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Wedgie Proof Underwear Makes Us Recall the Bad Times
Posted by Haroon Malik at 8:35 AM on November 4, 2007
Two 8-year old geniuses have invented wedgie proof underwear—more than a decade too late for us. Simplicity is the key to all great design, as the inventors showed when they presented the Rip Away 1000 on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, which is the most unlikely platform for the display of the 8-year olds prodigious talents.
The Rip Away 1000, as the name implies, tears into two pieces when a wedgie is attempted. This leaves the playground bully reeling with a handful of skid marks. Brilliant. The two parts are held together by Velcro, which we think may be a design flaw. Velcro rubbing up our southern regions might be a tad discomforting. That reminds us of the Deep Heat/boxer shorts prank. Oh it burnt—those were the bad times. [Strange New Products]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Khuluna
Posted 11:52 PM 3/11/07
Ooh. What happens if the rough side of the velcro isn't completely covered by the soft side? >.o Ouch.
Khuluna
rthprog
Posted 11:27 PM 3/11/07
whats the 1000 for anyways?
rthprog
slyseekr
Posted 10:44 PM 3/11/07
Because primary school nerds want everyone to know they wear panties with velcro.
And... OHHHHH, all the velcro pinching your valuables.
slyseekr
Fierock
Posted 10:07 PM 3/11/07
10 years too late? It's never too late for an invention like that... [shuddering at thought of next family reunion]
Fierock
strider_mt2k
Posted 8:48 PM 3/11/07
Get outta there wedge, you can't do anymore good back there!
strider_mt2k
morgang
Posted 8:46 PM 3/11/07
What's going on with that toilet in the picture?
morgang
tidybowl
Posted 8:21 PM 3/11/07
10 years ago? So, you got wedgies when you were a teenage?
You must have been a super dork!
tidybowl
hughjass
Posted 8:05 PM 3/11/07
@AdmNaismith:
Um... I really don't think only wearing a jock strap is ideal.
hughjass
Mark Wilson
Posted 8:03 PM 3/11/07
@Gormania: That may be the best and worst advice ever.
Mark Wilson
professorjonathan
Posted 7:57 PM 3/11/07
I just saw this in a Bart Simpson comic issue #38 last week, described as an invention by Milhouse. Infringement? Great minds think alike???? {Prof. Jonathan}
professorjonathan
Gormania
Posted 7:37 PM 3/11/07
Just go commando kids. That way all the bully gets is a handful of ass and a molestion charge!
Gormania
AdmNaismith
Posted 7:25 PM 3/11/07
It's called a jock strap. Keeps your junk in place and is guaranteed not to ride up.
AdmNaismith
aaj111
Posted 7:12 PM 3/11/07
That's funny. 10 Years late, kids...
For those of you who knows what a wedgie is, this should be music to your crack.
aaj111
GizFanAlpha
Posted 1:15 AM 4/11/07
I don't think this will last long, How do we know some bullies aren't subscribed to this blog, and are formulating a work around for this pair of underwear?
GizFanAlpha
aquaosx
Posted 1:50 AM 4/11/07
So, wait... the solution for preventing wedgies is to let bullies steal your underwear? Wedgies might suck, but not as much as having your underwear tossed on the rim of the playground basketball hoop.
aquaosx
bbfreak
Posted 6:36 AM 4/11/07
I thought wedgies were myths. o.o Or at least I've only seen them in tv/movie land.
bbfreak
iaintgoingthere
Posted 8:28 AM 4/11/07
@GizFanAlpha: Bullies are too stupid to formulate a work around.
iaintgoingthere
92BuickLeSabre
Posted 8:40 AM 4/11/07
This idea sounds like it was invented by two 8-year olds.
92BuickLeSabre
zingbot
Posted 11:31 AM 4/11/07
What's the status on the noogie-proof hair?
zingbot
Dr.Chocobo
Posted 1:26 PM 4/11/07
I was totally think of this idea last week.
Dr.Chocobo
GizFanAlpha
Posted 6:37 PM 4/11/07
@iaintgoingthere:I wouldn't be too sure about that.
GizFanAlpha
tin
Posted 12:47 AM 5/11/07
So, what are the two pieces like?? after recieving the wedgie are you left with half a pair of undies that refuse to stay up because half is missing??? do you velcro them to your pubes (if you have them)??
tin
Nintenboy01
Posted 11:00 AM 5/11/07
@Gormania: Hahaha! ROFL!
Nintenboy01
yougottabekidding
Posted 12:25 PM 6/11/07
These kids are just begging for some swirlies instead of wedgies. Now find a way to prevent indian burns, noogies, and being stripped down to your wedgieless undies and thrown into the girls bathroom.
yougottabekidding
Kobax
Posted 9:35 AM 5/11/07
God help the first kid that wears these things. Once the first bully rips a pair of tighty-whities right out of his pants, even the shy kids are gonna be after his drawers. If that won't put your child in therapy, I don't know what will.
Kobax
kevman90
Posted 6:50 AM 4/11/07
i wish they introduced this like... 2 hours ago.
Yes i am 41 years old and its still a little sore
kevman90
CaptainYoshi
Posted 12:26 AM 4/11/07
As a veteran youth camp counselor, I think these two young men should share the next Nobel Peace Prize.
CaptainYoshi