I swear, I almost rear ended someone after being distracted by their "hitch critter." I give those things a year before states start to ban them.

aquaosx

With that haircut, the guitar-dude wasn't getting any chicks, anyway.

AdmNaismith

Ah, so the guitar hero people have finally found a way to make playing guitar just like guitar hero. I think i may just have to quit playing guitar now, as the music scene has now officially gone to sh1t.

NotJonGreco

I think that Freddy Mercury is cool. Now I have to buy!!!

UNDERSTAR

I'm pretty sure Engadget covered most of this stuff (sans irony).

bobdobbs

10. Chilled Shot Machine
"...That way I know whether I'm on my first or my 12th, the experience will be rich and memorable."

Good luck on any memories of the experience after twelve ;-)

stickystyle

@NotJonGreco:

Amen, i've gotten into arguments with GH fans about that. When rockband was announced. I used my 200 bucks on a used fender )

I kinda like the deer thing... i dont think San Diego will appreciate the redneck appeal tho.

paulca82

Although I wouldn't buy one myself, I certainly would commend anybody who would buy the Jager-type machine.

Even the comment made about it by Wilson doesn't seem to slam it... though maybe that was sarcasm.

Keebler

That E-Z chord guy is probably named Chaz. And he steals girlfriends. Bastard...

cmoody17

As Well Know drunk-ass in brazil([www.youtube.com] ) I Just wuld want the bozze chiller..

Jeremias

That E-Z Chord kit is hilarious, so by pressing any combination of the four buttons (I'm bad at math, how many permutations is that?) you can play any chord? Chromatically, there are 12 possible notes to base a chord out of, then make those major or minor, add extra voicing with 7th's, 9th's, etc, you're talking about a lot of possible chords.

Oh, and to beat Sky Mall's every low-low prices as mentioned above (the two lows must make a double-negative...) you can get the E-Z chord kit for $19.99 directly from their website:

[ezchordguitar.com]

AZTriGuy

the only way that the sumo table would be even considerable for any living room would be if he had a use other than putting things on...the first one is a bottle opener...guess where it would go...

Mless

everyday low, low skymall prices.

the secret is in the second "low" — and that every product is powered by love.

Paradise

I think all of these - er - things are designed to ensure that the only girl you ever get is your toothless first cousin... who has down syndrome.

C'mon, you get to serenade her with your E-Z Chorded Guitar (Wal-Mart guitar extra), then dine in style on Gourmet toasted hot dogs whilst sitting on talegate chairs and drinking chilled Jager shots placed on your sumo table.

Then taking her picture from 300 yards with the binocular digital camera (because you know she only looks good from far).

When it's Christmas Eve, while sitting on your talegate chairs by the pre-decorated christmas tree (because your dumbass backed into your trailer's living room), you giver her what she always wanted, Freddy Kruger FTW. You make sweet, sweet love while the animatronic Elvis belts out, "Love Me Tender" (or Jailhouse Rock, depending in which state your reside).

You finally get hitched, and tie your cans to that adorable little reindeer. Which your aunt then tries to kill for venison, and everyone dies from Lead Poisoning (because it's a quality product from the PRC)

Now if that's not $1530.74 well spent towards living the dream, then you're just not brushing your teeth with chewing tobacco.

electrikecho

"how many chicks do you think you'll score with a handicapable guitar that tells the world you're not smart enough to do what Toby Keith somehow figured out?"
HAHA

hughjass

honestly, i see nothing wrong with the shot chiller... plenty of bars use them; you're poking fun at an effective tool that is common.

i admit, however, the rest of the items are total trash!

lincch01

I love skymall! best mag on the plane. Hours of entertainment trying to find the most awesome/outlandish gadget or home decoration. I would consider hot dog maker machine, sumo table, shot chiller and the Freddie Mercury doll (Queen rules). Maybe not sumo table. He has not gadgetness. If I tailgated the chairs would be good too. everyone might laugh... actually thats dumb, just pack real chairs. But you COULD drive around with the hanging ones.....

redkamel

SkyMall is an oozing scar on the soul of humanity.

Pender

@smitty1123: i raise you american idol.

Paradise

@NotJonGreco: It's really sad that it took Guitar Hero to drive you away from music when there are things like Linkin Park or Fall Out Boy out there...

smitty1123

I've got to say, while that stuff is crap, the shipping is pretty reasonable.

AlexTheSane

WTF with that sumo table. My brothers dog used to go a little mental and hump the couch sometimes so he'd have a lot of fun with that monstrosity..

It doesn't really qualify as a gadget either unless there's a remote control whoopie cushion that comes with it.

Jrsy

Presumably the Sumo Table also allows you to park your bicycle?

andycotterell

This made me think of a Penny Arcade from a couple of years ago. Still makes me laugh. [www.penny-arcade.com]

Oldbrass

I'd buy a freddie mercury action figure

cayton

@Oldbrass: See also: [www.somethingawful.com]

Gev

Hey!...I found it for 20$ :D

[ezchordguitar.com]

Y2KGTP

Heh! Thanks GEV. I want the Plasma Phase Disruptor.

Oldbrass

What about the stand up version?

[www.skymall.com]

delithic

thanks for doing my christmas shopping for me!

mwalker05

ha ha ha, i was looking at the list the day before yesterday on my way into NY....and i could not stop thinking, hey the guys at Giz should see this!

Brilliant shit this, flush it down!!

Cheers!

pradster

Hm, those binoculars are banned? I'd be curious to know which venues. I go to sport venues with fast 300 or 400 glass and multipliers stacked to a DSLR and don't get any crap at all. I would assume they are "banned" (if they really are) because of the telephoto picture taking ability (as crappy lo-res as it is).

spaceman37

@redkamel: Agreed. Skymall is highly entertaining on long boring flights. I have even torn out pages with interesting (at the time) products and taken them home with me. Never bought anything though. To me, the SM catalogue says less about modern life than how tedious and painful flying has become.

wbremner

@hughjass: Yeah, I'm just wondering where Wilson Rothman's multiple platinum records and awards are. Because he's clearly better than Toby Keith.

gokor

@NotJonGreco: @paulca82:
I'm sorry that you've had Guitar Hero fans tell you that playing GH is as good as playing real guitar. As a GH player/non-real guitar player, I'd like to say for all reasonable fans of the game in an open letter to those who scorn the game and love real guitar...

We know it's a game. We know it uses a toy controller. We know it's not the same as playing real guitar. We also know that there are people out there who will use YouTube to try and impress you by getting high scores on Expert playing "Jordan" and even give you multi camera displays so you can see their 1337 finger skills. In no way do we think that being able to play this game will get us laid. However, it is fun. You can play it while completely blasted (and even when you do shitty, it makes it even funnier when you're trying to play it behind your head or with your "dongle"). People who don't like video games like this one, but in no way do we believe that playing GH well makes you anything but good at playing GH.

Now that you know these things about us, the reasonable players of GH, please stop reminding us that playing a rhythm game is not the same as playing guitar, and that our time and money would be better spent learning/purchasing a real guitar. If one of the unreasonable fans tries to tell you that it's better than playing on a "grandpa guitar", please do all of us a favor and punch them repeatedly in the face.

We will vow to do the same on our end.

Thanks.

PS. Do no harm to those with the EZ Chord kit. Clearly, God has already done enough to the poor souls who would purchase this. I would suggest that you destroy the item, though, because the last thing we need are these people using this device to play "Crash Into Me" and thus procreate.

EvilJ

@BENNY THE INTERN: And just because a million (stupid) people listen to your music doesn't mean that you can't play guitar.

ninjamurf

@gokor: It doesn't take a million stupid people to prove Wilson can play guitar.
[cdbaby.com]

BENNY THE INTERN

i live in tennessee and actually saw the deer hitch critter on a lifted truck yesterday....i had to have myself a laugh

atbrown0717

I work at Sharper Image, and I have to see that scary ass Elvis every day I go into work.

It gives me nightmares.

BlumpkinKing

@ninjamurf: No one ever said Toby Keith can't play guitar. In fact, we clearly state the opposite: if you are too dumb to learn guitar, you are dumber than Toby Keith because he can.

Wilson Rothman

I'm anxiously awaiting the Youtube videos once the bubba's back home go for the two-fer and buy the shot-chiller and trailer hitch chairs: drunken rednecks yee-hahing their way around the back-forty swinging from the backs of their pick-em-up trucks.

j12997967

@Paradise: low is a joke google the digital binoculars and I could save $50

mennomateo

I saw the EZ-Chord guy selling a Mr. Microphone.

I swear it's true!

ottermann

I think the EZ-Chord guy gets lot of action - he was booked out of the Mormon Models Agency, and Mormons do it a bunch.

lnbolch

OK, that Freddie Mercury figure would be awesome... for about 15 bucks or so.

The rest of it is crap.

HeartBurnKid

@NotJonGreco: why do people think those who play guitar hero actually think it means they are playing the guitar? do race car drivers think people playing NASCAR games can do it for real? do NFL Players think those who play madden could do it in real life?

xtc46

I have one of those hot dog toasters and I must say that they're the second best way to prepare a hot dog (first would be the grill, obviously). I own the first model, called the Hot Diggity Dogger, which you can see a Gizmodo writer anxiously writing about nearly three years ago. [gizmodo.com] It traps juices in better than a microwave and won't explode your dog. Plus anything beats boiling. A similar effect can be achieved in a toaster oven, but only in a pinch. While $50 is pretty steep, I'd recommend it to hot dog lovers without access to a grill.

Bokista

@xtc46: Let's be fair here, pro guitar players aren't the ones talking this crap; for example, I saw Slash on Conan O'Brien, and he admitted that he loves Guitar Hero, but sucks hard at it. No, these are the amateurs who fart around on a guitar in their garage making stuff that barely passes for music and think they're so impossibly cool and badass because of it. I'm sure you knew a few of them in high school. I know I did, and they're just as insufferable in person.

HeartBurnKid

I can't believe you forgot to mention the uniform of the doomed:

[images.skymall.com]

Polar fleece footed pajamas: [www.skymall.com]

mbizfreak