 2. No, you cannot cut bread with a MacBook Air, at least you can't slice it. The photo is, as it says up there, a "dramatized presentation", a funny exaggeration of the indeed sharp edges of the MacBook Air. 3. True, you can hurt yourself with probably every imaginable device on earth, you only need to hit any unfortunate bodypart you want against it enough - this doesn't change the fact that some MacBooks and MacBook Air have sharp edges.

OwenHizay

I can bludgeon the fuck out of someone with an Aurora m17x. Nuts to this sissy booboo on aluminum stuff.

Kaiser-Machead

I just got to know that the translation for Unterhemd is wifebeater?! weird...

Rodeodave

@Rodeodave: beat me to it :)

moophisto

engadget had it wrong already, no need to copy their (still not fixed) errors over here ;)

a) elbow got cut on the edge of a MacBook, non-Air - MB on couch table, he turned, elbow slid along the edge, cut deep to the flesh, couch ruined with blood on it, cut doesn't hurt

b) photo is unrelated to post but kinda fit the topic, so they posted it, but claiming they failed to actually cut bread with the MacBook Air

moophisto

The original article sez:

1: The guy was cut by a MacBook, NOT a MacBook Air.

2: You can't slice bread with a MacBook Air, the pic is dramatized and therefore FAKE.

3: You can hurt/cut yourself almost anywhere, but still, there's some sharp edges on them MacBooks.

btw, I'm Austrian, so I kind of speak Germish.

Rodeodave

@Git Em SteveDave: Yeah, and he works for tips.

dingus

So if you shake the envelope enough the Air will cut its way out?

dingus

@ps61318: Does he advertise in the yellowpages?

Git Em SteveDave

Apply the Ed Norton Fight Club risk analysis mathematics on this one and you'll see that the Air isn't going anywhere....oh wait, forgot to carry the 3. Buh-bye MBA

Chester_Copperpot

It will cut. But if you spin it... Will it blend?

adamator

Let's hope the TSA doesn't read The Giz.

DearEditor

...gonna get one of these for my friend the Mohel...

ps61318

This reminds me of Eddie Izzard's Death Star Cantina tray bit... which has only been linked on Gizmodo about 8,000 times so I won't do it again.

Hiphopopotamus

@Darrone: guilty as charged.

frigg

Death By Mac it shall be....

(actually using any Mac is enough to drive people to kill themselves)

diverguy

Ah... the price we pay for cutting-edge, nay, bleeding-edge technology.

frigg

"Insert cutting edge of technology joke here."

A mac cutting an apple... That's like a bad geek snuff film.

Darrone