@Bos'un's Mate: Oh jesus, lololol

Gotta love the wet wipes when you have been stuck next to 2 guys you just know have been jacking off under the table to the stewardess which walks up and down every 5 mins.

fLUx1337

@mricyfire: This will be so worth having sex in it. I'd have sex in every each single foot of the bathroom and shower.
It better be 18k for like a good amount of time an hour or two.

SneakerFiend

Ah, but "pferde_schwanz" got really close to the zinger here. The way carbon offsets work, you see, what they need to do is get Beachcraft or Leer to sell a private jet with a hot shower in it. Then, they can say that the carbon footprint of providing the option of a shower to their first class passengers, they're OFFSETTING the carbon that would have been used if EACH of those first class passengers had bought and flown on their own private jet so that they could have the same OPTION to shower. Remember, each ticket in first class costs 18,000 regardless of you USING the shower.

So, the way Carbon Offsets work,this airline can claim they're offsetting the all that carbon per passenger for the production and operation of a private jet. They can then sell those offset credits to allow Al Gore to live nicely in his mansion and drive his big cars and so on while feeling guilt-free.

If by now you're thinking Carbon Offsetting is utter and complete crap -- welcome to reality.

BTW: I recall having a client fly me first class on a British Airways 777 some years back when those were new, and the round trip ticket to London from Boston was 7500 bucks. Similarly, A first class Delta ticket to Tokyo from Boston was in that range as well. While both offer nice international first class service, they aren't even in the same light cone as what Emerites is apparently planning.

AndrewJayPollack

While I like their ambition, and concede there's few things more relaxing than a shower when traveling long distances, I have to agree with the environmentalists: there is waste in dragging 25 extra tons per flight (for something passengers will use sparingly).

Samifumi

sorry - brunette - my bad

mtopper

"who's to say that the $18,000 isn't paying for some carbon offsets".

who's to say that the $18,000 isn't paying for some

TIME WITH THE BLONDE

mtopper

@TheCyberBob: Ding ding ding!

Might be a tad slow, though.

Although I guess if I paid 18,000$ for a flight, I'd rather it take a few days.

Guizzy

@tidybowl: Isn't buying Carbon Offsets like setting up a peeing section in a public pool? Sure you pay for the right to pee in the pool but that's still pee in the pool regardless of how much you paid.

TheCyberBob

Bos'un's Mate

@Slartibartfast:

golden?

mtopper

$18,000 for a shower like 10 hours in advance?

I don't think so.

Atsumi

I stand corrected. If we take the max fuel and max takeoff weight scenario for the A380-800 [en.wikipedia.org] the payload will be 35,200 kg. (about 1/3 the listed max payload)
* Max takeoff weight: 560,000 kg
* Operating empty weight: 276,800 kg
* Max Fuel weight: 248,000 kg (310,000 L x 0.80 kg/L)

Each kg of payload requires 7 kg of fuel. (248,000 / 35,200)

Combustion will produce 2.44 kg of CO2 for each kg of fuel burned:
* C8H18 + 12.5 O2 --> 8 CO2 + 9 H2O
* (carbon mass = 12, oxygen mass = 16, hydrogen mass = 1)
* gasoline mass = 8*12 + 18 = 114
* CO2 mass = 8 * (12 + 2*16) = 352

Flying a ton of payload (in this worst case scenario) will produce 17 tons of CO2.
((7 kg_fuel per kg_payload) * (2.44 kg_CO2 / kg_fuel))

It's not 25:1, but definitely in the same ballpark.

Bos'un's Mate

Carbon Offsets = hypocrisy at its finest.

Geisrud

who's to say that the $18,000 isn't paying for some carbon offsets.

That's how Al Gore does it - builds a honkin' big house that uses more electricity in a day that most houses use in a year, and then buys some offsets to make him feel all righteous.

tidybowl

Just thought about this a bit more. Why doesn't someone bring back Zeppelin (helium only please) air travel again? I mean just charge a rediculous amount to travel on it so these richies take it instead of airplanes. Way more green overall and still exclusive enough to appease the Paris Hilton-esque rich types.

TheCyberBob

<3 the last paragraph! :D

Bash_

Do they store the used water anywhere on the plane or they just drain it out?
I'm asking because... who hasn't peed in the shower before?
I mean, with all the bubbly they serve in first class... you are bound to get more in the drain than what you put out of the faucet....

aec007

well, a hot shower is still something you can't get on most private jets, right? and taking a private jet uses a lot more CO2 than a first-class ticket on an a380 - so if the ultra-rich actually buy into this, the world will be better off, right? god, that ain't right.

pferde_schwanz

@ajm3: I'd imagine that the carbon is from the extra fuel needed to generate extra thrust to carry all that water in flight. Otherwise if the water itself had that much carbon you'd need a shower to rinse off that shower afterwards.

TheCyberBob

Bos'un: 1 ton of water = 239 gallons. Very hard to get 1 ton of carbon from 9.5 gallons of water!!

ajm3

That's what Elliot Spitzer pays for a shower.

Slartibartfast

Hold on.

According to the post it makes it look like its $18,000 for Just the shower.

From the Original article it looks like the $18,000 is for the 1st class ticket.

Still insanely expensive, but i haven't priced Dubai->New York tickets.

godai

Shower the rich with gold.

ANoel

One ton of payload equating to 25 tons of carbon cost does not compute.

Bos'un's Mate

Id still feel dirty after an $18,000 shower.

Out2gtcha

A new definition to the mile high club!

lafond66

$18000 for a bath??? You better crap in the tub and have relations with all the flight attendants. And then it might be worth it.

mricyfire

@Geisrud:

Attacking carbon offset, you big man now? Hypocrisy at its finest is not attacking the big oil who is squeezing every dime out of you but attacking those who are trying to make a difference.

KenL

What's with the Al Gore haters? Like denigrating Gore suddenly makes you a eco-rebel? Yeah, Gore has a big house and travels by private plane, so what? You expect him to bike to every presentation he gives?

I do not think carbon offset is a piece of crap, AndrewJayPollack ye who comes up with the gem of "Remember, each ticket in first class costs 18,000 regardless of you USING the shower." O RLY? I forgot, thank you for reminding me? And what's with using the conspiratorial "they" as if carbon offset companies are trying to squeeze every drop of you, as opposed to, say, Exxon, BP, etc who are? Why aren't you attacking those motherf*ckers?

Unlike you, I flew in intl first class using my own dime.

KenL

@SneakerFiend: It is for 12 hours stright, from Dubai to New York. I have been to New York once, but I had to leave from Dubai to London, then from London to NY, it took me 15 hours. People remember, this is a 12-hour flight.

@Samifumi: By the way, we are not required to shower in our cloths. :)

@xamarshahx: I love Emirates Airlines. :)

Biggy

i flew emirates once to india, that airline is kickass even in coach. you get a comfortable seat, with plenty of leg room, foot stool, head rests with working flaps, and hundreds of on-demand, movies, shows, and music. plus the cabin lights change with the day and the flight staff all look pretty and speak multiple languages (the staff we had spoke 9 i believe).

xamarshahx

I need a really eloquent and convincing greenie to explain to me how one Kg of avgas creates 2.4kg of CO2.

Really? Combustion creates mass?

What is that I smell?

av8thor

@Arelar: I missed the "Muslims Only" disclaimer on the sales contract between passengers and Emirates Air.

I also missed the part in Islam where Muslims are required to shower in their clothes.

Samifumi

guys you just showed a pic of a nudie on a muslim airline. do you have a dutch death wish (DDW)?

Arelar

@qbrad: -Exactly. I thought this was a non-event as Arabs don't bathe, right?

spaceman7

@av8thor: Sorry I wasn't more explicit. Stoichiometric combustion occurs as:

C8H18 + 12.5 O2 --> 8 CO2 + 9 H2O where,
    carbon mass = 12, oxygen mass = 16, hydrogen mass = 1
    C8H18 mass = 8(12) + 18(1) = 114
    O2 mass = 2(16) = 32
    CO2 mass = 1(12) + 2(16) = 44
    H2O mass = 2(1) + 16(1) = 18

114kg C8H18 + 12.5(32)kg O2 = 8(44)kg CO2 + 9(18)kg H2O
114kg C8H18 + 400kg O2 = 352kg CO2 + 162kg H2O

So yes, 1kg of avgas produces 2.44 kg of CO2. Mass is fully conserved. No bullshit.

Bos'un's Mate

@qbrad: They bathe in pools of gold, like Scrooge McDuck.

Guizzy

Do Arabs from oil even bathe?

qbrad

In addition, in most 1st class lounges (departure and arrival) around the world, there are shower facilities - some even rival that of a spa. I can only think of two reasons to take a shower in the sky: 1) post-activity clean up and 2) just so you can say on Gizmodo I peed in the shower in the air.

KenL

Don't these Bozos bathe before they leave the house?

Ednonymous

how many people do you know hops on a flight without first taking a shower at home? are people that dirty that they need a shower in the sky?

brings new meaning to the term "filthy" rich.

tresmith

@KenL - Couple of points here:

The reason I say carbon offsets are crap, is that they are not effectively based on any kind of real savings in energy consumption of 'carbon' output. (it also turns out carbon isn't as big a culprit as has been believed, once you use a greenhouse warming equation that doesn't assume an infinitely thick atmosphere.

I'm all for saving energy and even for burning cleaner fuels. Carbon offsets, however, end up being just another subsidy to hide the inefficiency of so many of these so called clean energy sources. If clean is important to you, be clean. Don't lie to yourself that buying carbon offsets excuses you from having to do your own work.

As far as you paying for your own first class ticket, I fail to see how throwing away a few thousand dollars makes you smarter than I. I don't make clients pay for first or even business class any more -- times have changed, and there are good seats with power for the laptop and plenty of room in the back now on many airlines. I certainly would never drop 7000 dollars more for the same six hour flight just for a hot towel and a bit of legroom.

As far as Al Gore hating -- I don't hate him. I don't care much one way other the other. He's just a convenient straw man to use as a symbol for the argument.

AndrewJayPollack

@92BuickLeSabre:
Fanboy, islamo-bashing, misogynist, dead meme comment? I'm surprised I haven't read:

"Only a rich, smelly Saudi prince can afford to buy a Apple computer...although their wives are so stupid they'd think it blends and make a hi-tech fig smoothie out of it."

Is that stupid, ignorant or offensive enough? You might need to revise your list. :)

johnnyabnormal

Gawker has regular executions. Should Gizmodo commence electrocutions?

Bos'un's Mate

@Substance_D:oooopppsss! I'm sorry i misunderstood.

Amiash

@Substance_D: why sir? people stink not just the Arabs!

Amiash

@Topcat: Thanks! That makes a lot more sense. If combustion looks closer to:
C12H26 + 18.5 O2 --> 12 CO2 + 13 H2O, then my earlier CO2 calculation was low by 33%. So, one ton of payload does equate to 25 tons of CO2 output (in the Emirates scenario). Ho-lee-shit.

Bos'un's Mate

Good. I have yet to meet more than a handful of arabs that don't tend to smell like shit frequently.

Substance_D

Envirocomment: check
Anti-envirocomment: check
Anti-anti-envirocomment: check
Anti-Al-Gorecomment: check
Anti-anti-Al-Gorecomment: check
Somebodyelse's-moneycomment: check
My-own-damned-moneycomment-cause-I'm-rich-but-don't bragcomment: check
Scientific-debate-questioning-the-sourcecomments: check
Hotpic!comment: check
Sexcomment: check
Sexfetishcomment: check
Anti-muslimcomment: check
Anti-anti-muslimcomment: check
Racistcomment: check
Jackassmetacomment: check

*mulls over the list*

Okay, we just need a few more things here...some kind of rebuttal to the racistcomment, possibly some kind of "fanboy" call - although that will be difficult here...although we do have the Emirates and Air India love, a decent start - something generally misogynist plus the rebuttal would be good. A couple of dead memes (blend, clean overlords, whatever). If we can keep up the pace, we may be able to cover all the bases in less than 50 comments. Let's get on it people!

92BuickLeSabre

@Bos'un's Mate: Would be correct if turbine engines used isooctane (or even avgas), but they use Jet A-1 fuel with a range of carbon numbers from 9-16 (as defined by BP's MSDS), which significantly increases the molar quantity of CO2 produced per kg fuel.

Topcat

@qbrad: @spaceman7: You two are SO banned. Can I get it..?

ibelli

@spaceman7: Ok...back away from the radio. Michael Savage is not your friend. Rush isn't either.

johnnyabnormal

since has anyone who lived in a desert cared about global warming.....

PiOnMe

@AndrewJayPollack:

Right Andrew, somehow *you*, but not scientists who work on climate, know that greenhouse warming equation should not assume an infinitely thick atmosphere. I mean, every idiot should know that, right?

Or perhaps more likely, you read that on some nutjob non-peer reviewed site that somehow figured out this failure of scientists - who are all radical socialists who apparently know nothing about science and equations.

Second, I don't buy buy carbon offsets either and I consider myself an environmentalist. No one is saying the carbon offset IS the one and only solution to global climate change so you are creating a fake strawman here in order to knock it down.

My post is why bother with this strawman? Wilson raised a legitimate question of the cost of dragging all the water around and suddenly people railed against carbon offsets and Al Gore as if they are a front to your existence and wealth and the Exxons of the world are your friends.

KenL

wow. now that's proper allocation of our natural resources and money. i can't wait till oil runs out and they stop actin so 'tarded. i mean, i understand uber-yachts and polygamy, but not this.

dedalus987

@TheCyberBob: About the zeppelin thing:

A) They are slow. Who wants to waste so much time?
B) There is no space inside of them. The reason those old airships worked is because they used hydrogen instead of helium, so they could use the inside of the big bubbel. With helium. you need so little weight that the only space is just under the balloon.

wvv

@Substance_D: You must not know much about the UAE. Whatever crazy stereotype you give Arabic people can pretty much be thrown out when dealing with people living in Dubai. They're in their own category i think.

GrimaceXL

@TheCyberBob: Yeah, I was wondering why noone could figure that out.

GrimaceXL

@Substance_D
From the looks of your pic, it appears you're the one who bathes in shit on a regular basis.

Hardcore1

@mricyfire: You know when you factor in the weight/fuel penalty per passenger using the shower, $18,000 ain't that unreasonable. On the other hand, why don't you just fly first class and use the lounge facilities at the airport when you land?

YouCanEatMe

@92BuickLeSabre: John Mayer here. I'll take the "meme" spot.

gibson042

I'll sell you a shower when you arrive for half the price! I'll even hand wash you :P

bu11etman

@GrimaceXL: Yeah, they are different than those other Arabs. Maybe they are like Jews. They like money, right? What the hell is wrong with Americans and their ignorance? Ok, I know reverse isms are not the way to go, but really, @Substance_D: I have yet to meet more than a handful of Americans who don't tend to be ignorant morons.

@qbrad: and @spaceman7: Don't you people cut the stomachs out of children and bathe in their blood?

capitalass

@gibson042: Anyhoo...

johnnyabnormal