Star Wars Figures that Didn’t Make the Cut (Verdict: George, Make These. Now.)

These are probably the best Star Wars toys ever to grace the galaxy: Stormtrooper-fried Skywalker relatives, the energy that bind us all together (aka The Force. Or Mike), a few rocks left from Miss Purty Princess Danish Pastries’ adoptive planet or, my all-time favorite, the only good Ewok (is a Dead Dead Ewok.) And yes, while these toys are not real, the concepts are ripe for the making, hopefully including their made-up descriptions on the box:

The Planet Alderaan

It’s just a box of rocks… yes, it’s the Planet Alderaan. Post-destruction, the play value of this toy was somewhat diminished.

Or the one found in the Smouldering Moisture Farm Playset: “Re-create the moisture farm massacre—Luke’s aunt and uncle killed by Imperial Stormtroopers all over again!!! Burning corpses sold separately.” Evaporate that, Uncle Owen. One more thing, McMorran, the guy who did this? A genius. [McMorranNeatorama]