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Area Man Parks Car In House Roof, Tells Police "GPS Made Me Do It"
Posted by Jesus Diaz at 9:40 AM on January 5, 2008
CHICKASHA, Oklahoma (Agencies). Chickasha-resident James McFarlan, a 45-year-old computer analyst and part-time fabric designer, drove this morning into Annie Svenson's home roof after what he referred to as an incident with his car GPS. "I told him [Sheriff Furillo] that my GPS made me do it. I was just driving when the nice sexy voice inside the box told me to turn left while I was driving through the bridge on Frisco and 62nd," said McFarlan after being released by the police. "She was like, come on, do it. Do it! Dooooo iiiit!!!" The next thing McFarlan recalls is 78-year-old retiree Mrs. Svenson in her nightgown, knocking on his windshield.
tn
Shortly after this episode, unidentified federal agents appeared in the area, escorted by a group of US Marines. Establishing a perimeter around the house, they seized the car and took both Mr. McFarlan and Mrs. Svenson into custody. An official written statement, handed to the press on the scene, pointed out that the Pentagon and all the government agencies are taking all precautions in connection to a potential general uprising of GPS machines all over the country.
According to the same note, earlier this week there were recent reports of other GPS units "malfunctioning" and "giving wrong instructions to wreak havoc in our transport infrastructure." In Bedford Hill, New York, a computer consultant blamed his vehicle's GPS after driving his car into a railway and causing a train to crash at 60mph. News outlets all over the nation are reporting other similar incidents:
In a conference call, Pentagon spokesman Jerry Lopez admitted that these weren't isolated accidents. "We think this may be related to the secret alien invasion currently underway across the planet" Lopez declared. "On the other hand, it may just be a bunch of idiots" he added after a brief pause.
During a short interview with the Chickasha Salty Water Aquariums Bi-monthly, Digg editor and famed sea sponge collector Kevin Rose said that his community-based popularity website has been receiving "numerous articles about these incidents. I don't agree with Mr. Lopez. It's just too coincidental. I think this may be real. You know, like in that episode of Star Trek, where the computer on the Enterprise gets crazy and tries to crash itself against a Romulan ship. LOL! Dude, that shit was crazy." Rose added.
Meanwhile, professional snooker player and freelance legal consultant for Gawker Media Drew Curtis declared: "I never saw that episode of Star Trek. I think Kevin is making it all up." [Yahoo! News and Total Car Crashes]
(Notice: While this should come as obviously fake to 99% of the people out there, for the 1%, yes, this post is fake fake FAKE. F-A-K-E.)
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
SuppleMonkey
Posted 11:54 PM 4/1/08
Aw, man? Why you gotta pick on Oklahoma? Don't we get enough legitimate bad press as it is?
SuppleMonkey
s017jrs
Posted 10:51 PM 4/1/08
Stupidity should be painful. It's nice to see that every once in a while, it is.
s017jrs
Red Right Hand
Posted 10:25 PM 4/1/08
I swear Jesus moonlights for the Onion
Red Right Hand
Munch
Posted 9:26 PM 4/1/08
In related news, Gizmodo has recently been purchased by The Sun Newspaper
Munch
Altanader
Posted 8:43 PM 4/1/08
DECEPTICONS
Altanader
MagnoliaBoy
Posted 8:37 PM 4/1/08
It could be psychological. Sort of like driving home after a long day, you find your self at home and don't really remember how you got there. After constantly being bombarded with voice commands, the Id could take over and decides to fuck with you. Remember running up to your mom, asking if she called you, and she hadn't? Same thing.
MagnoliaBoy
SalParadise
Posted 8:30 PM 4/1/08
What, is it April 1st already? Or is Gizmodo just trying to avoid the rush? Credibility, guys: you're losing it!
BTW, how was the car supposed to BACK into the roof?
SalParadise
jarobi
Posted 8:14 PM 4/1/08
@IAMDUDE70: same here haha
jarobi
jarobi
Posted 8:13 PM 4/1/08
@kfadler: TomTom then created subordinates JackJack, BamBam, and Pooky, the latter of which was slightly retarded as its code could not completely accept its lack of redundancy.
jarobi
chrisaroz
Posted 7:58 PM 4/1/08
You guys got it all wrong, see, there is no Frisco in Chickasha. Heck there's probably not even a 62nd... little Podunk town. They do, however, have a Dairy Queen.
chrisaroz
thisaintsweettea
Posted 7:37 PM 4/1/08
unfunny attempt at humor is unfunny.
thisaintsweettea
strider_mt2k
Posted 7:33 PM 4/1/08
This was a triumph
I'm making a note here,
HUGE SUCCESS
(Sorry, it's been on my mind.)
strider_mt2k
katorok
Posted 7:30 PM 4/1/08
*sigh* The only thing this shows is that driving licenses are WAY too easy to get..
katorok
Quantum
Posted 7:24 PM 4/1/08
Technological determinism aside, am I the only one noticing the fact that many tech gadgets of late lack the designation and markings that they are not meant to or designed for the purpose of replacing the human brain for any given function?
Quantum
IAMDUDE70
Posted 7:06 PM 4/1/08
I thought it was real until the part where the guy said "the sexy computer voice was like DO IT!DOOOO IT!"
IAMDUDE70
Empire
Posted 6:49 PM 4/1/08
Only a matter of time. Then you can say you had the scoop.
Empire
soldstatic
Posted 6:47 PM 4/1/08
reading the onion too much lately?
speaking of tongue in cheek stuff, there was a clip on the news tonight, a girl said she got a "zune which is an ipod"
soldstatic
AJcorex
Posted 6:39 PM 4/1/08
I bought it.
AJcorex
newgalactic
Posted 6:39 PM 4/1/08
Flying Cars!!! FTW!
newgalactic
fosho4
Posted 6:36 PM 4/1/08
Theres an episode of the office where he drives into a pond because the GPS told him too.
fosho4
wage
Posted 6:31 PM 4/1/08
I like the "Dumb People" tag!
wage
Paradise
Posted 6:26 PM 4/1/08
@odnet: SHUT UP.
Paradise
odnet
Posted 6:23 PM 4/1/08
will it... blend?
odnet
sdonham
Posted 6:12 PM 4/1/08
There's his problem..... He's a computer analyst AND a fabric designer?!?!?!? That's a toxic combination likely to cause permanent central nervous system damage and otherwise strange, unexplained behavior.
sdonham
92BuickLeSabre
Posted 6:04 PM 4/1/08
Coming from Oklahoma myself, I'll just say this:
The folks most likely to actually do this are, in fact, there....as are the people most likely to believe it happened.
92BuickLeSabre
kfadler
Posted 6:00 PM 4/1/08
At approximately 3:00PM central time, tom tom became self aware.
kfadler
ItsMrJP
Posted 5:54 PM 4/1/08
I for one welcome...*GUNSHOT*
Finally I had to shut that guy up.
ItsMrJP
Mless
Posted 5:53 PM 4/1/08
I remember how the last FAKE post confused a butt load of Giz readers...Jesus writes funny stuff...
Mless
shorty63136
Posted 5:52 PM 4/1/08
Thank you Orson Wells!
shorty63136
halfro
Posted 5:52 PM 4/1/08
Gee Pee Stupid
halfro
Bash_
Posted 5:50 PM 4/1/08
you FAIL! and I really hope that people aren't that stupid IRL... :/
Bash_
djjs
Posted 12:54 AM 5/1/08
Impersonating the Koolaid guy? not cool..
hes a computer analysts? what kind of wierdo listens to his GPS like that?
Sure sometimes the voice is sexy. but u must fight it. ...jeeze..
djjs
hagrun
Posted 12:38 AM 5/1/08
@Bash_: Check out the darwin awards...
hagrun
SMSDHubbard
Posted 4:14 AM 5/1/08
Ouch. I went to college in Chickasha for a year.
SMSDHubbard
SMSDHubbard
Posted 4:13 AM 5/1/08
@chrisaroz: Haha, my Aunt(in-law)'s mother owns that DQ.
SMSDHubbard
jesusdiaz
Posted 3:43 AM 5/1/08
People, while the news is not real, what is real is that this morning there was news in Reuters (linked in the article) about a dumbhead who blamed his GPS after a train crushed it. He said the GPS made him drive into the railway crossing and then his car got stuck. That was his explanation.
In other words, there are DUMB people out there. This one was from New York, but I'm sure there are similar cases all around the world
(I picked Oklahoma at random, by opening Google maps panning and zooming until I found a tiny town. There's a Frisco in Chiksasha. And all the photos are real)
jesusdiaz
bbfreak
Posted 8:38 AM 5/1/08
Wow, an alien invasion, its about time! Anal probings for all! Well, except me of course, but yeah.
bbfreak
Walter
Posted 7:58 AM 5/1/08
you have zero points left on your license.
Walter
Luke
Posted 9:58 AM 5/1/08
My grandma lives in Chickasha. I've been there dozens of times to visit her over the course of my life. They have a great lights festival that runs from Thanksgiving to New Years.
[www.chickashafestivaloflight.com]
Luke
Promethean
Posted 9:36 AM 5/1/08
I've had GPS units tell me to do stupid things, like go the wrong way down a one way street. My solution to this, and granted I'm a genius, is to not do it.
We've most of us grown up with cliches like "If you friend jumped off a bridge, would you?" and answered "no" to them. Why would a GPA unit hold more sway over our decision making faculties?
Promethean
exterminat25
Posted 12:06 PM 5/1/08
@PROMETHEAN: well actually my answer to that question has always been.... "how high's the cliff" or "No i wont be following them jump off ill be the first one doing the jumping ;)"
exterminat25
drsmith
Posted 12:00 PM 5/1/08
er .. Don't quit your day job.
drsmith
drsmith
Posted 12:00 PM 5/1/08
I just don't understand this. This isn't the Onion - stop trying to be The Onion. I didn't think it was funny at all. Don'
drsmith
tdj114
Posted 10:46 AM 5/1/08
Oh no, I have TomTom on my phone. Have there been any reports of it taking over host devices? I think it just mumbled the "humans are the virus and we are the cure" line from the Matrix under it's breath. Help...
tdj114
techmuse
Posted 10:24 AM 5/1/08
I love how you emphasized that the GPS "made me do it!"
Ah, personal responsibility, hehehehe.
techmuse
Petezah
Posted 12:43 PM 5/1/08
I'm used to seeing these kinds of articles on The Register. This is a first for me on Gizmodo.
Petezah
NeoPoliticus
Posted 8:55 PM 5/1/08
There's no way this could be fake. It's just too plausible.
NeoPoliticus
gary_slamson.
Posted 5:59 PM 4/1/08
wow!!! trhat's why i don't want gps on my iphone.
gary_slamson.
alin0steglinski
Posted 4:04 AM 6/1/08
i dont have any time to waste on fake bullshit...
alin0steglinski
dawn703
Posted 7:01 AM 6/1/08
I was gonna say... Fabric designer? Oh lol.
dawn703
Clammy42
Posted 12:55 PM 7/1/08
It may be fake but that bit about "...on the other hand it may be just be a bunch of idiots." is probably spot on!
Clammy42