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Apple Opening Peepshows In Apple Stores Worldwide
Posted by Jesus Diaz at 2:20 AM on March 8, 2008
LONDON, United Kingdom (Agencies). Following a successful pilot program in the London Apple Store, and perhaps too many caipirinhas at the Infinite Loop party which followed yesterday's iPhone SDK presentation, a visibly tipsy Steve Jobs announced the introduction of a new Peepshow feature in all Apple Stores worldwide:
"Heck yeah!" Apple CEO shouted at a reporter. "We can't wait to see what our great clients and fantastic developers can do with that. Hahahahaha. Ha. OK, maybe we don't actually want to see it, but you know what I mean." Jobs said before leaving the room with a sightly pale green face, mumbling something that sounded remarkably similar to "no more cocktails made by Phil in the morning."
According to sources, testing of the new system just finished a few days ago directed by Peter "Pit" Pinkerton (pictured above). He was the head of the test team in the London Apple Store at Regent Street.
Asked about how the system worked by a Daily Mirror reporter at his home in Islington, the octogenarian porn expert declined to comment under a non disclosure agreement with the Californian company. He only muttered "hehehehe. That Steve," before closing the door of his beige one bedroom flat. It's rumoured that Mr. Pinkerton was also a contributor to Gizmodo's The Most Disgusting and Gross Tech Gear Gallery Ever and a personal friend of Jason Chen.
Jason Chen declined to comment for this article, citing the same NDA with Apple. [Flickr via iPhone Savior]
Notice: for the slower kids, yes, this is a sillypants post.
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Curves
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
Notice how close to the screen his face is. Did grandpa remember the viagra and forget his glasses or is he hopeful for smellivision.
Curves
P3nnst8r
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
@nachobel: and his head.
P3nnst8r
scarbrtj
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
It is a sin to spill thy appleseed upon the ground.
scarbrtj
Daimyo Nintendo
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
lmao that old guy is loving it, no shame at all lol. "Oy govna, hunch back peeping at the axe wound are we."
I love British like I love the Dutch :D
So...when can I expect this in Canada?
Daimyo Nintendo
Jimbuck
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
The paper is under the monitor however, deeming it plausible that he is looking at porn. I think i've seen this guy at my apple store. *sanitizes hands*
Jimbuck
Redwraithvienna
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
@Death:
Well if its *fap-fap-fap* its still active ...
but i do kinda think that he is picking up a hooker ...
Redwraithvienna
NaleAne
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
ummmmm what?
NaleAne
Grifter
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
Hell-hairy-ass! The guy must be into little boys though (don't mean to be a spoiler here). As you can see, he is READING THE DAMN NEWSPAPER! Silly old fart!
Grifter
Noobs-R-Us
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
*waka* *waka*
Noobs-R-Us
Geisrud
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
Looks like Andy Rooney
Geisrud
mthrndr
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
@badhatharry: yeah, exactly. how did quasimodo oldy even find his way to that site?
mthrndr
mrdale
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
wank-different.
mrdale
ANoel
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
Give that guy a raincoat. Quick!
ANoel
Mayor McRib
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
The Apple Store is historic for being a location that provides happy endings.
Mayor McRib
Kaiser-Machead
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
@Ghede: LOL
Kaiser-Machead
turbofc3s
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
@Ghede: It's Skeksis!
[www.scifi-universe.com]
turbofc3s
Ghede
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
The way his head is positioned... That is no old man! That is a Porn Vulture!
Ghede
discounteggroll
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
he's definitely getting his pro care on
discounteggroll
loserface
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
Hey... There's grandpa!
loserface
funkytooth
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
Maybe he read your posting the Cosmo article about getting laid at the Apple stores.
funkytooth
humorbot
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
That clever techno-chap is probably a regular Giz reader. Watch out Jesus, you burned a lot of pencil mileage on him. He might sue, or ask for a reach-around.
humorbot
Kaiser-Machead
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
That's what happens when your store is akin to an internet cafe
Kaiser-Machead
badhatharry
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
I'm just amazed the old guy knows how to use the internet and doesn't think it's some sort of sorcery like my grandpa did.
badhatharry
desostros
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
APPLE FANBOYS !..
What what?
Where am i?
Who are you?
desostros
feckineejit
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
creepy!
feckineejit
Death
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
@Redwraithvienna:
This is better how? Same thing/different monitor.
Death
Monty
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
If that can still get the juices flowing for him, so be it.
Monty
nachobel
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
it's good for his heart at least.
nachobel
cubensis
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
*fap* Fap* *fap* not *noise* *noise* *noise*
cubensis
Redwraithvienna
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
Hey he is just choosing his evening entertainment ... i mean ... its better than the millions of old guys sitting in front of the tv and turning into vegetables
Redwraithvienna
nikeplr
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
Stop framing the poor old man!.....perverts!!
nikeplr
workingonyourinvoice
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
This happens a lot. Had to make a "customer" leave once because he was watching a gay porn video in a small window on an imac. There were kids running around the store and everything. It wasn't even a slow day. Some people are severely disturbed...
workingonyourinvoice
i4ni
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
Haha brilliant photo!
i4ni
agrajag42
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
That's where I left grandpa! Now, if I could only find his medicine...
agrajag42
DangerousDac
Posted 3:34 AM 8/3/08
Fucking hell. This makes me ashamed to be British...
DangerousDac
discounteggroll
Posted 4:53 AM 8/3/08
@Geisrud:
is he still on sixty minutes?
"you know the thing that ticks me off most about apple computers, is that there's no right click to save my favorite porn movies. I can also see my own reflection in the glossy display which turns even myself off to my eyesore of a body"
discounteggroll
tamoko
Posted 4:53 AM 8/3/08
@Geisrud: Probably smells like him too...hand lotion and moth balls.
tamoko
Monty
Posted 4:53 AM 8/3/08
The photo is a fantastic advertisement for hand sanitizers, by the way.
Monty
chopstickhero
Posted 4:53 AM 8/3/08
creeeeepy!
chopstickhero
JRo
Posted 4:53 AM 8/3/08
I call Photoshop BS.
JRo
SeattleTed
Posted 4:53 AM 8/3/08
/Friday was just made
SeattleTed
Garrison Dean
Posted 4:53 AM 8/3/08
I can't wait til I'm old. You get a free pass for shit like this.
Garrison Dean
halfro
Posted 4:53 AM 8/3/08
Maybe he's surfing the one website that ALWAYS gives him a virus on a windows machine. If the apple can handle the page he'll buy one?
halfro
halfro
Posted 4:53 AM 8/3/08
@Geisrud: Holy shit you're right!
halfro
halfro
Posted 4:53 AM 8/3/08
Never heard anyone getting 86ed from an Apple store, but I think this guy just did it.
Just imagine if he was at the kiddy section sitting on one of those little red balls looking at goodies.
halfro
mthrndr
Posted 6:15 AM 8/3/08
@Asvetic: Win.
mthrndr
dezeinstein
Posted 6:15 AM 8/3/08
Ayyyy Jizz-modo!
dezeinstein
B1663R
Posted 6:15 AM 8/3/08
@Asvetic: OH MY FREAKIN' GOD THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!!!!
B1663R
Asvetic
Posted 6:15 AM 8/3/08
Saw that image and immediately thought of Fonejacker:
+ Watch video
Asvetic
tamoko
Posted 6:15 AM 8/3/08
@discounteggroll: There is a right click for Macs, it just his arthritis kicking in.
Look at his face in the reflection...doesn't he look like Emperor palapatine, or at least the undertaker from Phantasm?
tamoko
mtopper
Posted 7:44 AM 8/3/08
he's not even looking at the screen - Photoshop!!!
mtopper
Playstation
Posted 7:44 AM 8/3/08
it was photoshopped..
Playstation
Cobolman2
Posted 7:44 AM 8/3/08
@Gizmog: Hey, I was doing important research for my thesis: "Dating Patterns of Lingerie Models in the 21st Century". It was all legit, I swear.
Cobolman2
Gizmog
Posted 7:44 AM 8/3/08
That's pretty...creepy. I mean, just the way he's all hunched over like that...ack.
That reminds me of the time there was this old, vaguely homeless-looking guy in my college's computer lab. He was clearly not a student. My college blocks porn (I assume) but he was still looking at modeling sites, dating sites, lingerie stores...it was very creepy, just because it's like, here's this dirty old homeless guy, and he's surrounded by all these young college students and he sometimes just stared at them...ew.
Gizmog
TheDTrain
Posted 9:08 AM 8/3/08
Where's Carl Monday when you ACTUALLY need him?
wait...this is gizmodo, not deadspin??
TheDTrain
DeLarge
Posted 10:25 AM 8/3/08
That photo is the confirmation of why I never touch an Apple Store keyboard.
For the people that argue Photoshop... look again, you can see the old man is getting web addresses from the newspaper!!!
DeLarge
VakeroRokero
Posted 11:43 AM 8/3/08
what's the matter??? can't anyone check their myspace in private anymore???
VakeroRokero
Daversa
Posted 11:43 AM 8/3/08
I love that he chose the 24" imac to be descrete haha
Daversa
Final
Posted 3:28 PM 8/3/08
LOL the paper in front if him probably has the classifieds for escorts.
God Bless Apple for helping older, Kyphotic, men get laid
Final
shawnmos
Posted 8:56 AM 9/3/08
@badhatharry: My grandfather is 80 and manages all of his money online.
shawnmos
drsmith
Posted 3:19 AM 10/3/08
humor is not gizmodo's forte. don't quit your day jobs is all I'm sayin...
drsmith