i'm sorry i BRUSH my teeth and WASH my face.
I've had sex less that it would take to justify living in there like the woman who wouldn't leave.
Anyways, i'd rather live my life outside the bathroom...

carmen89

@nutbastard:
I only buy them for the articles ;c)

Rabid Penguin

@shenanigans61:
Growing up I always had to use John Wayne toilet paper... you know the kind I'm talking about... tough as nails, and don't take shit.

Rabid Penguin

@Rabid Penguin:

"Reading"... right....

nutbastard

I really am quite content with wiping myself with regular old toilet paper.
I've been doing it for years, and it hasn't failed yet. Not changing now.

shenanigans61

@wolfenstein-3d: Ohhh! Sweet irony!

DustyButt

@carmen89: you shower, use the potty, brush your teeth and have sex in there. Needless to say that all you need is a fridge and a computer and maybe a TV, and you pretty much have a good percentage of life right there :P

@nutbastard: I lol'd

@DustyButt: You're one to talk. Your butt is dusty.

Kaiser-Machead

@92BuickLeSabre:
"...[I] use the potty occasionally, [and] have sex in there..." or
"...[I] use the potty, [and] occasionally have sex in there..."
Or was it meant that she occasionally has sex in there while using the potty?

Either way if the toilet comes with a stand for hands-free reading then we're in business.

Rabid Penguin

@DustyButt: Ironic that a guy named DustyButt is commenting about how clean he likes his ass to be...

wolfenstein-3d

What's the range on that remote? Can I hang out a few rooms away, and blast my guests in the ass with ice water when ever I want to?

I warned you to turn on the fan, you prick!

Munch

I thought it was called a "courtesy flush" but mercy flush works just as well.

jabber

Guys, that's not JUST bubble... that's a security camera.

Btw, how bad would it suck if you're sittin on the pot and checkin out the remote and accidently hit the "spray you up the ass" button.

wolfenstein-3d

I would totally order one of these -- if I hadn't just invested in a new bucket.

GeekyNerdGuy

@Carmen89: You've got to get with the bidet... Or at least a wet nap', your cornhole will thank you.

Like I say, If your ass isn't clean... then you ain't clean!

DustyButt

@92BuickLeSabre: so...what does the Japanese toilet/bidet do?

Scrubadub

@carmen89: Interesting. How do you decide whether you will wash your face or your teeth?

92BuickLeSabre

@Kaiser-Machead: Perhaps it is your orifices need for such a thing that we should fear.

shamoononon

HOLY SHIT THE INVISIBLE MAN IS COMING OUT OF THE TOILET!!!!

RUNNNNN!!!!

nutbastard

Is the remote waterproof? You know, in case you drop it in there ...

GeekyNerdGuy

@Kaiser-Machead: Agreed. I bet he's on the payroll of Big Paper. It's sad they use their advertising power to corrupt the youth of America to their horrible addiction of dry paper. Even Scientologists like Will Smith use wet wipes, and they don't believe in psychologists.

And to beat someone to the punch; In Russia, toilet flushes you!

Git Em SteveDave

@92BuickLeSabre: @Kaiser-Machead: i have a life outside the bathroom. I shower, wash my face or my teeth use the potty occasionally have sex in there...but idk just seems like a waste,lol.

carmen89

@carmen89: Your orifice hates you for keeping it in the Marcal stone age.

Kaiser-Machead

Thank Gods there's a manual control. I can barely find my TV/Cable remote as it is. Although, what would happen if I mixed the two up? I'd be on the bidet and someone goes to change the channel and I'm wet. On the plus side, you can now burn your partner in the shower from the comfort of your living room recliner.

Git Em SteveDave

@carmen89: You have clearly never had an opportunity to enjoy that miracle of modern technology known as the Japanese toilet/bidet, otherwise you would not speak in such a manner, but would reflect upon this improvement thoughtfully and in appropriately hushed and reverential tones.

92BuickLeSabre

But can it make the water drain the right way in the southern hemisphere?

Git Em SteveDave

are people this retarded? take your shit take your piss, wipe yourself, pull your pants up, flush and wash your hands and leave.

Plus Is that a freaking bubble in the toilet?!
the burrito that person had to have eaten.

carmen89

Is there a "mercy flush" auto function?

Kaiser-Machead

Big deal. My Japanese toilet has a remote control too and it looks like it was made in the 80's.

theharlotfelon

@drummerjoe: Oooh. I thought it's there for the chocolate fondue effect.

ripfire4

@citrush2o: No. But with a slight modification, it can perform a prostate exam.

ripfire4

Notice how large the "Oh god please make it STOP" button is.

And "analyzers in the bowl to check your bidness for signs of sickness"? That sounds like an amazing idea actually. Apply it to a few other things like toothbrushes and your morning routine could provide you a non-intrusive physical.

Gann

@carmen89: The toilet is a demo version. The "bubble" is there to stop the water from spraying all over the place, but lets people see how the bidet functions.

drummerjoe

@citrush2o: IDK. The picture on that bidet/move button is a little questionable. Is it a person have water splashed on their ass or is it a dildo blasting off?

If you have to look twice to tell, perhaps you should think twice before pressing it.

GeekyNerdGuy

@shenanigans61: Oh don't be such a fuddy-duddy.

Do you still drive a Model T? Call on a rotary phone? Listen to a Victrola? Read Gizmodo off of the weekly stone tablet digest and comment by throwing rocks at Frucci while he hides behind the bushes? No?

So why shouldn't technology be a part of one's bathroom business as well?

92BuickLeSabre

@citrush2o:
Only if you attempt to go while carmen89 is brushing her teeth.

Rabid Penguin

One question,
Will it steal my virginity?...

citrush2o

Yeah, these things have had remotes for a while. Was in Korea 2 years ago visiting a friend and theirs had a remote on the wall next to it.

Seriously, for those ignorant enough to think wiping with paper is good enough.......NASTY!! Bidets help prevent UTIs and hemorrhoids.

Geckotek

I assume most of the folks here have not "use" one of these before? I have used one and it was very pleasant and clean. I wish I had the extra money for one. Save me from buying paper ass wipe for life.

slstsang

So it has a remote... but when will it have a WiiMote, where you can control the water pressure and angle with hand motions.

I can't wait for this to become the equivalent of massage chairs - I like a number 4 followed by a number 6. I prefer a number 2, three 5s and then end with a soothing 1.

OtioseScandal

@Rabid Penguin: +10 for John Wayne reference. :)

shenanigans61

@92BuickLeSabre: Probably because I don't like the idea of water being sprayed up my (then shitty, no less) ass!
Fair enough?

shenanigans61

1) I'm thinking about getting one of those washlets (or other such bidet/toilet-seat combo) soon after I move out of university housing and into my own house. Can anybody tell me if these things eliminate the need to go out and buy TP, of if it just reduces the amount used?

2) Anybody ever used a "real" bidet -- the kind that is a whole extra porcelain bowl next to the toilet? I never had the opportunity...but are you supposed to do your business over at the toilet, then waddle over to the bidet with your pants around your ankles (and your ass still filthy) to clean up?

3) anybody stopped to think about the ridiculous price of toilet paper, and how much money one could save if the need for TP could be significantly reduced or eliminated with a one-time purchase of something like this? Decent TP is 50cents to $1 per roll...that adds up fast. I'd guess the production of TP is probably bad for the environment too...

EQC

What the shit? Do you need electronics to take a shit now?

redrabbit

paper is pretty much being phased out....

pevans34

And...will it blend?

totolobo

I went on ebay, made a bidet, and I wonay.

Sora57

If you have ever had a chance to live in Japan and use one of these then you will know how "ass" backwards it feels to go back to just toilet paper.
Your hemorrhoids will thank you.

glowplug

Just installed one the other day, pretty much a replacement seat cover.
Front/back washers, seat warmer, manual/wireless controls, a pretty interesting gadget.
Can't get myself to use the bidet function though, seat warmer FTW.

camo_r

My bathroom has a bidet. And a urinal. Along with a toilet. A couple of my friends kinda got weirded out my the bidet.
And everyone asks, "Well, have you tried it?"
Folks, I've lived here 4 years, what do you think?

Numerous

a question for the bidet haters -
If you had some shit on your hands would you wipe it with paper or wash it off?

MarvinJackson

FYI - similar ones (with remotes) have been available in the US for a long time now.

[www.amazon.com]

Note that all 7 reviewers gave it 5 stars!

jcutter

Headline says "how many come with remotes"...

Actually the bulk of the bidet toilets in Japan come with remotes. I agree with glowplug - this is the only way to go, and if you are going to use a bidet then wouldn't you rather the controller be up on the wall then down near where it can get sprayed by other people ??!?

jcutter

@redrabbit: Considering the website this has been posted on, there's a good chance of that being true...

Vindicare86