For those who need an extra jolt in the morning, this Saeco Etienne Louis espresso machine is happy to oblige. Constructed of steel with aluminum spikes, the sphere actually hides a compartment to heat water, combining form and function brilliantly (kill, caffeinate, repeat).

And while the espresso maker only pumps out one to two cups at a time, your third guest will be too busy crapping their pants to request that you fire up the machine for a second go, and otherwise ruining post-dessert conversation. We don’t know how much this beauty costs, but like a trip to the gun store, we don’t recommend you attempt the five-finger discount. [product via bornrich]