I say "guaranteed" date disasters, but that may be a little too strong a word. After all, it is possible to find a cool chick that can handle your geeky obsessions—but the likelihood of that happening is remote at best. So, if you have a date this weekend, it is probably in your best interest to hide gadgets that could be viewed negatively by women—gadgets like those found after the break.

If the Clapper is bad, a Star Trek Voice Activated Light Dimmer is liable to have her hospitalied for tearing a muscle in a fit of laughter. This geeky gem plugs into any standard wall outlet and can be illuminated in three brightness levels using simple voice commands—which will be confirmed by the voice of Majel Roddenberry herself. It also doubles as a night light—and we all know how much women love men who are afraid of the dark. Available for US$69.99. [Kleargear]

Creepy binoculars that make you seem like a pedophile are a definite no-no. So steer clear of these plushes with built-in binoculars. [Global Sources via Link]

I hate to break it to you guys, but there probably isn't a woman out there that would be interested in having sex with the Dr. Who Dalek, Optimus Prime, or the Dalek Sec Hybrid. So get those voice-changing helmets out of sight. Priced at US$79.99, US$34.99 and US$64.99 respectively. [Dalek and Optimus Prime and Dalek Sec Hybrid]

As impressive as your collection of Star Wars figures, video games, and squirt guns might be, many women will be turned off by a hobby that requires a significant financial investment—not to mention a dedicated wing of your home.

Religious fanatics are just plain creepy—so avoid over-the-top imagery like this Miracle Eyes Jesus plaque. If a woman sees a statue of Jesus with eyes that follow you around the room, she is going to think that you are in some sort of applesauce eating, Kool-Aid drinking cult. Besides, "Jesus didn't come to Earth to give us the willies." Available for US$8.75. [Merch-Bot]

When a woman enters your bathroom for the first time, she is going to poke around in there. We all do it. So, make sure that anything incriminating is disposed of properly. This is especially true if you happen to own one of these Turd Twisters. Basically, it is a device similar to those old Play-Doh machines that transform the dough into various shapes—only, instead of Play-Doh you are using your own feces. In all seriousness though, if you do use one of these, do the world a favour and stop dating altogether (no need to breed!). Available for US$14.89. [Prank Place via Link]

Finally, the furniture you select to decorate your home says a lot about you. And if you happen to have a coffee table shaped like an NES controller (or a coffin) and a dresser resembling the lower half of a naked woman—that says you are a twisted, geeky pervert. A bed with springs for legs won't help boost your image either. [NES Table and Coffin Table and Sexy Furniture and Spring Bed]