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I Bring Little Boy Out of a Coma With Nothing But My Presence
Posted by Jason Chen at 6:00 PM on April 1, 2008
Mr. T doesn't need no science or no brain pressure reliever. Mr. T can bring children out of comas by just going to their rooms. See exhibit T, a boy who was unlucky enough to fall into a coma some time in the mid-1980s. All I had to do is go to his hotel room, say some words, close the curtains, and by the time I was walking out of the hospital the kid was out of his coma! How did they know this kid was a fan of Mr. Me? Because whenever my name came up, his arm twitched! That's how! What did you think? Don't ask questions you already know the answer to. I'm Mr. T, and I bring kids out of comas! *Grunt* [Yahoo]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
martini1179
Posted 6:44 PM 1/4/08
Chuck Norris can swallow a Rubik's Cube and crap it out solved.
martini1179
Weihovah
Posted 6:37 PM 1/4/08
@jawzxy: chuck norris doesn't need some gadget or an ugly chick to help him. he just uses his beard
Weihovah
cyborgtroy
Posted 6:31 PM 1/4/08
Macgyver can get you out of a coma with a toothpick, a newspaper, and a bottle of Mountain Dew.
cyborgtroy
jawzxy
Posted 6:26 PM 1/4/08
Phooey, where's my Jack Bauer comment?
jawzxy
jawzxy
Posted 6:18 PM 1/4/08
@Weihovah: Jack Bauer can do it remotely using his PDA once Chloe has patched him into the hospital's main-frame, all while fighting off the terrorists who put the boy into the condition and tracking down his father who originally funded those terrorists.
jawzxy
Weihovah
Posted 6:07 PM 1/4/08
big deal... chuck norris can do that from the hospital parking lot
Weihovah
solOptimus
Posted 7:28 PM 1/4/08
Come on guys, that's just plain amazing. I love it. All the same, is this really gadget related?
solOptimus
Kevin O
Posted 8:45 PM 1/4/08
You Hear?
Kevin O
Kevin O
Posted 8:44 PM 1/4/08
And... Pities... I Pities the fool yesterday. Since Mr T is already in third person.
Kevin O
Kevin O
Posted 8:43 PM 1/4/08
Even Murdock could teach that Jack Bauer fool not to talk stupid. And Chuck Norris wasn't in any of the Rocky Franchises.
Do you hear, Fool? Mr. T brings children out of COMAs! I pity the fool who gets in the way of Mr. T. Mr T has a big black Van to take him where he is needed, and that is a gadget.
Kevin O
homerbklyn
Posted 8:32 PM 1/4/08
(and what the hell is the third person conjugation of pity?)
homerbklyn
homerbklyn
Posted 8:32 PM 1/4/08
(He closed the curtains ... an innovative gadget in hospitals.
homerbklyn
homerbklyn
Posted 8:31 PM 1/4/08
Mr. T pitys the fool who doesn't see the correlation between comas and gadgets.
homerbklyn
strider_mt2k
Posted 10:08 PM 1/4/08
I'd come out of a coma if a former TV star gave ME presents.
strider_mt2k
D.LYTE
Posted 10:02 PM 1/4/08
classic. hilarious. jean claude van damme has all those suckas beat down. all he's gotta do is the splits, stick his leg straight out, smile, and kids not only come out of comas, they awaken to super skills of kung fu and a 200 level IQ with comacceleration.
time for bed.....obviously.
D.LYTE
homerjay
Posted 10:28 PM 1/4/08
THANKS A LOT! I just spit Honey Bunches of Oats and milk all over my computer when I saw that picture.
Note to self- don't read Giz today while eating.
homerjay
wjousts
Posted 11:22 PM 1/4/08
Because whenever my name came up, his arm twitched!
How often does Mr. T's name come up?
wjousts
TheCyberBob
Posted 12:18 AM 2/4/08
@wjousts: Not often enough imho.
TheCyberBob
gibson042
Posted 12:05 AM 2/4/08
@Kevin O: I also have a big black van and can make children twitch. But all my publicity comes from the sex offender list.
gibson042
homerjay
Posted 12:01 AM 2/4/08
@wjousts: What the article didn't mention is a new therapy that doctors are trying out called T-Bagging. Its not what you think. Suffice to say Mr. T's name comes up plenty in therapy sessions.
homerjay
Galley
Posted 12:22 AM 2/4/08
I bet Mr. T is pretty good at putting people into comas, as well.
Galley
Zaos
Posted 1:38 AM 2/4/08
I pitty the foo who sleeps for 25 years, you need to get out there and spread the word for no mama jokes.
SHUT UP FOO
Zaos
Lorne
Posted 1:36 AM 2/4/08
@jawzxy:
I bet Jack Bauer double-posts all the time:
"Dammit Chloe! Where's that comment? This thing's about to redline! REPOST! REPOST!"
beep... boop... beep... boop...
"Oh, there it is. Never mind."
beep... boop... beep... boop...
Lorne
KiddChaos
Posted 1:30 AM 2/4/08
@wjousts: Well, it was the 80's. I know that nearly every conversation I had from '82 through '89 included a reference to either Mr. T, Megatron or Hulk Hogan.
KiddChaos
SkoGoody
Posted 2:51 AM 2/4/08
I'll probably get flamed to living hell for this...But I don't spend every single second of my day on Giz.
What's with all the Mr. T stuff? Can someone explain to me what's going on? April Fool's and Mr. T? I'm confused.
Thanks in advance.
SkoGoody
EBone
Posted 3:36 AM 2/4/08
@SkoGoody: We'll go really slow for you.
1) Mr. T says "I pity the fool who..."
2) Today is April Fools' Day.
I pity the April-Fool who doesn't get the joke...
EBone
pillarofsalt
Posted 4:24 AM 2/4/08
this made my day. far, far better than gawker announcing they sold jezebel to conde nast.
pillarofsalt
Jesus Diaz
Posted 4:54 AM 2/4/08
@pillarofsalt: This is real, though.
Jesus Diaz
Evangelion
Posted 10:18 AM 2/4/08
@martini1179: I lol'd!!!
Evangelion
Evangelion
Posted 10:18 AM 2/4/08
@jawzxy: Yeah, but Chuck Norris will just round house kick Jack Bauer....
Evangelion