has anybody here ever wondered what 'comes naturally' to a 76-year old in a double bed aboard an airplane? Maybe he might want to have a Thai-massage offered in package with a hear-massage? "Please step back from the patient while the defibrillator is loading. Beeeeeeeeep [rising in pitch]..."

yogibimbi

@markarian: In effect that's true, though they're still on the books in a lot of states. Unenforceable, but unless states amend the laws there will always be some beaurocrat denying funding to a gay group based on them or some other such misuse.

Zlevee

How long before they feature one of these suites in a James Bond movie where he gets it on with one of the very stewardesses that are trying to discourage such an act of sweet, sweet fun?

Vagabum

@omg-ponies: "When we stop locking up petty thieves and dimebag peddlers for life, then we can criticize Singapore."

That's an incredibly stupid statement. If people in the U.S. weren't doing anything about sentencing reform, well, maybe. But this is like a reversal of the parable, where you're trying to remove a speck of dust in your eye and tell your neighbor that he may want to have the huge board sticking out of his own eye looked at. I think that reform can not only go forward, but actually be aided, by comparing ourselves to other nations and deciding what we don't want.

King of the Wild Frontier

@omg-ponies: Actually, we CAN criticize Singapore. We may lock up dimebag peddlers for excessive prison sentences, but Singapore simply hangs them.

markarian

@flowerofhighrank:
dont knock him for making a valid political point - it's a well articulated and concise commentary on the hypocracy illustrated by american criticism of supposedly bizzarre cultural practices.

i STILL wish we'd use the muslim punishment for theft.

nutbastard

@Zlevee: Actually, so-called "Sodomy" laws were struck down as unconstitutional by the Supreme Court a couple of years ago.

markarian

re: OMG Ponies: good point about cocaine inequity.

flowerofhighrank

OMG Ponies: mellow out; it's not like we're in Singapore.
I have been to Singapore -often- nad my ex-wife grew up there. And I gotta say...this has 'Singapore' written all over it.
It's like living with your parents...and no lock on your bedroom door...FOREVER.
which leads me to my point: I will kick in $10 toward a prize for the first couple to be caught boinking in said situation- IF THEY KEEP GOING. If they stop- no money...

flowerofhighrank

@nizz: Actually oral sex is still illegal in much of the USA too. Oral sex is included in the term "sodomy", even though most people only think it refers to lovin' through the back door.

Zlevee

@omg-ponies:
when you said "draconian penal system" I thought i'd wandered into a D&D post.

nutbastard

canada peaked at Kids In The Hall. And even that shit was hit or miss. There, i said it.

nutbastard

@ANoel:
Aw, it's so cute! look at the canadian! ooh, he's trying so hard ! yes he is! whose a funny canadian? yes you are, yes you are!

nutbastard

I was actually referring to a line in the simpsons episode "You Only Move Twice"

Bart: What are you in here for?
Bizzaro Ralph Wiggum: I'm from canada and they think I'm a little slow, eh?

Woooosh.

jibbly

"Let's not forget that Singapore Airlines is based in a country which still deems it okay to smack people with a rattan cane for even the slightest transgression"

Let's not forget that Singapore is a sovereign nation which is entitled to promulgate and enforce such laws as it sees fit in accordance with any treaties to which it is a party.

While corporal punishment for spitting may seem harsh, the utilitarian argument for such a draconian penal system is that it has a remarkably low crime rate. Additionally, there isn't the expense of incarceration. It is a harsh extension of the "broken window/quality of life" theory of crime prevention (a broken window or other minor act of vandalism is a precursor to larger crime).

The United States is hardly a country to moralize about just punishment for crimes. Perhaps we'd be in a better position if we did not prescribe jail sentences for crack cocaine at 100x the severity as that for powder cocaine or allow for ex post facto recharacterization of convictions for "3 Strikes" purposes.

When we stop locking up petty thieves and dimebag peddlers for life, then we can criticize Singapore.

omg-ponies

@buzaw0nk:
You may have thought you could sneak one by, but no!
And please do not refer to Nutbastard that way.
As much as his comments lead you to believe he does,
he probably doesn't really stink.
No, really.

ANoel

I mean so long as they aren't kinky or illicit about it
ie..s&m whips/chains/knives or even pretend stuff that could spook ppl
or maybe they jsut get off on an 8 ball before hittin it in the air..

ie so long as they are not a threat in the air then a 14 g ticket to an exclusive bedroom should come with fresh sheets & some complimentary wipes to clean up afterwards.
--nobody's damn business what goes on in there except for the idiots who paid that much for the experience

DigitalTrix

I'm totally with the airlines on this one. Last thing I wanna hear is a 76 year old dude scream out skeet skeet skeet.

Silenthillnight

Not worried about the sounds but the musky odors emanating from said double bed suite...It's one thing when it's your own stank, but international travelers are not always keen on their hygiene, and that's with their pants on.

buzaw0nk

canadia? douchebag!

mtopper

@jibbly:
what? no, not specifically, but thats not a bad idea. fucking 'nuck. why don't you take your noninterventionalism and keep it to yourself!

nutbastard

wait, what?

nutbastard

@nutbastard: because I'm from canadia, eh?

jibbly

digitaltrix : What are the FAA safety regulations "coming on board"?

robo

Back in 4 minutes.....

SchruteBuck

i actually went and had a smoke - it was wide open for 4 minutes.

nutbastard

You know what..they're shootin themselves in the foot on this one..
let's just review the facts on this one:

Even building a double bed compartment is hella expensive

Less than 1/10 of their customer base can afford or is probably willing to spend that much money for a maximum 10-18 hr flight.

As long as they have passed FAA regulations for safety coming on board the plane & are paying oh around the price of a brand new car just to enjoy that experience, SA and anyone else offering should have a maid service and complimentary condoms & mints tucked under the pillow.

Talk about idiotic....i mean when's the last time someone paid to have a slumber party at a swank hotel (excluding rockstars & they have fun @ their parties hehe )

DigitalTrix

I suspect that this is more of a "don't ask, don't tell" policy put in place to reassure the peons in steerage that the swells don't get to knock boots on top of all the other privileges that they have.

King of the Wild Frontier

they'll be able to tell because the walls only go up to approximately eye-level...

onlytemporary

*high 5* @ lankysob

*gives jibbly the finger*

dude, how could you even think i wasn't ready to pounce on that?

nutbastard

D'oh!

jibbly

@lankysob: Jesus CHRIST, man, there's just some things you don't talk about in public!

jibbly

@lankysob:
Jesus Christ, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!

nutbastard

@nutbastard: So did he come or what?

lankysob

link to original pic please...

slingblade

They could just ban sex ENTIRELY, in Singapore.

jellobrains

...all of a sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control. So, he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So, all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So, all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of a sudden the hydraulics kick back in and the plane rights itself. It lands safely and everyone puts their pieces or whatever, you know, away and de-board. Nobody mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.

nutbastard

so my guess is that they have camera's on the plane, who wouldn't if someone breaks the rules the security people will have a show just before they go in and say no

demonwolf

@ANoel: How would they know? I assume that flight attendants shouldn't disturb you if your door is closed (because of "sleeping"). But then again, Singapore isn't exactly the most homosexual-friendly country.

jawzxy

Oral sex was also illegal in Singapore until 2004.

nizz

i think i am more impressed with a 76 year old dude wanting to get it on 30k feet in the air. unless of course his 'wife's is one of the 'singapore girls'...

rajivgk

would gay couples be allowed to not not fuck too?

ANoel

They can't stop it, but they have to announce a policy to please the customers who will have a problem with this and perhaps also the government.

bandit

I'm just impressed that a 76-year-old man is the one who stepped up first!

mcg1969

They will NEVER keep people from having sex in those rooms. If people can sneak sex into those tiny restrooms, well then this is a no-brainer.

bdkennedy1

@Nutbastard: I'm glad I'm not your girlfriend!

@ANoel: Singapore recently voted against decrimininalizing gay sodomy (straight sodomy was decriminalized only a couple years ago), so I imagine it's off the in-flight menu too.

Xenobiologista

@omg-ponies: I'll bet you haven't had your ride broken into by a repeat (read 5th) offender of yet. I'm for decriminalization of drugs as you noted, but petty crimes affect quality of life.

SeattleTed

The trick with getting away with doing it on an airplane is to be like JC:

"The act of consumation can be acomplished in two strokes. Two thrusts! one, for insertion, and one for completion!"

nutbastard

@King of the Wild Frontier:
and what exactly are we doing about sentencing reform? oh yeah, voting... because we know that works so well for getting rid of unjust laws.

nutbastard

@King of the Wild Frontier: Dude, it's Matthew 7:

4 Or how can you say to your brother, "Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

It's not the sentiment that's bothersome - just the arrogance of the use of "we" as if that one person is speaking for all of us.

Elvisisdead

The Bed Has Bouncy Bouncy Sensors !!

Bllo

@King of the Wild Frontier: omg-ponies made a well-articulated point (especially for this website, where did that come from?). Maybe we can all try and keep it on this level instead of calling things "incredibly stupid"? Make your point well and the stupidity becomes obvious.

The Lab

I wonder if they have automatic screening for adult film industry members trying to book a suite?

Wyenot

@omg-ponies:
This is right on.
USA has the War Against Drugs but what is needed is a Drug Against War.
Five kids in Grade 5 - what do you want to do when you grow up ... I want to be a Doctor - I want to be a Lawyer - I want to be an Entrepreneur - I want to be a Sports Star - I want to work for the Prison Industrial Complex.

ANoel

I thought "lovin' through the back door" was considered anal??

dark_jak

OMG-PONIES: you don't belong on the internet. please return to real life, and inform as to which party you will be running in in the next election.

croned

@King of the Wild Frontier: We're not doing anything about sentencing reform but making matters worse with mandatory sentencing laws passed by referendum.

Legislation by popular vote is wasteful and unproductive. It often results in unconstitutional and is not the product of reasoned debate. When people think "sentencing reform", they think "how can we send people away for more time?" Whether there is room in the prison system or whether harsher sentences are just or effective doesn't enter the debate.

On top of that, we have an administration which has sought to find how far constitutionally guaranteed civil rights can be denied. Evidently, as shown by Jose Padilla, an American-born citizen can be held indefinitely, denied habeas corpus and counsel, and subjected to torture as long as the information is not used at time of trial on the say-so of a secret tribunal in an arbitrary, non-reviewable proceeding based on secret evidence.

No, we have no business telling other countries how to dispense justice because our own house is so far out of order.

omg-ponies

they're dreaming if they think they can stop people from doing the horizontal mamba in a twin bed suite!! unless they have cameras in the 'private' room - given that this is Singapore we're talking about, I'm guessing they have cams installed :^)

banmojo

@SeattleTed: Adding "recidivism" as an aggravating factor at sentencing is one thing. Unfortunately, "3 Strikes" laws go beyond that, by re-punishing for the past offenses.

Take a classic example: D, the so-called "repeat offender".

When D is 20, he is he commits "Assault With a Deadly Weapon: Knife". He pleads down to Simple Assault and Possession of a Prohibited Weapon and serves 2 years. When he is released, he has served his entire sentence (he's not on parole). When he gets out, he gets a little rowdy at a bar and gets into a fight. He is charged with felony assault. Here's where the problem comes in.

Under the "3 Strikes" laws, the prior single case counts as two strikes because D plead to two lesser includeds for less prison time. Moreover, the 3 Strikes law allows misdemeanors to be re-characterized as felonies if they're theft, drug, or violence related. Now, D is facing a mandatory 25 years to life in prison for a bar fight. That is not justice.

Mandatory sentencing is anathema to the just application of law. By depriving a judge of his/her power and authority to judge and deliver sentencing, the power of sentencing is usurped from the judiciary and vested in the executive in the form of the District Attorney who has the power to charge. The power to charge and submit evidence becomes the power to sentence. Saying that a governor may commute sentencing is similarly not a curative to the usurpation of authority by the executive. This is the same problem that the Federal Sentencing Guidelines had.

When punishment is not tempered with mercy, it ceases to be justice.

omg-ponies

The wall is only eye-level and basically looks like an office cubicle rather than an isolated room. Flight attendants will know what you are doing inside. They couldn't completely seal off the bedding area for security reasons.

Check out times(UK) newspaper online and they have video reviews of the first class where you can see the interior of the plane.

ywpark

and god forbid an american criticize the rediculous power our government has over our lives, let alone the rediculous predisposition that, compared to other "less developed" countries, our ways are just oh so much better, and look how civilized we are...

nutbastard

@croned:
sorry if your republicrat-demopublican dichotomy-centric world view can't encompass anything that remotely resembles progress. I'll give you a clue: He's not republican or democrat.

nutbastard

Who is she? Inquiring minds want to know!

Sorry for the subject change there. Back to politics, and fixing broken govs.

tek_nic

@omg-ponies:
How do you even know that guy is American who brought that up?

Shane

A swift caning included? Oh yes... I think that would indeed be in order once the "Singapore Girls" joined you in the suite.

You are a filthy, filthy man, Charlie, that's why I like you.

SpaceJanitor

Hey look! It's the flying brothel!

chrisAPL

For what those beds cost, they should have a flight attendant join in for a threesome.

Jesse in Japan

@omg ponies:

When punishment is not tempered with mercy, it ceases to be justice.

Amen to that!

soundengineer

Long rant ahead!

Let's not forget that Singapore Airlines is based in a country which still deems it okay to smack people with a rattan cane for even the slightest transgression

Um, that's 1) clearly an exaggeration and 2) yes, as omg-ponies said, it keeps people on the right side of the law. If they don't follow, that's the consequence, and if you commit the crime knowing the consequences, well it's a risk that you've taken. That being said, Singaporean laws may be draconian, but not altogether unreasonable. How difficult is it to follow rules? Extending that, how difficult is it for you to control your libido for a few hours?

Personally, I'm not sure I wouldn't be able to hear someone having an orgasm above the sound of the engines. And I wouldn't like to be on the same plane as whoever that is...well, if I could afford to be seated in the same area of the plane that is. (Think of the hygiene! ugh and it's not exactly 100% private, is it?)

On top of that, there is the question of safety. Everyone knows there's some risk attached to flying. (Just this afternoon I watched a documentary on NatGeo about a plane that plummeted and caused passengers to feel 5 times their weight due to G-force) Imagine if something like that happened while you were up to a little activity in your little cubicle. Hm. If there was an emergency, I'd expect you'd need to have at least your clothes and shoes on to be able to get out of danger if it ever happened. It's not a really big IF considering the history of commercial flights.

Ultimately, no matter how much of a flying hotel the SIA A380 seems to be, (and can those doors be locked? I'm not sure, especially with regards to safety) I think it's generally not a good idea to get it on up in the air.

soundengineer

Isn't Singapore the place that bans Chewing Gum but you can still chew one? Well, this one is no surprise coming from them!

Brajeshwar

@Brajeshwar:
Oh, for crying out loud, please grow up, and try to get your facts straight, or at least understand the rationale behind the measures [en.wikipedia.org]

bungee