Breast Massage Robot is the Future of Breast Massages
Prepare yourselves, dear readers, for the greatest invention of the 21st century so far: the Breast Massage Robot. Yes, this miracle of modern science is designed for all sorts of women, from "girls who are reaching or having reached puberty, hope to improve the growth of breast" to "women who want to improve the quality of their sex activities" to "women who want to have pretty breasts." And it only gets better from there.
The device is the brainchild of one Mr. Wang Wei, founder and proprietor of Beijing BUBBY Robot Technologies CO., LTD. His business proposal for the Breast Massage Robot is the best thing I've ever read in my entire life.
As a result of market research, we specified our targeting consumer groups which are listed below:He then goes into great detail with an equally-misguided business plan which I recommend you check out as well. So, any investors up for it? It's "expected to be filling market vacancy and in great demand," so don't miss out! [Product Page via Dark Roasted Blend]1.Girls who are reaching or having reached puberty, hope to improve the growth of breast.
2.Women who received surgery in the breast, desire to have a faster and better recovery.
3.Mothers, who are nursing babies, want to release the pain and to accelerate the secretion of breast milk.
4.Female who is having the period, want to release the swelling pain of breasts.
5.Women who want to lower the incidence of mastopathies.
6.Women, who are under pressure, want to relax themselves.
7.Women who want to improve the quality of their sex activities.
8.Women who want to have pretty breasts.
The Breast Massage Robot stimulates massager's hand movements to perform comfortable massage. It is capable of automatically adjusting itself to fit various breast shapes. It also features good portability and a variety of massage programs.
We will sincerely corporate with investors to make the BMR the hottest high-tech product worldwide.
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Please do not misunderstand, this invention the original intention is not to replace the men, is Stripping out part-working in intimate exchanges from the robot to do. Avoid Fatigue of part-working Cause the fatigue of feelings, so makes the more pure feelings between people.health Breast needs the massage 10-minuts daily , this part-working doing every day by you love men would be unwise!
massage99
I`m coming.Continue to say that.I am watching .Dear
bubby wei.wang
massage99
Is Mr. Wang going to invent a robotic male muscle stimulator to help with prevention of calcification of and growing a prettier male phallus?
I would imagine he could just call it the "Wang massager", or maybe even the "wang-erciser".
While I see myself as more of a masculine type man..... kicking back among the moose and bears in the remote wilderness of New Hampshire's white mountains for weeks with nothing but a knife, I don't know how comfortable I would be with a metal contraption comprised of steel gears and hinges anywhere near my groin.
SPSteve
I see no forefinger/thumb armature. How does it gently twist and tug the nipple?
mildretard
Go Here: [massage99.blog.sohu.com] Do Not Miss!
See Dr. Wang's own web site full of Chinese words and some real videos of the machine in action. Oh, it straps on... no painful screws! All he needs to really get sales going is to add accessories for the lower extremities ;) ! Just spin it around to massage your work chewed ass!
Might be fun to do an online translation... but not today.
TomTrifik
@ThaKadinskyPapers:
Actually, I've done a lot of research into this (by research I mean medically, not sophmorically) and have found that starting out with reiki and then moving to efflurage (I can't spell today for some reason) causes the nerve receptors to sooth themselves.
Once soothed to a certain point, this allows for other massage techniques. Remember that Massage isn't just kneading muscles, it's stimulation for a desired outcome. If there is a wound that we're trying to work on to prevent scarring, often times we will use a light touch form of massage.
Same with breast massage. Frankly I've never had a single woman report anything but relaxation and pain reduction after breast massage.
As for them getting fuller, I don't know what else to say except I thought the same thing until I saw it happen myself with my ex GF. she was always a DD, but now gravity isn't nearly as harsh on them as it once was. and no, she didn't have surgery ;)
Either way, a machine can't do any of these things, it takes a knowledgeable touch.
Magiksreal
this guy is running out of ideas
cant help but laugh
Amiash
Where's the live demonstration?
Dooga
@Snowbunny: it's a fact.
but the $$$$'s of dollars per ounce of creams don't work.
it's the actual action while applying the cream that works.
skulldriveshaft
@ThaKadinskyPapers: antialiasing be damned!
skulldriveshaft
It looks cold. o.O
eternalargus
Wow, I've been looking for one of these (sorta)
Truth: It's a very silly looking machine, but I actually kinda love the idea!
I'm a (ahem) quite mature lady who has a balcony you could do Shaksphere off of, full cast. I'm all-natural boobishly blessed, not fat, and very physically active farming & horsetraining. I hate boulder-holder-bondage-chafers (bras) with a purple passion and yeah! My chestal regions just purrrrr for a nice massage!
Which very few men in my myriad experiences are either very good at, or willing to spend more then 30 seconds or so at it. At least without instantly assuming that it's a sexual favor, and they will be sexually favored in return. Which is possible, provided they happen to be sexually favorable; sadly... many die-hard boob fans seem to be lacking in any other sexual skills past the point of adolesecent titty-worship-from-afar.
I dunno if I'd really purchase this prototype machine thingie, but I've always sworn if I ever get really really rich I'll hire a few handsome savvy cabana boys to stand or sit close behind me constantly, just holding all these pounds up off my chest. That's... Nirvana hehe.
Magz
But I am the past and present of breast massages, and by breast massages, I mean titty fuckings.
scarf
@Curves: I still think your logic is flawed. No guy I know would want to admit they needed a mechanical device to attract women to their home.
That would be like admitting we stuff socks in the front of our pan... shit.
Nothing to see here. Move along.
SuppleMonkey
If it wasn't so creepy already, I'd say we put an embargo on them. There simply is no demand for an item like this, so I hope wang didn't spend too much making it. Instead, I would have invented a pair of vibrating wristbands which are worn while giving a breast massage. Then you'd have us guys lining up to buy a pair for the medical concern over the woman in our lives. Also the wristbands would be large size, so they likely wouldn't fit a womans wrist...
Hello_Newman
Good luck getting a real live girl for testing.
ninjatales
Hey, a robot, and they are using money to do this, aren't there a lot of people and children dying from starvation, and they spend money on something I'm willing to do for free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What the hell is the people thinking, i'm pretty sure the people developing this are 2x to 5x virgins who never got to get a date to they promp party!!!!!
Please, cit the crap out and start getting a way to get rid od aids, cancer, smog, global warming, or instatn teleport, even better, time travel, so you can give your younger self money to get a hocker!!!!!!!
cjlopez
Great! First, I lose my job on the assembly line due to robots, now I'm gonna lose my current job because of them!
Darkest Daze
This guy needs to get to work on a robotic ass-scratcher, I'm tired of always leaning over...
atomx
So... a FREAKING robot can, and I can't??
WTH is that?
Pedophile robot and creator are gonna face some jail time soon enough...
Bokusatsu_Tenshi
@burningsensation: ha!
ThaKadinskyPapers
These robots are willing to do the dirty jobs Americans don't want to--hey wait a minute
burningsensation
@SuppleMonkey: Why would a man buy this? So he can lie to his Buddies about all the women that come to his place for a massage.
Why would'nt a woman buy this? With rare exception, we have 2 hands; we have 2 breasts; we can do it ourselves. Also, no man on earth would buy it for her, or approve use of his funds for same.
God Bless Men :)
Curves
@kingbob337:
"Female who is having "the period." Because there is multiple kinds."
what?
You mean like, my wife ia a complete pain when she has her apostrophy, or is bitchy as hell while on her semi-colon, but a complete asshole when she's got her colon?
ANoel
@Curves:
That's silly. Why would men buy this?
A) Men would rather handle the breast massaging (pun intended).
B) Men do not want their OWN man-boobs massaged.
It's a lose-lose proposition. A useless invention to be ignored by both sexes. (Well, okay, maybe not robot fetishists, but I suspect they're a relatively small sub-population.)
SuppleMonkey
The best thing would be to teach the spouses to preform the massage. I suppose this gadget would be fine to escape the moral implications from this kind of touching.
wsnideman
I really don't see this machine being as gentle or as interactive as a human hand. That's a tender area for a woman.
wsnideman
Lol, i am surprised no one mentioned this earlier"
Female who is having "the period." Because there is multiple kinds.
kingbob337
I, for one, welcome our breast massaging robot overlords.
banmojo
@Magiksreal: Dude, I'll give you #2 and #3 but that's it.
4.Female who is having the period, want to release the swelling pain of breasts.
Most women would prolly tell you that when their breasts hurt during their cycle, it's a hands-off night. Even showering can be somewhat bothersome.
5.Women who want to lower the incidence of mastopathies.
You called this one a stretch yourself :)
6.Women, who are under pressure, want to relax themselves.
I'm not saying a 'pectoral muscle massage' might not feel soothing to some woman, somewhere, but again, I argue you would find most women will tell you it's nipple sensation that's the life of the party here. And nipple sensation is not normally equated with 'relaxing'.
8.Women who want to have pretty breasts.
Sorry, dude, I'm gonna have to call bullshit on you here, too. ANY woman can tell you that all the wishing, rubbing and stuffing in the world does not a fuller bust make. If it did, plastic surgeons would be out of business.
ThaKadinskyPapers
"daughter, now that you have turned 12 it is time for you to get your first breast massage robot!remember you will get the vibrator on your 16th and we go to the sperm bank on your21st"
Manve
I'd buy one for pure enjoyment of random invention ever made.
aaj111
That thing looks like its straight out of the Movie Saw, besides if a woman needs breats massages, I'm sure there are plenty of men out there that would be more than willing to lend a hand (or two)
cduran02
Any women in need of breast massages could just ask me - I won't charge for it.
awesomerobot
How dare they take away something that should be only done by human hands!!!
BookbagNinja
KittyHawk has Hands!!!! It will take over the internet and our women!
BigViper
I think the creepiest part is how he talks about the prepubescent. Icky.
Mark 2000
"I've rethought it. I've now decided to create an invention that will not make me wealthy or famous, but will still ensure I don't get to touch any women's breasts!"
"You know, I really don't think you're thinking through this."
"Oh! Crap!"
92BuickLeSabre
Dear friends and Gizmodians, I couldn't express my glee any further with mere text to know that I love a Luddite. Nay I say to the mammary massaging mechanical man-hands!
Kaiser-Machead
[www.rockmeradio.com]
Right, just like the free mammogram machine! (sorry, forgot how to embed pics)
B1663R
This is wrong on so many levels. And kinda interesting as well.
Nathan Drake
Ahh, where to start?
I would like to see the woman they had the demo set up for. (large diameter of rotation, large...very large...we know what you like Wang!)
Next is the mention of "good portability". First off, it doesn't look too portable. Also, where do they think potential customers will be taking this apparatus.
1) Out from hiding under the bed
2) Some kind of robot/machine sex party
Lastly, (I could go on) who is doing their " market research"? Could this be the one and only Mr. Wang sitting in front of his computer surfing pr0n? If that's the case, then I'm a market researcher for Jergens and Kleenex!
Hey Wang, don't tell'em you're jewish, I think this club's restricted.
xXxRHINOxXx
"I have created an invention that will make me wealthy, famous, and ensure I don't get to touch any women's breasts!"
"Wait, don't you have that last part backwards?"
"Oh! Crap!"
92BuickLeSabre
Hey, where is the NFSW version? Com'on Giz..
fernando_maciel
@NoStyle: Nice southpark reference, THEY TOOK R JOBS!
graffiksguru
As I said here before: [gizmodo.com]
Fellas, we are now officially obsolete.
spaceman7
@ThaKadinskyPapers: Great question and glad you asked ;)
2.Women who received surgery in the breast, desire to have a faster and better recovery
Massage has been proven to increase blood flow and help reduce scar tissue. simply because this is a breast doesn't mean that it isn't still skin.
3.Mothers, who are nursing babies, want to release the pain and to accelerate the secretion of breast milk
Again, Massage causes the release of Dopamine which in turn helps with painful situations. Just because they're breasts, doesn't mean that they're not still skin. As for the Breast milk secretion. When a woman is lactating, she will continue to do so as long as the milk is needed (read: pumped) doing so more often causes the body to produce more in response.
4.Female who is having the period, want to release the swelling pain of breasts.
Same as Dopamine part above, breasts are still skin.
5.Women who want to lower the incidence of mastopathies.
I admit that this one is a bit of a stretch but assuming that the mastiopathies were caused by calcification, manual stimulation can help to prevent this.
6.Women, who are under pressure, want to relax themselves.
A woman's anatomy generally precludes massage of the pectoral muscles which lie underneath the mammary glands. It is true that muscles that do not receive massage cause relaxation more readily than other muscles that are more easily massaged.
8.Women who want to have pretty breasts.
Although it sounds a bit silly to those outside of the MT profession, Massage causes an increase of blood flow which helps to remove toxins and other fluids that can lie stagnant in the body. It also has been shown to increase elasticity. The net effect of this is a more elastic skin and a fuller bust.
I've been practicing massage for a long time and while it (breast massage) is legal in California, it is not legal anywhere else that I am aware of. and no, I'm not in California, I just practice on the girls I date and observe the results. Like I said, it's not what you think... kinda like having your gluteals massaged... looks like someone's squeezing your a$$, but he's really working some of the most used muscles on your body.
Magiksreal
Lot of men would do this for free, why bother?
Palestina
This guy misnamed his company. Instead of Beijing BUBBY Robot Technologies CO., LTD he needs to remove the U and add two "o" to get it right. Come on Wang!
MorganRW
They're takin' ar jobs!
NoStyle
hey I've got a business plan: instead of paying for a machine, women could get paid by men who would be more than willing to massage their boobs.
oh yeah, the women might be called prostitutes, but that's a minor inconvenience. We live in a brave new world after all.
001
@ThaKadinskyPapers: Is "8.Women who want to have pretty breasts." one of them? Cause that's what I'll tell my girlfriend before I get my grope on.
Asvetic
Could this post please be made less safe for work? Korean product strokers, maybe?
konkeydong
Does touching your boobs really make them pretty? Maybe thats what I've been doing right.
Snowbunny
Awesome-O part 2: Cartman's Puberty
YouandWhoseArmy
That thing is creepy man....
nikeplr
damn...all the good jobs are taken by robots! first it was auto assembly line workers, now it's breast massagers!
el_bob
I am willing to bet no women buy this, only men.
Do Not Want.
Curves
@SuppleMonkey: Men, we are slowly being replaced by mechanical devices. First the dildo, then the vibrator, and now this.
What do we get as a consolation? A bottle of Jergens and access to a virtually unlimited amount of porn. Oh wait, never mind....
golferal
Mr. Wang. Come Here. I need you.
GiltProto
Robots have all the fun.
itchytooth
@Magiksreal: "Seriously though, breast massage does offer a lot of the benefits listed above, but it's not as "gropey gropey" as you might think.
Exactly which of the, ahem, "benefits" listed do you believe to be legitimate? I'm curious, because maybe 2.5 out of the 8 listed would actually hold water.
ThaKadinskyPapers
I for one am appalled at yet another example of human jobs being outsourced to robots!
We should form a union to oppose this.
SuppleMonkey
"We will sincerely corporate with investors to make the BMR the hottest high-tech product worldwide."
How do you corporate with investors?
Ypoknons
Yeah - if we need this there are plenty of volunteers...
sybann
1 question - how much does it hurt to have those metal plates drilled into your ribcage like the dummy?
Hiphopopotamus
@dukemang:
I guess there are some willing to PAY to do that job....
litos
Screwy idea (anyone want to bet this WASN'T invented by a woman? ) - just a few screws on each side into the ribcage...
ANoel
@TheAdAgency: damn you beat me to it. figures a guy named wang would have built this.
wizardofpants
foreplay just got a little lazier.
DeCerbo
It is also good for women that want a breast massage but don't let their husbands touch them anymore.
reddingofish
Well thank goodness there's a big hunk of styrofoam with which to demonstrate how this works.
Have these developers never heard of human test subjects?
Geisrud
Hey wait a minute. We don't need no stinking robots. There are plenty of men ready to work for low wages (even free)to do this kind of work.
dukemang
I'll invest my 1000 shares of toys.com
SchruteBuck
Wang, you've done it again!
TheAdAgency
I are robot.... please expose your breasts...
I want to be in the robot suit for that... if women are silly enough to fall for THAT, then I'm in for some fun!
Seriously though, breast massage does offer a lot of the benefits listed above, but it's not as "gropey gropey" as you might think.
Magiksreal